TAMPA – Part 1 – April 9, 2011

SAY IT AIN’T SO!

After Amy’s Pet dumped him onto his elbow, Renato Nunes dislocated his left shoulder; of course, that’s his riding arm, so no championship round for him. His comment to Leah Garcia: “I’m very disappointed… but when you ride bulls, you gotta be ready for everything: win, get hurt…”

Ty Murray, talking about Stormy Wing and Out of Control, an athletic bull who hasn’t been ridden in 11 outs, actually asked The Bummer, “Am I correct on that, Craig?” Satan will now be selling ice skates.

HIGHLIGHTS:

Sterling taking Chris Shivers on a gallop clear across the arena, then slamming the opposite fence with a kick, scaring the crap out of the people on the other side of it. Yee-ha!

Courtesy of Cowboy Coffee, 89 points for Valdiron de Oliveira and a hard landing with a bang against the bottom of the gate.

Poor Guilherme! The look on his face didn’t need translating: “What the hell did that bull do??” Iron Horse literally flew through the air at shoulder height out of the gate (very Michael Jordan) dumped him, then roared. Marchi landed on Shorty. His quote: “That bull almost had his way with both of us.”

J.B. Mauney showed why he can ride the rankest ones (he’ll get Bushwacker done someday) when he rode Crown of Thorns for 85.25. Most guys would’ve left the bull when they got smashed against the gate, but he kept one leg on, and looked like he was going to hang up that way as the bull took off. At the end he took a horrible shot: first bashed against the gate, then got stomped on the back. Unfortunately, this was a painful highlight.

Robson Palermo’s looong ride on RMEF Gunpowder and Lead scored 91, YAY!! I still think that if someone stays on longer than 8 seconds he should get bonus points.

“Everybody’s Jonesin’…” Don’t know who said it, but amen to that!  Ben visited a school (where?) to help Native American riders work on riding bulls, and was given an eagle feather! That’s a serious honor, and he sure deserves it.

I’M JUST SAYIN’…

When is a slap not a slap? Dusty LaBeth slapped debut bull John Doe at 8, and got a score: 86.50. Elton Cide touched Full Force at 8, plus there was a clock/buzzer malfunction– no score. If you touch the bull at 8, should or shouldn’t you be scored? Whichever rule applies, it should be applied equally.

Paolo Lima’s bull Iron Broke hit his horn on the chute, bumped against it, and came out backwards, but supposedly there was no foul, so no re-ride.

There was talk of “chute procedure” not being so good lately; was that a slap at the Killer Bs? “The Rules of the Ride: Troubles in the Chute” posted onscreen listed 4 pieces of “chute etiquette.” Pretty funny, after all the hassling of the Brazilians. Dustin Elliott certainly was able to take his time in the chute on Habanero without being rushed. (BTW, his “Gosh dang it!” was the most exciting thing we heard in the chute all weekend.)

Ryan McConnel’s bull Lil Frankie got him a re-ride because he was just jumping, not spinning. If that merited a re-ride, then Caleb’s bull Hot Sauce should’ve given him a re-ride instead of an 80.75.

What on earth is so interesting about listening to a rider in the chute saying, “Pull”? A better idea: wire Frank Baumgartner; sounds like he’d be a good time. Warned by the booth to “Keep him away from your microphone,” Shorty said,“Yeah, he likes to spice things up down here on the dirt.”

Valdiron has been #1 in 11 out of 13 events (and would’ve been #1 in 12 events, if not for the New Mexico sham).

Lately a lot of riders have exited their bulls standing up; I wasn’t sure if it’s because the riders keep getting better and better, or the bulls don’t. Shorty sorted it out: Apparently in the old days, a rider wouldn’t want to land on his feet because in the locker room, the other riders would humiliate him. I don’t get it; I think it’s pretty cool when they do that, but then, I don’t ride bulls.

STILL HATE IT:

That damn song about getting off on the pain, while we see clips of guys getting mashed and stomped and hurt. It’s not cool. It’s SICK. Why not show clips of riders making 8??

LOL:

“The last few weeks have been like winning the Masters’ with bogey golf.”—Ty, commenting on the 28% riding percentage in the last three events, in which the last two winners didn’t even have to ride their last bull—and didn’t.

“Mike Lee just made this bull look silly.” –Ty (re Captain Jack, who helped Mike score 85.75)

NITWITTICISMS (or should I say, Hummerblather?):

“The kumbaya moments of bull riding”—When was that? I must’ve missed it.

“He’s hoping his bull can help him stimulate his stranglehold on the standings.” “Cowboy Coffee’s going to give him a jolt, but not the kind he imagines.” –You-know-who, belaboring the attempted word play about Valdiron de Oliveira.

“But Mauney doesn’t want to be mortal. He strives for superhuman feats every time out of the chutes.” Gee, I guess I didn’t notice the cape and the big “S” on his shirt.

“Credit I’m A Gangster for getting off one of the best guys in the business.” Ya know, I don’t think Mauney’s wife would appreciate talk like that.

“Palermo still with that envious position”—Um, did you mean “enviable?” I can’t even tell you how wrong this is.

“Robson moves ahead of his good friend Valdiron.” Just because they’re Brazilians and in the same profession doesn’t mean they’re best buds, or that all the Brazilians are good friends. A few bulls later, VDO is now Robson’s “great friend.” Would you be saying that about all the American riders?

“He’s not called the Valdironator for nothing.” He’s not called The Valdironator, period. The only one who calls him that is you, Craig! (For those who read the Comments here, S. said the same thing, but I just want you to know that I said it the instant I heard him. Chances are, we are only two of thousands who thought it.) Does he actually think that tongue-twister is gonna catch on?

“In this sport there usually is a tomorrow.” Just give me one bullet; I’ll aim right between his eyes. You know–where his brain is supposed to be.

DANG!

Because of badly timed commercials, we missed Tony Mendes ride Superstar for 85.75 and Dusty Ephrom on Psycho Todd, for 84.75. And after all the hoopla about Caleb Sanderson riding in his home state, we missed his introduction and the crowd’s reaction.

Ryan McConnel is making me nuts. He’s too good to make dumb mistakes. His internal clock is off; he keeps nearly making 8, then leaves the bull (this time, Sleeper). He even asked, “Not long enough?”

BULL STUFF:

Frisky little Rusty Waters handed Pistol Robinson his 9th straight buckoff.

How high can Chance kick?

Chris Shivers’ re-ride Deja Blu is the living definition of a bullwhip! Shivers was airborne.

Chicken on a Chain is still a monster: ridden only 23 out of 72 outs. Renato had the top score: 95.75.

RYAN MCCONNEL STYLE ALERT!

Sorry, Cody…Ryan’s lime shirt and black band with a red band around it rocks. But I still want to see that other black hat, with the red inset.

TAKE NOTE!

L.J.  Jenkins showed solid control on Riding Hot, using his free arm like a gliding counterweight, almost as gracefully as J.B. does when he’s riding hot.

I heard one “Hustle!” from Shorty for Douglas Ferreira on Git-Er Done and a “Keep Hustlin’!” for Silvano Alves on Louisiana Purchase. Progress.

Elliot Jacoby’s very solid seat on Bad Moon, despite the bull turning out backwards, earned him an 89.75. Only de Oliveira has ridden that bull in its last 7 outs.

YIKES!

Ranger Red is 1 for 26, and after all Tim Mauney’s fussing over his son in the chute (and being not exactly comforting), the bull hipped himself on the chute and J.B. got a re-ride. Too bad his bull was I’m A Gangster! Poor thing, as Mom would say. The bull was charging in the chute; eventually they had to start all over again. Then he practically threw J.B. out of the chute. On the dirt, that bull seemed to be moving in six directions at once; poor J.B. looked stunned.

VDO’s trip on Speckled Ivory was brutal; Valdiron looked like he still had the tail end of the rope at 8, but the rest of him was off the bull. He hung in there to the nth degree, but got no score.

CUTE MOMENTS:

Valdiron sitting on the fence, bobbing to the music, then flashing a grin at the camera.

Ben Jones in the Truth Booth talking about his bull being named Pretty Face, and him not having a pretty face. Awww, Ben! You’re actually a good-looking guy—you just need a trip to the orthodontist. Then you’d be real purty. And in spite of Pretty Face being a slow bull that kept the score down to 84.50, we got a double dose of dancing on the Shark Cage.

I love how the Brazilians thank the fans for coming to see the bull riding. This time Robson Palermo took the win, and thanked his trainer, his wife, and Ty for pushing him and helping his concentration.

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2 Responses to TAMPA – Part 1 – April 9, 2011

  1. Shawn Wiese says:

    You are hard on these guys! I like it! Very fun to read and very funny. 🙂

    Like

    • You obviously are a man of impeccable literary taste and refined wit!
      I love the riders; I just want to choke Hummer…and shake some sense into the noodniks who are experimenting with all the weird crap that they think makes bull riding better.

      Thanks for reading!

      Like

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