CAN I QUOTE YOU ON THAT?
- Shorty Gorham being interviewed by the booth boys about the bulls and the dirt while prepping for a chute to open: “Just trying to look for more jobs to do at the same time.”
- Luke Snyder in the Truth Booth: “I don’t know what ride the judges were watching; I thought it should’ve been a lot more.” You’re not kidding!
- Aaron Roy re Bushwacker: “I don’t have a strategy. If I think what a bull’s going to do, I buck myself off.”
- “Either way, I want people to remember my name forever.”—Douglas Duncan, choosing I’m A Gangster.
THE CONTINUING ADVENTURES OF BEN JONES (he ain’t dancin’, folks)
Ben Jones vs. Licks and Kicks: I’d like to check the bull’s name to see if I got it right, but can anybody tell me where in the world this information is on the PBR website? Can it really be that once an event is over, you can’t find out who rode (or not) which bull? Anyway, Ben got airmailed and left the arena at a trot.
“The effervescent Ozzie” was Justin McBride’s quaint way of describing rootin’ tootin’ Ben. He also had the nerve to ask Ben how he felt about his buckoff. Predictable response: “I’m mad!” I agree with McBride: the madder Ben gets, the more he tightens up and clamps down. When he’s having fun, he’s loose. Maybe he should do the dance first, to cheer himself up; then he’d ride.
I’M JUST SAYIN’…
- When a rider from Brazil opts out of an event because of an injury, we hear snide remarks like Hummer’s blather about “managing your season.” Translation: they’re soft; they should “cowboy up” and keep riding through every injury. But when an American takes a time-out, we hear how wonderful it is that so-and-so is working out, eating better, letting that injury heal, and getting on practice bulls before he returns. Robson Palermo’s out with an injured left shoulder (big DANG!!) and won’t be back until Milwaukee; I’d rather see him sit ‘em out and return when he’s better, than get worse and not ride bulls he should ride.
- For a second while Ryan McConnel was wrapping to go out on Betta Believe, I had the impression he was wearing a neck collar, but I was just picking up that his neck looks stiff and compressed. I wonder if that’s just habit since his bad injury, or did it never fully heal? Clearly his riding has suffered since then. I know riders truly believe they can heal at a superhuman pace, but that’s just all the concussions talking.
- Colby Yates lost his seat courtesy of Sea Legs. I know there’s a joke in here somewhere about him losing his landlegs. ACKK! No sooner did my fingers type that sentence, than Craig said something about Colby having to get his legs back under him. The difference is, Hummer’s scripted. I’m just a genius. J Wish there was a different icon for “don’t take this too seriously,” but I’m stuck with a fuckin’ smiley face.
- Gotta laugh at Ford’s effort to make their truck’s EcoBoost technology sound futuristic, macho, and tough by having Denis Leary brag about its 22 mpg. I’ve got news: my Honda Insight hybrid has EcoBoost, and 45 mpg is about average for me. But then, I’m not macho.
- L.J. Jenkins for some reason has decided to pick bulls he doesn’t know anything about. Lil’ Jefe (it’s a miracle, but Hummer pronounced it right) wasn’t all that; he did what he could, but the score was 84.75ish.
- I thought Ryan Dirteater was cheated with his Space Chimp trip. He made a great save somewhere around 6 seconds, and that bull was moving so fast…
- Re Silvano’s Perfect Poison ride: Judge #3 was lagging behind, and gave the lowest score of all, which means the lowest score Alves ever had on this bull. Think I’m gonna keep an eye on this; when #3 drags his ass, does that mean a lower score? And would that lower score be for a Brazilian?
- For J.B. Mauney’s Haunted Hotel ride, judge #3 had no trouble being on time with the same good score as the others: 89.25. Not his most graceful ride, either; free arm jerking around, not gliding like when he’s in the zone. Then he hooked a spur, and after he was off, he was dragged. Thank Shorty for jumping on him to weigh him down while another guy cut the rope. J.B. does have some dramatic get-offs, I have to say. I’m glad he didn’t get seriously hurt. However, Perfect Poison’s a tougher bull to ride, Silvano made it look easy, he gets 86.50. J.B. delivers a rocky trip on a good enough bull, the judges jump all over it. Why, because of the scary hangup? Not in the scoring rubric, guys.
- Even the commentators acknowledged that Grey Wolf isn’t a big-score bull, but Chris Shivers can “dress him up”. Translation: they threw him a creampuff. Then he bucked off Shivers. What was it Craig said about getting the buckoff that Cody Lambert needed?
- Fabiano Vieira did an amazing job with Too Sexy, stepped off on his feet, for 88.25. Interesting note: first, two 25s were posted for his score, then suddenly they changed and all four scores came in at more moderate numbers. Was that a case of, Oops─ we can’t give the guy a score as high as that?
- Pablo Vieira wins his first BFTS event, and Erin Coscarelli interviews Ryan Dirteater, #3, not the winner. Sure, the event was in Oklahoma, Ryan’s home territory, and he’s been showing real prowess. But god forbid anyone has the brains to grab someone who might speak a little Portuguese and ask Vieira how it feels to win his first BFTS event. Vieira looked stunned, anyway. Maybe that was because he heard Hummer say this was his best result since “De Moinz.” Yes, he pronounced the final “s.”
Wesley Laurenco should’ve stayed on Freckles; the bull had regular timing. After he was dislodged, a hind hoof crashed down on his hat, nicked his noggin— scary close call; an inch either way would’ve crushed his skull. A helmet might be a good idea, Wesley; you already have enough booboos.
Okay, at this point we can start calling Perfect Poison Silvano’s pet. This time Alves scored 86.50 on his back. McBride is right: that bull’s going to have to figure out something else to do against Silvano.
Bushwacker’s winning streak continues; Canadianaaron Roy didn’t stand a chance.
- Douglas Duncan on Big Money─ wow! The aerial view showed you how to stay centered: the top of his white hat stayed almost in the same spot for the whole ride, like a dancer spinning while spotting. 86.60?
- Another “perfect” ride, according to McBride: Valdiron on Moebandy.com: 86 and a hoof-konk in the face.
- Shane Proctor’s 2 for 15 on the BFTS, but he rode Sting Machine like he was a rocking chair. What’s with Judge #3; why is he always the last one to post a score?
- Last year’s Brazilian National Champion, Elton Cide, took on Blind Side, and man, that bull was jet-propelled! Sky-high leaps. If Cide had been able to stay on him, he would’ve had a monster score.
- Mike Lee on Blue Emu Hank: Hank’s initial hip-hopping screwed up Lee and created funky timing; Mike got a horn in the face. Then the bull faced off with Shorty. Wish I had a photo! “It was fun anyway,” said Mike.
- Ryan Dirteater, who was 3 for 18, took Shepherd Hills Trapper on a fabulous ride! 90 and a lot of Woo-hoo!
- During his rematch with Rowdy L.J., Marchi got too wild with his leg, going for extra points; just as I yelled at him, he went landward. As Justin McBride put it, “He got greedy.”
- Toy Soldier, Canadianaaron Roy‘s draft pick, was looking like a merry-go-round─ then suddenly Aaron lost his rope, just a hair short of 8 seconds. Shock! Horror!
- As Alves was wrapping on After Party, a chute guy was harassing him. Silvano rode until 7.96, then somersaulted while still holding the rope. Flint pushed the buzzer to challenge! It looked like Alves had just made it, but a slo mo replay showed an unavoidable touch at 7.4 because the bull had him over the hump.
DISH THE DIRT, CODY!
Cody Nance had “a little accident in the locker room” earlier, according to McBride, and had to get stitches in his riding hand. Inquiring minds want to know: why, Cody?
Very glad he wore a helmet. Tequila Joe gave him a parting shot in the head that dropped him. And the score is?? The booth guys forget we rely on them to transmit basic important information!
- “Alves controls his own destiny.” – Hummer
- “Silvano Alves had the first pick in the draft and he chose a bull called…Will it be an exclamation point on the weekend?” What the hell does Craig mean when he says that?
Jason O’Hearn on Titanium Tough made it to 7.88. Oh maaan!
Austin Meier got so close on Habanero, but got leaned back at 7.4.
VALDIRON DE OLIVEIRA – HIGH STEAKS
This was one of the most horrifying wrecks ever, especially since no one’s ever seen Valdiron crumpled like that. He was hung up and knocked out even before the bull fell on him twice. Then the hind hoofs crunched his ribs. I don’t know how much good a vest does in that situation. And there wasn’t much the bullfighters could do at that point. Valdiron was carried out on the board. A bad enough wreck for any rider, but when you see it happen to the world’s strongest rider, #1 or 2 most of this season, it’s chilling. I know I’m going to be queasy until I hear that he’ll live, that’s how bad this looked.
The followup report was that Valdiron has a head injury, and was taken by ambulance to the hospital, but was starting to wake up. Shorty, who looked genuinely stricken, said, “If you got any extra prayers at home, folks, please send them Valdiron’s way.” Amen.