Suprahz, suprahz, suprahz: Stormy Wing won the round with 90.25 over Guilherme Marchi’s 90 (oh, those clever quarter-point dings aimed at the Killer B’s). Only Caleb Sanderson was 4 for 4.
Pink is their color: Robson Palermo and Silvano Alves looking very dapper in those shirts.
Tyler Thomson’s still stylin’ in that purple shirt…which I hope he has more than one of, or by now, he’s stankin’.
Clichéd country singer: bearded, jeans, cowboy boots, tee shirt with shirt layered under it, baseball cap, electric acoustic guitar, exaggerated accent; trying so hard to sound tough. How is Eric Church “the hottest act in country music”? He’s so ordinary.
HUGE FOOT IN MOUTH
Two Hummer Bummers: “Caleb Sanderson has become the Cinderella story.” “Shows how much of a long-shot he really is.”
This one courtesy of Marty Snyder, who’s obviously been taking lessons: “Is this the best riding of your career?” he asked Caleb, after an 87.50 ride on Big Stink made Caleb 4 for 4. “For right now it is,” says the Florida cowboy, modestly. “Who’da thunk it comin’ in?” says Marty, who will never get a diplomatic post.
HERE’S YOUR SIGN:
Marty Snyder asked J.B. Mauney about his bruised tailbone. Sez J.B: “I can’t sit down very good, but they got me a pad built, and it helps me out a little bit.” Then he picked Train Wreck!!? He claims to have forgotten that previous wreck. Is the child brain damaged?? The rest of us will never forget it as long as we live. Sure enough, Train Wreck repeated last year’s performance: fell down and rolled completely over on J.B. I’m convinced he did it on purpose, to “send him a message”: Don’t push your luck!! Can’t believe J.B. got up and walked away (with a reride option).
CAN I QUOTE YOU ON THAT?
- “After the Finals, I’m going back to Brazil, practice riding bulls, keep training; when I come back next year I hope to keep riding as well as or better than this year.” Better? How’s that possible? Well, it’s Silvano. Guess it is possible.
- “A common misperception about me is that I’m hotheaded and wild, but I’m really just passionate.”─Ben Jones. And the difference would be…?
- “The guy who gets all his bulls rode is gonna win the event.” —Ty Murray. It’d be kinda hard to lose if you did, right?
The spotlight on the bullfighters. Frank Newsom’s been at it 18 years! “Frank’s always the calm one of the bunch, Shorty’s always talking, and I’m always laughing”─ Jesse Byrne, who obviously hasn’t taken enough kicks to the head yet. The Jesse cam is real trippy— what are those silver sparkles all over the dirt?
- Renato Nunes reversing his bad luck, riding Mac-Nett’s Southern Wine for 86.75─ a score delivered way after the next ride. Craig’s crummy crack: “We’re not used to seeing that from this Brazilian.” Gotta love Renato throwing his hat before he’s off the bull. Now he gets high-fived when he climbs the rail for his backflip. “He had good holts with his feet,” said Ty. Renato’s quote: “I gotta ride something. I feel bad the last three nights. I gotta ride anything here. I gotta get better and better.”
- Motown Magic took his usual two big leaps out of the chute, then went into a fast spin. Rubens Barbosa earned 88.75, and broke out a funny cowboy jig in celebration.
- Robson Palermo made it look easy to ride Vitalix White Velvet and score 88. Love that he throws kisses to the crowd. More cuteness: Alves, Marchi, and Robson hugging and slapping backs at the chutes.
- Red Man’s a half-brother to Bushwacker, and he’s supposed to be rider-friendly?? He took huge initial jumps, but as Ty said, “You couldn’t get Silvano off this bull with a rock.” 87.25 points made Alves smile on his way out.
Why are so many of the scores delayed a ride or two?
LAUGH OF THE DAY
While on duty as on-the-dirt announcer, J.W. Hart was ambushed by the fireworks during his commentary. So I’m not the only one who flinches. As J.W. helped pull Mike Lee’s rope on Betta Watchit, Hummer asked if he’d gotten over the explosions yet. “I messed myself three times,” was J.W.’s response. “You looked like a shell-shocked old bull rider up there,” Ty needled him. Hope the PBR website runs that clip of J.W. jumping out of his skin. Funny!
- Looked like Bushwacker flung Cord McCoy 15 feet. Said the effervescent redhead: “I know it sounds crazy, but I think Bushwacker was just getting warmed up. There were still 5 more seconds to go… That sucker packs a punch.”
- Joe Baumgartner threw himself in front of Harve Stewart, who was on the dirt, to save him from the bull, took a hit, and went down. It’s his next-to-last night of bullfighting before retirement, and he took a horn uppercut in the face; looked like he was knocked out before he hit the ground. Eventually he got on his feet, but had to be walked out, receiving a standing ovation. How can he not have a broken nose—at least!?
Joe has a concussion and chin laceration and sat out the rest of the night; he’ll be reevaluated for tomorrow. ‘It seems almost fitting that the bulls would give him a little parting gift,” said the Chief Nitwit about the couple of broken teeth.
Elliott Jacoby, in a worse slump than Colby Yates (1 in 28) separated a rib last night; tonight his bull’s hind legs crunched him on the dirt.
Cord’s trip on Marmaduke coulda been a big ol’ DANG! From across the arena in the booth, Ty was urging Cord to challenge; he said he would’ve paid the $500 himself. Good thing, too! There was no touch, but the judges said four replays were inconclusive. He kept the 86.50, unlike the times when an inconclusive replay means no score. I should track them so I could cite names. Cord is everyone’s darling; what if it were another rider? One who speaks Portuguese, perhaps?
APPARENTLY THE BULLS USE WESTERN UNION
Canadianaaron Roy tried debut bull First Nation Sensation, also Canadian─ and thumped hard on the dirt, fast. The Bummer trots out his tired old: “First Nation Sensation sends a message to the Canadian.” On Charlie Bullware, Luke Snyder had his hand pop out of the rope; he rode a couple of seconds without it (the rope, not his hand), inspiring the Hummerblather, “Charlie Bullware now sending a message to Luke Snyder.” Poor Luke trudged out, head in hands.
Sue lay down in the chute under Valdiron de Oliveira, got jumpy, lurched forward, lay down again, but couldn’t psych out Valdiron, who rode for 86.75, causing Hummer to blather some dumb rhyme ending with “the Valdironanator comes out to play.”
Last night of the classic bull pen.
- Back Bender (racing for ABBI Bucking Bull of the Year with scary Bad Blake, ridden once in 17 outs, who moans and groans in the chute) corners like a Maserati. First he leaned against the chute as hard as he could, adding to Douglas Duncan’s misery from a concussion RMEF Gunpowder & Lead gave him last night.
- V-5: WOW! What Ty described as a “hop, skip, and bounce” was a series of huge up and down bounds, to Wesley Laurenco’s detriment.
- WAS YA DRUNK? Trickster was a mess! Hit his head on the way out of the chute, fell down, rolled on his left side onto Justin Koon, then floundered trying to get up. Koon had the presence of mind and quick reflexes to get his hand out of the rope right away, save his butt, and get a re-ride option.
I’M JUST SAYIN’…
Justin Koon’s reride was Mood Swings, and he didn’t have much recovery time between rides. The bull stumbled forward, scraping the ground on his way out of the chute. How is that bad gonot a re-ride? Justin challenged, but a judge said he didn’t hit the button soon enough─ what an SOB, pulling this crap at the Finals! If the judge used the Chris Shivers Edition of the Scoring Manual, Justin would’ve been offered a re-ride before he was off the back of the bull. On his way out, he banged on the button again, yelling, “That working?” I sure don’t blame him. The judging favoritism SUCKS. It’s shameful.
WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS?
Bucking Machine lurched forward in the chute, smacking Fabiano Vieira against the front of it. Renato grabbed for him, but not soon enough; Fabiano got hurt and had to get up and reset. The bull’s behavior was caused by somebody cracking open the gate a little to get him to step forward into place, but when the bull saw daylight, he exploded, thinking the chute was opening. Ya hate when that happens. Said J.W., “helping” at the chute: “I’m just playing defense for these Americans.” Very uncool, JDub.
In Brazil, Vieira rode 60 bulls in a row, but this one fell down sideways on him. Another bovine that the bartender should’ve cut off last night. No score for Fabiano, because the back of his hand touched the bull. But if it was the back of Chris Shivers’s hand, wouldn’t he get a score? Or at least a reride?
Guilherme Marchi got stuck with unridden Sancho, and said he’d had a lot of bulls who were trouble in the chute─ which I said a while ago. He still scored 90, flew off nearly on his feet; first thing he did was pick up his hat from the dirt! Style.
PAINFUL TO WATCH
- Colby Yates, in his worst slump (25 straight buckoffs), said he has zero confidence. Didn’t help that his bull was bonkers in the chute. Ty says he’s getting “too mental” about it. Hey, I’d be “mental” too, if I my income was disappearing.
- He didn’t touch the bull last night, the bull contacted him, but Kody Lostroh was so upset about his no-score, he thought about it all night and slept two hours. Not the best way to prep for Round 4. He made 3 seconds on Santiago, whose head gave him a “love tap” as Kody was on the dirt.
- J.B. Mauney hung up on Shepherd Hills Sod Buster and got hurt again. He can barely walk; it looks really bad as he limps down the hallway and has to stop, grimacing. Someone please tell him to stop riding bulls for at least 3 months!
Randy Dirteater spotted his son, holding his vest while Ryan, a brace on his left elbow thanks to Stinger last night, got ready on Jiminey Cricket. Dad’s wise words: “It’s not an 8-second ride, it’s a 10-second ride.” Ryan made 7.69; he couldn’t have tried harder. Then Carney Man bucked him off; “irate” was how Ty described Ryan.
BEN, BEN, YOU’RE SCARING THE CRAP OUT OF US AGAIN!
Jason O’Hearn is out of the ICU, still dizzy, and may be discharged tomorrow. Ben’s been visiting the hospital every day, and will drive him home. (Obviously not to Australia.) Then Pandemic KO’d Ben. (Hummer, always one to take a Fox “News” approach to a bad thing): “Absolutely eerie that what happened to his best friend only two days ago now happens to Ben.” Ben finally got up and walked, but on his way down the hall, was seriously mad. Maybe all the knocks on the noggin are pressing the red button that triggers the mad?
- Tony Mendes is so cute; didn’t stay on Magic Man, but remembers to say “Hiya Mom” on his way past the camera.
- It cracks me up when the little guys pound their chests after a successful ride, like Stormy Wing’s 90.25 on Delco. How cute that he calls the interviewer “Sir.” He talked about being on the coffee table at home as a kid, watching Chris Shivers on TV, and today he got to pull Chris’s rope for him: “I’m living the dream.”