May 14 Duluth, MN

ARRGGHH!!

This is so pissing me off! Bad enough we have to see events a day or night after they happen, when the results are already posted on the PBR website, but now Versus isn’t even airing the Duluth event on time. The schedule says 11 pm. It’s 11:30 and hockey analysis just finished. Not even hockey─ just a batch of pinheads dissecting the game like it’s brain surgery. The PBR should get a refund from Versus on that ½ hour.

HIGHLIGHTS:

The big story is J.B. Mauney with the top score in the first two rounds. Leah Garcia asked if he’s finally hit his stride. J.B.’s response: “I don’t know. I hope so. It’s about time.” Amen!

I’M JUST SAYIN’…:

Why is Flint the only one using the Shark Cage?

“Some how, some way, Shivers has done it!” Hummer Hype in the introductory montage from last week, touting Chris’s “win.” Some how, some way? How about, the judges cheating?

“One man who vaulted up the standings last weekend…” Hummer re Shivers. Yeah, with a stepladder provided by judges who didn’t notice a blatant slap.

For Robson Palermo’s ride, why wasn’t the bull’s name (Outta Da Blue) posted onscreen until after the ride? And why wasn’t the score posted? What’s taking so long? Three rides later, still no score announced for him. Why? Are the judges conferring about how much to underscore him, because he made the bull look easy, in spite of its on-a-dime direction change? Did they pull out a calculator to decide how much to give him so it keeps him still in the mix but not ahead of American riders? After the commercial break, Hummer mentions Robson having the only score on the board─ but nobody announced it. Eventually we see the scores onscreen─ still not announced. Palermo’s score: 86.50.

Ben Jones was airborne from Whiter Shade of Pale at 8, but everybody loves the guy and he already started the dance, so he was scored. (And I admit, I was glad.) And the score was?? Had to look it up on the website: 85.75.

I think they should mike Cody Lambert! I love hearing him talk about the bulls and telling the riders what they can expect and what they shoulda done.

Chris Shivers has 10 exemptions for being a two-time World Champ. I’ve heard about exemptions for world champions, but could someone please explain them?

Shane Proctor is coming up on the outside. Watch this dark horse!

Why would they change deliveries on a bull? (Hard Rock, that is.) Oh, I see: because Valdiron de Oliveira is the rider. Maybe they can stop him that way.

“Two Brazilians bucked off ever so quickly,” Hummer says. Would he ever say, “Two Americans bucked off ever so quickly”?

“Finishing in the top 5 has almost become commonplace,” says The Bummer about L.J. Jenkins’ recent rise. Yeah, when the judges are rooting for you.

Josh Faircloth should’ve gotten a re-ride for what happened with Deja Blu: I didn’t see him nod to get out, and neither did the commentators. Oh, I get it: Josh isn’t famous, so he doesn’t deserve a re-ride.

BEN JONES FASHION ALERT!

I know, I know: WTF? But you gotta admit those new orange dayglo chaps are attention-getting.

CAN I QUOTE YOU ON THAT?

“He’ll go from Ochocinco to Ochostinko.” – J.W.’s joke about what’ll happen to the football player if he doesn’t ride Deja Blu.

Hummer re Deja Blu: “A bull who has not played any favorites this season.” Unlike the judges.

“The bull says, Aw, silly rabbit; tricks are for kids.”—J.W. describing how King X faked out Shivers, who tried figuring out his next move.

“Can I borrow it again?” Mike Lee to Jory Markiss after he successfully rode Cowboy Compactor using Jory’s rope, for 86.75.

Ochocinco, when Ty asked how he felt about riding Deja Blu, after seeing the bull for the first time: “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Re Robson Palermo on Loaded Gun: “This is a really rank bull, but this is a really rank bull rider.” ─J.W., bless his lil’ heart, trying to say, “This is a really rank bull, but this is a guy who can ride really rank bulls,” and instead making it sound like Robson has b.o.

NITWITTICISMS: Yep, it’s him again:

“King X has his way with him…” More gratuitous sex talk; this time, about Shivers.

“The North Carolina Kid” ─The Bummer being stupid about J.B.

“He plans on dominating the NFL receiver tomorrow.” ─Hummer the Bummer talking about Deja Blu.

BULL STUFF:

Gotta love Houchie’s pogo moves. Black Cuervo’s a good bucking machine. Night Shows: cool bull! Energetic, doing every trick in the book. Hou’s Your Daddy has plenty of oingo boingo.

I’m still a huge Voodoo Child fan. He entered the arena like he was shot out of a cannon, then hopped, skipped, and kicked to get rid of Aaron Roy in a hurry. I could practically see the bull thinking about what to do, planning his moves.

NOT ANOTHER MUSTACHE!!

Guilty as charged: Caleb Sanderson. Jordan Hupp: another victim of the spring hirsute plague.

DANG!

Guilherme Marchi’s now 2 for 13; he hurt his back. All I know is, when my back goes out, I can’t even sit up right. Can’t possibly imagine what it feels like to try to ride a bull.

I really thought Josh Faircloth would make 8 on his Deja Blu re-ride, but dang! It was 7.

I LIKE IT

Mike Lee’s tuck and roll when he hits the ground.

THE CONTINUING ADVENTURES OF BEN JONES:

Bajada elicited the customary “Fuck!” from Mr. Happy Feet, plus a later growl at the camera.

TRUTH BOOTH, INDEED!

J.B. Mauney’s Cooper Tires Athlete Profile told it like it is: other athletes can get hurt and sit on the bench and still get paid. Bull riders don’t get paid unless they ride.  “So if you got a broke leg, you either ride or go home.” One way to help bull riding be taken seriously as a sport: find a way to pay the riders—even the injured ones. How about it, Spire Capital?

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About Bull Riding Marketing

Creative services, marketing and public relations professional from entertainment industry background. Published in magazines and newspapers worldwide. I believe bull riders are the new rock stars.
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