FIRST THINGS FIRST:
I think I don’t have to repeat how mortifyingly corny that voiceover guy is, but I must comment on the bizarre reasoning behind hiring him in the first place. It goes like this:
“They” saw a TV spot where an actor plays a tough drill-sergeant-type psychiatrist with a whiny patient. The shrink yells at him, calling him “namby-pamby.” The ad is funny.
Some genius thinks the actor is actually the character he plays. Then he finds out that the actor did military service. He thinks this means the actor has a macho image that’ll appeal to bull riding fans who of course all are/were in the military and watch bull riding because it’s “macho.”
They hire the actor and make him the first voice you hear. He sounds about as macho as a barn auctioneer in Earlville (I used to live there, I went to those auctions; I know what I’m talking about): a nasal tenor twang, not a resonant baritone. Laughable.
Here’s an idea: audition people before you hire them! (That would’ve spared us Erin Coscarelli.) You want the ultimate masculine voice? Get James Earl Jones. Too expensive? Try Jordan Hupp.
Even better: Let the cowboys take turns being the first voice we hear. Like, “This is [fill in the blank], and THIS IS THE PBR!” And let the hometown boy (if any) do the voiceover for that event. You can thank me with a big fat check, guys.
Erin: On-camera note from a professional actress: don’t talk with your hands. And pitch your voice lower than a 12-year-old’s if you want to be taken seriously… though I doubt if even that could make up for a complete lack of broadcast journalism skills. BTW, when you’re talking to a doctor, you call him, “Dr. Freeman” or “Tandy.” When you’re talking about him to someone else, you can call him “Dr. Tandy Freeman.” How can you not know this stuff?
I’M JUST SAYIN’…
Gee, what a surprise: the two New Mexicans overtook Valdiron at the last minute, taking 1st and 2nd places. That “home court advantage” truism is a tad too pat for me. Let’s review the scoring:
|1||L.J. Jenkins||Segs The Juice||89.00|
|5/7||Valdiron de Oliveira||Range War||87.00|
L.J. and Ryan have the “money bulls.” And just what precisely accounted for the 1/2 point difference between Ryan and Valdiron?
|12/13||Valdiron de Oliveira Tuxedo 86.00|
Again, a half point difference between the New Mexicans and Valdiron—why, exactly? Tuxedo was unridden before de Oliveira got on his back.
Round 3 (Short-Go)
|1||L.J. Jenkins||RMEF Gunpowder & Lead||92.25|
|2||Valdiron de Oliveira||Black Pearl||89.50|
|3||Ryan McConnel||After Party||89.25|
You can’t tell me L.J.’s ride on that bull was better than Renato’s last week, yet L.J. was scored a quarter point higher. Why?
|1/2||Ryan McConnel||Big Iron||88.25|
|4||L.J. Jenkins||Outa Da Blue||87.75|
|12||Valdiron de Oliveira||Foolish Pride||84.00|
Valdiron’s score was uncharacteristically low here.
|L.J. Jenkins||Back Bender||0.00|
|Ryan McConnel||Cooper Tires Wild & Out||0.00|
|Valdiron de Oliveira||Bushwacker||0.00|
- I’m a little queasy about the “special focus on Native American riders at each Ty Murray Invitational,” only because it’s like having “Black History Month” or “Women’s History Month”— don’t they count the rest of the year? Is there a bottleneck for them before entering the Touring Pro Division? Anyway, I’m glad we were introduced to some riders we may see in the Touring Pro Division and then (I hope) with the BFTS: Justin Granger and Spud Jones (Navajo Nation), and Dakota Louis (Northern Cheyenne), whose jacket said “War Pony” ─ perfect name for a gutsy guy. He had the misfortune to pull Mr. Slim as his first BFTS bull. Yipes! “This would be like going from your high school state championships to playing in the NFL,” was Ty’s analogy.
- I hate that we don’t get to see Round 1. It woulda been nice to witness Ty Pozzobon’s first BFTS score. (Canadian who just joined the tour.)
- There were constant comments about the volume in the arena, without differentiating between audience noise, which we WANT, and the P.A. system, which was cranked up loud enough for Yankee Stadium. We could barely hear the commentators, and they couldn’t hear themselves. There’s a thing called “sound perspective,” lads. When the sound is too big for the size of the arena, it rebounds all over and distorts so that it’s hard to understand what’s being said.
- Giving the riders a gun for a prize?? WTF??
- LMAO at how Shorty now is talking up the Killer B’s. Must be his penance for not cheering them on; now he’s the spokesperson for why we should like the Brazilians. He even commented on hearing negative things about the Brazilians— like, they don’t pick the rankest bulls, etc. It was Justin McBride who said, “They don’t pick the Bushwackers, the I’m a Gangsters; it’s a business decision.” — see my Portland Invitational post.
- The attitude of chute bosses toward the Brazilians was SO blatant this time: Valdiron was harassed to get out of the chute from the moment he started wrapping; meanwhile two Americans before him and two after were allowed to take all the time they wanted. But even after that attempt to unnerve him, Valdiron still rode Black Pearl, for 89.50.
- It’s not always bull-damage: Austin Meier didn’t go into the short round because on one trip, he hit his head on Frank Newsom’s knee brace, which “addled him a little bit,” Tandy Freeman said.
Austin’s beautiful 86-point ride on Perfect Poison. His timing with the bull was wonderful. He didn’t “muscle through” or “grit it out,” as people constantly say about his riding. Technique was what kept him on that bull.
Definite highlight: Guilherme grimacing and growling after his buckoff.
VDO now has a 79.50 riding percentage.
JB in a gorgeous turquoise shirt (JB Mauney Fashion Alert?) on Ricky Bobby: finally, a score! (87)
After dumping Skeeter and taking a run at his ass, Too Tall charged Frank Newsom’s rear. “I got news for that bull, you can’t hurt Frank Newsom.” –Shorty. “Frank said, pick me, I am Spartacus!”─Ty
Douglas Duncan hung up and then went rag doll; he was unconscious even before he landed. A long, silent wait later, he came to and asked Tandy Freeman, “Am I still in the arena?” Freeman said Yes. “I gotta get up and get outta here!” And he did.
Frightening moment when Renato got hung up by the ankle on Larry the Cable Guy’s Git-R-Done. SO lucky it wasn’t a broken leg.
Dakota Louis, helping out chuteside, held onto Ryan McConnel’s vest and saved him from getting his face smashed against the chute when After Party started bucking.
Fabiano Vieira on Rusty Zipper. That little bull’s got a cute wiggle! Somebody tossed a straw hat at him and he startled and spun away. “He looks like a little milk cow.” ─Ty
I don’t know whether he’s named after the Doors’ song or after his technique, but Back Door Man has some serious hindquarter kicks that do send riders thataway.
Big Tex showed Colby why he’s still an eliminator, with huge kicks and lunges.
Blind Side did a bizarre horizontal leap with all four feet in the air, at 6 feet high. But if he’s been ridden 90% of the time, why does that make him a good bull? Doesn’t it mean he’s too easy to ride?
High Octane Hurricane is fast and furious; whoever named him is right on the money.
NITWITTICISMS: All Craig, All the Time!
Re L.J. Jenkins riding Kabookie for 86.50: “No chance for Kabookie to get him off.” Um, are ya saying L.J. needs Viagra?
Spud Jones vs. Flip Side: “And he’s flipped off in two seconds.” Such a rude bull!
“Austin Meier added another notch to his toughness belt last night.”—His toughness belt? Really, Craig? What are you babbling about?
Re Perfect Poison: “This is not a bull to be trifled with.” Unlike all the other bulls, who just delightful pussycats.
“What a cast of characters we have coming up after the intermission!” Craig, what the hell are you talking about? This ain’t Laugh-In, my friend.
“The centrifugal force gets him off.” Oh, so that’s how Fabiano Vieira gets his kicks.
Re Valdiron: “There’s a reason he’s #1 in the world.” Uh, would that be because he’s the best rider right now?
Re the New Mexican riders: “Will it be a celebration of specialness or a pity party?”
Re Ryan McConnel “He’s been struggling with some mediocrity.” I can’t even explain how dopey that is. Either you’re riding or you’re not. Do you maybe mean, inconsistency?
And one from Erin (I’m not surprised):
After his great ride on Perfect Poison, Austin Meier had a moment with Coscarelli: “Austin suffered a AC separation,” she informs us. Did she miss that day in grammar school when they explained where you use “a” and when you use “an”? Her final words (before the inevitable, “Back to you, Craig”): “Austin─ a chance at redemption.” Uh, I had no idea he was a sinner doomed to Hell. So glad he’s saved.
I LIKE IT!
Sweet that Travis Sellers wore a vest with his grandmother’s name on it, and is riding this season in her honor.
How cute were those little-boy photos of Ty!
Kind of good to hear that some riders get butterflies in their stomach before riding. Whaddaya know, now matter how tough they are, they’re still human.
Cody Nance was DQ’d for a spur in the rope on leaving the chute. The replays were inconclusive, it was hard to see the issue from any angle– so he wasn’t scored. What a completely illogical rule. If a replay is inconclusive, give him a score!
Monty the Bull’s one sky-high leap three quarters of the way through his ride dumped Robson Palermo.
Mellow Yellow Jacket was having an earthquake in the chute. Tough break for Shane Proctor, who did remarkably well holding on for about 6 seconds.
Black Ice showing J.B. Mauney exactly what black ice does to you: stuttering, shuffling, sliding steps. After he got bucked off, JB ended up hanging over the gate to stay out of the way …and of course was p.o.’ed that he slipped on that ice.
TOLD YA SO:
Yep, the Ford commercial went away for Brendon Clark. Hope the same fate doesn’t await Luke Snyder. Colby Yates is replacing Brendon in those off-road skits.
BUILT FORD TOUGH:
Last night, Shane Proctor suffered a horrible multiple stomping, came out of it with a bloody, cut-up face, but returned to ride tonight. Little Snake had been ridden only once, by Shane, who seconded the motion with 84.25. (I think the bull confused himself when he changed direction.)
FASHION ALERT! Cody, where are you?
Ryan McConnel: Purple shirt– check. Black hat– check. Blonde hair– check. Weird new dance─ a hybrid of surfing, bodybuilder posing, and Walk Like An Egyptian─ not check.
After the commercial, they re-played Duncan’s wreck, from which he came away with a concussion and a lacerated jaw. Gross.
“That was a really good wreck.”— Shane Proctor, about his own crash last night, where obviously his brain got scrambled. What’s good about a wreck?
CAN I QUOTE YOU ON THAT?
The shot Newsom took for Skeeter may have broken a blood vessel or a knuckle. “It’s a good thing it happened to Frank and not me, because I’d be in the locker room crying right now.”—Shorty
“The book on the bull is not the Bible.” ─Ty Murray
This was Sean Willingham’s 200th consecutive BFTS event.
VDO picks up that Rock Star Energy Drink after every ride─ really earning his sponsorship! Hope his insides don’t corrode from drinking that crap. Ty was marveling at Valdiron’s core strength. “For all the kids watching at home, that core strength doesn’t come from drinking soda!” Good one, Craig! (Now you’re 3 for 200.)
Erin had the task of trying to make it sound exciting that there’s 86 steps behind the chutes─ and completely missed the hook. The point was made only when Ben Jones suffered his third buckoff, courtesy of Slim Chance, and had to do the 86 steps through the audience, coming and going. Poor Ben─ The Walk of Shame!