BULLRIDERS NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

I will tell that Craig Hummer to use my full name, or else.—João Ricardo Vieira

I’m gonna get that damn latch fixed so I can get out of my helmet when Leah wants to interview me.—Austin Meier. (And I promise to do something about my hat hair.)

I will change my name from Canadianaaronroy to Aaron Roy.—Canadianaaronroy

Every time someone calls me ‘JB Mauney’s brother-in-law,’ I will make him pay a fine to the Riders Relief Fund.— Shane Proctor. (I might need my shoulder fixed again.)

I will keep sending Supermen up to ride in the States; maybe eventually those big babies there will get over themselves.—Adriano Moraes. (PS: Guilherme Marchi should’ve been Sexiest Cowboy. I’m straight, and even I know that.)

I will dance like no one is looking.—Ben Jones (Oh, wait a minute—I already do!)

Maybe I will take a re-ride now and then.—Silvano Alves

I will let someone else win Stock Contractor of the Year.—Jeff Robinson. (Over my dead body.)

I will keep ignoring slaps, spurs in knots, lost tail ropes, and the reality of slo-mo, and do my best to keep the Brazilians from winning everything.—Jeff Shear

I will keep harassing Brazilian riders as soon as they get into the chute, and let any other rider make a sandwich in there.—David Fournier

I will keep kicking ass, and that Mauney kid better not try getting on my back again. He’s pissing me off!—Bushwacker

I will keep struttin’ my stuff and telling the truth.—Chicken on a Chain

I will rev up more McKeeisms for those bull riding organizations who know a good thing when they hear it.—Justin McKee

I will resign and turn my job over to Leah Garcia.—Craig Hummer. (That one’s for Kris.)

I don’t need to make any New Year’s resolutions. I already did everything I said I would.—JB Mauney

NOT A BULL RIDER, BUT…

I promise to stop twerking.—Flint Rasmussen

About Bull Riding Marketing

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10 Responses to BULLRIDERS NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

  1. S. says:

    Oh, and, did you see this (from here: http://www.pbr.com/en/news/features/other-features/2014/1/jb-mauney-continuing-to-ride-his-way-into-the-pbr-record-books.aspx)?

    “NEW YORK MINUTE: This weekend, the PBR began working to finalize a new rule involving a chute clock.

    Once a rider begins pulling his bull rope a one-minute clock will begin. Judges have the discretion of adding 30 seconds if a bull begins leaning, squatting, bucking or anything else that prevents a rider from getting a clean out. Judges can only add 30 seconds twice after which either the rider is awarded a re-ride or disqualified for staying in the chute too long.

    The first four BFTS events – New York, Chicago, Duluth and Oklahoma City – will be used to finalize the rule, which will go into effect beginning in Sacramento, Calif.”

    I would be for this if I thought it would be applied sensibly, but this seems very likely to play out as we have seen in the past.. If they don’t have a translator at the chutes, which I’m sure they won’t, the Brazilians who are weaker at English won’t be able to explain problems that aren’t totally obvious. So I guess we have a lot of 1-2 minute DQs to look forward to in the new year…

    • Trying to be a fan says:

      Too me, this will be very subjective. Maybe they need to get a few judges from Brazil. This could be interesting when the PBR transitions to China. They don’t even use the same numbers!

    • I saw the chute clock at the NY event, and thought, What a great idea! Then I realized that the judges still can do whatever they want, because who’s going to argue with a judge? It’s not like the riders have their own managers, and there are no referees. The only people who can see the clock are audience members in the expensive seats, and what are they going to do about it? Even if TV broadcasts show the clock once in a while, the judges still have “discretion”– which means they’ll NEVER DQ Mauney, and they still can harass the Brazilian riders. And after a ride or a DQ or a re-ride option, any Brazilian rider who doesn’t understand what just happened, doesn’t know enough English to ask, and has only 30 seconds to hit the challenge button is going to be S.O.L. unless another Brazilian rider who knows a bit more English can sprint out onto the dirt and translate for him.
      This is a classic attempt at pretending to be fair, which will satisfy a lot of customers who don’t bother to think it through.

  2. Trying to be a fan says:

    I see that the “Sexiest Cowboy” winner was not riding today. I understand that he was arrested for being drunk and resisting arrest and spent the night in jail in NYC. Sounds like he needs to have a sober friend with him at each event. Not very good pr for the new book. Maybe all the publicity of being picked made him have a big head.

    • Holy crap! I was wondering why he wasn’t there– just his posters. What a place to get busted! Jail in NYC isn’t exactly small-time. He must’ve been utterly obnoxiously out of control to piss off a NYC cop– they’ve seen everything. And why didn’t his buddies get his ass out of there before he did? If I were the book publisher, I’d get that photo off the cover, quick, and find someone else.
      How did you hear about this?

  3. Trying to be a fan says:

    I can hardly read the PBR website. JB is everywhere! This is just the first weekend of the new PBR season. And really, going to take bullriding to China? Really? Once again, PBR will not be live tonight. Sick of this…

    • There is an alternative; the CBR will be broadcasting some events on CBS Sports & maybe Fox Sports. A website called “Locate TV” will send you info on various televised bull riding events, if you sign up for their (free) mailing list. When the CBR updates its website with the info for 2014, and the PRCA is back in full swing, you won’t have to be stuffed to the gills with JB worship. I’m going to the Garden event tomorrow, and I’m SO grateful I don’t have to hear Craig Hummer blabbering about his idol. I’m going to watch tonight’s broadcast, though; I want to have some idea what’s going on, though I’m almost afraid of it.

      When the PBR first talked about China, someone commented on my blog that the little gymnastic girls would probably make great bull riders, and kick some American butt. I think the “logic” of trying to bring bull riding to China is that there are billions of people in China, therefore millions of them will watch bull riding. The PBR hasn’t quite grasped the geographic and economic picture over there… not to mention the language barrier. If they can’t handle having someone translate for Portuguese riders, what are they going to do about having translators for the American riders? Different languages are spoken in different provinces.

      I hope they’re not thinking of shlepping American bulls halfway around the world–that would be seriously unhealthy for the bulls. And I REALLY hope they’re not thinking they can train water buffalo to buck!

      • S. says:

        It sounded like they were planning to send Aussie bulls over to jump-start the breeding program if this takes off. However, if the Chinese seriously invest in it, we had better be prepared for tiny Chinese girls to win everything and Chinese stock contractors take over.

        The scoring for Fabiano was AMAZING, wasn’t it? It is just like a Shakespeare play. ::eyeroll::

      • Oh, I see– they think Australia is close to China. LOL!!
        I am SO OUTDONE, as an old friend of mine used to say. I was at the event today. Fabiano needed 86.75 to win the Championship Round over JB. They scored him 86.50, and declared them “co-winners.” SINCE WHEN have there ever been co-winners?? Since the PBR has decided they must have an American win, by hook or by crook. And .25-point dings. Does that ring a bell??

      • S. says:

        See, but they are being fair! A Brazilian can tie with J.B. Yay.

        Well, you know they need J.B. to be the first threepeat, since he can’t be the first back-to-back champ. Shakespeare, I tell ya.

        Looking forward to your in-person report!

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