DULUTH – Day 2

ARRGGHH!

Same stupid problem: hockey ran 15 minutes into bull riding. Then we’re assaulted by the shouting moron stabbing his finger at us, delivering “This is the P! B! R!” in our faces. Betcha the guys who hired him think he’s some kinda General MacArthur. Mortifying. Not even the dumbest bull riding fan in the world would think this guy is cool, macho, or anything but a clown. (No offense to the rodeo “clowns.”)

HIGHLIGHTS

  • J.B.Mauney’s 87.25 ride on Bad Medicine. The direction change didn’t throw him. Woo-hoo!
  • Austin Meier on Iron Horse was one sticky dude! (87.25)
  • Robson Palermo’s 91.25 on Immigrant. Wow! what a ride.
  • This Built Ford Tough Invasion was worth the time. The guys delivered $20,000 worth of tools, food, and other supplies to the Red Cross for storm victims, courtesy of the PBR and some sponsors.

I’M JUST SAYIN’…

  • These football jocks are so cocky. Junior Seau pretended he wasn’t scared when he got freight-trained in the arena, but the look on his face as he picked himself up from the dirt said otherwise. At least Ochocinco admitted he doesn’t know what possessed him to say he wanted to try riding a bull, when he knew zero about the sport. And he did dress for the occasion.

I started feeling sorry for him when I saw his scared face  inside the cage helmet. I bet he is so wishing he kept his mouth shut. This was a good time to have the rider miked! The cowboys were taking pictures with their phones, the audience was on its feet. I think it’s bizarre that the PBR offered him $10,000 if he got out of the chute. I’m assuming he’ll do the obvious thing and donate it to charity. (How about the Rider Relief Fund?)

Did Hummer actually get bleeped?? Now there’s one comment I’d have loved to hear.

Gotta say, Ty is a good coach, trying to buck up Ochocinco until the last minute at the chute and as soon as he hit the ground: “Get up, Chad! Get up, Chad!”

This is what cost the PBR $10,000: “I could not believe the power coming out of the gate. If they had tied me to the bull, I still woulda bailed…I think you all should be the highest paid athletes in the world.” ─ Chad Ochocinco. It’s great that he said this on national TV…but now I’m wondering how much Junior Seau got paid for his bullfighting stunt.

  • Valdiron de Oliveira on Montanacanvas.com was underscored once again: 83.75, because a mid-to-high 80s score would have put him where? Not behind an American.
  • Marchi looked like himself again: dominated Blackberry, spurring away; after his ride he headbutted the camera. 85.75? We all know that ride was at least an 87─and if he were Chris Shivers, the confetti would’ve been flying.
  • Robson “Lefty” Palermo’s textbook ride on Hail Damage made it look easy─ but he was awarded another mid-80s score: 85.50, for a ride that certain other riders would’ve been scored 87.75. Jordan Hupp on Flashpoint got a higher score than Robson─ 86.25─ and there wasn’t much difference between the bulls.
  • Nobody hurried Meier out of the chute while he was adjusting before going out on Iron Horse, but they were telling Silvano Alves to hurry out on Speckled Ivory. (What a surprise!) Now THAT was a thrilling ride!! 92ish would’ve put him in the lead (ahead of the rider who’d be known as “J.B.MauneytheAmerican,” if The Bummer were treating all the riders equally), but noooo…he got 90. Sure, it’s a good score, but that bull catches outrageous air, with hang time, no less, and his first jump out of the chute makes people gasp. But the judges want either L.J. or J.B. to be the great white hope.
  • J.B. already won the event before the championship round (his first victory since last year in Springfield), by ½ point ahead of Robson. Gee, what a surprise. Now, I’m a Mauney Minion, and I don’t want to take away anything from his performance. I’m just sayin’ that those quarter and half point dings are what the judges have been doing to the Brazilians for weeks to bring them down (and they think it’s not obvious). Unfortunately it’s working.
  • Apparently that’s the new scoring strategy: keep the Killer B scores in the low and mid 80s so the Americans have a chance to catch up. It’s real shabby sour-grapes bad sportsmanship and it’s not the “cowboy way.” It’s pathetic, jealous, mean-spirited─ a serious reason to have some judges who aren’t American.

TRUE DAT!

The riders in the truth booth talking about Ochocinco’s upcoming attempt at Deja Blu:

“And it’s not just a dink bull, either.”

“I don’t think he has a shot in heck.”

“I’ll bet he’s pretty dang nervous.”

NITWITTICISMS, courtesy of the Chief Nitwit:

  • “He’ll hope to dial up a ride against a bull named Blackberry.” Uh, Craig, Blackberries don’t do dial-up. Did you miss class that day?
  • “But the bull says, ‘Not on my watch!’”— explaining how Rock Star threatened Luke Snyder for trying to ride him.
  • Apparently Hummer is incapable of calling someone just by their name. Aaron’s last name is now officially “Roythecanadian.”
  • “He’s a perfect 1 for 1.”—A display of superior idiocy, in talking about Silvano Alves before his fantastic 88-point ride on Perfect Poison.
  • And of course Craig focused on some jock’s comment about a guy having the “stones” to stay on a bull: “What kind of stones was he talking about? Ha ha ha ha ha!” Grow up!
  • “Austin Meier just found out who’s wearing the crown.”— this gem was delivered after King Lopez turfed Austin.

BULL STUFF

  • Yow! RFD HD’s big leaps jerked Travis Briscoe right out of his rope.
  • Cut Loose: yet another bull tries to escape Ben Jones in the chute. I think they’re scareda him.
  • Prodigy. A debut bull in Round 3?
  • King Lopez– Whew! It takes a fuckload of power to send Austin Meier flying.
  • Shane Proctor’s reride was Chance. And of course Hummer introduced Shane as “Meanwhile, we just showed you his brother-in-law…” I’ve never seen a bull hop with his back legs like that. Then I saw the replays, and that flank strap looked too damn tight. The bull seemed to have something wrong with him. Shane tried to leave the bull early when he thought the animal was hurt, and sacrificed his reride. I guess there’s no rule to cover being a good guy.

MUSTACHE MAY─MUST THEY?

I don’t know if Dustin Elliott started it, but ugh.

LOWLIGHTS:

  • Ryan McConnel withdrew from the championship round because of that awful landing on his neck last night. Hope it doesn’t get worse.
  • Marchi was I’m A Gangster’s 13th straight buckoff.

NOT JUST VERBULL ABUSE…NOUNS, TOO

“See how long he’s got a holt of it? That rares him back.”—J.W. explaining about Marchi holding onto the railing too long as I’m A Gangster exited backwards from the chute.

CAN I QUOTE YOU ON THAT?

  • “If he wants to go dance, this is a ride worth dancing for.” ─J.W. Hart talking about Ryan McConnel’s 86.50 trip on Next Thing Smokin. He’s really hung up on that dancing thing. Could this mean Hart has two left feet? (Just jokin’, J. Dub.)
  • “You never know with our judges; maybe they didn’t see it.” ─J.W. talking about Cody Nance’s slap on Prodigy. After which Craig joked about J.W. maybe getting in trouble for his remark and having a visit from a judge. Good on you, J Dub!
  • “We try to treat all these guys the same.” —Shorty slinging the bull about the riders.
  • “That’s something he can put in his bucket.” ─Shorty’s comment on Ochocinco’s harebrained attempt to ride a bull.
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About Bull Riding Marketing

Creative services, marketing and public relations professional from entertainment industry background. Published in magazines and newspapers worldwide. I believe bull riders are the new rock stars.
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