Versus is now part of the NBC Sports Group. That’s why we’ll see the PBR on NBC this coming Sunday. It’ll be interesting to see which sports NBC will make Versus drop. Let’s hope it’s the friggin’ sixteen days of bicycle riding, and not bull riding.
Shane Proctor looked good on Wine Hu! His 86.5 made him say, “It’s a good day to be a bull rider!”
Frank Newsom’s impressive save: he literally threw himself over Paolo Lima on the ground after Primal Therapy bucked off Lima.
J.B., even with two sore hips (the second from last night’s wreck on Oreo), fortunately took Shorty’s advice to keep his eyes in the middle of the bull instead of on the dirt off to the side─ and rode Flirting with Disaster for 87.
Two of my favorite bulls “done been rode” tonight: Silvano Alves scored 86 on Spit Fire. What a beast! Since 2009, only Valdiron de Oliveira has ridden this bull. And I give L.J. Jenkins a lot of credit for riding crazy little Crosswired, scoring 87.75.
Cody Nance’s buckoff streak. This must have something to do with him stepping down his sartorial splendor recently. Then he rode Nashville Streaker─ a debut bull who was growling in the chute─ and got taken for a ride all the way across the arena. (Re-ride.)
Of course J.B. picked Bushwacker in the draft, but his head isn’t paying attention to his body. He’s in pain and limping. I know he’ll ride that bull eventually, but not while he’s in this shape. It was his 18th straight buckoff.
“Caleb Sanderson has a full bull lead going into the second day.” Is there any such thing as a half-bull lead, Craig?
“You see a lot of bumps and bruises and broken bones. That’s what makes this sport so attractive.”—Shorty Gorham. That, folks, in a nutshell is what’s wrong with the PBR’s marketing strategy: positioning bull riding as a blood sport, rather than a legitimate mainstream athletic event─ which they claim to want to do.
Ben Jones’ bull was going berserk in the chute; Hummer’s interpretation: “Cowboy Casanova again, putting the moves on Jones.” So Ben was being hit on by a ton of beef? Nice.
The Bummer blathering on about JB “searching for answers…all the answers haven’t helped…now he has to put aside all external thoughts…” Um, here’s the thing, Craig: most people think with their brains, which are located inside their heads. Therefore every thought they have is internal. We can’t have external thoughts. Well, maybe you can.
Hummer said the commentators will be “making the analogies” for “the average viewer, to make the sport more mainstream.” Mainstream sports don’t do that, bro. Tell your bosses.
This is the self-defeating “game plan” that’ll be inflicted on us from now on. I used to sit riveted to the TV screen. Now I go to the fridge, the bathroom, check my email—and not just during commercials. As last night’s broadcast proved, I can just as easily miss a ride during a commercial─ including the only qualifying ride in round 2 (Caleb Sanderson).
Showing all the wreck clips, instead of the great rides: J.B. Mauney getting stomped, Austin getting his shoulder injury, Chance Roberts’ broken collar bone episode, Fabiano Vieira’s dislocated elbow, his arm hanging at a horrible right angle.
The melodramatic promotional clip that ran after a commercial break; it’s supposed to be a bull rider’s internal monologue (clue for those of you who are clueless: it’s an ACTOR): “A lot can go through your head in 8 seconds. As soon as the chute opens, so do the floodgates. What if I never land that #1 ranking? What if I never land that gold buckle? What if I never land?” One way or another, you’re gonna land, dude. Who wrote that shit?
I’M JUST SAYIN’…
Can Draft Day be televised? A lot of us want to see the riders pick their bulls.
Luke Snyder’s still doing the silly Ford promos, and PFI’s Boot Daddy was his second buckoff this weekend. Connect the dots.
Now that Shorty’s doing three jobs─ fighting bulls, commenting from the dirt, and helping with the re-cap up in the Sky Box, I hope they at least doubled his pay.
During a commercial we missed Pete Farley’s Round 3 ride on Delco, for 88.75. We also missed Jory Markiss’ 87.25 ride on Double Clutch, in Jory’s first event of the season; musta been a good one, judging by the hip-switchin’ victory dance.
This Brazilian buckoff streak started happening as the chute bosses got more and more ratty about rushing them out, yelling at them to rattle them. It looked like Renato would ride Rock & Roll, but instead he achieved his 5th buckoff. The bull hipped himself on the chute, but Nunes didn’t get a re-ride. Silvano Alves’ near-ride on Sleeper was a Hail Mary if I ever saw one; too bad about the slap. He’s been having a rotten run lately, which seems worse than it is because of his spectacular debut last year and our high expectations. That made his 86-point ride on Spit Fire twice as exciting. Valdiron, because of his faux loss in Albuquerque, got stuck with Far West, 16th in the draft, and did a nice waltz with him, but scored only 84.75, because the bull didn’t do enough─ so Valdiron doesn’t go to the championship round. It looks to me like Brazilian morale is slumping. Gee, I wonder why.
Shorty talked about Brazilian bulls being gentler, and the chute procedure being slower. Funny, I didn’t notice it when I was watching the broadcasts. And I doubt that the bulls are “gentler.” Was he in Brazil for those finals?
Caleb Sanderson was probably as surprised as anyone that he took this event. Great focus, keeping his head down. First on Train Wreck (85.25), then Too Sexy (88), then Fully Loaded (85.75). He’d already won even before he had to ride Priceless, his last bull. It’s a good thing, too: it wasn’t even a ride— it was over in less than 1 second, barely out of the chute. This is his first BFTS win, and “It was nerve-wracking.”
THE CONTINUING ADVENTURES OF BEN JONES:
After Cowboy Casanova gave Ben Jones a hard time in the chute, Ben had to be lifted out by Ryan McConnel, and I heard a groan. That is scary, coming from the man who rides bulls in spite of broken ribs. When the bull finally got it together, he came out backwards, Ben hung up a bit at the end of the ride, took a shot on his head and landed on it─ yet scored 87.25. Truly amazing. But his bull in the Championship Round was Red Hot; he picked him because he’d been told the bull rides into your hand, and he rode Voodoo Child into his hand, ergo…But Ben was off in a blink, and looked like he was about to cry. That is a seriously passionate guy.
SURPRISE! CLOCK MALFUNCTION! WHADDAYA KNOW!
This time, during Kody Lostroh’s smooth ride─ like clockwork─ on El Patron, for 85.75.
Perfect Poison was the last bull left in the draft. Aw, come on, guys─ don’t you wanna be the one to conquer this maniac?
Smack Down’s 5 for 5 with Kody Lostroh, who’s obviously disgusted that he still can’t figure out this bull. Well, it’s not often you come across a bull who writhes like a snake!
High Steaks: powerful, flexible, with all kinds of tricks, every which way.
I don’t know how the bulls pulled this off, but a lot of the riders landed on their feet─ voluntarily or not.