Albuquerque – 16th Annual Ty Murray Invitational – 3-25-12

Coming in, Valdiron is only 13 points ahead of J.B.

You know what’s great? A mute button. Unfortunately I didn’t hit it soon enough to spare myself Hummer’s opening monologue, which seems to have been penned by Marvel Comics writers. I’m surprised we weren’t hearing “Biff! Bam! Pow!”

BAD LUCK BRENDON (0 for 3) replacing Cody Nance, tried riding with his right arm taped and braced; it didn’t work. “It’s getting to be that time in his career,” said Ty.

DUNCAN’S DOOMED

Douglas Duncan talked in Truth Booth about his two KO’s in previous Pit appearances. The first time, the bull flipped over on him in the chute and knocked him out. The second time, the bull wrecked him and gave him a scar near his lip. He said he’s trying to reverse that luck this time: kissed his fist, touched fist to chin, fist to forehead, “Knock on wood.”

Well, the bad luck continues. His pick, Tremors (Ty Pozzobon’s Round 1 bull) delivered big jumps, fast spins, and was probably thinking just what Ty Murray said: “Get away from me!” Douglas was in trouble early, then hung up for a while until one of the bullfighters was able to reach over the bull’s back and undo the rope, releasing him; he did a good job staying on his feet, or he would’ve been seriously banged up. The bull was still working out like a maniac long after Duncan was down. Hummer’s comment: “Three letters: W–O–W.” I had four: “WHEW!” This is just not Douglas’s town. Maybe next year he’ll doctor out ahead of time instead.

INTRODUCING:

Shawn Best II, invited rider, winner of the Indian National Finals Rodeo Championship. In his first BFTS event, he got slammed with Shepherd Hills Sod Buster─ and the bull fighters weren’t near either the bull or Shawn while he got rolled and shoveled him on the ground; they came in late.

THEM CLONES, THEM CLONES, THEM TOUGH CLONES

I’m Back, ridden only 25% of the time in the BFTS, let Markus Mariluch get halfway through a trip; lucky Markus ended up on his feet. Cord McCoy lasted longer on Another One, but still no score. Emilio Resende, in his second BFTS event, got paired with Mister Slim, who was already showing his forward movement in the chute. He made 5 seconds, but at one point he was literally lying on the bull’s back. Maybe he shouldn’t have started spurring so soon.

I’M JUST SAYIN’…

According to Hummer, L.J. Jenkins “has already won twice in Albuquerque, and he’s going for the hat trick.” Yeah, we all know how the New Mexicans “won” last year.

THIS IS WHEN YOU HATE TO BE RIGHT:

Marchi did get a concussion; he won’t be in the Championship Round.

SO NOT A FASHION ALERT─MORE LIKE AN EMERGENCY

Did Ty Murray and Travis Briscoe go shopping together? They’re both sporting hellacious eye-punishing shirts.

Section 2:

HIGHLIGHTS

• J.B.’s 90.75-point gaw-jus ride on Pure Smoke, who charged out of the gate.
• Valdiron took on Cooper Tires How We Roll, for 88. (“The Battle of the Bigs,” Craig called it.) Valdiron told Leah Garcia, “You’re right, I don’t like to be #1; I’d rather be the one chasing that position rather than being chased. But I don’t want to pass that up, now that I’m here.” (He came in # 2 in this event.) Love seeing him doing pushups with Flint again. But let’s face it, if they don’t use the translator, they need subtitles for Valdiron, even when he’s using English. And how much did I want to strangle that bimbo waving the “Bring the Noise” sign nonstop behind de Oliveira’s head? A LOT.

• J.B. Mauney’s trip on T Rex was a fabulous flying ride; he was serious! Rode him jump for jump, twisting and turning. The bull was airborne, with serious hang time, and his front end came down so hard, his nose touched the dirt. In slo mo it was even more incredible─ like watching J.B. ride Pegasus. (“T Rex going prehistoric” was Craig’s lame-ass attempt at describing it.) 87.25 was the score, for a definite 90-point ride. This ride should go on J.B.’s highlight reel, along with his Code Blue ride in New York, for the next generations who won’t get to see him ride in person.
• Maybe this should be an EEK! but it was astounding. Austin Meier, who missed the 15/15 “bucking battle” because of his shoulder, had no pick, and got stuck with Jaw Breaker. He told Leah that because of his injury he can’t get out on the end of his arm, so he has to ride with perfect form. Well, he came down at 4.96, 2 seconds longer than anyone else woulda stayed on; he was riding sideways at one point, when the bull flipped his body up and flung Austin over onto the other side.
• Valdiron vs. Jr. Bonner─ what a wild fling that was! The bull blasted out big move after big move; one of the Booth Boys said the bull must be thinking, “Why is this guy not off my back!?” They FINALLY gave him a 90! He takes the lead, and The Bummer takes the opportunity to spew out one of his favorite clichés: “and he says to J.B. Mauney, you want your #1 ranking back, you’re gonna have to best me!” As if any of these guys would talk like that to one another!
• Valdiron’s bull was extraordinary, J.B.’s was tough, too; I would’ve tied their scores.

LOVE IT!

That montage of de Oliveira’s rides, proving conclusively that yes indeed, if you’re a bull you don’t want to turn into Valdiron’s right hand. The perky music accompanying it made it a hoot.

FASHION BULLETIN! Jesse Byrne’s new Dickies jersey will be purple. Purple rules!

BULL STUFF

• Meat Hook, the debut bull that has definitely hooked some cowboy meat, kicks so high that his hind end comes so far over his shoulders, it makes him walk or skip on his front legs. Harve Stewart surprised us all by riding him, for 89.50.
• MacNett’s Southern Wine made Fabiano Vieira look like an amateur, and that’s saying something. Ty wondered why this bull wasn’t in the championship round, and I agree.

RENATO ROCKS!

Yesterday Renato Nunes was put on the clock in the chute while Mailman, who tried to leap out of the chute, was still acting up. The judge kept yelling, “He’s on the clock! He’s on the clock!” (as if Renato doesn’t understand those two words of English) “I understand,” he told the man. “You don’t have to keep saying it!” Renato was MAD, and he channeled it into a great ride─ looked like a little demon on that bull. After the ride he threw his hat back into the chute in the direction of the judge. I’ve never seen him blow his top, but he sure had good reason. I’ve yet to see an American put on the clock, especially while a bull is rocking and bumping around in the chute. Renato was so mad, there was no back flip.

Ty said he didn’t know what Renato was mad about, that his behavior was borderline bad sportsmanship, and didn’t know why they didn’t levy a fine. Did he not see the bull bucking in the chute and Renato being unable to finish wrapping? Did he not hear the chute boss yelling, “He’s on the clock, he’s on the clock!”?

You wanna talk about bad sportsmanship? How about the judges cheating and bending the rules to favor some riders over others, overscoring some and underscoring others, and ignoring blatant slaps to help their favorites win events? How about last year, when the bullfighters cheered only for American riders and somehow managed to not get to the Brazilian riders quite in time when they came off their bulls? How about the way the chute guys hassle Valdiron in the chute almost as soon as he sits down?

Renato’s next bull was Play Harder, one of the meaner bulls on tour, according to Shorty. “When a rider gets off the bull, he knows where they are; the bullfighters have to really be on their game,” he said. This one made it halfway over the front of the chute. Poor Renato! Two crazy bulls. Another great trip, but for only 86.50 and a big boo from the crowd (and me)– he deserved more. Renato did all the work on that bull, really digging down, not in his usual flying-by-the-seat-of-his-pants style. I would’ve liked to see him take on J.B.’s bull; probably woulda been 90-points. This time there was a backflip.

P.S. Renato got a concussion in Round 1 from Rack Em Up. I think he came off that bull because he was a little too wild.

HATE IT

• That awful Pit feature: the Staircase of Shame that cowboys have to shlep up after they’re off the bull, ride or no ride. Not only that, Sports Medicine is at the top. How fun is that, climbing 86 steps when you’re concussed, bleeding, or broken in various places?
• No score for Robson Palermo this weekend. Have we ever heard that before?
• Or this: “Austin Meier on the bubble.”

THE ACTION

• Kody Lostroh, riding with a rib fracture, took on Rowdy All Night using a Josh Koschel bull rope for the second time. It takes a few bulls to get it “broke in,” says Ty. The bull made a serious effort to rocket up out of the chute, but “Kody looks like he’s in a sandwich shop in there, he’s very calm, all the way up to when he nods his head,” said Ty. Yeah, ‘cause nobody’s hustling him out. Anyway, the bull’s horn launched Kody halfway across the arena.
• L.J. Jenkins got revenge for being knocked out in Baltimore by draft pick Red Man’s big ol’ horns; 87.75 for a good looking ride.
• Austin Meier went in with a bruised rotator cuff and injured shoulder, untaped, from yesterday’s Round 2, courtesy of PhiPhi’s Secret, who stepped on, butted, and crushed him. Due to his brilliant announcing skills, Hummer confused us all: was Austin’s current bull El Patron, who bucked off de Oliveira in Round 2, or Rush Hour, as Craig said? Either way, from this ride, you’d never know Austin was hurt. Nice work, even if it got him only 84.75 and a big thud at the end. Leah: “What’s your decision?” (about getting on another bull) Austin: “It’s nothing a little Blue Emu can’t handle.”

ARRGGHH!!

Kody Lostroh did a slammin’ great job on Gator Bend (who’d already dumped Robson Palermo), but DAMN, the ride review showed that he reached for his rope at 7.83. He said he thought he heard the buzzer: “Stupid mistake. As I was going off him, then I heard the buzzer, and I realized I hadn’t heard it the first time.” Afterward, Kody was standing next to L.J. in the wings, looking like he was fuming and sad at the same time. Wish Craig had shut up so we could hear what L.J. said to him. If Lostroh hadn’t had that brain fart, he would’ve come into the Championship Round 3 for 3.

DANG!

Haven’t seen Black Ivory, one of my favorites, in a while─ bet J.B. Mauney wishes he hadn’t, either. The bull’s bucking in the chute smashed J.B.’s ankle; he had to get up and take time to get himself together, hobbling and trying to fix it, but nope. Don’t think I’ve ever seen J.B. get off a bull. He was given a re-ride. Is this considered being fouled in the chute? I’ve seen other riders get mangled in there and still have to ride. I was looking forward to that matchup. Leah: “I’m standing so close to him, I’m tempted to ask him, “And why did you pick this bull? But I won’t.” Can you imagine what Erin Coscarelli would’ve done? Mighta been the first time a cowboy punched someone on TV.

P.S. Love the vest with “Ridin’ Dirty” printed on the back. I’d buy one.

I DID NOT KNOW THAT

Kody hasn’t won an event in 2 years. Mike White won Albuquerque 3 consecutive times.

FASHION ALERT!

Leah’s gorgeous print shirt in dark green, white, and accent colors, with long trumpet sleeves. Just my style!

SOMEBODY HELP ME!

Ty Pozzobon’s bull was called Prince Albert, and I know there’s gotta be a joke in there somewhere about Prince Albert in a can (remember those phony phone calls you made when you were in high school?), but I can’t find it. Maybe you can come up with one. Here’s the punchline, anyway: “Well, you better let him out.” Alas, the Prince tossed Ty and took a run at the bullfighters.

REMEMBER HIM?

Sevi Torturo, not visible on this circuit for a while, was an alternate for Marchi. He rode two, but Wild Child didn’t let him go 3 for 3. P.S. Sevi makes his living training barrel racing horses. And he still wants to get his ya-yas out by getting bull-bashed?

KOOL KOWBOY VERB TENSES ARE BACK!

“He likes to get a guy shook loose,” said Ty Murray about Yellow Jacket Jr. and yup, he did, despite Luke Snyder’s valiant effort.

…KOOL KOWBOY FASHIONS ARE NOT

Now Craig AND Ty are wearing op art shirts. Any TV director can tell you not to wear busy patterns on TV. Obviously theirs is clueless.

CAN I GET AN AMEN!?

• “Hey Shorty, you’re impressive,” said Ty about Shorty’s multi-tasking. “This commentating, it’s hard enough when you don’t have a big black bull fixin’ to run over the top of you.” Didn’t totally catch Shorty’s answer, but Ty’s comeback was, “You gotta deal with the bulls, and I gotta deal with Craig.” “I think Ty was trying to tell me I make his job difficult,” said Hummer. Couldn’ta put it better myself. Well, actually I coulda put it less politely.
• “If you wrote this weekend as a Hollywood script, no one would believe it!” You said it, Craig. Happens a lot lately.

CAN I QUOTE YOU ON THAT?

• “Ty got on me last week for fallin’ off of two of ‘em, so I figured I better stay on.”─J.B., becoming the first 3-time winner of the 2012 season.
• “JB Mauney’s one of the most talented bull riders to ever not win a World Championship,”—Ty Murray.

The World Standings now: de Oliveira, Mauney, Eguche, Alves

Albuquerque: 15 riders, 15 bulls 3-25-12

The 15/15 “bucking battle” has nothing to do with the rest of the Albuquerque event. Figure out that one, folks.

Ty Murray is riding shotgun on Motor Mouth this weekend.

THE GOOD:

• On network broadcasts, the onscreen rider/bull/stats/score boxes are big enough so you don’t have to be a flea to read it.
• The Wranglers ad with the rocking cowboy, whoever he was—those lyrics nailed it, calling Las Vegas “Hollywood with a touch of twang.” This is the PBR prepping us for the Finals. Maybe they could replace that other horrible song with this one.

BIG BOSS BULL

• Shorty Gorham interviewed Kent Cox, Bushwacker’s go-to person, who tells us, “Every morning we let him out to play, he likes to dig around in a big sand pile… Anytime another bull or anybody walks past him he likes to bow up to the front and let everybody know how big and bad he is.” True: every time a camera aims at Bushwacker in the pen, he charges right up to it: “I’m ready for my closeup, M. DeMille.” Later we see a clip of the Big Boy shoveling the sand with his horns. “He really and truly don’t care much for people,” Kent says. To prove the point, we see the footage of Bushwacker “slinging J.B. in the air like a rag doll,” as Ty famously said.
• Kinda funny how Shorty told us the bull prefers a big arena. (How can you tell?) Seems to me no matter where you put him, he’s gonna whale on the cowboys; this time, Jordan Hupp, emphatically tossed at 3.5. Ty commented on Bushwacker’s “smartness,” noting his “little showoff move” after he’d already bucked off Hupp: throwing in a direction change just for the hell of it. Bull score: 46.50.

CAN I QUOTE YOU ON THAT?

• “This is the most famous bull to come around.”—Ty Murray, who apparently has erased Bodacious from his memory banks.
•  “Bushwacker’s always ready for his close-up.”—Shorty Gorham

BULL STUFF

• The Big Boss Bull has finally entered the lexicon: Ty referred to Southern Wine’s bouncing-front-end technique as “Bushwackeresque.” And yep, the bull unseated Caleb Sanderson as quickly as Bushwacker would’ve. “Last week he rode Buckey like he was a show calf,” said Ty. Yeah, and it wasn’t much of a trip on that bull’s part.
• Talking about Smackdown, Justin Koon’s matchup, Hummer said, “This is a bull you want to have all your ducks in a row on.” I wish he’d explain those ducks. He mentions them from time to time, but I’ve never seen them, or found out what you do with them once they’re all in a row. Anyway, that bull’s narrow, sharp, downhill back makes it harder to stick. “It doesn’t matter what hand you ride with,” Ty said, “or even if you ride with both hands.” (Smackdown had the top bull score in Sacramento, Oklahoma City, and Detroit.) EEK! The Koon-eye view must’ve been horrifying: that pair of hind legs and hooves flying over his head while he was lying on the ground looking up.
• Back Bender had almost no spin, then too little, too late, but still dumped L.J. What, are Back Bender and Tennessee Honey drankin’ buddies? WTF were they doing last night to show up for work in this state?
• Poor J.B., trying to ride Rango (who’s 1 for 17) with, as Leah put it, “two bum thumbs.” Ty’s testimony as to the bull’s rankness: “If you’re standing back there on the chute when he comes out of the gate, you better duck, ‘cause you’re gonna see two hind feet comin’ at you.” A Telestrator photo of a previous out was worth a thousand words: the bull’s hind legs already were vertical as the chute gate opened. “We’re off!” said Hummer; a second later I said, “so is J.B.,” which Craig echoed. The shot of Rango leaving the chute this time, his hind legs were even more vertical. Ty pointed out, “You can barely see J.B.” I gotta say, J.B. looked kinda nauseated on his way off the dirt.

SO THERE!

Ty Pozzobon was paired up with Shepherd Hills Trapper. Why are they punishing this kid? 8 looked iffy; but in the replay, it was as close as you can get: he had the tail of the rope in his hand as he was hitting the ground, but it stayed there until the buzzer. Well, Ty showed them. Maybe some of the angst from being forced out of Houston and into Glendale went into this ride in revenge. 87.50.

THE STUPID OR AT LEAST HIGHLY UNNECESSARY

“Tweet and give us your opinion on Bushwacker”? My crystal ball tells me the Tweets will consist of such profound comments as, “He’s awesome!” “That’s the rankest bull I’ve ever seen.” “I hope J.B. rides him.” I doubt anyone’s gonna tweet “Bushwacker sucks.” “I could ride him.” “He ain’t all that.”

LUKE LUCKS OUT

“He’s the Seabiscuit of bulls,” Ty said about Tennessee Honey, who completely blew that comparison by doing lots of jumping and running but no spinning, which clearly merited a re-ride. “A horrible trip for Tennessee Honey,” said Ty. Looked like it was worse for Luke, who was helped out by Dr. Freeman and the medics. Turns out he twisted his knee, but was okay.

I’M JUST SAYIN’…

• They put L.J. Jenkins in the Truth Booth to explain scoring to the newbies. Problem is, once they grasp the theory, they’re gonna be mighty confused by the reality. The judges’ version of it, that is.
• Leah reminded us that L.J. won Albuquerque last year. (He’s a New Mexican, what a surprise.) See my 2011 blog post on that little fandango, with the judges throwing the event to a homey.
• She also reminded us that Shivers “has 93 90-point rides” and “22 wins.” We all know about the extra 90-point rides that magically appeared, but that 22 also includes Atlanta, which was a joke. That event belonged to J.B. and was thrown to Chris.
• “L.J. loves performing here in the Pit,” declaimed Hummer. Note the word “performing,” not “riding.”

YIKES!

• Guilherme Marchi was bucked off Perfect Poison and crunched on the noggin—no helmet. Someone immediately checked the back of his head and apparently didn’t see anything bad. “That proves that that cowboy hat doesn’t work like helmet,” said Ty, and he couldn’t be righter. (That’s my official newly minted cowboy adjective.) Marchi of course was smiling on his way out; no blood or brains seemed to be leaking out (though I’m beginning to wonder how much of the latter he has), but I wouldn’t be surprised if a concussion or even cracked skull shows up later. Somehow I doubt he’s ever gonna succumb to the helmet; either they don’t wear them in Brazil or he knows how good he looks in the hat. You’re playing some mighty scary odds, Guilherme!
• After Party threw Chris Shivers over the front end, who took several big bangs before and after he hung up briefly on the bull’s back. The bull hit Chris’s head so hard, it knocked off his helmet as Chris was heading for the ground. The upshot: Shivers broke his right collarbone, and will be out for 6 weeks, if it’s a clean break. That’s a rotten thing to have happen, especially in his last season. Let’s hope he heals fast.

NOT THE BEST IDEA FOR THE PUBLIC IMAGE

The Built Ford Tough Invasion took Shorty Gorham and Luke Snyder somewhere outside Albuquerque to visit Shorty’s friend G.T. Nunn of Frontier Outfitters, which calls itself a “big game hunting” outfit. In other words, they kill elk, mule deer, antelope, bear, and mountain lion! At least the shooters might eat deer and elk (but I’m pretty sure they mount the heads on their walls), and maybe use the hides to make clothing, which at least some Native Americans might do, but who eats bears? And nobody eats mountain lion.

Of course they justify these joy rides by saying that the local mountain range is home to bighorn sheep, mountain lions are their biggest predator, and this is “population control.” As if mountain lions are overrunning the place! I’d like to see stats showing how outnumbered the sheep are. And BTW, if you’ve seen bighorn sheep up close, they aren’t fluffy little Bo Peep sheep: they’re big, with powerful thick horns, bony-plated skulls to withstand serious hard knocks, and hooves that can kick your ass. Not exactly defenseless sweet little critters who are clueless about mountain lions.

Why are bighorn sheep considered more important than mountain lions? Why aren’t mountain lions allowed to eat? They’re roaming their natural range, consuming their natural prey, and the bighorn sheep don’t belong to ranchers. Who are these guys to interfere? Bears will take care of the mountain lions. It all balances out.

If you kill bears, who’s going to eat the wolves and mountain lions? Whoops, now there’s too many of them because we killed their natural predators, so let’s kill the wolves and mountain lions, who were keeping the deer population under control. Then there are too many deer, so now we have to kill them. Then, since you’ve done “population control” on the deer, the bears are hungry, so they’re heading for garbage cans and breaking into homes. This is what happens when you mess with what is known as the natural order, the food chain—didn’t they teach you that in school?

There are other means of “population control,” such as relocating. Catch the mountain lions and set them loose in remote areas of national parks. You can do that with wolves, too (nobody eats wolves, either), instead of killing them.

The “hunts” use guns and dogs to tree mountain lions (though Luke was the one barking.) Talk about bullies: they corner a beautiful animal, one that also has important spiritual meaning to some Native American nations, and shoot it, even though the mountain lions are unarmed. Seriously, though: how’s that a fair fight?

So now all the people being introduced to bull riding on national TV can associate animal murder with bull riding. Oh, I get it: the PBR is using what they learned in Fallacious Thinking 101 (or would that be, Phallacius Thinking 101?): despite all evidence to the contrary, they still think men are their main audience, and killing animals = manly = bull riding fans.

Now I’ll probably hear from all the hunters out there saying hunting is an all-American sport, what is my problem, they’re exercising their god-given right to carry guns, etc. Lissen: killing and eating is one thing, but just killing? and getting a charge out of it? That is F’d up.

THE UGLY

• “That right there is a microcosm of how Silvano Alves won last year’s World Finals Title,” said Hummer about Alves taming High Octane Hurricane. “Ever notice that Silvano makes all bulls look easy?” said Ty. So that’s why the judges gave him 89.75, instead of the at-least-90 he deserved, for mastering a difficult bull? Another quarter point ding to deny a Brazilian a 90-point ride.
• There was “a clock issue” during Valdiron de Oliveira’s outing on Bad Blake, whom he rode for 12 seconds, and was scored 89.50. “They coulda timed that with a calendar, ‘cause Valdiron coulda rode that bull all day long,” said Ty “He just looks perfect. There was no doubt in the judges’ mind that he dominated…” And yet they still refused to give a Brazilian 90 points.
• In comparison, Luke Snyder’s re-ride, Party All the Time, spun and kicked, but didn’t have high jumps. Luke looked good, and was scored 90─ of course, because that way, he scoots up past the Brazilians to the top of the event standings. This has nothing to do with how good a rider Luke is. It’s prejudice. Is anyone else as pissed off about this shameful crap as I am?

The result: “Here is your winner, Luke Snyder.” Yeah, Craig, if you pretend that Silvano’s and Valdiron’s rides weren’t worth 90 points.

Leah asked Luke what fired up his riding again: “I was gettin’ tired of following…I’m glad to be back in the swing of things.” After the “win,” he happily talked about what he did differently, and came up with a cute, if possibly scripted quote: “What better time to shine?” He then gave the perfect rehearsed speech, hitting all the points a publicist would want him to. No wonder everybody loves Luke.

I’m not dissing Luke; he’s an excellent rider, I like seeing him succeed, but not when it’s artificially induced by the judges.

The event was capped with the usual Hummerblather: “Luke always seems to rise to the occasion.” Not true; it just sounds good to viewers who don’t know any better. We’ve all seen Luke let rides get away from him and be really ticked off at himself.

P.S.: Ty Pozzobon placed 4^th in this event. Keep an eye on him.

The World Standings are now: de Oliveira #1, Mauney #2, Eguche #3, Alves #4, Nunes #5.

Houston 2-25-12 NBC Sports Reliant Stadium

This broadcast was bookended with the hollerin’ hillbilly. Aren’t we lucky to have him ringing in our ears after we turn off the TV?

LIKIN’ IT:

• Cooper Tires Athlete Profile on Ryan Dirteater, showing some rides. The Booth Boys are singing his praises, talking about his dedication, he rides bulls every day, not just every weekend, he’s showing confidence, etc. Tell me something I don’t know! I knew he was a figher even before his last two big injuries, or he woulda quit after the first.
• “Great Out of the Gate Moment” showing childhood photos of Douglas Duncan riding bulls. His father Mike was pulling his rope tonight. Said Dad: “I don’t tell him much, because he rode bulls way better than me, and it’s hard to tell somebody who’s doing what he’s done and accomplished what he’s accomplished…he’s a fine young man.”
• Robson sent in a “What I Did On My Summer Vacation” kind of video of him riding; he’ll be back next week. YEAH, BABY!!

TA-DAA! Bushwacker will be back for the Iron Cowboy event!

HIGHLIGHTS

• Chase Outlaw made his 2^nd qualified BFTS ride, on Hard Times, for 84.75. Leah Garcia asked how this was happening now. “I just relax and have fun. The first couple of events I had some butterflies, but they’re gone now.” Good on ya, Kid With The Koolest Kowboy Name Ever.
• Jory Markiss, with a surprising #8 power rating (maybe that’s for his lungs?) “had an answer for everything,” the Chief Nitwit would say, as Black Attack tried every kooky move, up, down, this side, that side, even hip hop. The 82.50 coulda been more, for the effort he put out, including big ol’ “money chops.” Hummer calls him “Mr. 5-hour Energy;” I call him a little scary. He leaves the dirt screaming “I love the PBR!”
• Renato was Krazy-Glued to Dark Shadow! We got a looong backflip, for a ride worth more than 87. Leah’s question, “How important is it for you to make that ride?” went over his head. (Gotta keep it simple, folks.) He answered with a few random phrases─ “Everything is—I gotta hang out—I feel nervous,” but he’s cute when he laughs.
• Justin Koon made it to 6.74 on Asteroid, slightly more than Stormy Wing, but what, no time for a comment from him, because all eyes are on Darling Douglas Duncan?

CAN’T STAND IT

• “J.B. Mauney is here too, and why wouldn’t he be?”–Hummer.
• The Hummer monologue and his commentary with McBride is so phony; it’s like they’ve been watching sportscasts all week and trying to imitate the big boys.
• Marco took a horn in the face for 87.50 on Trickster, but Hummer, who obviously hasn’t been near a bull, says, “Eguche doesn’t care because he’s got a second score on the board.” Really? How do you know what’s going on inside him? Maybe it hurts.

LOVE IT

• Asked how he was feeling after getting stepped on, Chance Roberts told Leah, “I’m doin’ a lot better. It’s too far from my heart to really hurt me.”

CAN I QUOTE YOU ON THAT?

• “Let’s check in with the dirt.”—Leah, introducing Shorty.
• Tee hee: “He was the hottest young thing that bull riding had ever seen.”—Justin McBride, talking about Chris Shivers.
• After Stormy Wing’s 6 seconds on Asteroid, he was so mad he punched the gate. Leah asked if he’d seen the video of his attempt. “Yeah. I saw it twice. It just pissed me off!” After he’d simmered for a while, he later said, “That’s dinosaur bones.” He hopes he comes up against Asteroid another time. Like most people love a root canal.
• “Yeah, I remember that ride, because I was so scared of that bull, ‘cause he was so mean.”—Justin McBride, talking about a 2001 ride in Houston.
• “You drew tough when you’ve got both of those guys on your bulls.”—McBride saying how contractors must feel when they see de Oliveira and Nunes get on their bulls.

BULL STUFF

• Never heard of Will James, a gorgeous black bull in the championship round. With a big jump and high kick, he blew J.B. off his back, then faced off with Shorty’s gang like a prizefighter. Another Mesa Pate bull. She knows how to pick a winner!
• I rate Shepherd Hills Tested Wow! He kicks his ass off! No wonder he’s unridden.
• T Rex. Another Wow! Likin’ that bull. Sorry about that, Dusty.
• Loose Cannon, Mesa Pate’s bull, dumped Jordan Hupp, then pawed the ground, as Hummer would say, “sending a message” to Shorty Gorham, who was in his eyeline.
• Bubba’s Got Rack─ how hysterical is that name? a prize to whoever came up with it─ does have quite the pair, but Luke Snyder’s “invincible” helmet protected him. After the buckoff, the bull chased Frank Newsom, who sure got more than his share of the action in this event.

RANDOM NONSENSE

• Can’t tell if that’s a “soul patch” growing on Guilherme Marchi’s chin, or a bloody scar.
• Harve Stewart’s looking a little Wolfman-ish with that facial hair riot goin’ on.
• I don’t follow other sports, so I don’t know who John Elway is; he was talking about the guts it takes to get on a bull, and he looks like one of Gary Oldman’s psycho characters.

EEK!

• Shorty said Bonner Bolton’s bull, Play Harder, would go after a rider on the ground, but instead the bull freight-trained Newsom. It looked bad, with Frank bent over in the wings with Bonner by his side. That’s a sight I never thought I’d see.
• Rocky Smooth gave Ryan McConnel a hard landing on the back of his neck. Ryan couldn’t get up for a while, and was escorted out by a medical staff member holding him by the scruff of his waistband. He definitely got his bell rung. Speaking of which, somebody needs to make him stay after school, ‘til he does something about his riding.
• After a hangup on Shepherd Hills Sod Buster, Cody Nance hit the dirt; the bull’s hooves grazed each side of his neck at the base of his skull—where was his Hannibal Lecter outfit?? It was so scary that Justin McBride said he ducked his head down so he wouldn’t have to see it.
• Right out of the chute, Panther’s horn tip hit Cord McCoy’s helmet; without that cage, he would’ve lost an eye.

I’M JUST SAYIN’…A LOT

• For the 1^st time, the PBR is participating in Rodeo Houston. But not Ty Pozzobon. He’s not allowed to; he has to go to Glendale. Their decision, not his. See my Mar. 17 post.
• Onscreen: a list of rider standings, with their countries’ flags next to their names: alternating Americans and Brazilians Folks: this is not a team sport. The more you fabricate a national rivalry storyline, the more you create hostility toward non-Americans and unsportsmanlike conduct from the U.S. judges.
• McKennon Wimberly has started riding. He wants to come back and get on Asteroid. Yeah, there’s a real good idea.
• “Still to come: J.B. Mauney,” says the female voiceover. On one hand, thank the powers that be, she sounds like a normal adult woman. On the other hand, why are they announcing J.B. like a guest star on the Grammys? Do other sports do that in the middle of a game? “Still to come: Chad Ochocinco.” I don’t think so. It’s baffling to me how the PBR tries to make its broadcasts look and sound like major league football, but at the same time does hokey shit like this, which telegraphs loud and clear: “This is just entertainment, not sports.”
• Truth Booth moment: Austin Meier talked about how the Brazilians were all leading last year, and he was the only American in the mix (I kept saying nobody was giving him enough credit for that), “but this year there’s more Americans in there.” Yeah, but there wouldn’t be that many if it weren’t for certain judges who shall remain nameless─ oh wait; they are!
• Hummerblather: “Douglas Duncan, hoping to write the perfect script in his home town…” He doesn’t have to, Craig; the judges will do it for him. Sure enough: Duncan looked beautiful on Hee Bee Gee Bee, but visibly slapped the bull’s left shoulder. Judge #2 took his time weighing in, and of course they scored him─ 90.25, no less. God forbid they DQ the favorite son in front of family and friends. “Sam Houston would be proud,” said the Chief Nitwit. Huh? “Douglas Duncan vaults to the top of the leaderboard. That was his best score of the season.” Yeah, the PBR loves creating fake Hallmark moments. It’s disgraceful.
• “In this sport you don’t get called for a foul because of body contact.”—Hummer, after a promo pushing how tough! dangerous! exciting! bull riding is. Uh, Craig, actually the rules say you DO. If a rider’s free hand or part of his body touches a bull (unless the bull comes up and hits you, e.g., a horn to the face), you’re supposed to be disqualified. But we see so many exceptions to the rule, it’s understandable you’re confused.
• In Atlanta, Eguche rode Trickster for 88.50. Craig said Marco’s been trying to memorize what the bulls do, asking everyone, Brazilian, American, and otherwise about them. Hummer praised him for trying to learn English and making an effort to converse—well, does Eguche really have a choice? They don’t use the translator full-time; if he wants to know what’s going on, especially when the judges are screwing him, he’s got to, quick. And why does everyone expect Brazilians to learn English, but other riders don’t need to learn Portuguese?

SHIVER ME TIMBERS─ EVERYONE DONE LOST THEIR MINDS

We saw a clip of Chris Shivers riding last week, as Hummer yelped, “Chris Shivers is in control of the law on Frontier Fugitive!” “What a Hollywood script ending it was last week, with Chris Shivers winning.” Hollywood script, yeah. Not reality. We should believe Chris has 93 90-point rides, and beat J.B. Mauney in Atlanta? I can’t believe the colossal hypocrisy of the judges; after all the hype and hope the PBR put into J.B., they ding him by a quarter point to pump up the Shivers mythology. If I were J.B., I’d have exploded.

Less than 1/2 hour into the broadcast, Hummer has mentioned Shivers’ “93^rd 90-point rides” 3 times─ i.e., every 8 minutes. Later, in another paean, he’s foaming at the mouth: “Can his fans dare to dream he’ll win back-to-back? Houston is about to get the Shivers experience!” “Ponce de Leon’s got nothing on Chris Shivers.” “Chris Shivers has opened up the floodgates last week to an emotional─” here my ears shut off. Later, more Shivers idolatry: looking at the leaderboard before going to break, Hummer says, “Look who would be facing Asteroid if things stayed the same—Chris Shivers, who would love to add that to his resume.” Oh, really? Has he ever said that? NO. Why is Hummer so corny, overblown, idiotic? Who’s writing his material?? It’s embarrassing! Does he think this nonsense ratchets up the excitement level? He talked again about Shivers while Eguche wrapped on Trickster. What does Chris have to do with Eguche?? It’s just vomitous. Someone has got to tell The Bummer to tone down the crap! He makes the PBR sound ridiculous!

On top of that, Shorty gave the exact speech about Chris I’ve heard at least twice before.

DANG!

I love Motown Magic’s action, but by now, Austin Meier really oughtta be able to ride him.

HOW THE KILLER BEES ROLL

• Ryan Dirteater talked about the Brazilians being hard working, motivated, and wanting it, and that the other riders just had to ride their bulls, do their jobs, and try their hardest. Gv-ge-yu-hi!
• “The Brazilians gonna keep trying win and win, and we gonna try hard.”—Renato, proud to show off his English.
• Silvano on Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Honey, who bucked him off:  “That’s a good bucking bull. I have to congratulate him; I didn’t ride him. I’ll have to get on the next one.”

NITWITTICISMS

• “For defending champion Silvano Alves, riding a bull like that is just like standing on an escalator.” This is The Bummer’s analogy for Silvano’s ride on─ Toronto? Geronimo? Whatever; a bull who hung a horn bigtime on the chute gate.
• As Marco Eguche wrapped on Fire Freak, we got the classic, “He’s wired, so we get a chance to listen in to his preparation….” And as usual, we hear nothing. Hummer finally has a clue: “Looks as though it’s somewhat of a silent time this week in the chutes.” THIS WEEK?? How about all season long and last year?!

HAS ANYBODY NOTICED?

You’ve all heard announcers say some bulls will try to get a rider down on the ground? I’m starting to think it’s the other way round with J.B. At the end of his ride on Early Bird, J.B. scored, and the bull fell down and did a scrabbling move. Then there were the two Train Wrecks… And a couple more grounders here and there. They’re going to have to start saying, “J.B. Mauney will try to get a bull down on the ground.”

BORRRING

For the Ford Invasion, Ross Coleman and Luke Snyder go to the world’s largest barbecue contest. First one of them hammers a big nail, then they eat barbecue.

CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND

OMG, could Hummer look any more Hollywood! Slick hair, spray tan bordering on orange, open collar: the Miami Vice look─ a sad comment on the state of the PBR today.

CHECK OUT CHASE!

Chase Outlaw, 19 years old, in his 3^rd BFTS out, refused to let go of Too Sexy, hung on sideways (shades of J.B./Code Blue!) and scored 82.75 (I think), but took a shot in what looked like a very private place; out of sight of the crowd, he doubled over. Of course a camera had to follow to milk every ounce of the “Get off on the pain!”crap. Later Hummer blathered about Chase having to wait for “the Murderers’ Row” of the 5 top riders to go out: “You gotta think he wants to win this one.” DUH, ya don’t say?? I can’t stand that this idiot says stuff that makes no sense, like “You don’t feel any pain when you’re the Bad Boy Mowers Lead Dog.” Meanwhile Chase is biting his lip, trying not to be doubled over, dripping sweat. We’re later told he “got the wind knocked out of him.” AND CHASE OUTLAW WINS HIS 1^ST BFTS EVENT!

ATLANTA, Georgia Dome – 1st stop on Stadium Tour

Here’s the new format for stadium tours:

The good: 12 chutes, 5 gates, a wide arena. Quicker turnout, better views for all.

The bad: a rider gets only one chance. Ride, you get a draft pick. Don’t ride, you’re done for the weekend. Kinda sucks, for guys who don’t have a lot of money for travel to events.

THE PROLOGUE:

How obnoxious of the Booth Boys, calling it a “two-man race” before the event even started, doing the telestrator comparison with Valdiron de Oliveira and J.B. Mauney. The analysis of the riders’ free arm position was bogus: the still photos catch each of them at just one point; you don’t see the full range of motion. For instance, J.B. doesn’t keep his arm straight up in the air the whole time: when he’s on his game, it’s gliding in an arc, in a consistent rhythm.

Worse: Hummer’s comment in the Championship Round: “But first we have to sit though a number of rides.” Before getting to J.B. and Austin Meier, he meant. Insulting to all the other riders, as if only the top two are worth watching.

Miscellaneous: Jerome Davis’s wife was on duty pulling the flank strap this weekend. I looked up her name, because I can’t stand that one half of a couple has an identity and the other is called a “wife.” Her name is Tiffany.

ROUND 1

Douglas Duncan, who’s 1 for12, got a re-ride option because Black and Decker Orange Crush had no spin and spent his time jumping and running. That’s not always what happens with other riders. His reride: Bad Moon, a good bull, but 88?? Gimme a break!

Mood Swing took care of cutting Rubens Barbosa from the BFTS. He’s run out of exemptions? What does that mean? Can somebody please explain to the viewers?

Jory Markiss wowed the crowd with a front-end ejection from Large Jacket’s back.  J.W. couldn’t help himself: “Why does a guy want to get on a bull?” The Booth Boys joked about Jory’s 5-hour energy. Gotta say, the kid always seems unnaturally jacked up to me.

Ryan Dirteater’s now #3 in the world! Hot and Juicy completely stumbled down under him, and when Ryan was on the ground, a hoof or two hit his leg. “He’s got nerves of steel,” said J.W., after telling us what it’s like to feel a bull falling down, then thinking about what’s going to happen if he falls on you. (That’s how Ryan broke a leg twice.)

Renato Nunes on Walking Tall looked a lot more in control— not as ramshackle as usual, jumped off on his feet, and scored 85.50. I keep forgetting that “Hail Mary” is his style, but this time I knew he wouldn’t fall off. He told Leah it was a little difficult riding with his arm bandaged, but “If I can ride like that, look out guys!” How adorable that he’s picked up colloquial Americanisms already. Wonder how much Portuguese the Americans know?

HIGHLIGHTS

Marco Eguche is unbelievable! Hot Toddy moved fast, up and down, with high kicks, different tricks, different directions. J.W. detailed what Marco handled, calling it an “Excellent, excellent ride.” It shoulda been an 88-point ride, not 86.50. Gee, wonder why…

Not sure if this was in the Championship Round, but…Justin Koon’s 90 (his first ever) on T Rex! Good on ya, kid! Also the first big spit I’ve seen on a BFTS broadcast. “I just had to relax, make like I was at home. I know I can ride bulls. I’ve been kind of disappointed in myself when I’ve been falling off. I just got relaxed, and got out of my head.”

AGHHK

Hummer’s still hammering on his “Valdironinator” thing.

Another quick trip to the dirt: Ryan McConnell’s had 7 events with no score.

BULL STUFF:

In Sacramento, Express beat Jordan Hupp; tonight the bull saved it for the last 2 seconds. If Express woke up sooner, Hupp wouldn’t have that 85.50. J.W.’s right: the bull didn’t have his best day.

Larry the Cable Guy’s Git R Done is 1 for 14. His sidewinder moves, twisting, belly rolling, swapping ends, all added up to one slam-dunk of Caleb Sanderson.

BigTexTrailers.com (Moon) has been ridden only 3 of 23 outs. Luke Snyder looked kinda stunned when he got dumped in 2 seconds.

Back Bender, with 7 straight buckoffs, threw Hupp “far enough that the bullfighters don’t have to worry about doing their work.”

I’M JUST SAYIN’…

Dusty Ephrom drove 28 hours from home to Atlanta. This is why riders need their transportation paid for; how can anyone do his best after that many hours at the wheel?

Off the Hook wore out before Cord McCoy’s ride ended; the bull’s hind legs barely left the ground, and he almost sat down. 86.50 is clearly a “fan-favorite” score; even J.Dub commented on the bull running out of steam. 

Outrageous performance by Come Back─ wiggling in the air, but no spin, so why no re-ride for Harve Stewart? Douglas Duncan got one, for the no-spin thing. What, Harve’s not enough of a bigshot?

Chris Shivers rode Frontier Fugitive for about 12 seconds, for 87.75, and I see no reason why Douglas Duncan was scored higher. The judges weren’t impressed enough? This bull had serious action─ and so did Chris!

Unpredictable was moving like a top, with J.B. waltzing him round and round. The bull traveled halfway across the arena, but apparently there’s no “real estate” issue when it comes to J.B.; they scored him 88.

Lindomar Lino, in his first BFTS event, replaced Mike Lee; Blaine Skaggs also is a BFTS rookie. How were they picked? What about some background info? Can’t they explain these mysterious appearances to us?

JDub claimed that Valdiron picks the easiest bulls he can, so he can score. That’s not real complimentary, dude, nor is it true. How many times have we heard you say Valdiron can ride any kind of bull in any direction?

JUST CURIOUS:

In the montage of Valdiron and J.B. rides, who hugged J.B. after his 92-point ride? The camera sure cut away fast enough.

THE MENTALIST

Hummer announced the video clip of Chad Ochocinco’s attempt to ride Deja Blue Emu: “And now this bull has a chance to send a message to the NFL: we hit harder.” Not only can Craig get inside the riders’ heads, but apparently he also can read a bull’s mind.

FASHION ALERT

Luke Snyder’s new helmet isn’t a full cage; it’s got a shatterproof NASCAR windshield. Freakiest helmet/mask combo I’ve seen yet…and that’s saying something, considering Cody Nance’s Hannibal Lecter mask!

RIGHT ON, AUSTIN! SORT OF.

“Most of the American fans don’t like the Brazilians. I say, ‘Know me first’…they have a camaraderie you don’t see as thick in the Americans. When you got that many guys yelling in your ear, pumping you up, there’s no way you wanna fall off.”

I don’t think it’s the fans who don’t like the Brazilians, Austin─ it’s the judges.

Fabiano Vieira was out of U.S. action dealing with visa issues, but rode 11 of 11 bulls in Brazil. JDub predicts that in 10 events, Vieira will be in the  top 7; last year he was in the top 10 and he’d been on the BFTS for about 15 minutes. 80.25 for his ride on Southern Renegade sucks.

Pale Face did his best to get rid of Alves and failed, but Silvano got handed only 83.50─ another cheap score.

De Oliveira got stepped on in Oklahoma; his leg’s bruised front to back, he has the flu; he said he’s not up to speed. But he rode─ for 10 seconds. “He just outmuscles Monsoon,” was the verdict. 84.75? Now that’s prejudiced scoring. After the ride, Leah commented that he might not be strong in body, but he must be strong in mind. Valdiron was so out of breath he could hardly string a sentence together. Finally he got out, “I can’t talk now.”

Juicy Fruit’s been ridden 12 of 16 times. That’s just a bucking machine, not a thinking bull. Why should Stormy Wing’s ride be scored 85, higher than Valdiron’s? Oh, wait─ that’s one of those quarter-point dings against a Brazilian.

Silvano challenged just in case They said he didn’t make 8 on Sancho (the one with the uphill back). “It said 8 seconds on the clock overhead; I don’t know what he’s challenging,” JDub said. At 7.99 Alves was off the bull, but seemed to still have the rope at 8. Betcha someone else whose name we won’t mention woulda been scored.

Guilherme Marchi took on an awkward little bull, so far ridden only by Brazilians, and didn’t look good. He seemed to have made 8, but the ride was reviewed. Craig says a review has to be conclusive for scoring. Apparently that’s news to the judges, who apply the rule selectively. I’ve seen riders scored when a replay was inconclusive. The judges reviewed the ride from only one angle, and said he lost the rope at 7.98. You know what I’m gonna say: Shivers, Mauney, or Snyder woulda gotten a high score. Marchi, as usual, was gracious about being shafted: “I can’t believe it. That’s the longest 8 seconds I have in my life. But that’s part of the sport.”

LOVE IT

A shot of Douglas Duncan blowing a bubblegum bubble.

Silvano Alves is now starting to interpret for Fabiano. “It’s like a pecking order of the language barrier,” said Leah.

Lately the Ford Invasion has made useful trips: this time, to the Atlanta Aquarium, bringing in 2000 lbs. of recycled sea salt to throw in with the sharks. The aquarium boss showed the team how to unload the huge bag into the tank, warning them not to get smushed between the manhole and the ton of crushed salt. “Good thing we’re both used to getting crushed by 2000-pound things,” was Shorty’s line. (P.S.—This is the only place in the world that has 4 whale sharks! I mean, indoors.)

WELCOME TO THE PBR, SIR

was Hummer’s comment when Cracker Jack quickly dumped Lindomar Lino. (You’ve now got 12 points on the credit side of the ledger, Hummer.) He could’ve said the same to Blaine Skaggs, who made it more than halfway through 8 on Full Force, then came down in front, took a shot here and there, and looked a little shook up.

THE CHRIS SHIVERS SPECIAL:

Comments on his upcoming retirement:

Chris: “It’s kind of a relief…I feel good knowing that everybody knows about it before the end of the year.”

Mike White, traveling partner and World Champion, who retired a while ago: “Well it’s about time, ‘cause he’s gettin’ a little long in the tooth an’ a little chubby around the belt line.” (“What are good friends for?” J.Dub cracked when he heard that.)

J.B. Mauney: “Chris is probably the best bull rider in the world.”

MOST ACCIDENTS HAPPEN WITHIN 10 MILES OF THE HOME

Leah asked J.B. how he’s doing with his injury; of course he said, “I’m fine; my toe is broke, that’s about it.” How did it happen? “Bull stepped on it the other day, working around the house.” Yeah; that kinda household accident happens all the time.

TEE HEE

“This is a bull that usually has his way with left-handed riders.” What Hummer meant was that Cody Nance’s attempt on Deja Blue Emu was over quickly.

CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND

HIGHLIGHTS:

Jack Daniel’s After Party is unridden this season, but Ryan Dirteater was glued to that bull; they looked like they were one piece, he matched moves so well. 88.25─ yeah!

Trickster was one of the smallest bulls in the championship round pen, and for a moment or two, it looked like Marco Eguche might not make 8, but he handled every drop and kick that bull had, including a hard landing, for 88.50.

MIXED BLESSINGS:

Three times it was unreal that Austin Meier stayed on Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Honey, he was so out of position, but he defied gravity, and scored 88.25─ despite the touch that JDub (and us TV viewers) spotted and the judges didn’t. Or maybe they did.

Stormy Wing picked Asteroid. (Is he out of his gourd?) Meanwhile, J.B. did the uncharacteristically sensible thing and picked RMEF Gunpowder & Lead, going for points.

BIG OL’ DANG!

Kody Lostroh and Shepherd Hills Trapper─ good matchup! But the bull’s front end stumbled down, his head smacked the chute, then the ground as he turned out of the gate. Kody challenged, but judges said no foul, no re-ride. I say it was a foul.     

NITWITTICISMS─ WHERE WOULD WE BE WITHOUT THEM?

“Both of them looking for a win here in Atlanta,” Hummer declared about Mauney and Austin. Whereas the other guys aren’t.

ON THE OTHER HAND, CAN I QUOTE YOU ON THAT?

“If you’re a stock contractor and you could send your bull a message, it would be, Don’t turn into Valdiron’s hand halfway through the ride!”—Craig Hummer.

Nunes was matched with Highway 12, who’s 1 for 15. “I’m going to pick Renato,” Shorty declared─ just as Renato’s bandaged riding arm popped out of the rope, “or maybe not.”

“Man I used to could do it, then I kinda sucked the last coupla years.” ─Chris Shivers, who spent time looking at some of his old rides on YouTube.

“Chris Shivers turns back Father Time and wins for the first time this year,” said Hummer. “Could not have written a better script for himself.” Uh, it’s the PBR and the judges who scripted it, pal.

STORMY’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE IN OUTER SPACE

JDub: “He does have his work cut out for him. It’s gonna be a long day at the office. If he doesn’t get out clean, this bull will just rip him out of there like— like I don’t know what [‘cause you’re not Justin McKee, who would’ve come up with something on the spot]; like a slingshot.” Stormy made it longer than anyone else so far: 6.11 seconds. Asteroid’s score was 46.50. I’m just in awe of that animal.

Leah asked Stormy if he had any sense of satisfaction, knowing how long he stayed on the bull. With no grace at all, he said, “No ma’am. He won. I don’t like to lose. Never have accepted it, never will.” He actually had an attitude about it. Gimme a break, Stormy— you stayed on longer than J.B. did. Ya can’t take even a little bow? Leah gracefully covered for his obnoxious comment: “Spoken like a true athlete,” then tossed the ball back to Craig.

I’M JUST SAYIN’…

Hummer says “there have been issues with the clock.” Whatta surprise─ and how unprofessional is it that there are “issues” with the clock? What about having a backup clock (or two)? You know, like rock bands carry extra leads and drum sticks?

One ad talked about the PBR “heading west to …where J.B. Mauney and the top cowboys battle the rankest bulls…” What, J.B. gets billing above the title now?

What’s next: “co-starring Ryan Dirteater and the Brazilians”?

Were we at all surprised that Shivers got another 90-point score, for his trip on Delco? J.W. was chuckling. “His 93^rd,” according to the chief B.S.’er. So now he’s the leader. You’ve really bought into that storyline, huh, boys? Guess now you’re shooting for 100.

J.B. Mauney turned out a 13-second ride on RMEF Gunpowder & Lead and they gave him 89.50, because he would’ve won with a 90. They screwed him with one little quarter point so Shivers would win. The bull goofed himself up a little when he hit his head against the gate, but that’s no reason to penalize J.B. This is just disgusting, the way the PBR is fixing scores and now events to put Shivers on a higher and higher pedestal. (I’m even wondering if they slipped J.B. a backhander to sweeten the sting.) In reality, Chris didn’t win this event, he tied with J.B.

TY POZZOBON ORDERED TO COMPETE IN GLENDALE & GIVE UP CHANCE AT $50,000 HOUSTON RODEO FINALS

READ THIS AND TELL ME YOU DON’T THINK THE RIDERS NEED A UNION:

CANADIAN BULL RIDER DISAPPOINTED

By Dwayne Erickson, Calgary Herald

Ty Pozzobon had a free pass to Saturday’s championship round of the bull riding at the $2-million Houston Rodeo and a shot at a $50,000 payday.

But the 2010 Canadian rodeo rookie of the year, from Merritt, B.C., was told he couldn’t be there. The Professional Bull Riders outfit, which sanctions Houston, told Pozzobon he had to compete at its Ford Series event at Glendale, Ariz., that night. As a result, he was forced to turn out of the Houston semifinals Thursday night.

“I’m disappointed,” he said. “In fact, I’m sick to my stomach.”

Even if Pozzobon didn’t ride his bull Thursday, he still would have advanced to the final-day showdown for the big money. The top four scores in each of the two semifinals advance. But only two guys rode their bulls. The other two spots went to the leading money winners from the rodeo’s five opening elimination series.

Pozzobon would have been one of those; he won $7,500, more money than any other semifinal qualifier.

© Copyright (c) The Calgary Herald

TOO FUNNY TO PASS UP! LOOKS LIKE THE PBR GOT OFF EASY

Epic Poker Bankruptcy Leaves Mountain of Debt

Heartland Poker Tour Assets Locked up in Court Case

by Justin Marchand  |  Published: Mar 15, 2012  |   E-mail Author

On Feb. 28, the Epic Poker League shut its doors, filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

Announcing the bankruptcy, Federated Sports and Gaming, Epic Poker’s parent company, Executive Chairman Jeffrey Pollack said via a statement on the company website: “Our company needs a new start. This reorganization filing is an important first step in that direction.”

However, Pollack’s optimism could be short lived, considering court filings show that Federated Sports and Gaming has racked up sizable debt in its short existence and, to date, reorganization plans have been rejected by the bankruptcy court.

Epic Poker ran just three poker tournaments, adding $400,000 to each prize pool and paying for TV time buys for the programming. It cancelled its fourth tournament, along with a fifth, which promised a $1 million freeroll for the league’s top 27 performers in the inaugural season.

Bankruptcy filings show more than 100 creditors are owed, in total, more than $5 million.

Federated Sports and Gaming had, at the time of the filing, only $15,000 in cash.

The majority of Federated’s debt is owed to two companies; $2 million to Las Vegas-based regional casino operator Pinnacle Entertainment (PNK. NYSE) and more than $2 million to All In Production, the Fargo, N.D., company that agreed to sell Federated its Heartland Poker Tour last year.

Some of the significant creditors include television production company 411 Productions, $541,373, lawfirm Kirkland & Ellis, $250,000, public relations giant Rogers and Cowan, $71,391 and Savage Tournaments, $33,333. A number of Federated employees, smaller poker support companies, independent contractors and even the charitable Disabled American Veterans are listed as creditors.

Federated’s bankruptcy is actually for two entities; Federated Sports and Gaming, the company that operates the Epic Poker tour, and a subsidiary company, Federated Heartland, that operates the Heartland Poker Tour per a acquisition mired in non-payment.

Documents Show Large Loans, Unpaid Acquisitions

Court documents show that Federated Sports and Gaming burned through cash at such accelerated levels that it did not even make its first payment when acquiring its largest and only profitable asset, the Heartland Poker Tour.

Heartland Poker Tour, acquired by Federated on June 10, 2011, hosts poker tournaments in 15 states. The company got its start in 2005 and recently held its 100th casino event. Its poker programming is broadcasted in syndication to more than 100 million U.S. homes each week.

Court documents show that Federated was obligated to pay All In Productions $2.95 million to complete the acquisition of the Heartland Poker Tour.

Federated failed to make even make its first payment related to the acquisition.

On Oct. 24, All In Productions filed a complaint against Federated for failing to make the first payment of $1 million due by Sept. 30, 2011.

Federated, per the original deal terms, was to have the entire Heartland purchase paid by Dec. 15, 2011. According to court documents, it paid nothing by that date.

Instead, Federated Sports and Gaming borrowed more money.

Court documents show the company borrowed $2 million from Pinnacle Entertainment via a Secured Promissory Note dated January 9, 2012.

According to court documents, “$1,000,000 of the funds Pinnacle advanced were utilized by the Debtors to pay down a creditor of Federated Heartland, All In Production, LLC, by $1,000,000.”

After Heartland received this payment, according to court documents, it extended the date its remaining debt from Federated was owed, over $2 million, until Mar. 31, 2012.

The $2 million was due back to Pinnacle on Feb. 29, 2012, the maturity date on the Promissory Note.

Federated Sports and Gaming filed for bankruptcy Feb. 28, 2012, the day before Pinnacle’s money was due, preventing All In Productions from taking back control of Heartland Poker Tour’s assets.

Still Trying to Spend Big After Bankruptcy

Court filings show that Federated Sports and Gaming budgets are still bloated in bankruptcy.

A budget submitted by Federated Sports and Gaming to the bankruptcy court proposed that executives use cash collateral from Heartland Poker Tour operations to spend $458,092 in Federated salaries for three months, March 2012 through May 2012.

In other words, while Federated Sports and Gaming had no tournaments scheduled to run during these three months, they attempted to use revenue from a company they acquired, but hadn’t fully paid for, to support lavish Federated executive paychecks.

Unsurprisingly, All In Productions contested this filing and, subsequently, the bankruptcy court approved a significantly reduced budget.

The court agreed with All In Productions petition filed in March 2012 that Federated Sports and Gaming “has little cash, generates no receivables and intends to use Federal Heartland’s cash and the receivables generated by Federated Heartland to fund its business operations.”

Around the same time, Federated Heartland filed an Emergency Motion because employees of the Heartland Poker Tour did not get paid in late February. This money, totaling $42,898.70 for unpaid wages, event labor and expense, was requested during a time when Heartland Poker Tour was executing its 100th live poker tournament.

Federated Heartland, in an attempt to keep its tour operational, submitted a plan to the court showing it needed only $113,493 for March 2012 operations.

Surprisingly, Heartland’s entire monthly operational budget, which included salaries, television production and event set up, was lower than the rejected March 2012 salary and wages request, which would have funded Federated Executive paychecks, of $170,611 that Federated submitted to the bankruptcy judge.

Heartland Poker Tour representatives declined to comment, given the matters of the bankruptcy court.

Blame and Board of Directors Shake Up

As bankruptcy filings details have emerged, some critics have blamed Federated Sports and Gaming’s fall on Jeffery Pollack.

In 2005, Pollack was hired by Harrah’s Casino as its Vice President of Marketing and, in that role, he headed the 2005 World Series of Poker. In 2006, he became the Commissioner of the World Series, a post he held until in 2009. He then was hired as executive chairman of the Professional Bull Riders, a post held for about a year. He then went on to form Federated Sports and Gaming with Annie Duke, who served as Executive Vice President and League Commissioner.

“The truth is, he’s (Pollack) been running a bluff on many in the poker community for a long time,” Daniel Negreanu stated in a video blog. “He was booted from the WSOP [as commissioner] but saw a day when legalized online poker was coming and thought he could get his hand in the cookie jar at the absolute right time. He thought, throw together and create a brand and hope to hit a big score. Under this strategy, you just don’t care about having a sustainable business plan.”

It’s been reported the Pollack has used his past poker connections to secure financing for Federated Sports and Gaming. Reports have surfaced that Pinnacle employs a number of ex-Harrah’s executives that Pollack formerly worked with at the World Series of Poker.

“The concept of the pro poker league was a good idea and an idea that could have worked,” said a creditor who spoke to Card Player on a condition of anonymity. “But Epic should have done it on beer budget and, instead, tried to do it on a Dom Perignon budget.”

While bankruptcy documents show Federated Sports and Gaming owing more than $5 million, that number does not include an initial round of private financing that has long since been spent.

According to Chicago Business website, J.B. Pritzker, principal owner of Hyatt Hotels Corporation and TransUnion Corporation, was part of an initial investment group that provided Federated Sports with an initial infusion of $2.5 million in private-equity financing.

 

At one point, J.B. Pritzker was listed as Director, Board of Directors on Federated Sports + Gaming’s website but it appears he has resigned as his biography has since been removed from the public site.

Countryline LLC, a private equity firm held by parent company The Pritzker Group, is listed as Federated Sports and Gaming largest Debtor’s equity security holder in bankruptcy filings, holding more than 42 percent of Federated Sports and Gaming Debtor equity.

Pritzker was an investor in YouBet, a company former Federated Co-Chief Executive Michael Brodsky ran as Executive Chairman. Brodsky also formerly acted as Managing Partner for the investment arm of Pritzker’s New World Opportunity Partners. Brodsky has also since been removed from Federated Sports and Gaming’s public website.

Court records show that there will be follow up hearings and motions scheduled for later this month.

OKLAHOMA CITY – Feb. 11-12, 2012

Whaddaya know? I forgot Oklahoma City. At this point, I don’t know which broadcast was which night, so once again, Bull Riding Gumbo.

I saw J.W. Hart by the chutes—why did we get stuck with less-than-scintillating Justin McBride?…not to mention that carney huckster at the top of the show. So, is this the deal: NBC Sports makes the PBR move the hideous song to the back end of the broadcast, but CBS Sports doesn’t care when the heck they play it? I’m with NBC Sports on this one. That song gives the worst impression of the sport; the lyrics make it sound like bull riders are masochistic losers.

Cord McCoy’s impressive 87.50 ride on Ragin JT makes him “Bad Boy Mowers Lead Dog.” Oh, great, they sneaked in “Mowers”─ totally cheesed up the Lead Dog tag. How embarrassing! Leah Garcia interviewed Cord; our favorite chatterbox can’t say why he’s doing much better this season.

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST: Paolo Lima was cut last weekend. Elliott Jacoby is out—for now.

ON THE OTHER HAND: Bonner Bolton was a late replacement for Fabiano Vieira. It’s good to see a new face once in a while.

I DID NOT KNOW THAT: Oklahoma is “the bull mecca” of the world, according to Justin McBride.

SIGH OF RELIEF: Okay, at least this female voiceover doesn’t sound like a porno hotline.

LOVE IT:

• Bulls walking the red carpet, like real stars! Where’s Joan Rivers?
• Dr. Tandy Freeman won the Lane Frost Award. He’s so not a media hog, it’s a pleasure to listen to him. Clyde & Elsie Frost are at the event, and Freeman automatically shifts the spotlight off himself and onto other people. “He has seen champions come and go, and he has kept champions going for decades.”—Gotta tip my hat (briefly) to Hummer for that one. Well, someone else probably wrote it, but he delivered it.
• Cool NCAA commercial showing athletes of both genders multitasking, making the point that most of them will go pro in an area other than sports: music, science, etc.
• Jory Markiss slapped Black Pearl, but kept riding. He’s so pumped up, it’s hilarious. Can you imagine if he won the event? Nice green shirt, BTW.
• Hysterical: L.J. Jenkins and Chad Berger, trying to get Yellow Jacket Jr. to straighten up in the chute, telling him to move by yelling “Junior! Junior!” to get his attention. Do bulls really respond to their names?
• Bad Moon was bucking in the chute, and the guys trying to help were getting annoying; Chris Shivers had to tell one of the fussing chute people to “chill out.” Well said!
• Luke Snyder is so gosh dang happy these days, betcha he does great in the Finals.
• This week’s Ford Invasion took the Okies to a Habitat for Humanity building site, where they talked with Ann Felton, Habitat’s CEO. Colby Yates and Luke Snyder stayed warm in the truck for their part of the lumber hauling, “and since it’s so cold outside, we’re gonna let Austin Meier and Ryan Dirteater do the work by hand. They’re younger than us,” says Luke.

HATE IT:

• Silvano “Moneyball” Alves?? Another “nickname” that’s not gonna stick, Hummer.
• What a disturbing segue: from fierce Grandma giving J.B. shit at the chute, to the boob-y Mowah Ho who can’t make even two lines sound real. The shocking contrast literally gave me the willies; I couldn’t help the “arrgghh!” that came outta my mouth.
• Commercials for the History Channel jousting program…which I’m fairly sure will be a big fat flop. Hummer ramming home the “No pain, no gain” cliché. What gain? Does jousting have a quarter mill first prize?

HIGHLIGHTS

• Kody Lostroh rode a merry-go-round named Eye Candy, took some lumps, smacked his head on the bull’s skull, took another hit, landed on his head (yay for helmets)─ then the merry-go-round chased him, tossed him skyward by his skinny little butt— and kept chasing him. Kody crawled at top speed and high-tailed it out of there─ all for 84.75. Said McBride, “I’d have started diggin’ a hole right there. And when Shorty said it’s all right, he’s outta there, I wouldn’t’ve believed him; I woulda kept running ‘til I was in the locker room!”
• Woo-hoo!! Highlight reel: Snyder’s 89.75 on Hee Bee Gee Bee.
• Rubens Barbosa, Brazil’s Iron Cowboy, was here because Kody’s resulting concussion kept him out. He rode Priceless for 87.50─ damn well deserved for that effort; he really muscled his way through. (In the Finals, he rode him for 92.50).
• Wow! A whole 8 seconds of non-jibberjabber while Elton Cide rode April Fools, definitely in control, for 85.25. (The other quiet 8 was during a J.B. ride.) If they didn’t shown the score onscreen, we never would’ve known it, thanks to the Bummer keeping his mouth shut the one time he should’ve used it. Sigh.
• Last year in New York, Valdiron rode Mellow Yellow Jacket for 91.50 (I was there screaming my head off.) This time, 88— because he made it look easy, though he was hobbling in pain.
• Ryan Dirteater paired with Too Sexy for 90.75 and a standing O. His free arm matched the bull’s moves precisely. Ryan’s smokin’: 2^nd place in Baltimore, second place in Oklahoma City.

MIGHT AS WELL MAKE IT THE MAUNEY REPORT:

“My goal for this season, for one, is to shut J.W. Hart up…He said the other day I was on the backstretch of a good career…. I plan on trying to prove him wrong this year. I’m planning on showing him I’m not done any time yet.” “I’ve been there quite a few times, #1, and can’t never seem to keep a hold of it.”

• So much for all the hot air from the Booth Boys about J.B. being quick in the chute: while he wrapped on Caddy Shack, they had enough time for a point-by-point comparison with McBride’s stats, then a buncha blabbin’─ and then unfortunately he got bucked off in 4 seconds. I don’t know how he got into that position, bent over sideways and backwards, then flipped upside down, landing on the back of his neck. Yay for the reflexes: he put his hands on the ground to absorb the impact.
• As an actress, I can tell you J.B.’s been coached very well on his close-ups: tilt head slowly up so the light slowly reveals it, when your face is in full light, smile, real slow, not the whole way, so the dimples break, then give the camera the cute Bad Boy look.
• He’s got a sprained wrist and a strained back from last night, but was kicking around a soccer ball in the locker room. J.B. told Leah that as long as he doesn’t bend over, he’s all right. Um, how’re you not gonna bend over while you’re riding a bull?
• The arm is back! He’s remembering the rhythm! Got stuck on there way too long, though. It’s supposed to be 8 seconds, not 16—whaddarya, showin’ off for extra points? 87 was the score.
• Great pairing with Smack Down: 92.25 for a great-looking ride on a great bull. That hind end whips around fast and strong (the bull’s, not J.B.’s). He couldn’t stop smiling (J.B., not the bull), and boy, was he pumped up. In his post-ride interview he told Leah, “I just kept going and knew to keep my hand shut.” FINALLY!
• Last time he was #1 was Fresno, 2010; now he’s ahead of Valdiron by a close shave (which I wish he’d do).
• Said Shorty: “He’s using the most extreme upper part of his body— that’s his brain.”

LET ‘ER RIP

If this wasn’t my own blog, I’d get kicked off for the language I’m gonna use. So I’ll pretend to tone it down.

• Hey, NBC Sports: About your bleeping promo video showing all kinds of young kids playing sports, accompanied by a maudlin voiceover (“we are the next ones”), then showing them as adults─ all kinds of athletes, in all kinds of sports, winning, hoisting trophies, cheering─ they’re all MALE. Get your heads out of your bleepin’ a**es, NBC!! It is BLEEPing INSULTING AND ENRAGING that you completely excluded females from your portrayal of sports. FEMALE ATHLETES EXIST. GET OVER YOUR STUPID BLEEPING MALE BASTION MENTALITY.
• And hey, fools at Bass Pro: It’s either men’s and women’s shoes OR gentlemen’s and ladies shoes, but it is NOT men and ladies. The word is WOMEN. Say it with me: W-O-M-E-N. It means adult female human. Equal to the adult male human. Get your BLEEPing advertising agency into the 20^th century. Then maybe in another century you can bring them into the 21^st.
• And WHY is the PBR hyping that BLEEPing jousting thing? The more the PBR associates itself with jousting, the less seriously new audiences will take bull riding.

GAG ME

• Stupid nattering between Hummer and McBride about Guilherme Marchi: “Do you think he has another gold buckle in him?” The boys are imitating what the big boys on the football broadcasts do─ except for the part of the job that requires telling the viewers the names of the players and the scores.

NITWITTICISMS: A SIX-PACK

• Ryan Dirteater rode Say When for 85.50. “It looks like Dirteater brought some pixie dust!” yelps Hummer. Huh?? Are you calling him Tinkerbell?
• Ryan McConnel “never misses an opportunity to get a score on the board.” I dunno, Craig; lately it looks like Ryan’s turning down those opportunities! Guess the fancy flaming chaps didn’t help. Dr. Feel Good didn’t like them, either—once he got Ryan down, he went to batting at his butt.
• “VDO’s new attitude is…” ─another Hummer-Inside-the-Head moment. I’m surprised Valdiron doesn’t have a migraine by now.
• “Double Clutch doesn’t need to fire both cylinders.” Apparently Craig is motor-challenged. Does he have any idea he makes no sense?
• “In the past I’ve called him the Valdironinator.” Him and nobody else. I wish it would stay in the past.
• “This is one man looking for his second score of the weekend…his sole purpose is to ride a bull, he doesn’t care if it’s high or low 80s, they all add up. “ Another profound load of bull “atmosphere.”

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN─ COWBOY SPITS!

Dusty Ephrom came off Bad Blake pretty fast, and boy, he was pissed. First time I saw a rider spit on camera─ usually they avoid showing riders as anything but squeaky clean wholesome good boys.

CAN I QUOTE YOU ON THAT?

• Chase Outlaw: “You gotta be able to talk to the cameras and act like you own the place.” Yeah, baby!
• “Even I can understand it,” said McBride about the new event format. “Bull riding made even simpler.”
• “In those bonus rounds, when they run the big, scary bulls in, they don’t scare Austin Meier.”—McBride.
• What Renato Did On His Summer Vacation: “I lay down and I napped, and then I would get up and eat, and then I would lay down and nap some more.”
• Asked what he’s doing differently that’s helping him make rides, Harve Stewart said (take note, Ben): “I just kinda quit thinkin’ about it.” (PS: You’re too cute to be hirsute— shave, Harve!)
• Kody Lostroh, talking about what happened during his last buckoff: “I shoulda just stomped a hole in that bull… I guess I shoulda listened to Dr. Tandy Freeman.” (He asked Freeman whether he should ride after last night’s concussion.) “He left the choice up to me. It’s amazing how these doctors know what they’re talking about.” Kody sounded the way I did after a car accident concussion: slow and slurry.

BOO-BOO REPORT

• Arrgghh! At 7.53, Marco Eguche’s face hit Meat Hook’s horn; then on the ground, the bull took a shot at his head─ and this guy doesn’t wear a helmet.
• Reese Cates had surgery for a broken jaw; he’ll return for Atlanta.
• Shane Proctor will be back in Detroit.
• Skeeter Kingsolver will be coming back, when?

A MEIER MOMENT

• “If you don’t have any confidence in yourself when you get on a bull, unless you fall into some dumb luck, you’re not going to have a good day at the office.”
• “If you’re gonna be a bear, be a grizzly.”

YIKES!

• Renato Nunes’s Hail Mary style gives me agita. Orangutan has a wicked whip to his upper body, and at one point Renato’s head was almost touching the bull’s rib. Maybe using the same bull rope he used when he won the Finals helped Nunes to the 83.75. Play Harder, giving him hell in the chute, is a mean bull with an attitude, says Shorty, and I agree, Renato “goes right out there to the edge.” He is a wild thing—I swear he was gonna fly off at least 3 times, but he scored 87.25.
• Scary moment when Dirteater’s big hunk o’ bull, Whiskey’s Rebel, fell down and slid on his side. Ryan’s been on the receiving end of so many horrific injuries, he’s developed lightning reflexes; he got out of a potential hang-up and away from the bull instantly. I was SO disappointed his re-ride was over in a flash.
• De Oliveira had a great ride on Red Hot, but a crash landing against the gate and on his hip; he looked a mess. 82.50 was a disgusting score for that ride; he was so masterful, the bull almost gave up. Later we get a shot of his gashed forearm, but he’s smiling. That’s how you know they’re all crazy.

I’M JUST SAYIN’…

• My first impression: 12 qualified rides on the first day. All Oklahomans? Is this gonna be like when the New Mexicans “won” in New Mexico last year?
• MacNett’s Southern Wine was leaning on Valdiron’s leg in the chute; they needed the 4 x 4 to get him to stop leaning, yet the blanketyblank at the gate was yelling, “Let’s go, Valdiron, Let’s go!” I’m effin’ sick of guys yelling at him to get out— the prejudice is so obvious. No other rider gets harassed like that. Nobody bugged Cord McCoy to hurry up and get out on Black Attack. (Valdiron still managed to score an 86.)
• McBride had a real insulting take on Alves, saying that he’s counting on rank bulls bucking off guys like Austin. Just because Alves proved himself mortal lately is no reason to make it sound like he’s lost his riding ability and hopes to win through someone else’s bad luck. Justin probably wasn’t trying to be bitchy, but he coulda thought before he spoke. Wait a minute; what am I saying? He’s been within spitting distance of Hummer for months; some of the stupid must’ve leaked onto him.
• “Silvano Alves has the best riding percentage of anyone, so how in the world is he ranked #10? It’s all part of his moneyball approach.”—The Bummer. He thinks this blanketyblank nickname is gonna stick, just ‘cause it’s easier to say than “The Valdironinator.” Hummer’s now presuming to know Silvano’s “philosophy.” Quote: “He loves to listen to us and to hear what we have to say week in and week out, and his response to us is, I’ll talk to you in October.”  Here’s where you’re hallucinating, Craig: Silvano doesn’t know that much English; he doesn’t understand half of what you’re babbling about. I have no trouble believing the second half of that statement, though.
• Chris Shivers distinctly touched Bad Moon before he reached for the rope, but maybe that was after the buzzer. I hope. Because 88.75 just wouldn’t be right if it he did.

CHRIS SHIVERS AND THE MYSTERIOUS MISSING RIDES

The Hollywood story line: Before the Hogwarts wizards waved their magic wands, Chris had 87 90-point rides. Suddenly the Magic Mirror realized that 5 Mossy Oak rides weren’t counted (shoot-out and bonus rides). They were hidden in the Secret Chamber. I mean the archives. So now Shivers has flown past the 90-rides-for-90 points milestone, making him the rider with more than any of them in the history of Quidditch. I mean bull riding. So, how did it happen that 5 rides “weren’t counted”? Did the Dementors make them vanish? When were those rides? Where? Did other people have rides that weren’t counted? What sent someone into the vault to search in the first place? Seems like they decided in advance what to find.

Leah Garcia asked Chris what he thought about being given those 5 “missing” rides. He was pretty lowkey about it: “Heck, I coulda quit two years ago if they told me in 2010…I used to want to be 90 every time I got on; now I just want to make the whistle. I think they maybe owe me a little extra money.” I’m just thinkin’, though, that if you subtracted the rides where the judges ignored highly visible slaps and scored him—high, no less– he still wouldn’t have 90.

Back in reality, Party All the Time yanked Chris to the outside, where unfortunately his sprained left (riding) wrist was a liability. That bull had some whippin’ rear end; his effort keeps him 1 for 11. “Arrghh!” was Shivers’s off-stage comment. Couldn’ta said it better.

BULL STUFF

• Cody Ohl’s bulls rock!
• Clapp R351. Gee, there’s an inspiring name for a bull.
• The King is a wild bull in the chute, even with his head in a rope. And once he was out, there was no way L.J. Jenkins was “knocking it out of the park,” as Shorty predicted.
• Shepherd Hills Sod Buster pulled a sneaky move no one could’ve foreseen: a little switcheroo stutter when he seemed about to change direction─ bye-bye, Cody Nance.
• Motown Magic’s no spring chicken, but I love that bull’s wild action—wigglin’ in the air.
• White Velvet is so not smooth as velvet; has a lot of drop and kept swinging himself around even after the ride.
• Jack Daniels After Party shot out of the gate like a bolt of lightning, turned back, and got Rubens Barbosa down immediately. This is also the bull that dumped Alves twice.
• Excellent distraction technique applied to Dark Alley by Shorty Gorham, while Aaron Roy scrammed out of the way up onto the fence. After Shorty annoyed the bull, it went after Frank Newsom and knocked him down. Made the same sound as when a bull crashes into the fence, but didn’t make a dent. Frank Newsom is the real Iron Cowboy.
• Train Wreck has “a bit of a hair-trigger getting out of the gate”? Sheesh, Shorty! That thing’s more like a grenade.
• Perfect Poison is now 4 for 22 on the BFTS. Poor Luke– the bull turned back in the gate and it was all over quickly. That face mask took a good smack; it would’ve been horrible without one.

THE RE-RIDE RULES

Coming out awkwardly, Sancho hooked a horn, twisted his head and neck, but there was no re-ride for Cody Campbell. Maybe they oughtta revisit the re-ride rules. If hooking a horn throws a bull off balance and interferes with his chute exit, or if he crashes into something while bucking, or falls to his knees, even if supposedly his momentum didn’t stop, those things screw up the ride. That lowers a rider’s score no matter how well he rides, because the bull’s score is lowered. How about (I’m talking heresy here) completely separating rider and bull scores, so a rider can still score 88 for doing a good job even if the bull screws up? Lower the bull’s score, not the rider’s. It’s not like they’re a team; they’re actually opponents, so why are their scores lumped together?

Examples: Pure Smoke was bucking in the chute and climbing up over the rail; Cody Nance had to hold Renato Nunes back from being thrown against the front of the chute. During the ride, the bull stumbled, skidded, and broke his motion─ I think that should be a re-ride, I don’t care if the momentum didn’t stop─ a bull shouldn’t have to come to a dead stop for a reride to be declared. But no, it was counted as a buckoff. When Snyder tried the bull, its first jump was in the chute; it was a bad out, Luke asked for a re-ride, but nooo….

OY!

Talking about Cord McCoy, Hummer again brought up that “chess-sheer grin” business. You know, I read Alice in Wonderland when I was probably 7, and I knew how to pronounce it right.

BULL RIDERS BUSTIN’ MOVES

• Cody Campbell doing a backflip off Betta Watch It’s backside.
• Elton Cide used Cool McCool’s bum to hand-spring out the back door, landing on his feet, for 84.50.

HUH?

• “The plot thickens for Barbosa because of the change in the delivery.”─ Nitwit Central. There’s a plot?

GIANT DANG!!

• Rock & Roll, Renato’s draft pick, has dumped Marchi, Palermo, Alves, and Nunes. First the clock said Nunes got bucked off at 7.93; he challenged, the replay said 7.89. It’s insane that a score depends on when They start the stopwatch. Talk about room for human error! “I was riding so hard with him I just whacked my head on the TV monitor back here!” said McBride. I know I squawked. Nunes was on the ground at 8, but I’ve seen other riders scored for that. Of course they weren’t Brazilian.
• GAACK! Can’t believe I’m hearing the words “Silvano Alves on the bubble.”
• Guilherme Marchi’s reride bull was Josey Wales; Shorty and the Booth Boys proclaimed this matchup a slam dunk. Yeah, for the bull! A huge vertical move right at the chute, then his head came straight up; after his shocking, instant de-throning, Marchi declined a re-ride, looking miserable, his shoulder in pain. Another shocker: It’s rare to see him get ticked about being bucked off, but this time he was. Express managed to make him slap, and it was all over. I’m thinking Marchi’s preoccupied about Patricia’s injuries.

FASHION ALERTS!

Cody Campbell’s black and sky-blue print shirt. J.Dub’s wild psychedelic jacket. Rubens Barbosa’s helmet: acid green stripes on black, matching the ones on his back and chaps. Austin Meier’s sci-fi duds. Marchi’s cool chaps with big medallions down the sides instead of all the decorations up front. The boys are stylin’!

I just had a horrifying thought. What if the PBR goes so Hollywood that they hire designers to make the riders’ ensembles, and have them model them on the red carpet before each event? “So Austin, whose clothes are you wearing?” “The shirt is a custom design by Armani, to coordinate with my helmet and vest.” “Turn around, let us see the back.” “The jeans are by Wrangler; I wouldn’t wear any other kind…”

BALTIMORE, 2-4-12 Slowly catching up to the present…

This is all jumbled; the broadcast schedule made me so dizzy, I wasn’t sure what I was watching when. Call it bull riding gumbo.

J.W. Hart and Leah Garcia on duty. Add Justin McKee to that mix, and you’ve got the right mix you know, the one with the spice in it. The broadcast started 15 minutes late because of college hockey. Doesn’t that tell you how much CBS Sports thinks of bull riding?

Nothing attracts newcomers to the sport like a moron fake cowboy (HE’S AN ACTOR, FOLKS!) poking his finger at you in close-up, belting out, “So buck up and hold on tight!…This is bull riding! This is the PBR!” UGH. And the highlight show played that damn theme song a half dozen times.

WELCOME BACK…SORT OF

Brendon Clark is back on the BFTS after winning a Touring Pro event…then quickly got bucked off by Another One. Another clone, that is. Matt Bohon’s back from hip surgery, and got hit with Where’s the Whiskey? As JDub would say, he wasn’t taking a “holt” with his legs, the bull “rared” him back and blew him out the back door.

HIGHLIGHTS

• Mike Lee rode Bushwacker’s half bro Red Man, the bull that K.O.’d and concussed L.J. Jenkins last night. After weathering a bumpy beginning and big bucking, Lee settled in for about a 12-second ride, for 87.50. I see what they mean about him being extra work for the bullfighters!
• Renato Nunes rode King Lopez (’til now, 3 for 22). Sometimes he looks like a little rag doll up on the back of a big bull like this, flopping back and forth— always makes me think he’s gonna fly off at any moment. Instead he scored 86.75 and backflipped off the Shark Cage.
• Guilherme Marchi mastered monster Whiskey’s Rebel, who’s supposed to be better for left-handed riders. He manhandled that bull; so much for bulls going into Marchi’s hand being the ones he rides. The bull was leaping and turning in the air, then delivered a last-minute head roll right at the Shark Cage a second before Marchi made it up there. Loved his karate kicks; he was so happy. Exceptional ride, said J.W. We know it was a 90-point ride. And we know why it was scored 89.50. It had nothing to do with rider or bull.
• Woo hoo! You go, Stormy! Movin’ On pulled everything he had, moving in every direction at once, including in mid-air. He got so crazy at the end that, after Wing was off his back, the bull launched himself into the air, wiggling so hard he fell down. And Stormy scored 87. “In the pens this bull is so docile you almost have to kick him in the tail to get him to move down the alley.”—pretty hard to believe, J.W.!
• Marchi rode draft pick Dark Shadow like a merry-go-round, working his left leg outrageously. He is THE MAN. 86.25 for that rock solid ride was a crime, and I think I know why it was committed. Um, what other rider(s) would’ve been given 90 or more? Let’s see…
• Jared Farley riding Slim’s Ghost for 85.75 (or 86.75?). “It’s either money or blood for Jared Farley,” said J.W. Riding a clone’s a real accomplishment: Valdiron rode I’m Back, who told off everybody in the ring afterwards, for 86.50.

SPOTLIGHT ON DIRTEATER

Impressive clips of Ryan Dirteater’s two rides last night. His center was so—centered. Tonight his form on Uncle Carl was perfect; definitely deserved 88.25. He came into the event at 2/6; last week’s Top 10 finish in Sacramento was his first of 2012. Hammered, a bull Shorty called a “real smart, mean bull,” was so big he was leaning on the back of chute, but Ryan rode him for 88.25, sweeping his free arm, looking good.

NITWITTICISMS

• Craig the Bummer ran through a string of ridiculous belabored maritime metaphors until he finally came up with this gem: “J.B. Mauney has mutiny on his mind.”
• Hummer called Caleb Sanderson “one of the hot guys.” Who else do ya think is hot, Craig? Or do you not realize what ya said?
• Trying to compliment J.W. on predicting that if the bull went left into Renato’s hand, he was done, Hummer called him “Nostrahartus.” All together now: GROANNNN.
• Next time I see Hummer, I have to wring his neck. Seriously. Why? “A chance for J.B. to make a statement to his fans,” “He’s hopin’ this is one heck of an exclamation point to his high on the East Coast…” “We have seen a performance that will go down as one for the ages— absolutely domination.” The ages?? This is bull riding, fool, not the discovery of fire. Gag me! I mean, gag you!

HOT STUFF:

• Dakota Beck, an alternate in this event, scored 87.25 on Lucky 7, then 89.50 on Bad Blake (2^nd in 2011 ABBI Classic competition to Back Bender), the highest score of his career so far. Nobody would’ve thought he could ride this bull, but Beck is pretty damn bad himself. Delco is too rank for him right now, but give him time. Beck doesn’t shy away from the tough ones. Look out, J.B. Dakota’s in the rear view mirror.

HILARIOUS: JDub’s still commenting on how the clones look like their sire. Could somebody please clue him in?

LOVE IT!!

Showing rides shot from under the Shark Cage: seeing from the ground up what the bulls do, hearing the dirt flicking against the camera, occasionally obscuring the lens, seeing the hooves come so close. I hope they decide to put these shots on the big screen at live events. I keep forgetting the hooves are cloven, like dinosaur feet or ostrich feet. Hey─ dinosaurs were related to birds, so are bulls descended from dinosaurs or ostriches? (Sorry, my mind was wandering during some stupid commercial.)

BULL STUFF

• Stacks of Cash was moanin’ and groanin’ in the chute, probably to warn Josh Faircloth he wasn’t gonna enjoy this out, and it worked.
• Bad-ass Rango came in with 11 straight buckoffs, and made Jared Farley his 12^th ─ then feinted at the bullfighters and threatened everyone else on the dirt.
• Whiskey’s Rebel is always crazed in the chute; to keep him from turning over or upside down, the guys use as many ropes as King Kong would need. Jerome Robinson practically made a cat’s cradle around the bull’s head with all kinds of slipknots. “This bull has an attitude in there; everybody knows it.”—Shorty.
• Ya can see why they named him Back Bender: Ty Pozzobon was dancing sideways with the bull, whose fakes and a powerful sidewinder move threw off Ty at 6 seconds. The whole audience let out a big bummed out “OHH!” when he got tossed to the dirt. Of course, Hummer called Ty “a very tenacious Canadian.” How about, “a very tenacious rider?”
• Congo’s good at swapping ends; Ryan Dirteater made it into perfect timing, for 85.75.
• BigTexTrailers.com has bucked off two World Champs: Lostroh and Shivers. He faked out Kody after a few left turns; pretended he was changing direction, then went straight, jumped ahead, and off came Kody.
• Carrillo Cartel’s been at it for years, but still kicks ass─ in this case, Ryan Dirteater’s. When the bull ducked his head to the ground, touching down with his snout, Ryan was done. Hummer asked if that could’ve been a reride; J.W.’s professional opinion: “That bull didn’t fall plumb to his belly.” Later Leah interviewed Ryan in front of the metal panel and railings that Carrillo Cartel head-butted yesterday because he wanted it moved: the railings were bent, the panel had a major dent in it.

A MARCO MOMENT

Cute Kodak moment of Marco Eguche bopping up and down, revving for a ride. He’s already merited a Cooper Tires Athlete Profile. But JDub and The Bummer automatically compared him only to Brazilian riders (Silvano, Marchi, Renato). Can’t you just say, “He’s one of the best new riders on the tour?” Either way, Black & Decker Orange Crush didn’t care. After he tossed Eguche, he chased him to hook a horn under the back of his vest and shove him─ so clearly a case of revenge for sticking on his back a few seconds.

I’M JUST SAYIN’…

• J.B. came into Saturday as “Bad Boy Lead Dog.” I can tell that designation is gonna grate on me as the season progresses. “Lead Dog” would be sufficient; we get the idea.
• Let’s count how many times we hear “the Brazilian” and not “the American,” as in, “7 career wins for the Brazilian,” “This should be a pairing that suits the Brazilian,” etc. Has anyone heard a baseball sportscaster talk about “the Dominican” pitcher or “the Cuban” catcher or “the Puerto Rican” hitter?
• Hummer and JDub automatically compared Eguche only to Brazilian riders (Silvano, Marchi, Renato).
• Dustin Elliott scored 87 on Whoopah Cocktail─ a ride supposedly 0.25 points better than Marchi’s on Dark Shadow? How? Why?
• The video montages are good, I thought this was an improvement, then that ugly “Sometimes I think I get off on the pain” song kicks in, and I realize, this may never be a class act.
• Do men really think a lawn mower is macho? Do they believe a female in hot pants and a tight tank top will want them because they’re riding a lawn mower? Who makes these commercials?
• After Pozzobon’s 86-points on New Britain 1843, JDub said, “This kid may be the best Canadian we’ve seen on tour in recent history.” So many things wrong with that sentence. Why automatically stick Ty in the Canadian box? Why not, “He’s one of the best new riders”? And what’s Aaron Roy— chopped liver?
• 84.75? Highway robbery for Renato’s trip on 24 Karat, who was flashing Lippizaner stallion dressage moves. Nunes hung onto that wicked ride, got thrown headfirst against the chute, smashed, and kicked in his helmetless head─ not looking so happy. And which riders can I think of who’d get 90 for it?
• Silvano’s been team roping and taking two hours of English classes a day. JDub put both feet in his mouth, saying now that Alves knows more English, they can see that he has emotions. What, you can’t see his emotions because he speaks Portuguese? JDub said Silvano was upset about two scores that were lower than he thought he should have. Alves is right: judges have been underscoring him for weeks.
• ARGH! Once again, Craig babbled over Cord McCoy’s comment on being DQ’d for reaching for his rope at 7.8 on Will Happen. Hummer oughtta know: Cord says something after every out. We wanna hear him!
• UGH—Gross shouting rap “song” PBR promo, while we see footage of wrecks with some riding. Guess this is the highly sophisticated attempt to bring in the rap audience.
• PFI’s Boot Daddy was bouncing and traveling. How come sometimes traveling is penalized or a rider is offered a reride? This time Mike Lee scored: 82.75.
• A replay showed Kody Lostroh in the air at 8, whether he had the tail of the rope in his hand is doubtful, but he was scored 82.75 on Lightmaker (Santiago), who behaved like a trained pet, dutifully kicking and turning; not doing anything interesting with his head.
• Jeez, did Ty Murray lend J.W. one of his nightmare black and white hallucinogenic shirts??

YOU GOT THAT RIGHT! JDub said he thought Valdiron’s 94 on Buckey should’ve been 95.

LIKIN’ IT: JDub put a couple of Austin Meier’s rides under the microscope with the Telestrator.

OUCH!

• Alves got leaned back, then thrown forward, head and shoulders slamming Come Back’s big ol’ skull before being dumped.
• Gypsy Boots gave Stormy Wing a wild time in the chute, then later crushed him against it, but Wing came out of it with 87.50.

TRUTH BOOTH

• Watching replays of buckoffs, Snyder, McCoy, and Dustin Elliott evaluated what they did wrong. Luke: “I totally wasted the potential to get back on one here. My weekend’s over, just chalk it up to— well, looks like I didn’t even put my damn mouthpiece in…” Cord: “If you’re watching this at home and you wanna ride bulls, the rule is 8 seconds. So stay on for 8 seconds. Ouch! Don’t show that again; that’s really bad.” Dustin: “It’s just bull riding. You just gotta block all that other crap out of your mind. If you let it get to you, that’s when you’re gonna pressure up and buck off. …I like to think that every time I nod my head, I do my best… it’s my fault I bucked off.” He said being on the bubble means nothing to him. JDub says: “He’s lyin’.”

CAN I QUOTE YOU ON THAT?

• L.J. looked like a crash dummy in that clip of his knockout wreck by Red Man last night. The bull conked him out with a horn, then danced on him: “If there’s one good thing I can say for being knocked out, is you’re not awake for all the bad stuff.”─ J.W.
• “In bull riding, any landing you walk away from is a good one.” J.W.
• Leah interviewing Ryan Dirteater about Carrillo Cartel, asked him about making sure he gets away fast: “Oh yeah, I get away from all of ‘em fast.”
• Stormy Wing was on the cut line, but 85.75 on Carolina Kicker saved him. “He has to ride, he’s on the line. That’s what he needs to hear to ride. Maybe every weekend we should tell him he’s on the line!”—J.W.

GET OUTTA THEIR HEADS, CRAIG!

“Valdiron wants to think about protecting that #1 position.”

FASHION ALERT! Jeez, Ryan McConnel’s an albino now.

ZIP IT, BOYS!

Hummer and Hart stepped in doo-doo, commenting on Leah’s longevity compared to the riders, and then made it worse by joking, “Are you saying she’s old?”

BYE BYE

Chicken Lickin didn’t have to do much to get rid of Douglas Duncan: the bull went right, Duncan went left, and it looked like he landed on his face in the “atmosphere.” Yuck. He’s now cut from the BFTS. He’ll probably be back soon because of his earnings in TPD events, though.

SAY IT AIN’T SO!

Ben Jones now is 3 for 11 after his very solid, centered 87.50 trip on Monsoon, the best we’ve seen him ride in a long time. In spite of that, he’s out of the BFTS. He lost his balance, leaned forward, and his arm came down on a bull whose name I didn’t register because I was distraught. Asked what he thinks he has to do different: “Hang on.” In Leah’s interview you saw how sensitive he is: sad, soft-spoken, at a loss for words about what’s happening: “It just sucks coming out this way.” She backed off the tough questions after a bit and encouraged him, even with a reassuring touch, which was just wonderful. Yep, we’ll miss him, but hope we see him back FAST.

MAUNEY MANIA

J.B.’s beautiful 90-point ride on big black bull Play Harder was his first of the season. Great clip of him on HeeBeeGeeBee last night: the bull came out backwards; later his tail flipped up and hung in J.B.’s face mask, yanking his helmet up and back, blocking his vision. J.B. rode two jumps blindfolded; when he heard the buzzer, without missing a beat he whipped off his helmet while the bull was still bucking. He also got it done tonight on Black Pearl, an excellent draft pick. They made good dancing partners in the 2009 Finals, for 93.25. The bull bucked in the chute when it opened, and it was a niiiice ride: big bucking and J.B. in total control, for 88.25.  Actually, the bull looked kinda half-hearted after 6 seconds.

He didn’t even have to ride his last bull, RMEF Gunpowder & Lead; he’d already won, leading wire to wire: his 13^th career win. But he did ride, make it look easy, then got stuck in the spin cycle, adding a few more seconds to his 92.25 ride─ now THAT is the J.B. we remember. Let’s think of last year as just a bad dream. This makes him #1 in the world for the moment. VDO, Meier, Eguche, and Snyder follow.

The event ends on a high note, and then just to tick me off, they run that crappy song. DANG!

 

 

PETE FARLEY UPDATE (SORT OF)

THIS IS REALLY UNACCEPTABLE

In the list of 10 Built Ford Tough Series riders out for injuries, we finally hear something about Pete Farley: “head surgery.” That’s all─ that’s the extent of the information passed along to the U.S. fans. You have to go to the PBR Australia site to find out the story. Here’s the Jan. 30 news release there (grammar goofs aren’t mine):

“The 23 year old, 2008 PBR Australia Champion and 3 times PBR World Finals Qualifier Pete Farley from Kempsey in NSW has undergone a battle for his life over the past month.

Bull riding is at the heart and centre of the Farley family with Pete’s father Paul a former Australian Champion and eldest brother Denny who is a regular on the PBR Australia tour. Pete is the youngest of the boys and lives and competes in the USA on the PBR tour with his older brother Jared.

In the practice pen on the family farm near Kempsey in early December Pete sustained a head injury while practicing on one of his bulls. Pete who always wears a protective helmet competing does so as well while practicing. The force of the bull’s and Pete’s head colliding was such an impact that the helmet was dislodged.

Pete was rushed to the local hospital before being transferred to the Newcastle Hospital where he was placed in an in juiced coma. After regaining conciseness Pete’s recovery has been slow and difficult and his mother Rosie has been there through it all.

But with the tough fighting spirit most of us get to witness from Pete every time he steps aboard his bulls in the PBR; is what is getting him through. This week he overcome a major milestone and was released from hospital to go home to the Kempsey farm.

With his loving and devoted family Pete will continue to soldier on with his many hours of rehab and recovery. We look forward to seeing him back on the tour and he will continue to be in our prayers.

The Farley’s would like to thank everyone for their well wishes, cards and calls. It has been overwhelming the support they have received.”

SACRAMENTO – 15 Riders, 15 Bulls Jan. 29, 2012

Lissen, this is skimpy ‘cause I had company and I didn’t want to be rude to him.

RIGHT OFF THE BAT:

“Silvano Alves has a date with destiny.” ─Hummer, who can’t resist a cliché.

I’M JUST SAYIN’…

Why the J.B. Mauney interview? Is this more of the Great White Hope hype? If you count the number of his interviews compared to the number of interviews other riders have been given, it’s obvious who the favorite son is. In spite of being a Mauney Minion, I think some more riders deserve a little more limelight. This is not a two-man contest.

HIGHLIGHTS

• Valdiron’s 94-point ride on Buckey!
• Jordan Hupp busted Sod Buster’s sod (do I sound like Craig Hummer yet?), for 89.50.
• Luke Snyder’s 90.25 ride on Black Attack. Luke is lookin’ good yet again─ and I think we’re going to see a lot more of this bull.
• Aaron Roy’s 90.25 on MacNett’s Southern Wine.
• I know it’s not nice, but it was amazing to see L.J. Jenkins being airmailed by Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey.
• J.B.’s 91.50 on Larry the Cable Guy’s Git-R-Done. He’s ba-ack!
• Austin Meier’s workouts during his break really paid off. He took on Shepherd Hills Trapper, who was 5 for 26, and raked in 92 points.
• Again, I know it’s not nice, but how hilarious was Austin, stuck inside his helmet? He must’ve been struggling for five minutes to get himself out, but nobody came to help him pop the latch.
• And then there was the sight of Guilherme Marchi flying head over heels off the back of some bull I don’t even remember the name of. I love Marchi, but I did laugh.

DANG!

Marco Eguche’s disappointing attempt on Speckled Ivory. Ty Pozzobon’s 7 seconds on Mellow Yellow Jacket. These are two of my favorite up-and-coming riders; next time they’ll do it!

SO WHAT ELSE IS NEW?

Two thumps and Asteroid bucked off another one. But this one was Silvano Alves! And the bull scored 47.50.

AWWW…

“Cowboy Casanova is the most spoiled bull I have.”─Mesa Pate. That’s because she nursed him back from an injury. And now Caleb Sanderson went and scored 88ish on him.

LIKIN’ IT!

The Ford Invasion took Brendon Clark and his wife Allie (not sure how it’s spelled) and Luke Snyder to the highest point in California to visit Brendon’s ranch; Sean Willingham showed up to visit. Two young bull riders there strutted their stuff: Bernie Saenz (not sure how it’s spelled) and Cash whose last name I don’t think was said. Woulda liked to know more about them.

CAN I QUOTE YOU ON THAT?

• J.B. explained how he was dealing with his injuries: “I rubbed Blue Emu all over my body.” Makes ya kinda wanna be a fly on the locker room wall, don’t it? On second thought, can you imagine the stank in there?
• “Nothing is impossible.”─Valdiron de Oliveira