KANSAS CITY PART 2 April 3 Broadcast

Versus is now part of the NBC Sports Group. That’s why we’ll see the PBR on NBC this coming Sunday. It’ll be interesting to see which sports NBC will make Versus drop. Let’s hope it’s the friggin’ sixteen days of bicycle riding, and not bull riding.

HIGHLIGHTS:

Shane Proctor looked good on Wine Hu! His 86.5 made him say, “It’s a good day to be a bull rider!”

Frank Newsom’s impressive save: he literally threw himself over Paolo Lima on the ground after Primal Therapy bucked off Lima.

J.B., even with two sore hips (the second from last night’s wreck on Oreo), fortunately took Shorty’s advice to keep his eyes in the middle of the bull instead of on the dirt off to the side─ and rode Flirting with Disaster for 87.

Two of my favorite bulls “done been rode” tonight: Silvano Alves scored 86 on Spit Fire. What a beast! Since 2009, only Valdiron de Oliveira has ridden this bull. And I give L.J. Jenkins a lot of credit for riding crazy little Crosswired, scoring 87.75.

DANG!

Cody Nance’s buckoff streak. This must have something to do with him stepping down his sartorial splendor recently. Then he rode Nashville Streaker─ a debut bull who was growling in the chute─ and got taken for a ride all the way across the arena. (Re-ride.)

Of course J.B. picked Bushwacker in the draft, but his head isn’t paying attention to his body. He’s in pain and limping. I know he’ll ride that bull eventually, but not while he’s in this shape. It was his 18th straight buckoff.

NITWITTICISMS:

“Caleb Sanderson has a full bull lead going into the second day.” Is there any such thing as a half-bull lead, Craig?

“You see a lot of bumps and bruises and broken bones. That’s what makes this sport so attractive.”—Shorty Gorham. That, folks, in a nutshell is what’s wrong with the PBR’s marketing strategy: positioning bull riding as a blood sport, rather than a legitimate mainstream athletic event─ which they claim to want to do.

Ben Jones’ bull was going berserk in the chute; Hummer’s interpretation: “Cowboy Casanova again, putting the moves on Jones.” So Ben was being hit on by a ton of beef? Nice.

The Bummer blathering on about JB “searching for answers…all the answers haven’t helped…now he has to put aside all external thoughts…” Um, here’s the thing, Craig: most people think with their brains, which are located inside their heads. Therefore every thought they have is internal. We can’t have external thoughts. Well, maybe you can.

DELUSIONAL:

Hummer said the commentators will be “making the analogies” for “the average viewer, to make the sport more mainstream.” Mainstream sports don’t do that, bro. Tell your bosses.

This is the self-defeating “game plan” that’ll be inflicted on us from now on. I used to sit riveted to the TV screen. Now I go to the fridge, the bathroom, check my email—and not just during commercials. As last night’s broadcast proved, I can just as easily miss a ride during a commercial─ including the only qualifying ride in round 2 (Caleb Sanderson).

HATE IT:

Showing all the wreck clips, instead of the great rides: J.B. Mauney getting stomped, Austin getting his shoulder injury, Chance Roberts’ broken collar bone episode, Fabiano Vieira’s dislocated elbow, his arm hanging at a horrible right angle.

The melodramatic promotional clip that ran after a commercial break; it’s supposed to be a bull rider’s internal monologue (clue for those of you who are clueless: it’s an ACTOR): “A lot can go through your head in 8 seconds.  As soon as the chute opens, so do the floodgates. What if I never land that #1 ranking? What if I never land that gold buckle? What if I never land?” One way or another, you’re gonna land, dude. Who wrote that shit?

I’M JUST SAYIN’…

Can Draft Day be televised? A lot of us want to see the riders pick their bulls.

Luke Snyder’s still doing the silly Ford promos, and PFI’s Boot Daddy was his second buckoff this weekend. Connect the dots.

Now that Shorty’s doing three jobs─ fighting bulls, commenting from the dirt, and helping with the re-cap up in the Sky Box, I hope they at least doubled his pay.

During a commercial we missed Pete Farley’s Round 3 ride on Delco, for 88.75. We also missed Jory Markiss’ 87.25 ride on Double Clutch, in Jory’s first event of the season; musta been a good one, judging by the hip-switchin’ victory dance.

This Brazilian buckoff streak started happening as the chute bosses got more and more ratty about rushing them out, yelling at them to rattle them. It looked like Renato would ride Rock & Roll, but instead he achieved his 5th buckoff. The bull hipped himself on the chute, but Nunes didn’t get a re-ride. Silvano Alves’ near-ride on Sleeper was a Hail Mary if I ever saw one; too bad about the slap. He’s been having a rotten run lately, which seems worse than it is because of his spectacular debut last year and our high expectations. That made his 86-point ride on Spit Fire twice as exciting. Valdiron, because of his faux loss in Albuquerque, got stuck with Far West, 16th in the draft, and did a nice waltz with him, but scored only 84.75, because the bull didn’t do enough─ so Valdiron doesn’t go to the championship round. It looks to me like Brazilian morale is slumping. Gee, I wonder why.

Shorty talked about Brazilian bulls being gentler, and the chute procedure being slower. Funny, I didn’t notice it when I was watching the broadcasts. And I doubt that the bulls are “gentler.” Was he in Brazil for those finals?

Caleb Sanderson was probably as surprised as anyone that he took this event. Great focus, keeping his head down. First on Train Wreck (85.25), then Too Sexy (88), then Fully Loaded (85.75). He’d already won even before he had to ride Priceless, his last bull. It’s a good thing, too: it wasn’t even a ride— it was over in less than 1 second, barely out of the chute. This is his first BFTS win, and “It was nerve-wracking.”

THE CONTINUING ADVENTURES OF BEN JONES:

After Cowboy Casanova gave Ben Jones a hard time in the chute, Ben had to be lifted out by Ryan McConnel, and I heard a groan. That is scary, coming from the man who rides bulls in spite of broken ribs. When the bull finally got it together, he came out backwards, Ben hung up a bit at the end of the ride, took a shot on his head and landed on it─ yet scored 87.25. Truly amazing. But his bull in the Championship Round was Red Hot; he picked him because he’d been told the bull rides into your hand, and he rode Voodoo Child into his hand, ergo…But Ben was off in a blink, and looked like he was about to cry. That is a seriously passionate guy.

SURPRISE! CLOCK MALFUNCTION! WHADDAYA KNOW!

This time, during Kody Lostroh’s smooth ride─ like clockwork─ on El Patron, for 85.75.

BULL STUFF:

Perfect Poison was the last bull left in the draft. Aw, come on, guys─ don’t you wanna be the one to conquer this maniac?

Smack Down’s 5 for 5 with Kody Lostroh, who’s obviously disgusted that he still can’t figure out this bull. Well, it’s not often you come across a bull who writhes like a snake!

High Steaks: powerful, flexible, with all kinds of tricks, every which way.

I don’t know how the bulls pulled this off, but a lot of the riders landed on their feet─ voluntarily or not.

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Creative services, marketing and public relations professional from entertainment industry background. Published in magazines and newspapers worldwide. I believe bull riders are the new rock stars.
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6 Responses to KANSAS CITY PART 2 April 3 Broadcast

  1. John says:

    I agree Dave. The riders are humble and grateful. They help each other out. You’d think it wouldn’t be that way since there’s no guaranteed money for them. Speaking of money…anyone planning on coughing up $30 to watch the Last Cowboy Standing on Pay Per View?

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  2. Last night, Hummer the Bummer said the Kum-Bi-Yah moments the riders share need to be few and far between. He wants to see the riders battle the bulls and each other. I disagree. One of the main reasons wife and I was attracted to PBR 4 years ago was the camaraderie between the bull riders. Its refreshing to see them rooting for each other as opposed to the extreme competition seen between the athletes in other sports. Perhaps he would like to see a few fist fights out in the arena?

    If this is what Hummer the Bummer wants, why doesn’t he move over to Hockey, there’s plenty of ‘battles’ between the players in that sport.

    Speaking of Hummer, I wonder what he’s doing to keep his spot on PBR? He is so out of place. His hair, his dress, his idiotical comments and the general lack of knowledge of the sport cheapens the experience.

    PBR is a unique sport, lets not try to mainstream it.

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    • I think one of the BIG reasons people love bull riding is the camaraderie among the riders. They’re competing against bulls, not one another. “Kumbaya” moments?? That’s another bit of Bummer blabber. He rarely puts his brain (and I use the term loosely) in gear before he runs his mouth. Somehow in his head he has equated non-stop irrelevant, nonsensical noise with excitement.

      From the first time I saw him, I’ve been trying to figure out the reason he’s the commentator. Somebody’s boyfriend? Hubby? Boy toy? Someone commented on this blog a while ago that Hummer looks like he should be hosting a reality TV show. Could somebody please find him one??

      Bull riding is a unique sport, and it can remain one while still reaching a wider audience–if it keeps its “flavor.” Trying to mainstream it by completely changing its nature is how you tank it. Bigger prize money, more broadcasts, more events, more riders: Yay! Pay Per View, riders spending their time doing goofy promos, invisible judges (in baseball, everybody knows who the umps are; in every sport that has referees, we know who they are), blood painted onto a bull rider photo on the PBR website’s front page: Boo!

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  3. Cathy Merchant says:

    I also notice that certain judges are immediately hassling the Brazilian riders the moment the camera goes to them in the chute. It’s ridiculous. The bull can be clearly leaning so the rider can’t get his leg down, and the judge will be hollering at him “GET OUT OF THERE!” “NOD YOUR HEAD NOW!” etc. I’m glad I don’t have high blood pressure, or I would be having to call 911 every weekend when I’m watching. And contrary to what some say, most of the time they’re being yelled at, their ropes are NOT pulled yet, so the accusation many make of them soaking and sitting their trying to cheat the bulls is a big pile of what comes out the back end of those amazing male bovine athletes. I have, on many occasions, fallen asleep this season watching the PBR; that could be partly due to fatigue from going on 5 months of mandatory over time at my full time job (as well as still having to do my mobile dog and cat grooming job with no “slow” season this year), but I think it’s also because the broadcasts have been THAT dull. It’s pretty sad, really.

    I kinda take Hummer with a grain of salt. I think Versus/NBC has him ask the stupid questions (or at least those that seem stupid to those who haven’t been following the sport for as long as many of us) so the person who has flipped the PBR on for the very first time can understand. I see it in other sports, too–where the commentators make comments/ask questions that make you say “REALLY? do ya think the fans don’t know that?” I have a friend who has never been to a PBR event who is going to Tampa this weekend because she’s become a Cord McCoy fan via Amazing Race. She would be the person those questions are being asked for. Ty, JW, Justin… all do a great job in the booth, but at times they forget not every fan has been in the bull riding business and tend to use trade lingo (we all do it, no matter what profession we are in); Hummer’s job is to bring them back to that reality, and I think he’s done a pretty decent job of it. At least he LIKES the sport, unlike that Haber(?) guy before him who was caught on mic calling Brian Herman a hillbilly. Come to think of it, his complaint against Pee Wee was he was taking too long in the chutes. Could it be that is not an exclusively Brazilian trait? (love bringing things full circle!)

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  4. PBR fan says:

    With all of the concerns about the judging, the PBR continues to be mum. The events are becoming less enjoyable to watch. I dvr the events as it is no longer a top priority for me to watch it as it is being broadcasted. I am not going to the three live events that I usually go to. I always bought the best seats but I will be saving my money this year. My family can’t believe that I don’t want to go this year. The PBR has no respect for the fans, in my opinion. PPV is just the icing on the cake. It is all about money, money, money. Well, they will not be getting my money, money, money this year. With all of the PBR powers that be, they need to take care of the riders and get them decent health insurance so poor McKinnon does not have to go on TV and say that he is living off the Riders Relief Fund. Since Spire has taken over, the front office has increased in numbers (CEO , Marketing etc.). The Administrators get richer off the back of the workers who do not even have adequate health insurance. Come on PBR, take care of you riders!

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    • You’re certainly not alone; a lot of people feel that way. (Not only that, but also now we’re supposed to pay to see Justin McKee in a guest appearance. OY!)

      Your point about health insurance is well-taken. I used to wonder why there was a Rider Relief Fund; in the music business, there’s at least one fund that helps take care of old blues musicians who end up destitute after being ripped off all their lives by record labels. And for actors, there’s an actual place for elderly, impoverished actors to live. Both of those are depressing facts, but for athletes who literally risk their lives for their living–it’s not just a sport to them–to have no “team” health insurance is obscene.

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