The boys in the booth opened with a hilarious school metaphor, followed by embarrassing slobber. And what’s with the choir in the background?
I like that we’re still seeing pink shirts and ribbons for Breast Cancer Awareness month, rather than it being just a one-day token gesture. I also like that the broadcast called attention to the Rider Relief Fund, which helped pay for Mike Lee’s brain surgery, and paid Joe Baumgartner’s bills during his surgery ordeal.
Here’s the amazing thing about bull riding: They can stretch 8 seconds (or less) per rider into a 2-hour production.
Because it’s NBC, Marty Snider is reporting instead of Leah Garcia. She has nothing to worry about…but I think the PBR brass ought to have shown some muscle with NBC and insisted on bringing in the sportscaster who actually knows the sport.
Guilherme’s goofy high-kicking jig after he rode Buffalo Hump, combined with putting on his hat by doing a handstand and dipping his head into it was the most original move I’ve seen.
• Wesley Laurenco’s shocking buckoff, thanks to Highway 12. We all very quickly got used to seeing him score, and expected him to ride everything. Obviously he had similar expectations; he was very p.o.’d.
• J.B.’s first crash was so bad, Ty Murray said, “Made me close my eyes—one of the worst wrecks I’ve seen.” And that is saying something–consider the source! To make J.B. able to ride with the A.C. separation inside his shoulder, the docs numbed his shoulder before every ride, so he could raise his free hand above his head. Last year, he was 8 for 8 at the Finals; it was sad to hear him say that this year, he just wants a ride. He did ride his last bull, for 86, and got an ovation as huge as if he’d taken the championship. Talking with Leah Garcia afterward, he said, “When I leave here, this Finals is forgot!” Well, yeah—he’s getting married this week.
• Travis Briscoe took Times Square, but was 0 for 5 here. What happened in between New York and Las Vegas??
• Austin Meier had a shocking buckoff when Pandemic, a powerful bull, went right instead of left as expected. He still got a lot of crowd noise, but his “It is what it is” statement afterward showed how bummed he was.
• The Valdiron/Voodoo Child matchup promised fireworks, but was possibly the fastest buckoff ever—right into the “atmosphere” on the dirt. And I can’t believe one not-so-hot trip takes that bull out of the running for Bucking Bull of the Year. That just ain’t right.
• Ned Cross has a broken nose and possible broken eye socket, needs X rays─ colliding with a bull’s skull will do that to you─ but will go to the hospital AFTER the short go. Does his mama know he’s doing this??
MORE SNAZZY COWBOY VERB TENSES, COURTESY OF TY MURRAY:
“Renato has stepped up and rode.”
“He’s went out and grabbed that…”
“The pressure of winning and losing has went away.”
I think the judges were being a bit too generous, giving Jordan Hupp 86.50 for riding RMEF Bugle, whose timing was regular as a rocking chair, Wiley Petersen 87 for a bull with regular timing and not much power, and in the Short Go, 91 for Mike Lee’s ride on Perfect Poison. These judges are definitely more generous with the Americans’ scores than they are with the Brazilians’. It took an amazing amount of strength for Alves to recover his position on Rewind after almost falling off the right side, but the judges rewarded him with only 85.50.
An announcer says “Silvaňo;” seconds later Hummer says “Silvano.” Maybe you guys should just call him “the guy who rode 5 out of his 6 bulls in the Finals.” And right after Renato wins the World Championship, that jackass Hummer is still mispronouncing “Nunes.” Arrgghh!
More inside-the-head stuff: “Sean Willingham was hoping to add to his totals…” Well, now that’s plumb crazy talk, Craig—ever’body knows that boy wants to subtract points from his totals; that’s sure ‘nough the reason he went to the Finals. Dang!
Hummer pulled out all the nitwit stops for the Finals. Delivered in his melodramatic announcer tone: “Every sport has its winners and losers. Every season has a beginning and an end.” Damn, he is so profound! Who the hell writes his crap? Either they’re stone drunk, or English is their third language.
Another goodie: “Chris Shivers is riding as well as he has in years to come and in years past.” Craig, dear, if you’re trying for one of those cool cowboy verb tenses, you flunked.
WORSE THAN CRAIG HUMMER??
NBC’s commentator, Marty Snider, made a completely WRONG remark about Renato’s hitting the challenge button in Greenville being a “no-no.” Hummer (of all people) had to clarify that it was not illegal, that the call was right, and Ty Murray reaffirmed it.
STOP AGGRAVATING US, GUYS!
We don’t get to see the first draft!
Moronic chatterbox announcers keep forgetting to tell us the scores!
That horrible fake rock music accompanying the film clip that TV viewers saw before intermission–who do they think they’re fooling?
Renato Nunes just won the world championship, Craig Bummer is still mispronouncing his name, and the f***in’ camera operator missed the backflip!! (But Austin Meier hawking a big juicy clam, they got.) Thank god for the second camera, and the director who obviously called the replay shot in a hurry: not only did we get to see the backflip, but also Nunes dodging the bull, who wasn’t real happy about delivering the championship to Nunes. (Kind of like being the losing pitcher in the final World Series game.) Ya gotta watch where ya flip, Renato!
Another bimbo in a tight, shiny black halter top, jeans falling down to her pubic bone, holding up a sign during the Short Go─ is the PBR aspiring to sink as low as possible? What, no pole dancers?
FUNNIEST COMMERCIAL IN THE PBR:
I’ve said it before, but it never gets old (for me, anyway): “Are you ready to get your mow on?” If the Provincetown queens heard this, they’d be cackling. And the tagline just reinforces it: “Mow with an attitude!” Hello, boys—we’re talking about cutting grass, not riding bulls. Or anything else.
AMEN TO THAT:
Snider asked Adriano why the Brazilians do so well in the Finals; what’s their motivation? Smart answer: “To make changes in our lives, and win money. A million dollars in the United States is like $3 million in Brazil.”
In the profile of Renato, echoing Adriano’s reply, he says, “The money can be used better in my country.”
SHORT GO HIGHLIGHTS:
I gotta say, McKennon had some pretty funny moves on Spit Fire, his legs going every which way in opposite directions.
After scoring 90.50 on Unabomber, Wesley Laurenco dismounted on his feet and ran off dancing—this is the guy who came to the States with his broken jaw wired shut, but cut off the wires himself because he couldn’t stand it anymore. Apparently it was interfering with his riding! Major Dude To Watch.
Robson’s well-deserved 91.25 on Gunpowder and Lead, the day after his awful wreck, exiting on a stretcher, and a night in the hospital. This time the judges did right by a Brazilian.
Major Payne gave Renato such a kick in the back of the head, Nunes was still rubbing it as he was being hoisted up on the other cowboys’ shoulders. Ya take the good with the bad, Renato!
One huge jump, and Bones threw off Marchi. I guess that’s why he’s Big Bull On Campus.
OH, HAPPY DAY!
Ty asked the new World Champ, “What changed for you in this World Finals?”
Renato, kissing his trophy: “I am rich cowboy now!”