DAY 5 – SUNDAY SUPRAHZ, SUPRAHZ, SUPRAHZ: THAT ALVES KID WINS

I’M JUST SAYIN’…

Why isn’t Leah Garcia on this broadcast? Does someone think that because the event’s on national network TV, it’s better to have a man do the interviews, instead of the woman who’s been the glue for months? Even if NBC insisted on using its own commentator, doesn’t the PBR have enough clout to insist that he be teamed with Leah?

I may have to start a petition to shoot that jackass shoutin’ fool they use to open and close the broadcasts. Does ANYBODY like him? I think not.

The Rock Star Energy Drink commercial employed another idea I put in writing long ago: a skateboarder, associating youth extreme sports with bull riding. You guys either gotta pay me off or hire me.

That Blue Emu ad gets more relevant every time! Betcha J.B. Mauney takes baths in it.

When the hell is Rock Star Energy Drink gonna catch on that most women— who are more than half the PBR audience— don’t wanna see chickies in hot pants? When is the PBR gonna get that if they want this sport to be taken seriously, they should stop trashing it up? Move into the 21st century. Tell your sponsors that women are people, not body parts.

People were yelling at Silvano Alves in the chute on Yellow Jacket Jr.; don’t think I’ve yet heard yelling at American riders, no matter how long they take. Alves looked way out of position, but muscled back into place for 92.25. At his moment of triumph, cleavage and a navel were shoved in our faces below a Rock Star “Bring the noise” sign. Look, the crowd brings the noise for a good ride; we don’t need boobage in our noses to remind us.

J.B. got another crack at Bushwacker. Did he actually pick him, or was this just more crappy karma? If he chose Bushwacker, he’s got a death wish.

Comin’ up on the outside: Rubens Barbosa, who turned in another excellent ride: Priceless, for 92.50, and steps off on his feet. This is the rookie to watch─ unless Adriano has another surprise in store.

“He just gave his own exclamation point in Las Vegas,” blabbered Hummer when Caleb Sanderson scored 92.50 on RMEF something-or-other─ a real boost from the judges, who just had to score him above a Brazilian—another.25 ding they think isn’t obvious. Well it is, guys. You think we haven’t noticed how many times you do it? Play back the two rides and compare. Where’s the .25 difference? For that matter, why is Caleb’s a 92-point ride? You’ve lost all objectivity. You want an American to win the event title, and you love the storyline of Caleb surprising everyone by his performance at the end of the season.

After it was all over, the announcers made a big fuss over Robson Palermo and Silvano Alves, but didn’t even mention Valdiron de Oliveira—wasn’t he #2 in the standings??

DUFUS CENTRAL

“This man has had more 90-point rides than anyone else, and every time he comes out of the chute, there’s a chance of another one,” says Hummer the Bummer about Chris Shivers. Ya think?

“If you’re gonna be the best bull rider, you have to ride the best bulls.”— Marty Snyder. DUH. Is he taking Hummer lessons?

“I guarantee you Nunes is fired up for next season…”—Craig. He just seems to get stupider and stupider as the Finals goes on. Thank god there’s not a 6th day of riding.

Re Jock Connolly: “I saw him in the hallway just a minute ago, and he had that stone look on his face just waiting to see how things work out.” Um, he coulda just been stoned on painkillers, dude.

“Robson’s wired, so we get a chance to listen in to how he prepares.” It’s the same as last time, Hummer: he breathes. You can hear him breathe. Stop the presses! Send out an email blast! Write a press release! A bull rider breathes in the chute!

“He knows he’s got one last day of work this year, and he wants to be remembered.”─ The Bummer re Valdiron de Oliveira, making it sound like he’s every rider’s BFF and they actually tell him this stuff.  If Hummer’s been paying any attention to his interviews, that’s not how Valdiron thinks. The guy is humble, wants to do his best, and support his family.

HIGHLIGHTS

Fabiano Vieira’s unbelievable correction on Perfect Poison! He sure looked like he’d fall off portside, then starboard─ instead he pulled himself up, and scored a well-earned 91.75.

Jiminey Cricket had Douglas Duncan on the ground; Jesse Byrne jumped over Douglas in front of the bull’s face, and got himself launched Air Jordan-like into the air by JC’s horns, saving Douglas from even more of a trouncing than he did get. Jesse got applause from Duncan, and man, that kid’s worth it!

Silvano’s 88.25 ride on Big Iron. Alves is Superman.

Valdiron de Oliveira was #1 for 17 weeks before Alves passed him. He was so excited about riding Jack Daniels After Party for 90.25, he was whooping over and over. His getoff against the fence looked like it could’ve broken his arm if he didn’t get out of that position right away, but he was too happy to notice.

Theme song for Guilherme Marchi on Cowboy Casanova (86.50): “I Got Rhythm.” They were totally in sync.

My heart was in my mouth when Robson Palermo’s ride on King of Hearts was reviewed. I KNEW THERE WAS NO SLAP! The bull came up and touched his armpit. Robson got 93.25 and a big hug from Silvano, who, if anyone has noticed, isn’t the most demonstrative guy, a double hug from Marchi, another hug with Valdiron, Adriano Moraes patting both his cheeks (pretty funny), and all the guys tousling his head and squishing down his hat. MAN, THE JUDGES WERE HONEST THIS TIME! I thought I was gonna cry at the look on Palermo’s face when he realized he won the event and $250,000. He SO deserves it.

CAN I QUOTE YOU ON THAT?

“That guy is my hero when it comes to grit,” Ty said about Austin Meier’s 89-point trip on PFI Boot Daddy.

BEN AGAIN

Ben Jones and his wife were at the hospital every day at 7 a.m. to lift Jason O’Hearn’s spirits, per Dr. Freeman’s orders. Then Ben climbed on Hot Stuff, the bull that clocked Jason. He got bucked off so quickly, I thought maybe Ben conked out while he was riding.

A ROBSON MOMENT

Robson rode Crosswired for 89.75─ shoulda been at least 90; he even rode for extra seconds─ with a torn rotator cuff in his riding shoulder. Holy crap!! Have you ever torn one? Let’s see; how can I describe it? Fire and knives at the same time; even turning your head sends shooting pains all over the area. Excruciating.

Marty: “How are you doing this with your shoulder?” Palermo: “I don’t know. God help me. God put the hand and help me. I want to say thank you everybody come and help…I feel good now.”

Palermo is set for surgery that’ll take him out of action for 6 months, but of course thinks he’ll be out for only 5 months, and come back in May, missing half the season.

ROCKET SCIENCE: YA SURE YA DON’T WANNA GO 3 FOR 3??

J.B. Mauney commenting on Train Wreck falling down on him in both Finals: “That’s a kind of freak deal having the same thing happen here two years in a row. I don’t think I’m gonna pick him again.” I don’t suppose it occurred to ya that the bull did it on purpose, because he figured it worked the last time?

BULL STUFF

Paycheck fizzled out, knowing exactly when 8 is. J.B. got an 86.50, because he’s J.B., and the judges use the Chris Shivers Edition of the Scoring Manual for him, but the bull didn’t have much vertical slope.

Jaw Breaker’s unridden, 21 times in a row; he even blew off Marchi.

Shepherd Hills Trapper can stand utterly upright, then kick his hind legs sideways. Very impressive trick.

WHY’S EVERYBODY ALWAYS PICKIN’ ON ME? (Name that tune and who sang it.)

Damn, Buckey is mean— after Justin Koon came off his back at 7.25 seconds, Buckey did a big sideways leap, scrambling to get a shot at Koon on the ground. Justin’s had a lot of bad moments lately.

Somebody was yelling at Valdiron, “You got 20 seconds to get out!” just as BigTexTrailers.com started leaping forward in the chute. Valdiron made the ride (88.50), but landed hard on his tailbone and looked a bit woozy.

DANG!

Renato Nunes ends his World Finals having ridden only 1 in 5. He’s having wrist surgery in January and shoulder surgery in May. Horrible contrast to last year.

DUUUDE…

Poor Cord McCoy—the one-two punch in the same 5 days: First Bushwacker, now Asteroid. The bull hipped himself so hard it changed his direction. Cord got a reride, but─ lucky him─ not on Asteroid. At least, with his 89.25 on Gray Squirrel, he’s on an upswing after that awful 20-buckoff streak.

LOVE IT

The clip of Bushwacker showing verticality, launch, drop, hang time, and everything else he’s got─ and Ty Murray saying he looks like “flying Dumbo.”

“More Bang…More Buck” PBR promo video clip. Clever sots!

Silvano’s interview, talking about his family’s bull riding tradition and his longtime dream of winning a world championship, saying that his family will be content if he wins. Content?? I think the word is ecstatic.

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About Bull Riding Marketing

Creative services, marketing and public relations professional from entertainment industry background. Published in magazines and newspapers worldwide. I believe bull riders are the new rock stars.
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