Kaique Pacheco Wins Charlotte

Championship Round – PBR, Charlotte, NC

To listen to the announcers, you’d think this event took place in Mooresville. Somebody actually said the event was in J.B.’s hometown! Use a map, bozo boys.

I couldn’t stand the idea of watching the first two nights on Carbon TV or PBR Live or whatever the eff it is, so this is all she wrote.

“It’s already like an explosion has went off.”—Ty Murray’s description of Air Time
“A bee-moth like Air Time…” OMG Craig, use your dictionary.

That photo of Air Time’s bizarre pose, with his butt shooting for the moon as he rests on his chin.

Of course we’re getting our major dose of J.B. performing his script.


  • How did Josh Faircloth suddenly show up? How did five riders from North Carolina end up in the event? Is that all it took to qualify? Being born in the favorite son’s home state? SO not cool.
  • Local boy Shane Proctor came off I’m A Gangster Too at 7.99 or slightly sooner, from what I could see and hear, then took a shot on the back of his left leg. “Much like his brother-in-law, J.B. Mauney…” was Hummer’s irrelevant comment. (Just gotta get those promotional comments in there.) I don’t begrudge Shane, but I would finish that sentence with, “he gets to use the J.B. clock.” The ride was replayed without a digital clock visible, so it was easy to score him 88.25.
  • “That was the greatest run to a World Championship we’ve ever seen…this guy is definitely going to be the legend of this sport,” raved Ty about Mauney. Never mind Alves, who won 3 World Championships (some of us say 4). I’m not drinking the Kool-Aid.

João Ricardo Vieira wasn’t in the Championship Round.


  • Off the Grid was seriously rockin’ and rollin’ in the chute; Josh Faircloth must’ve been picturing another ankle break. After several minutes of attempting to get set, it got ridiculous; Josh should’ve given up much sooner than he did. After two more riders, Josh got a second chance—on Fire Rock. Leave it to The Bummer to come up with, “Fire Rock is able to light up Josh Faircloth.” Sounds like a positive thing. Considering what actually happened, Fire Rock was able to burn Josh Faircloth.
  • Buck Dynasty was his usual charming self: he was so eager to get nasty that he hung a foot in the chute on his way out, fouling Renato Nunes, who got smacked against the corner of a post and then bashed in the back. Since Renato was stuck with the bull in the draft, he looked real happy that he was going to get a reride. That didn’t work out so well, either: Stanley FatMax wasn’t in the mood to be ridden. Or should I say, wasn’t in the mood to be done rode? Craig’s take: “Couldn’t have a worse matchup.”
  • The buildup to the J.B./Air Time match: “Will Air Time fall victim like so many great bulls before him?”—Craig, ready to hyperventilate about a potential 98 score. Instead, he was left saying that J.B. had a “dirt sandwich.” Mauney made a Mike Lee-sized plop when he hit the ground. The bull’s head had snagged a bit in the front of the chute, and J.B. also slapped his horn, but still challenged for a foul, which didn’t work. Jared Allen’s impressive bull scored 45.50. Magic Train, another Allen bull, kicked J.W. Harris’s ass and scored 45.25. If I were Magic Train, I’d be looking over my shoulder. You don’t want to make J.W. mad.
  • Stuntin’ Like My Daddy finally got his own back against Cooper Davis, who rode him twice; the third time was the charm for the bovine.


  • Fabiano Vieira was on an 11-ride streak, got bucked off in Springfield, and is now on another streak. He rode Diesel, got smacked against the fence at the getoff, and scored 88.50. Of course the post-ride interview was with Shane Proctor instead of the guy who just beat him. Because…I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.
  • Percolator gave a good performance, including some rear end action late in the ride. Tanner Byrne did some percolatin’ himself; he made it look easy to score 89.25. Of course, when Kaique Pacheco, who turned 21 on Saturday (the 19th), rode Percolator, “It wasn’t Percolator’s best out,” according to Craig.
  • Kaique Pacheco on Sasquatch scored 88.75—as far as you can go without getting an American score. Ty Murray’s evaluation of the ride: “This was off the charts.” Ya mean, like 90? I thought so.

How come some riders already have dirty asses before they even get on a bull?

Pacheco wins! Gage Gay, who won Round 1 was #2, Tanner Byrne #3, Fabiano Viera #4, J.B. Mauney #7. And true to form, no on-air interview with Kaique, who’s now #3 in the world. Because…again, I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.

The wrap-up of the event consisted of Shorty Gorham and Craig Hummer trying to turns J.B.’s loss into a win by talking about his confidence, and how he “captured the hearts of viewers.” (And lots of other blather, trying to make themselves feel better about their favorite rider not winning.) You’d think the guy won the event! They just cannot accept reality: J.B. is not infallible, and a 21-year-old Brazilian kid won, okay? Get over it! These jerks would never do this stuff for JRV when he doesn’t win. This is more of that PBR Gaslight strategy: tell people what isn’t true until they think it is. Don’t drink the Kool-Aid, people. There’s a lot of it around.

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First, the same old same old PBR storyline:

  • First face we see on the broadcast is J.B. Mauney, who introduces the show, watching a video of himself.
  • First thing we hear after that is Ty Murray talking about J.B. being #1, and having him demonstrate how to dress up a ride. Apparently it’s all about the free arm. Listen, that arm work is about balance, not for show.
  • The Athlete Profile was again about J.B. I wonder how many there have been so far?
  • More hysteria from Craig Hummer (they recorded this shit, so we’re going to hear it every time “the fan favorite from North Carolina” goes up to bat): “Is he on his way to a second gold buckle?!?” Ask the judges, Hummer.


  • In a bogus attempt to pacify fans who have been shouting for the judges’ blood, the PBR put replay judge Jeff Shear on camera, clearly having been coached on what to say. We’re supposed to believe that the judges (who were not on camera) award one extra point to a rider who’s in total control of his bull, and if he’s off to the side or out of shape, he loses a point. Those might be the rules that apply to everyone else, but when J.B. looks like he’s in total control of his bull, he gets an extra 10 points. If he slips off to the side, he might get docked one point from his usual 90ish score. Pull the other one, Jeff.
  • I’m A Gangster Too, who was 2 for 13, exhibited “a nice little duck and jive move,” according to Craig. He needs the same dictionary Ty Murray does.
  • “Missoura”, Craig? Who are you, Ed Sullivan?


Interesting to hear about the gate man and latch man’s jobs, and to see how the bullfighters worked to get Billy Robinson out of a scary-bad hangup.

BootDaddy.com was dyed pink for his status as bonus bull, raising money for the fight against breast cancer. Either that, or he works for Betsey Johnson. We’re going to see a pink bull every Friday night from now on, so for those of you who get snockered while watching bull riding, don’t worry—it’s not you, it’s the bull.


  • Hummer says they made a big deal about Silvano Alves’s hip surgery. Uh, no. That’s just his defense against people who have a working memory. The fuss about J.B.’s ankle was the size of a tidal wave. Occasionally we heard about Silvano; mostly we were getting hourly bulletins about J.B.
  • Kasey Hayes scored an 87 on Hustle Man. First, Hallucinatin’ Hummer claimed that Kasey is “one of the riders we always highlight throughout the season,” then declared that he was “trying to imitate J.B. Mauney with his arm movement.” Uh, no, dude. Just because a guy sticks his arm in the air doesn’t mean he’s imitating Mauney. And the only time you mention Hayes is when he’s in front of you.
  • Cody Nance wanted to ride Roy “because he reminds me of myself: he’s just honest and doesn’t cheat you.” Um, there is no mirror here, kid. Roy doesn’t leave the chute with his spurs stuck into the rope.


  • Ben Jones definitely took it to Blind Spot in Round 3 and didn’t let up until he scored 88.25. He won the round. Not so much fun in the Championship Round on Modified Clyde; he became another cowboy crashed against the out gate—flung like a crumpled-up piece of paper you’d chuck at a trash can.
  • Shane Proctor rolled under Darth Vader instead of away. He scored 86.50 but didn’t escape a stomping.
  • Stetson Lawrence almost came off Buckle Up but recovered from being out of position, for 87.25. Then in the Championship Round, Semper Fi trashed him: stamped him hard in the middle, below the vest. He also took several hits from the horns to his head, shoulder, and a couple of other places. I’d have thought he’d have internal organ damage and broken ribs after this. He needed to be helped out by Sports Medicine.
  • Tanner Byrne ate What a Burger for lunch (and 86 points)! 3 rides in the event. Looking good, Red!
  • Mason Lowe was a serious hometown boy: he practically brought his whole town with him: 200 friends and family members. He won round 2 on Pushing Pills, with an 88.50, on his birthday. In Round 3, he earned 87.25 with Come On Baby. God forbid Hummer should let him have his moment of glory, though. His comment: “That’s the first time this season we’ve seen anybody rival the cheers that J.B. Mauney usually gets,” followed by a comparison of his riding style with J.B.’s. I guess it’s official: anyone who ever raises an arm in the air is imitating JB. That means Fabiano Vieira is the only rider who’s his own man.
  • J.W. Harris on Long John was a thing of beauty! He rode him in Springfield last year, and did it for 90.25 this time. I’m sure he didn’t mind how hard he hit the ground, he rode so well. But I have that nagging question in the back of my mind: what was the difference between his ride and J.B.’s 92.25? Was it really just a matter of the bull’s performance?


  • Rubens Barbosa got to 6.94 on Rain Man. Aww.
  • Silvano has ridden only a shocking 2 out of 10 bulls. Obviously his broken hip still isn’t ready for action. He looked fine on Icy Hot, but only for 6.62.
  • Fabiano’s free arm was a problem for him on Johnny’s Boy; he came down at 6.94.
  • Renato was having a great ride on Bruiser in Round 3, but only until 7.41. Bull score: 46.25. In round 1, Bruiser took down Valdiron de Oliveira, for 46 pts.
  • Buck Autism bucked hard and scored 45. On the ground, Kaique Pacheco’s instant reflex moved his (helmeted) head out of the way just after a hoof grazed his face; he was 2 inches from having the whole bull land on top of him.


  • His comment on Douglas Duncan’s buckoff by Legacy: “You can’t just be settin’ up there in a prone position.” Somebody hand him a dictionary.
  • Here’s a real mean-spirited comment on Duncan’s injury, which has been hampering his riding for months: “Nobody cares but his mom.” Wow.
  • “All the inertia going away from you” was his mantra this weekend. Dear, inertia doesn’t go anywhere. Again—crack open your Funk and Wagnall’s.
  • And how about that insulting comment Ty made about Zane Cook, a 3-time Native American invitee to Springfield? “This is like having a high school kid have to step up to the pro level.”
  • Sigh: he’s back to saying “Noonyez.”
  • Talking about Little Red Jacket: “He almost is like dancing on his feet… knuckling them over…”
  • After both Mauney and Vieira were mincemeat, Ty uttered one of his most idiotic comments yet: “Who wants that million dollars the most?” Somehow he can’t grasp that when a guy can’t walk, he might not be able to get on a bull, no matter how much he wants the million. “You just don’t want it enough” is the dumbest thing to say to a bull rider. OF COURSE they want it, or they wouldn’t be doing such a dangerous job for a living! STFU, Murray.


  • Why do they show Neil Holmes’s Thackerville wreck, but not tell us about his health?
  • Hometown boy Brady Sims was taking too long in the chute on Bourbon Borderline; I heard somebody saying, “Come on, Brady!” but it wasn’t a judge. Nope, Sims was not put on the clock. And of course after all his fussing in there, he got bucked off pretty quickly. Ty’s comment: “Where this all went wrong was right when he nodded.”
  • Now we’re identifying Stormy Wing as “J.B. Mauney’s good friend.” Spare me!
  • Gage Gay touched I’m Trouble and didn’t make 8, as far as I could see, but he scored 85.75.
  • Cooper Davis is existing on 1200 calories a day, and has lost 13 lbs. Who knew bull riders starve themselves like models do?


  • J.W. Hart’s two bulls, Born in the USA and Glory Days, turned in Bruce-worthy performances. The first guy kicked the shit out of a fence and deprived Stormy of a ride; the second one ditched Renato Nunes in Round 1, and Ryan Dirteater in Round 3, scoring 44 and 44.25. Was J.W. nervous? “I ain’t had to pee yet.”
  • Slinger, Jr. has an utterly vertical kick—like what’s-his-name, remember? That bull whose name begins with an A?
  • David’s Dream, 11 straight buckoffs. Boot Jack, 1 for 15.


  • J.W. Harris and J.W. Hart were talking about Harris’s 88.25 ride on King Buck in Biloxi. Harris, explaining his post-ride interview: “I was trying to think of something really smart to say at that moment, and it just didn’t come out.” JDub: “Maybe I should’ve given you a clinic for how to get off.”
  • Robson Palermo’s wife Priscilla had baby Lucas at 5a.m., so Papa Palermo got no sleep, but he scored 87.50 on Rebelution, riding loosely rather than clamping down (yay). Very sweet, what he said to Leah Garcia about his third child giving him more motivation: “I make this ride for him,” and talking about how his wife was hanging on by herself with her mama, then telling his wife through the camera lens, “I love you.” Aww!


  • Craig referred to a spectacular photo taken by Andy “Watkins.” Watson, you dolt, not Watkins! The guy’s been working for the PBR forever, and is a fantastic sports photographer—how could you POSSIBLY get his name wrong??


  • J.B. Mauney has a 56.86% riding percentage, which you know is for real, because judges can’t make him stay on a bull. Pearl Harbor didn’t add to that percentage; he went berserk in the chute, crashing against J.B.’s bad ankle and knee. Nathan Schaper was the hero: he singlehandedly lifted J.B. up and out of the chute. (It’s good to have a big guy around.) Whatever happened in there really messed up J.B.; he was on his knees in pain, and you know he tries to hide pain. No Championship Round for him. Backstage shot: a miserable face on J.B., sitting in his shorts with an ice bag on his bruised leg and sprained MCL.
  • Another semi-casualty was João Ricardo Vieira (49.32% riding percentage). Crazy Days bashed him against chute on the way out. The hit to his leg had him down on the ground, unable to walk without help. He “cowboyed up” to accept a re-ride— on Pearl Harbor, the bull that messed up J.B.—an unsuccessful attempt.
  • Valdiron de Oliveira had to bow out after his bad luck with Time Bomb in Round 3, which aggravated his back injury.


J.W. Harris wins—and I’m doing my happy dance. The rest of the top guys: Mason Lowe, Tanner Byrne, Stetson Lawrence, Ben Jones, and Robson Palermo. Nice mix!




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They’re at it again. It’s that time of year: time for the judges to push J.B. Mauney to the top of the charts. Give him a 90 every time he rides. If he gets bucked off, the party line is that the bull wasn’t enough of a challenge; he rides the rankest ones. Does anyone see how that doesn’t make sense?? If anyone else gets bucked off, he got bucked off, period: “shoulda rode that one,” “was no match for the bull,” “the bull got the better of him,” etc. Not with J.B, no sir: the bull wasn’t good enough for him, that’s why he didn’t ride him. What a load of crap.

The judges’ strategy couldn’t be any plainer than this: the onscreen graphic comparing the fall stretch of 2013 to this year’s. It just confirms their plan, which they’re executing smoothly. Keep the scores for most of the Brazilian riders in the low 80s range, except for the guys who aren’t a threat, and throw exaggerated scores at J.B. As long as he makes the whistle, he’s guaranteed a big score.

The win slipped by him this time (god forbid we should say Eduardo Aparecido beat him), but the judges handed him a nice fat consolation prize: a round win worth lots of points. Just like last year’s Finals: when he couldn’t win, they voted his trip the high scoring ride of the event.

Making sense? What am I talking about?! Heresy! There’s a storyline to act out; never mind rational, fair scoring.

So here’s the story of Thackerville, which was handled by the Booth Boys as if it were already in J.B.’s pocket from the get-go. I counted 25 mentions of him—and I’m sure I missed a few when I went to the bathroom or the kitchen. The João Ricardo Vieira count was more like a half dozen.

• The opening segment, visually identifying riders and bulls.
• Stoner Sober is back; haven’t seen him in a long time. Last person to score on this bull was Emilio Resende, in Oklahoma City, back in Jan. 2013, for 88. I think I heard that the bull has 26(?) straight buckoffs. Loved the unbelievable photo of the bull literally leapfrogging 9 feet high over a flattened rider; SS was practically standing straight up; front legs tucked under. He absolutely knew exactly what he was doing. Love his squiggly kick in the air as he’s coming down. Don’t think Renato Nunes appreciated it, though.
• Shaft is 1 for 19, according to the Booth Boys, though according to ProBullStats, he’s 1 for 15. Nice run for the bull!
• Kaique Pacheco comes into this event having won Brazil’s biggest event at Barretos.
• J.W. and LeeAnn Hart are Springsteen fans; they’ve named their bulls Born in the USA and another Bruce song. Guess they’re some of the people who didn’t understand what the lyrics are saying.
• Finally someone gives a Brazilian rider credit for being able to ride bulls in either direction. McBride mentioned Eduardo Aparecido. (#6 in the world last year, which I’m pretty sure a lot of people have forgotten). Eduardo proved it by scoring 85.25 on Deja Voodoo.
• Cool-looking bulls: Intensified Clyde and Earl Sports. Both ends are dark, and they’re light in the middle.
• This is the schizophrenia usually associated with Ty Murray: after all the Brazilian-bashing that goes on, Craig says, “Go go go Fabiano!” as Vieira rides Legal Tender for 86.25. (The judges don’t hate him.) McBride actually said they’re “always talking about J.B. this, and João that, but this guy is putting himself in the conversation.” Thank you.
• Cody Lambert pulled another one of his funny (sometimes) matchups: J.W. (Harris) was given a J.W. (Hart) bull, Snap Back. The bull was aptly named; he pulled Harris down and snapped him forward and off.

• Why does Justin McBride always have a pencil in his hand? It’s not like he knows how to use it.
• According to Craig, Robson “Spiderman” Aragao was singing the U.S. national anthem louder than anyone else; Hummer said how cool that is. Then he gives us the party line about how the Brazilians love their adopted country and the PBR because it’s given them a chance they wouldn’t have had. So if the PBR appreciates how adaptable the Brazilians have been, why are the judges shafting a lot of them a lot of the time in favor of J.B.?
• Why wasn’t Neil Holmes offered a re-ride? Open Season badly hipped himself, changing the direction of the ride– remember that rule? Holmes, who already had stitches in his riding hand, came down under the bull, got stepped on, horned, and bashed. The bullfighters weren’t in position. I can’t believe he walked away from that mess. I’d like to know what the damage was.
• Brady Sims was offered 77.50 or a re-ride because Crystal Pistol had no spin, and nobody criticized him for turning it down. Now, why is that?
• How come only Brazilian riders “have trouble with bulls that go away from their hands”? I never hear them say that about Americans. Example: Vieira took on Superstition, who “usually likes to go to the right, and we all know that’s the direction he has trouble with,” says SFB McBride. Vieira rode the bull. The judges offered him 65.25 or a re-ride because of the bull’s performance. (He turned it down.)

• Round 2: Nathan Schaper on Blonde Bomber, who delivers an average score of 87.1. He should’ve ridden him, it looked like he was doing it, and then—aarrggh!
• Ben Jones came off Gnarly Head at 7.66. On Ben’s way to the dirt, the bull nailed the back of his head. Gnarly, alright. Ben was holding the back of his neck in pain. Off to Sports Medicine he went. Aarrggh!
• Robson Palermo was looking good on Gentleman Jim, then aarrggh! He made it to 7.68.

Round 2: Stormy Wing took on Back in Black. Hummer of course babbles the automatic “swings for the fences” delusion. Stormy definitely took wing! P.F.F. watching him run in mid-air like a cartoon character as the bull shipped him up and out. We’re gonna have to take up a collection to buy him a new hat; he pulverized his out of aggravation.

A black bull was named Sambo. How shameful is that?! More disgusting racist hatred from ignorant morons. Can you imagine the sickening conversation that went on before someone chose this name? Curtis Mendell is the stock contractor.

• “That was as well of a controlled bull ride as you’re ever gonna see,” said McBride about Shane Proctor’s 86.75 on the bull whose name I won’t mention again because it’s so sickening.
• “Another notch in his pistol,” says Justin, making no sense, about their cape-wearing hero J.B. Mauney. Belt, McBride. You mean belt.

I think the PBR should give out buckles for a few more categories:
• Guy Who Has The Most 7+ Rides. Now that L.J. Jenkins has retired, the crown must be passed on to someone else.
• Loudest Buckoffs. That would be Mike Lee, last year’s Thackerville winner, who packs an amazing wallop when he hits the dirt.
• Most Broken Stuff. Ben Jones is your permanent winner.

• Ryan Dirteater had a murderous getoff from Palm Springs. He ended up with a bloody nose, sitting on the ground, stunned, and had to ask someone to push the challenge button for him. He got a concussion, and had to pull out of the Championship Round.
• Margy Time (14 straight buckoffs) made a powerful entrance. Neil Holmes’s face made a loud pop on the bull’s head. A helmet would’ve been a good idea. I don’t see how he didn’t break some bones.
• Jeremiah caused a bad hang-up for Shane Proctor, who couldn’t keep his feet on the ground. Can’t imagine what this swinging around did to his shoulders after that surgery last year. He was in bad shape as he was being helped out.
• Fabiano Vieira, who’s 11 for 12, bobbled all over Red Rover’s back and got his face smacked on the bull’s skull. My ongoing message to Fabiano: Why aren’t you wearing a helmet??

• Silvano Alves, who is 1 for 8, needed a tad more than his 82.50 on The Price Is Right to be in the top 15. Here’s where that “ding!” technique keeps him from moving up. The judges know their “tad”s.
• I think there’s a betting pool to see who can say J.B. the most times. So far, Craig is making a pile.
• Danutso was bucking backwards! He got rid of João Ricardo Vieira, and Craig couldn’t have been more overjoyed that the world standings shifted. That’s the difference between a real pro announcer and this clown. A real pro wouldn’t be declaring his love for one athlete over another, and be beside himself because his favorite moved up to #1.
• In spite of not being in the top 15, Alves and Pacheco were given a chance to ride because two riders were out of the Championship Round. They decided against it. It’s a mystery.

• “And speaking of outstanding, J.B. Mauney…” Justin leads into how they’d like J.B. to ride Long John.
• Then we were shown a couple of adoring tweets about J.B. They’re never gonna show one that questions the impartiality of the judges.
• At the top of Round 2, the conversation turns to J.B.
• “What does J.B. do to impress the judges?” asks Craig. That, my friend, is the million dollar question. Basically, all he has to do is show up at the event.
• “Nobody has been better than J.B. for the last few years,” says Justin, who clearly hasn’t been paying attention for the last few years. He then proceeds to explain what happens when J.B. lifts his arm over his head. It’s simple: the judges give him more points.
• After Ryan Dirteater’s attempt on Palm Springs, Craig thinks Ryan “took a page out of J.B.’s book, throwing his arm back.” Because god forbid anyone should think that any other rider also throws his arm back regardless of what J.B. does, because of course the world revolves around J.B.
• “J.B. Mauney and João Ricardo Vieira in a slugfest,” is how The Bummer characterizes what’s happening, talking about how Vieira “could slip to #2 or even #3” because of J.B. What he really means because of the J.B. fans in the judging hats.
• “J.B. Mauney still to come. He’s one ride away from possibly overtaking and moving into the #1 position.”—The Bummer. As if J.B. couldn’t possibly get bucked off. Of course, we all know that if he stays on a bull, he’s automatically getting a high score to help him to the #1 spot.
• “Matt Triplett is becoming almost like a carbon copy of J.B. Mauney.”—Craig, who’s wearing J.B.-colored glasses and insulting Matt in the process, by not giving him his due.
• “We’ll find out if with another ride J.B. Mauney can move into that #1 spot…” – Craig. As if there’s any real suspense. We all know what the judges are going to do.
• “Coming up, the fan favorite from North Carolina.”
• “J.B. Mauney just seems to want it more!”
• “One of the best we’ve ever seen in the sport!”
• More praise. Saying J.B. was the only guy who rode Bushwacker. That’s Craig’s fantasy, and he’s sticking to it—never mind reality. Once again: Markus Mariluch and Thiago Paguioto have ridden Bushwacker. J.B. had bad timing for the nod, just as Beef Cake leaped up in the chute. Shorty said he didn’t think J.B. nodded. Love is blind. J.B. challenged the call, but the nod was clear as day on the replay. He got bucked off, dudes; get over it. It happens to all riders. Oh, but I forgot: he’s Superman. “J.B. Mauney is gonna compose himself and get ready for another…” says Craig as we see J.B. being pissed off back behind the pen.
• And then we had to hear Hummer talk about J.B. again, “lurking.” He avoided saying that Mauney got bucked off in Round 2.
• We also heard how “Jeremiah took care of Shane Proctor, J.B. Mauney’s brother-in-law.” In case we forgot who J.B. Mauney is, we’re back to that obnoxious identification meant to tell us who Shane Proctor is. Any excuse to say His name.
• “Meanwhile, J.B. Mauney’s got some redemption on his mind…”
• Of course J.B. is “swinging for the fences” by picking Long John for the final round. McBride predicts a 90+ score. What a genius. “He’s one place behind João Ricardo Vieira; already has 100 points…”
• Frantic Craig: “J.B. Mauney does it again! The fans wanted it, Mauney wanted it…and it goes to the hands of the judges.” Well, we know where that’s going: 92.25.
• More babbling about J.B. “But Mauney—he is a giantkiller.” Craig is bent on making this guy immortal.
• Back from commercial – more babbling about J.B.
• While Eduardo Aparecido was wrapping on No Regrets in the Championship Round, Hummer blathered on about J.B. Aparecido made several miraculous recoveries, for an excellent 87.75 ride.
• Craig for some unknown reason had to mention J.B. again while Fabiano Vieira was having a hard time with Red Rover.
• More crap from Craig about slaying dragons.

And finally:

Eduardo Aparecido wins Thackerville. “But just as big a story is the fact that J.B. Mauney is going to be our new world’s #1.”—Hummer, practically drooling. God forbid he should give the winner more than a split second in the spotlight when his man crush is around.
So of course they interviewed J.B. instead of Eduardo, and frankly, J.B. needs a new script. I’m sick of hearing the same thing over and over.
Any newcomer to the sport would’ve thought J.B. won the event. Nicely done, judges. You handed Mauney another two rounds to get him to the top of the leaderboard.

As Craig put it, “There has been a Teutonic shift in the plates.” ROTFL!

Posted in Built Ford Tough Series, Bull Riding, cowboys, PBR | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments


“After all the flash and thunder” (to quote John Fogerty’s song, “Mystic Highway”) of the PBR, it’s easy to forget how bull riders start. It’s not glamorous, and sometimes the bulls don’t even have names, but it’s where you can see who’s not cut out for the sport and who’s going places.

The Painted Pony Rodeo of Luzerne, NY (yes, that’s right: NEW YORK) has been producing grassroots bullriding events all over the Northeast for the past—well, let’s put it this way: according to its website, it’s the oldest weekly rodeo in the U.S.  Shawn Graham is the boss, and he’s been working it since 2001. Painted Pony has sent bulls and broncs to the PRCA Wrangler National Finals, and has won several Stock Contractor of the Year titles from the American Professional Rodeo Association.

The Dutchess County Fair event was SEBRA-sanctioned (Southern Extreme Bull Riding Association), and attracted riders from New York and Pennsylvania—as well as transplants from Mexico and Cuba. For a $60 entry fee, riders had a crack at $1,000. This year’s SEBRA rankings include Gage Gay at #51, who’s obviously been busy elsewhere!

On Sunday, the final day of the fair, bullriding was scheduled for noon and 6pm. I always go to the final day of an event, so I made the 6:00.

They wet down the dirt, then raked it, and minutes later it poured like hell. Somebody didn’t listen to the weather report. They could’ve saved themselves all that trouble. It rained so hard, I thought they might cancel because of the dangerous footing, but Painted Pony’s policy is “rain or shine.” The emcee/DJ was on the ball: instantly we started hearing songs with the word “rain” in them.

Note: I heard the most appalling sound I’ve ever heard from a loudspeaker: country disco. I couldn’t imagine a more abominable crossbreed. Thank god the emcee washed the taste out of my ears with a hiphop song done from a bullrider’s point of view. Now that’s interesting.

BTW, Flint Rasmussen needs to look over his shoulder. With a bit more material (he borrowed some of Flint’s!) and polish, “Danger” Dave Whitmore could take his place. His version of “Cotton-Eyed Joe” was a better/different dance routine. He’s the only person I’ve seen perform a backwards Worm. He does a spot-on imitation of Dwight Yoakum (in skinny jeans, with fake silver guitar). Plus he made an embarrassed quartet of State Troopers sing that stupid Journey song—the one famous line, anyway.

First bit of entertainment was that all the bulls—most without names, just numbers (bummer) were let into the ring so we could ogle them. Then they all were lured back to the pen, but the gate shut—on purpose—leaving behind the last guy, a one-horned spotted wonder named Jack and Coke (a crossbred Braemer, I think the emcee said, in his preacher cadence). The poor thing hung around the gate looking like a kid whose friends all suddenly deserted him. On the other hand, he might’ve been a troublemaker who can’t be penned with a roomie. Eventually he was allowed backstage.

Here are the 20 riders as listed, but there were some changes, so what you see here is not exactly correct.
Yorny Burgos (Cuba)
Allan Mansilla
Chris Tejero (Mexico)
Travis Finley
Kurt Engelhart
Melvin Velleda
Benjamin Havill
John Jazwinski (Marlborough, NY)
Nate Brown (Red Hook, NY)
Evaldo Silva
Jose Muralles
Toby Stover
Rusty Butler
Billy Love (Allentown, PA), first SEBRA member to ride both bulls and broncs, who last year broke his jaw and sternum riding at the Hartford County Farm Fair in Maryland.



Bull singing



Jack and Coke


rider lineup



Mike Adams (PA), RNCFR qualifier several times, in one round beat CBR’s Joe and Josh Frost (and that’s saying something!). He won the PRCA’s First Frontier Circuit championship and average, and qualified for the RAM National Circuit Finals, winning one round.

I hoped to see Carlos Garcia, SEBRA’s #13 guy, because he’s the only New Yorker I’ve seen in the PBR, but he wasn’t there.

Most of the scores were relatively low, and I’d have to say that was the bulls’ fault. First of all, it was hard to get them to look to the outside while the riders were wrapping; more than rider had to re-wrap.

Travis Finley’s bull practically stuck to the fence and had virtually no spin, so 76 was the score. Mike Adams was paired with Jack and Coke, who still wanted to get back into the pen; Adams got stuck with 77.50.

Steven Finley, a SEBRA National Finals qualifier earlier this year in Murfreesboro, TN, got “a little crumpled up,” as the announcer explained, when #51 threw him hard, and he couldn’t get up fast enough. His next trip was to Sports Medicine.

It was a bad luck day for one of the New York riders: the same bull bucked him off in both events.

For a moment there, I got excited because there was a lot of fanfare about how we were going to see freestyle bullfighting, but the real guys went on fake strike and refused. It was left to Danger Dave to show his prowess. Lots of buildup, then the gate finally opened and out strolled a cute minibull with not a care in the world. Dave went into action, trying to run over the bull’s back like Jesse Byrne does—but succeeded only in going flying and getting hooked in a very bad place. Or as he put it, “Dude, my check engine light is on!”

Cool ropin’: Chris Tejero from Mexico (via Pennsylvania), SEBRA Finals qualifier in Pennsylvania and RAM Finals qualifier in Oklahoma City, is a Charro: a trick roper. He demonstrated nifty ways to use a looped rope, including spinning it in spirals and jumping through it while spinning. I mean his whole body through it in mid-air. Charro trick roping is a Mexican tradition that Chris is carrying on from his father. He didn’t have such good luck on his ride, though. The bull stalled out at one point, and a bullfighter had to push it back into action. Tejero was offered a choice of 68 points or a re-ride; he declined the re-ride. Ty Murray’s head would explode. ”Back when I was ridin’ bulls…”

Jamie Griswold’s bull tried rocketing up out of the chute while Griswold (a New Yorker) was trying to get ready, then after the buckoff, wanted a piece of everybody, and eventually was the only bull to slip in the mud. Nothing serious, though.

Cuban Yorny Burgos, now a New Yorker, won the 12:00 bull riding. In this later round, he almost lost his seat as his bull bobbled, but when the bull went into a spin, he settled in for the ride, and scored 83.

In the Short Go, Griswold got probably the worst boo-boo of the evening: #51 bucked him back into the chute; he was slammed and couldn’t get up for a couple of minutes. While Sports Medicine tended to him in there, #51 was giving the outrider a hard time; there’s one in every crowd. Rope or no rope, he wasn’t going to exit. Finally the rider moved on ahead through the chute into the back pen, dragging the bad boy behind him.

#326 burst out of the gate and caught a little air—then Chris Tejero’s spur caught a little rope. After the buckoff there was a pile-up. One bullfighter got in the bull’s face while the other put his body between them and Tejero; seeing it up close, you really get how impressive these guys are.

Adams rode Quartermark, sort of—he clearly hit the ground before 8 seconds, but instead of a DQ he was given an 84. Well, that’s one advantage to grassroots bullriding.

It looked like Burgos was on track to win, but in the Short Go his bull started bucking him off in the chute, and it didn’t get any better on the dirt.

Best ride of the evening, for the win, was Travis Finley’s trip on a quick spinner; he spurred away, the ride was scored 87, and a bullfighter got airlifted—even at the grassroots level, that’s fun to see.

Posted in Bull Riding, cowboys | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

[NASHVILLE] get it?


  • First tweet about the Nashville event: a photo of J.B.
  • “Speaking of winning, J.B. Mauney has been doing a lot of that lately.”—Craig Hummer
  • “J.B. Mauney, nobody’s been hotter right now.” – Justin McBride
  • “Nobody’s hotter than J. B. Mauney right now.” – Chad Berger
  • “It seems to be the theme that not only is everybody harping on but also emphasizing.” –Hummer. I laughed out loud. Does he even know what “harping on” means?
  • Showing a videoclip of a previous ride: J.B., who is 10 for 12, on Percolator. “He also has rode the bull before. You couldn’t have blew him out of there with a cannon.”—Cody Lambert. Forget Where’s Waldo; how many Krazy Kowboy verbs can you spot?
  • “He’s got a little bit of ego.” – McBride re J.B.
  • “J.B. Mauney just seems to want it more!”—Hummer, who seems to want it more.
  • “A dangerous J.B. Mauney has returned to the scene, and he’s red hot.”—Voiceover.
  • “There’s a real possibility we could see J.B. Mauney leapfrog João Ricardo Vieira this weekend.”—Craig, rubbing his magic lamp.
  • “Let’s show you how J.B. Mauney got here.”—Craig. As if we don’t know.
  • “He doesn’t quite make the whistle on this one, but…” Even when J.B. gets bucked off, one of his Fan Boys, this time Ty Murray, makes it sound like an exceptional ride.
  • We also were treated to the usual unfavorable comparison, this time by Justin McBride, between João Ricardo Vieira and J.B. According to Cody Lambert, “J.B. don’t care, he can ride bulls in any direction”—which he didn’t. More: “He has a mental block” about riding bulls away from his hand. Cody conveniently ignored the ride João made last week away from his hand.
  • “But now he goes up against a rival that’s a little bit different.”—Craig, blowing more hot air about his hero J.B., and in the process insulting Douglas Duncan, who at some previous event didn’t score on the bull J.B.’s about to face. “Listen to the music!” Hummer exclaims rapturously as J.B. wraps. Apparently Elvis is in the building.
  • B.’s even in one of the commercials: he’s the first face we see in the Mule Pro-Fx ad.


  • “Who will walk away as the #1 ranked rider in the world?” babbles The Bummer, completely misleading the CBS national audience with his overheated blathering about J.B.—as if a Mauney win and the 2015 World Championship are in the bag. Newsflash, child: this isn’t Las Vegas, it’s Nashville. It doesn’t determine the #1 rider.
  • Get this: Fabiano Vieira still can’t use his free arm properly, reinjured it a week ago, and had to sit out a round. He said he’s 100% now, and had perfect positioning on Rusty, for 87 points. And what does Ty Murray say? “When J.B. Mauney’s in the groove, that’s what it looks like.” Could we please have one fucking sentence without J.B. in it??
  • “I call him [Aparecido] Fast Eddie because Brazilians traditionally take more time in the chutes.”—Cody Lambert, confirming that all Brazilians are the same, all Americans are fast in the chute and should be scored higher than Brazilians, and Brazilians should be put on the clock as much as possible. Three times, in this event. Craig, on the other hand, prefers to call him “Sly Eddie.” No explanation given. It’s probably just as well.
  • Kaique Pacheco took on Loco Freak, a Jerome Davis bull. “He lets his rider do his talking,” babbles Hummer. Who knows what the hell he meant, but what a ride! Hummer again: “Loco Freak got a little freaky on the dirt, but it’s the Brazilian who will have the final say.” I’m starting to think that half the time he says “the Brazilian” because he can’t remember a guy’s name. 80.25 was a cheap score. The bull was a smartass; kept fast-faking in each direction. Ty nailed it: “That bull changed direction nine times, but he was going in only one direction.”


Cash Ya Out came down on his side right out of the gate, squash-landing on J.B.’s left knee, the one with a previously torn ACL, and the injured ankle. J.B. went hobbling down the corridor to Sports Medicine. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him walk normal in his whole career,” said Ty. He’s not far off. The left ankle put J.B. out of competition. Craig, talking about bulls: “The other thing they can’t read is Hollywood scripts, and that’s what J.B. was writing for himself.” Dude, they can’t read, period, and it’s not J.B. that’s writing the script.

Quick as a wink, J.B.’s back on crutches, left leg in a cast. Craig was probably in tears. J.B. already missed 6 events because of his left knee.


In Round 1, the top 4 in the world made rides.

  • “Let’s do our part to try to shift the attention to some of the other guys for a minute,” says Hummer, the main offender when it comes to obsessive focus. A minute is all he could handle.
  • “Any time there’s more money, you have to try harder,” says one of the top 5. What kinda attitude is that to carry into combat? If there’s less money at stake, you slack off?
  • Silvano Alves got slammed against the fence. He’s definitely not back to his riding standard. Aaron Roy had a bad buckoff into the chute, right against his hip.
  • Nathan Schaper right now has a 42.19% riding percentage, and apparently can ride in either direction. Father Shadow had an awkward out, and Nathan didn’t look great, either, but 83.50 counts. And besides, who doesn’t like to see that Schaper smile?
  • Leah Garcia’s a true pro: she fell, racing to the other side of the arena to interview Nathan, and was smooth even with messy hair. The interview was the goal. Can you imagine Erin Coscarelli in that situation? “Back to you, Craig.”
  • Hummer characterized J.W. Harris as “cool as a big block of ice.” J.W. and Stuntin’ Like My Daddy should’ve been a great combo, but J.W. got bucked off quickly, and boy, was he mad. I was a little mad at him myself. The bull scored 44, and J.W. didn’t get squat. Craig reveals the shocking secret of bull riding: “This is a sport where we always say, 50% is the bull underneath you.” Master of the Obvious.
  • At the end of Fabiano Vieira’s Round 4 ride on Hot & Juicy, the arena clock showed 8, and—shocker!—the replay clock did, too! But the judges still reviewed his ride twice before scoring him that good ol’ Silvano standby: 84.50. Comic moment: Vieira’s straw hat took such a beating, it looked like a 5-year-old made it at arts & crafts camp.
  • For a second or two, Robson Aragao was riding Smooth Operator backwards. Cool.
  • In Round 8, Fabiano Vieira rode Strong Heart for more than 8 seconds, and 85.50. Landing on the bull’s head was an impressive getoff. But in the final round, the terrible entrance on Sasquatch (who’s 2 for 17) screwed him.


  • McBride put his foot in his mouth (again), predicting that one of the top guys will win this event, and then probably the title, but you never know if there’s a dark horse… And then later, Whoops, there it is: “We’ve got us a little dark horse up here: Eduardo Aparecido.”
  • “Percolator is no match for J.W. Harris,” proclaims Craig I-grew-up-without-a-dictionary Hummer. He thinks this means the bull kicked J.W.’s ass. Somebody ‘splain it to him; I’m tired.


  • Comanche stumbled down, so a lot of people thought Shane Proctor should’ve had a re-ride—but the replay showed a touch between the bull’s horns at 7.99. Shane declined the re-ride. How was he offered a re-ride in the first place? We’re always told a rider has to make 8 to be offered the re-ride, unless he was fouled.
  • Sure looked like Cody Nance’s spur was hooked before he came out of the gate on Semper Fi. The clock stopped for a touch; the ride reviewed. They decided there was no touch, but was his hand still in the rope? Did he ride for 7.98 or 8? Here’s where the difference between the two clocks is unacceptable. They scored him 87.75 for a ride that was nearly a DQ!


  • Somebody please tell Cody Lambert the bull’s name is Per-ko-lay-ter, not Per-cue-later! It’s driving me crazy!
  • Chad Berger has every right to sing the praises of his bull Smooth Operator. Those were some impressive video clips of that fast whip while the bull’s spinning at 100mph.
  • And then there was that to-die-for clip of Air Time doing his wild thing…
  • Who Dey looked fast even in slow motion. If Robson Aragao had been wearing a rider cam, I’d have been dizzy enough to throw up.
  • OMG! Stop the presses! The “Great out of the Gate” moment spotlighted an entity other than J.B. Mauney: I’m A Gangster Too. I didn’t know bulls were eligible, but a lot of them deserve it.
  • Even better: the Athlete Profile was of the top bulls. The bovines are getting some play!


  • Why all these switched deliveries? Why was Fire Rock’s changed to a right hand delivery? Does it have anything to do with João Ricardo Vieira being left-handed? “He’s rode him before,” Justin managed to get in while Ty was harping on that thing Vieira’s got to fix. That thing the #1 guy in the world’s not doing right. Yeah.
  • Matt Triplett was directing Say I Won’t Playboy’s positioning in the chute, and nobody was telling him to get out. He asked to rewrap and the judges allowed it. Even Ty proclaimed, “Triplett needs to hurry in there.” But was Matt put on the clock? Nooo…
  • Craig said putting people on the clock was a new addition in the past few years. I wonder why.
  • This is why you don’t interview “home state favorite” Cody Nance if you can help it: he starts spouting about The Lord right off the bat. That is not a sports interview, dude. Save it for Cowboy Church. There’s a time and a place.
  • Pound the Alarm, who’s 8 for 20, went speeding around and around under Eduardo Aparecido, whom Ty called “Perfect. You just can’t make a ride better than that.” Tell that to the judges: they gave him an 89.50—just couldn’t stretch to a 90 because…
  • Nice to have a little bit about Kaique included in the voiceover “coming right up” thing.


Matt Triplett faced Air Time in Round 6. Craig said the bull beat Renato. I thought Nunes was the only one to ride him. I was right: Renato scored 92.50 on Air Time in March 2014, in Phoenix; Air Time was 45.50. This time the bull scored 45.25.


I don’t know what Ty’s problem is, but his comments on Robson Aragao are just as inexcusable as the shit he spewed about Silvano when Alves was about to be World Champion again, despite the judges’ pro-Mauney maneuvering. Murray owes Spiderman an apology for calling him “the guy with least amount of experience and least amount of talent.” He said that talentwise, Robson’s in over his head, but is putting in the work. Condescending prat. Aragao was one of the Final 4, with Stetson Lawrence, Kaique Pacheco, and Fabiano Vieira.


Hummer trying to be a sportscaster, filling time while Triplett farts around in the chute: “Let’s see whether he goes on the offense or the defense side of the equation.” Are we talking football or math? Well, this clears it up: “That was a very offensive ride by Triplett.” Don’t know why Craig was so put out; the ride merited an 86.75.


Percolator, who was 13/35, bolted down the arena, running, jumping, kicking, and forgetting to spin. Maybe he just didn’t know what to do with a guy he thought should’ve been bucked off much earlier. The bull’s score was a miserable 37.50, but Pacheco won the day. A pack of Brazilians flooded the field, hoisted him up on their shoulders, and carried and bounced him toward the Shark Cage. He looked ecstatic. Imagine being 20 and having a flock of World Champions parading you across an arena? Big shock was McBride hugging him. Well, after one look at Kaique’s cherubic face, how could he not?


Fabiano: 750 points, Pacheco: 550, for the win. That’s how the screwy new points system works. Kaique is now #3 in the world, Fabiano is #5.

Posted in Built Ford Tough Series, Bull Riding, cowboys, PBR | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

No Surprises in Tulsa

TULSA            8-15-15

So I watched the last day of PBR’s Tulsa event, and when I heard these gems from The Bummer, I knew who was going to win, no matter which bull he rode or how he rode. I might as well have turned off the TV five minutes into the broadcast.

  • “J – B – Mauney just seems to want it more!”—Craig yelping about his superhero, and in the process, insulting the World #1.
  • “Is he on his way to a 2nd gold buckle” And I suppose Joâo Ricardo Vieira is not?
  • “Can do no wrong,” because apparently he’s a saint.
  • Craig asks Shorty about the Tulsa crowd, then immediately switches the topic to JB.
  • “His time in Tulsa could become an instant classic.” (There’s no such thing. It’s either instant or it’s a classic. You can’t tell if something’s a classic until it’s stood the test of time, you fool.)
  • Re Joâo Ricardo Vieira: “He’s starting to hear not only footsteps but The Mauney Freight Train charging up behind him.”
  • “It seems that JB Mauney has a heightened sense of…” I don’t remember if he said ambition or drama or what, but that was the gist—basically a variation of “when the lights shine the brightest…bla bla bla.
  • Aaaand of course, the “Great Out of the Gate” ride was JB’s 92 on Percolator in Biloxi.
  • “In 2013 fan favorite JB Mauney made history by staging one of the biggest comebacks in sports…” This guy is delirious. PBR has been staring at their navels for so long, they think bull riding is the entire history of sports.
  • “Viera can’t help but think he’s feeling the pressure from JB.” Hummer can’t help but think about anything else but JB—he sees the entire world through the lens of his hero. Not to mention that it’s utterly obnoxious to presume to know what Vieira is thinking or feeling.
  • “JB Mauney in 5th” (Never mind mentioning #1, 2, 3, 4.)
  • “JB Mauney after the summer break seems to put on the cape and becomes Superman.” (Oh my god, could it be any clearer that Craig wants to see him in his underwear?)
  • …”and then it will all be up to JB Mauney”
  • “…the meat of the lineup—including 2013 World Champion JB Mauney.” Never mind including 3-time—some say 4-time—World Champion Silvano Alves in the house. (And about the choice of the word “meat”…)
  • Back from commercial: “Last week J B Mauney won…yadda yadda yadda”
  • “Remember, JB Mauney has been a fast mover, and has held the hot hand since we came back from the summer break.” How could we forget, with you yapping about it every second? And I’m sure a certain person would love to hold that hot hand.
  • “He’s got the win in the books, but now everyone wants to see fireworks.”
  • “The Champion has already been decided, but JB wants more than the Tulsa win, he wants a second gold buckle.” (Usually it’s called “the winner,” but not if it’s JB.)
  • “The BOK Center salutes one of the greatest we’ve ever seen in this sport!” (accompanied by copious amounts of saliva)
  • “JB Mauney seems to find more ways to impress than we can even think of.” Oh, I don’t know; I’m sure that between the judges and the scriptwriters, they can come up with a few more tricks.
  • “No one seems to be more invincible…”
  • “But it’s not enough to supplant JB Mauney.”
  • “Our Super 8 Ride of the Day has to be the winning ride.”
  • “…heading towards what looks like a 2nd gold buckle.” Again, insulting the #1 guy

Add to that:

  • The Athlete Profile, as if we don’t get enough of him, is JB. Never mind the #1 guy.
  • The voiceover on return from a commercial: “A dangerous JB Mauney returned to the scene last week…”

Could it be any clearer who’s the PBR’s favorite and that they will do anything to make him #1 in peoples’ minds—not to mention on the leaderboard? Is there any other sport in which commentators and judges blatantly favor one athlete over everyone else?

For those of you who were able to detect that there actually were other riders in the event, here’s some of what happened:

Austin Meier has announced his retirement, so of course, what PBR shows are the brutal injuries he’s suffered, including the time he was groaning in pain in the chute. God forbid they show him coming in at #2 in the Finals. Austin looked a lot happier and healthier in his interview with Leah Garcia.

Ben Jones did not outhustle American Hustler (jeez, I’ve caught the Hummerblather disease), but at least he doesn’t have a broken bone in his foot, which would make it impossible to ride. Even a broken leg is preferable, according to J.W. Hart: “Just about everybody’s rode with a broke leg, a broke ankle.” (For those who care: ridden and broken)

Renato Nunes won the Tulsa event last year. Did they make a big fuss over him this year? Not on Sunday; I don’t know about Friday and Saturday, but even money says No. Unfortunately, on Shotgun Ride, it looked like he just gave up when the bull turned right.

Silvano Alves rode Corpus Red for—gee, big shocker! 84.50 points. I’m having flashbacks to 2013. We can expect a highly engineered couple of months.

Gage Gay, with a 21.43% riding percentage, has been having enough highs and lows to give anyone whiplash. This time Sambo bucked him off, and as Gage was leaving the dirt, the bull suddenly charged after him, sending him scrambling up the fence.

When Rubens Barbosa came to Colorado, he’d been off the BFTS for 2 years. Welcome back, Brasiliero: he got put on the clock. He made his ride on Thunder Head look easy, which is why he was scored just 83.50.

Aarrgghh! Robson Palermo said that after Round 1 he had butterflies in his stomach. He still has pain in his shoulder—well, who wouldn’t, with steel pieces in there. He made a clunky ride, but the clock said 8 when he touched the bull, and a tie goes to the rider. Then the ride was reviewed, and a different clock showed a different time (7.98), which meant no score.

Look, it’s one of two things: either one of the clocks is fucked up and judges can use that to the advantage of whoever they want, or there’s a human thumb on a stopwatch, which is completely unacceptable, and also a way to fudge the time. Clearly they don’t want the clocks in sync. If both clocks were synchronized, and there was no room for human error (or sluggishness), I wonder which riders would’ve made more scores, and which riders would’ve won certain events. There’s always something slimy going on with the PBR.


Robson Aragao, who rode Lane’s Magic Train for 87.50 in the Championship Round, does indeed have some moves, not just on the bull. The reason JDub doesn’t like them is probably because he doesn’t know how to move his hips like Spiderman. Judging from that little display, Aragao would be a lot of fun on the dance floor.

Ryan Dirteater’s riding percentage is 33.33%, and this is one example why: he hung onto Bad Moon Rising even sideways, and wouldn’t let go until he scored: 73.75, but better a score than none.


Slinger, Jr. sure did sling Stormy; Wing must’ve been 12 feet in the air, which is what you’d expect from someone with that name.

Emilio Resende tried every possible maneuver to stay on Legacy, a bull with a lot of tricks, with no luck.

Ripslinger launched Brady Sims after just a few turns.

Crazy Horse shoveled Reese Cates in the midsection and threw him up in the air after Cates scored 87.50. JDub’s quote about Reese: “It’s money or mud with him, damage or dust, the chicken or the feathers.”

Raven Flyer forced Fabiano Viera to dismount by grabbing onto the chute, for which Fabiano received a Silvano score of 83.

Semper Fi pulled Luis Blanco down and bounced him off his back. JW compared the bull to his dad, Little Yellow Jacket, and said the bull’s move reminded him of how Little Yellow Jacket bucked off Chris Shivers.

Air Time delivered an enormous roll as he left the chute, dumping Luis Blanco and nearly coming down himself. Score: 44.50. Reminder: only Renato Nunes has ever ridden him.

A rider’s average score on Shaft is 89.8. Again, this is one of the monsters that only Renato has tamed.

Boot Jack launched Michael Lane pretty high, scoring 44.75.

Long John has what JW calls dropkick. I call it deep moves. He also said Silvano made a great ride in the earlier round, but was given 84.50. You know how bad the situation is when a PBR stalwart says Alves was underscored. Bull score: 45.50


Apparently 20-year-old rookie Kaique Pacheco, Blue Def Velocity Tour leader, is even quieter than Silvano Alves. How is that even possible, unless he uses sign language?


JW Harris says he never learned how to tuck and roll after a dismount, and doesn’t want to; he said he’s so mad coming off the bull…“He’s got too much cowboy in him to let go,” JDub explained. That’s why Harris gets slammed when he gets off his bulls, in this case, Hy Test in Round 2.


Mike Lee has been on a buckoff streak, bringing his riding percentage down to 29.09% As he was getting ready on Little Z (Pick of the Pen), he yelled something and pointed at a guy nearby. After he scored 86.25, he told Leah the guy must’ve been drinking; he had to tell him to be quiet, because he couldn’t focus. Don’t think I’ve ever seen that happen before. The bull proved to be a merry-go-round with Lee stuck on top. While Mike chugged through his victory lap, the bull came around from the other direction, and if it weren’t for Frank Newsom, there would’ve been a head-on collision.


In spite of all the grousing the Booth Boys do about Joâo Ricardo Vieira not being able to ride bulls away from his hand, he did. Both JW and I thought he might get a re-ride, because Ranger was sluggish and unimaginative. Instead, the result was 80.25 and no re-ride option.


Fabiano Vieira was out of the final round because he aggravated his shoulder injury. Aarrgghh! After watching him painfully riding with his free arm held to his body, then gradually improving and making rides, to being almost normal, then kaflooey– I can’t stand it.

Robson Palermo’s shoulders have been reassembled with metal. On one hard landing, he bent the screw in his right arm. “That’s just a whole new meaning for bull riders to say they have a screw loose,” was JW’s crack, almost in real English. Meanwhile, the chute bully was telling Robson he has to go—on the clock, down to 10 seconds. Robson hung on through a tight spin, then was flipped up and out the back door by Vegas Outlaw.


Eduardo Aparecido was completely in charge of Shoot Out the Lights; 84.75 was too low for that ride.

Cody Lambert speaketh the gospel truth: “J.B. Mauney got lucky to ride Bushwacker.”  Said JW Hart, “That’s strong words, coming from a guy who’s ridden a whole lotta rank bulls.” Can I get an Amen!?

Here’s the cockeyed way the PBR sees American riders, compared to Brazilian riders: talking about JB’s matchup with Gentleman Jim, JW Hart says, “The challenge isn’t big enough for him.” So that’s why JB was scored 86, not winning the round. If the challenge wasn’t big enough for Alves, they’d be saying he picked an easy bull, and he’d get an 84.

With this new points system, all the judges have to do is score JB higher right off the bat, and he’s guaranteed a round win, which racks him up those round points and pushes him up the ladder.

JW Hart said Smooth Operator’s the toughest bull in the draft, the one the guys are scared of the most, that’s why he was the last one left (lucky Emilio). This contradicts all their b.s. about how JB picks the toughest bulls, because he chose DaNutso instead—you know, a bull he knew he could ride. But when a Brazilian rider picks a bull he knows he can ride, all the talk is about how he didn’t “step up.”

“There are no easy bulls in this championship round,” declared JW, then said that Magic Train’s style doesn’t fit Robson Aragao. Yeah, the bull had a weird style, but it did fit Robson. Or rather, Aragao can handle tough bulls. That’s why he scored 87.50 The judges reviewed the ride for a touch, though. Sez genius Hummer, “Oddly enough in Round 2, Aragao had to go through the same thing.” Oddly enough? It’s simple: the judges don’t want him at the top of the leaderboard.

I don’t know what possessed Reese Cates to pick Mississippi Hippy in the Championship Round. As Craig put it, “Reese Cates just tried to ride a skyscraper.” Frank the Tank got smacked down, too.

I didn’t see Eduardo Aparecido touch Brown Sugar at 6.93; I saw it at 8. The ride was reviewed. Funny thing; only Brazilian riders were put on the clock, and only Brazilians had their rides reviewed.

After Shane Proctor got bucked off by Who Dey in the Championship Round, JB won the round without even having to ride, which of course Hummer couldn’t help crowing about. Gee, it was such a surprise that the judges didn’t score anyone over the 91.25 they gave JB in Round 1. And we’re supposed to think that every 90-point ride Mauney makes IS a 90-point ride.

The final (and very telling) word, from JDub: “Hollywood can’t script this better.” Yeah, the PBR sure is giving the Writers Guild a run for their money.

And now, Rosinette predicts Nashville:

My fellow bull riding fans, allow me to save you a few hours of your life this weekend. I can tell you, with almost certainty, what’s in store at the PBR Nashville event.

This is how it will all play out:

Leading up to the Nashville event, we will see fluff stories centered around J.B. Mauney with no apparent purpose other than to push the tired storyline on us yet again.

Exhibit A:  Mauney’s Free-Arm Movement A Major Benefit

They will try to brainwash us into thinking JB won the World Championship last year instead of acknowledging Silvano’s historic third World Championship title. Oh wait, that already happened last week. If you watched carbon TV coverage of the Tulsa event, you saw the rehash of the year JB “won” the world title.  They are trying very hard to make viewers forget about Silvano’s win last year and make you think that JB is the current champion.  Um, no.

This weekend, they’ll run endless promos with JB as the focus, the storyline being that he is the king of everything; a superhero who is “smart” when he doesn’t pick the toughest bull in the pen. At the same time, others (ahem, foreign-born riders) will be severely criticized and scrutinized if they don’t pick the rankest bull.

Craig Hummer, bless his little heart, will lose his shit on Twitter and on-air about how JB is going to “slay another dragon.” He will hashtag to the high heavens every possible complimentary thing he can muster in 140 characters. He will have no shame and make a complete fool of himself by putting his obsession on display for all to see.  Exhibits B & C:

(Is anyone else wondering if he’s getting paid to be the hype man for JB? I’m serious; is he on JB’s payroll or something?)

Despite being a commentator who should be held responsible for maintaining a professional, objective posture while conducting his job, Hummer will proudly show his bias and subjectivity and, because he cannot seem to tone it down, he will tell us what we already know: that the PBR has every intention of orchestrating a World Championship for JB this year via 90+ scores, change in the points system, and  slap/chute/clock rules that don’t seem to apply to him.

Finally, the PBR will drum up some drama and fake competition between JB and Silvano to push their storyline, with the goal of making us think that 1) Silvano is done and 2) JB is a god.

Exhibit D:  They’ve purposely put Silvano and JB on the same side of the bracket for Nashville’s Music City Knockout so they can pit them “head-to-head.”

It’s the same old song and dance, so save yourself the headache.  You’re welcome.

Posted in Built Ford Tough Series, Bull Riding, cowboys, PBR | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wyatt Rogers: Youngest rookie ever to ride in the Championship Bull Riding Finals

Wyatt Rogers is the youngest rookie ever to ride in the Championship Bull Riding Finals. He turned 18 last October, and a week later had his card, his first CBR event title, his first professional 90-point score, and the CBR’s richest purse—all before he graduated high school. Right now, he has a 52.38% riding percentage.

The 90-Point Club

In his first Championship Bull Riding appearance in Mercedes, Texas, the Cherokee boy from Locust Grove, Oklahoma, scored 92 points on Boomer, won almost $43K, and beat out 5 world champions, the top 5 PRCA riders, and 6 other rookies. He followed up that feat with a pair of 90s, on Firehouse and White Wolf, in El Paso and Las Vegas. When I told Wyatt that he was in the 90-Point Club listed on the CBR website, he didn’t seem impressed with himself. “My first 90-point ride was when I was 15 years old, on a PBR bull, for 92, at a local bullriding. Three times, is what you said, on the CBR tour? CBR marks everyone really high.”

He was impressed with the bulls, though. “Getting on Boomer—that was at my very first event. Sage [Steele Kimzey] told me to pick him. He was owned by Brett Barrett, who told me he’s gonna be right there at the latch to the right, he’s gonna be really fun for me, and I should be a lot of points on him… He’s a little bull, small and quick. I remember thinking I was about to buck off, then all of a sudden I found that sweet spot and I knew I had him. White Wolf, he’s a great, giant bull; he weighs probably 2200 pounds. He came back to the right and spun really fast. He was so big, he just carried me around, and he felt really good. Firehouse is a bull not many people ride. He was pretty hard to ride; I was just hustling and staying loose.”
Would he like to get on them again? He chuckles. “You do 90 on them once, you can be 90 on ‘em again.”

Wyatt also likes Ragin’ JT, which is weird, considering that the bull bucked him off. I asked why. Another chuckle. “He’s so consistent; he’s just a great bucker every time. And I really need some redemption; I need to draw him to get to ride him. Brett Barrett said he won’t let me down.”

I asked about an uncharacteristic 74 he scored in Okechobee, Florida; was that a re-ride situation? “They didn’t give me an option for a re-ride. My bull just wasn’t much; he turned right just back at the latch, he was a flat spinner, and I got him rode. They weren’t marking any of the rides really high, so it was fair. That’s what I should’ve been: I should’ve been 74 points that day.” He’s pretty philosophical about the scoring. “I just go to ride my bulls, and I let the judges make their decision on what they think they should score me. I have no control over that.”

Teacher, May I Be Excused?

Most guys who ride in the CBR start out in the Horizon Series, then work their way up to the main tour—but those guys didn’t get a call from Tuff Hedeman during Ed class. “I was actually settin’ in my Ed class in school, and I got a weird number [on my phone] and I asked my teacher if I could answer it. Sure enough, it was Tuff Hedeman. I just got up and walked out of my classroom and left to where I could hear him—and that’s how I got the invitation to go to the CBR. I was pretty happy, I was smilin’ from ear to ear, and everyone was trying to figure out why I was smilin’ so big.”

I asked how Tuff found out about him. “I think he just got word of ear, from a guy named Scott Burruss who hauls ‘em everywhere…  He actually is good friends with Tuff. I’ve been on Scott’s bulls a couple of times and made some really good rides. He gave Tuff a call and told him that I could really make it on tour, and to give me one shot. Riders usually start out at the Horizon Series events; I actually went to my first Horizon Series after I went to the CBR tour. I feel really special ‘cause I know hardly anyone gets to do that.”

When I asked what message he’d like to put out, Rogers said,  “Just tell the kids out there that wanna grow up and be rodeo stars to never quit believin,’ and keep chasin’ their dream.”

This Is How We Do It

Wyatt described his riding style in terms of two role models: “I really try to follow Justin McBride; that’s who I grew up watching. He never rode much getting a hold with his feet; he went for balance, and that’s the way I ride. I don’t ever get a hold with my feet much. I took gymnastics when I was little, so I have really good balance, and grew up riding a horse all the time. I try to copy my spurring from Chris Shivers. You just gotta always keep moving your feet, and not just clamp down, which is what I’m doing right now.” I asked if he had a preference about a bull’s direction: he’s right-handed, so he prefers bull that go to the right, “but I ride just as well going to the left.” Not a lot of cowboys can say that.

It’s Not “If,” It’s “When”

Rogers rode in four more CBR events before he acquired a groin injury and had to lay off for a while. He enumerates the places he got bucked off: “Bossier City, fell off; Magnolia, fell off; Mulvane, fell off; Del Rio, fell off.” I almost laughed at how nonchalant he was about it.

He couldn’t “get busy” until last month; he spent time at home recuperating, then after July 2 was on the road non-stop—including the CBR Finals, where he came in 9th on the first night, with an 86 on No Hands, a Benny Cude bull he’d watched on the CBR tour before he was old enough to ride in it. In Round 2, he was in 24th place, and he didn’t make it to the semi-finals.

Was his injury still affecting him? “I’m just making stupid mistakes right now that I shouldn’t be making: settin’ on my pockets, not gettin’ up, not gettin’ it with my feet; trying to stay tight and not loose, just not ridin’ my bulls right. My groin is fine; I’m not using that as an excuse, but I’ll just have to figure it out. I feel like I’m 100% but I’m just trying to get back in the groove and work it out.”  I tell him that I sometimes the body just wants to protect itself from what happened to it. “That’s what everyone’s tellin’ me,” he acknowledges. “Without doing it on purpose, I’m protecting my groin and being hesitant.”

I asked Wyatt about the relatively new safety requirements for young riders. “I grew up wearing everything I’m wearing now: a helmet, vest, chaps, mouthpiece. I’ve worn it all since I was about 4 or 5 years old. I ride with a hockey helmet, which is different from most people. I just go to the roller rink and buy a hockey helmet. I don’t feel like I need to go buy a bullriding-approved helmet. I guess I just got used to it; the bars don’t bother me anymore; I see right through. Since I’ve been wearing it since I was little, I got used to wearing a helmet. If you first didn’t start wearing it, I could see how it could bother you quite a bit.”

After his injury, Wyatt had a game plan: the week before he went to the International Youth Rodeo Finals, he got on three practice bulls and four steers. “I rode every one of them before I came back and got on any rodeo bulls. I just had to know if I could still ride bulls before I came back and started riding again on TV!”

The Energizer Bunny

It’s pretty hard for Wyatt to stay dormant. “I’ve just always been a busy kid; I‘ve never had much time off. While I was growing up I was always playing sports: baseball, basketball, some football, and recently I’ve been trying golf, which is just a bunch of walking.” I agree: a bunch of walking, in ugly pants.  He’s about to start at Southeastern Oklahoma State University this month, well-known for its rodeo team, and plans on not only riding bulls but also steer wrestling, calf roping, and team roping.

“How do you have time to do homework?” I asked.

“I’ve always been smart in school,” he said. “This whole year I didn’t take one book home, and I still have managed to maintain a 4.0 grade point average for my senior year. My mother griped at me plenty; I think she got tired of griping and realized I was never gonna read a book.”

Movin’ On Up

Wyatt also rides in the PRCA, won his first event with an 81, and will ride in more. “They don’t have a break; you go year-round. Shane Proctor goes to almost twice as many rodeos as other guys.” Wyatt will ride in amateur rodeos, too. “Rodeo isn’t like any other sport. It’s not like baseball or football where you can’t go back down the levels.”

Normally Wyatt travels to CBR events either by himself or with his mother; to PRCA events, he travels with fellow bullriders Tate Stratton and Guthrie Murray. “We just knee up and go to PRCA events together,” he says. “They’re really good guys.”

I asked if working in bigger and bigger events makes him feel differently or prepare differently. “I just look at every event the same, and I go into every one of them the same,” he said. “I do my same routine as I would do at a high school rodeo. I love to ride bulls, I don’t care at what level, and I don’t think about it when I’m at the event. I just love to be there and I love getting on bulls.”

Interesting note about competition at the high school level: Sage Steele Kimzey [2014 CBR & PRCA Champ and PRCA Rookie of the Year] is the only rider to beat Wyatt; in his freshman year, Rogers came in second. This year he missed 13 high school rodeos going to professional events…it’s a hard knock life.

What about the kind of hazing new riders get on the pro circuit, with guys trying to make them nervous to the point of throwing up? “Yeah, they tried to get me to, at my first event in Mercedes, Texas,” he admits. “David Todd over at Cowboy Outfitters USA, and Cody Teel [two-time CBR Champion], they was trying to make me nervous, trying to get me to throw up, but I just looked at it as another bullriding that had $70,000 added instead of $500 added. David just tries to pressure you up: ‘You know, you’re at an event with $70,000 added, right? You’re gonna go showcase yourself, you know,’ and stuff like that. He’s really fun; I enjoy being around him; he’s funny.” Wyatt didn’t throw up. He won.

I asked about how the different organizations treated him. “They’ve accepted me pretty well; they just treat me like the normal rookie, play pranks on me and stuff like that. They’ll mess the clock around on you when you’re driving: when you go to sleep, they’ll fast-forward the clock to where it looks like they’ve been driving 3 or 4 hours, and then you have to drive again. Me and Cody Rostockyi [also on the CBR tour], we mess around with each other and play little bitty pranks: I actually hid some of his stuff before the Las Vegas CBR event: his gear bag; his helmet, his rope—it was scattered throughout the rodeo arena. I gave it to him in plenty of time for him to get ready, but he was freaking out for a little bit. I’m waitin’ on him to get me back; he told me in March he was going to; he still hasn’t done it, so…” Cody, take note: his guard might be down now.

The Future

“I plan on finishing college and then going for the PBR,” Wyatt says. “I had a plan with my Dad; that’s the plan we had imagined, so I’m just going to carry it out, and when it’s my time to go to the PBR and I feel like I’m ready, I’ll be able to buy my card and try to make it on tour.”

I joke about what he’d do if he gets a call from Ty Murray saying, “Come on, hurry up!” Wyatt laughs. “If that happens, I’ll just have to make that decision when the time comes.”

I asked a few silly questions, including what his favorite book was. “I haven’t read many books,” he says, “but To Kill A Mockingbird was pretty good.” His mom should be happy.

Posted in Built Ford Tough Series, Bull Riding, CBR, cowboys, PRCA, Tuff Hedeman, Tuff Hedemann | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bits and Pieces, Odds and Sods

(If you recognize the name of an album in the title above, and can name the band, you are an above-average human being.)


The BRHOF is starting work on building its new location in the Cowtown Coliseum, so now’s is the time to send in your dollars, folks. Contributions are tax-deductible, because The BRHOF is a 501c3 (nonprofit) organization. Here’s where you can donate or become a member: http://TheBullRidingHallofFame.com/
Email if you have questions: BullRidingHOF@yahoo.com.
Also, in September, members will be nominating bull riders for inclusion in The BRHOF, so if you want to vote, join up; there are different levels of membership.


Wait till you see what Pete Farley’s been doing in Australia. He’s bought some land and started his own business, K3F Custom Leather. Keep track of Pete on Facebook and see some examples of his work, including a filigreed belt with metallic underlay, chocolate borders and initials, and some snazzy chaps.


It happened back in May, but I like the photos so much I wanted to run them. Gottta love the expression on Aden, the furry one between Markus and barrel racer Megan Williams.

Markus will be riding in the PRCA for the rest of this year. Little known fact: under his beard, he has dimples. Shave, boy!

Markus and Megan Megan's amazing dress Bride and groom




Posted in Built Ford Tough Series, Bull Riding, CBR, cowboys, PBR, PRCA | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Delay in our regularly scheduled programming…

There will be a delay in my (semi-)regularly scheduled programming while I recover from a car accident concussion. If you saw what this message looked like before I corrected my typing, you’d understand.

For anyone whose phone number I took down, if I didn’t call you back, it’s because I reversed some digits and have been bothering strangers. Another symptom.

Hope to get back on track in a couple of days.

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Watch This Space

Yikes! Been too busy to post anything, but I do have a few tidbits coming up this weekend, so watch this space!

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