DES MOINES – Rounds 1 & 2 (Fri.) broadcast Sat. 5/8/11

OH NOOOO!

Erin’s back. “As of recent,” she says, interviewing L.J. Her question to Chris Shivers after a big ride, “Does that add to be more motivated?” Was he “re-excited to be back?” And then she nearly bobbled his name. I guess “Chris” is even harder to say than “Valdiron.” And this is an improvement. Bet she spent her two weeks off at Announcer School. Or  bribed Leah to give her lessons.

AW, COME ON, GUYS…MIKE HIM!

J.W. Hart warned Jesse Byrne, who was filling in for Shorty Gorham: “Stay away from Joe Baumgartner with that mike.”

I LIKE IT!

Fabiano Vieiera took on Ludacris, for 87– first time this season that bull’s been ridden, and he tried it all. Then Fabiano showed Priceless who’s boss, with a super effort. 85.50 wasn’t enough for that action. The whole team from South America was hooting and hollering for him─ and which one of them tweaked his nose and ears? Cute!

Wow, whaddaya know: for almost the first time all year, I heard a chute dude bug an American to hurry up out of the chute. (Skeeter Kingsolver on The Game Changer).

PBR brass, take note: Road to Vegas Fantasy Season 1 winner was Cathy Taylor. A WOMAN.

ARRGGHH!

Renato had shoulder surgery and will be out until the World Finals.

Luke Snyder’s ride on Sancho proved that showing off gets you dumped off…but it’s great to see him really go for it.

“That’s what the name of the game in the PBR is: just staying on your bulls.” J.W., channeling Ty Murray.

Craig, will ya just ask Silvano how to pronounce his name?? And stop telling us all the Brazilians are great friends! Ya gotta put up a united front when you’re in hostile territory and don’t speak the language.

CAN I QUOTE YOU ON THAT, J.DUB?

Talking about L.J. Jenkins: “He has got his fire under his motor.”

Re Train Wreck, L.J.’s bull: “He’s goin’ in his own motor hisself.”

On Guilherme Marchi being #6 in the world: “That is just a gross statistic.”

About Alves riding Keepin It Real for 85: “That bull had about as much chance of bucking his spots off as getting rid of Silvano.”

Ryan McConnel’s back to blonde, and “struggling to do too many things other than just ride. Too much getting on TV. Riding the bulls, that’s what puts you on TV.” After seeing what Ryan didn’t accomplish with Blind Side, I have to agree: his focus is elsewhere.

“I’m kinda old school. I’d like to see all the guys quit dancing.” Sorry, dude, ya lost me there. I love all the end zone performing!

After the Invasion of the Bulls clip showed Luke Snyder trying to weld something, being bleeped, and trying again: “I can’t imagine driving anything Luke put together.”

AND EVERYBODY ELSE…

“There’s no whistle that’s gonna stop a bull. When you get bucked off, that’s not the end of it.” –Douglas Duncan

“I’d much rather work on my get-off than on my riding.” –L.J.

“I never let go ‘til my head hits the ground, maybe even twice.” ─Austin Meier

NITWITTICISMS: It’s all Hummer.

“Back In puts Guilherme on his back end.”

“All roads lead to and all roads lead through L.J. Jenkins at the moment.” ─So L.J.’s kinda like Rome?

Sigh. Now Austin Meier is J.B. Mauney’s “good friend.” Oh, really? How much hanging out do they do?

“He’s going to try to turn a No Fly Zone into a Dancing Zone.” Talking about Ben Jones and his bull. (He jinxed the ride: Ben’s eyes left the bull’s shoulders; the end.)

I’M JUST SAYIN’…LOUD!!

L.J. managed several recoveries on Train Wreck, which made it not the best-looking ride, yet he was scored 86.25. Why such a high score, even with the bull’s stumbling? I’ve seen other riders have a messy ride courtesy of the bull, and score in the 70s:

Douglas Ferreira’s wild ride on Rowdy All Night; the bull even banged him against the chute, and he was given 78.

Elton Cide was scored 76 on Asteroid, and we didn’t get to see it.

Robson Palermo could’ve ridden Mountain Warrior all day, and for that, he got 83.25.

Valdiron de Oliveira’s previous slump was explained: his father had a quadruple bypass; not surprising he lost his focus. But he’s baaack. He turned in a textbook ride on Frisky Cat, a bull who did more than a lot of the first-round bulls– for the low score of 83.75.

Paolo Lima got 79.25 on Boy’s Revenge, with no re-ride option.

“Interestingly enough, they’ve all been for Brazilians,” said Hummer, in a shocking display of awareness, referring to scores under 80 with no re-ride options. He done read my mind…as well as thousands of other peoples’. We’re not thick, PBR boys. Are we all on the L.J. train now, giving him high scores no matter what, and low scores to the Brazilians, so he can catch Valdiron? It’s beyond obvious, guys. Those judges ought to be unmasked, replaced, fined, and the scores amended. A precedent already has been set of amending a score during an event. Why not retroactively, since the scores are illegitimate?

The judges also are trying to give Chris Shivers’ last season a sentimental fairy tale ending by fixing the win for him. We all know Chris is one of the great riders, but that exaggerated 87.75 for his trip on PFI’s Boot Daddy, a fairly flat spinner?! An 89.75 on The Situation? As for his 87-point ride on Billionaire: the buzzer sounded after he was in the air. And we saw a blatant slap on camera. That’s the second time I’ve seen this happen with him. But of course, you can’t DQ Shivers, and it’s pissing me off. This is CHEATING, and nobody’s got the guts to challenge it (everyone saw what happened to Renato when he challenged a score). The commentators and TV viewers all saw a slap in the replay, but apparently the judges wear blinders. Yet they DQ’d Douglas Duncan for his slap. Oh, wait, I forgot: he’s not American.

It was a bad out for Stormy Wing’s bull, Stretch Armstrong, who hipped himself backing out of the chute. J.W. said the bull broke the plane. Haven’t heard that phrase in ages. Could he please tell us the official definition? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a real explanation.

Travis Briscoe returned after six weeks and delivered a good ride on Bad Yeller, for 88.50─ and was that a curtsey he did afterward?

We missed Tony Mendes having a bad day. Come to think of it, we always miss Tony Mendes. Can’t they time the commercials any better? Why does he always get cut out? Jesse Byrne told us what happened with Superbad: “He was dancing all over Tony.”

The draft for Day 2 of the event is based on scores and buckoff times. Huh?

Austin Meier Drama: Who Dat was a good bull, and Austin was focused, focused, focused. Did he or didn’t he make 8? He hit the buzzer, and sure enough, the replay showed his hand still in the rope at 8. He was rewarded with 86, for an amazing ride. If Austin didn’t have the smarts and the bucks to press that challenge button, he might’ve walked away without a score. But why should there be a discrepancy between the time we see on the screen and the actual time in the arena? Why does this glaring fuckup occur at every event?

HATE IT:

  • Mustache May. Aaron Roy and Carmine Appice = separated at birth.
  • Why does The Bummer keep saying “the Brazilian(s)”? Does he say “the American(s)” when he refers to riders born over here? As in, “J.B. Mauney, the American”?
  • Ugh─ that awful voiceover guy yelling, “Hello, Happy Dance!” into the camera as we see a clip of Ben Jones bustin’ a move. Super-fake teeth on the voiceover guy, may I add (she said bitchily).
  • The more I hear that stupid “As soon as the chute gates open, so do the flood gates” ad, the more it ticks me off (what a surprise). If any of that crap is going through a rider’s mind when he nods, he might as well let go of his rope right then, ‘cause he’s gonna get bucked off. Who the hell signed off on that ad?
  • The smarmy female voice for “Built Fo-o-ord tough” was given an extra opportunity to cheese on us. “Coming up: Skee-ter King-solver,” she says, with that awful little swoop that apparently whoever hired her thinks is sexy. Baarff.

BULL STUFF:

Jeff Robinson looked depressed reporting on Super Duty’s lower lumbar injury. Uh-oh; I know what that kinda booboo feels like.

A lot of bulls were losing their kick and flattening out. Too much partying the night before?

Titanium Tough is so big they don’t shut the flank gate behind him; his butt sticks out in the back alley.

Wild & Out added injury to insult─ Yay for L.J.’s helmet, even if it’s not stylin’.

Austin Meier became Larry the Cable Guy’s Git-R-Done’s ninth straight buckoff, thanks to tricky movements in several directions at once.

D-D-DANG!

Douglas Duncan looked so sticky on Grey Squirrel, an excellent bull with a varied repertoire─ for 6 seconds.

Bad Moon’s regular timing helped create David Kennedy’s textbook ride.  But he was DQ’d for a slap; yeah, his hand did bounce off the bull’s head.

Ryan Dirteater is out for six months. This time it’s because of a torn ligament, triceps tendon, and wrist tendons on his free arm, from the Fresno event. This poor kid has had way more than his share of bad injuries. I’m so glad I missed this one—the others were horrible to see happening. Feel better, Ryan!

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About Bull Riding Marketing

Creative services, marketing and public relations professional from entertainment industry background. Published in magazines and newspapers worldwide. I believe bull riders are the new rock stars.
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