Coming in, Valdiron is only 13 points ahead of J.B.
You know what’s great? A mute button. Unfortunately I didn’t hit it soon enough to spare myself Hummer’s opening monologue, which seems to have been penned by Marvel Comics writers. I’m surprised we weren’t hearing “Biff! Bam! Pow!”
BAD LUCK BRENDON (0 for 3) replacing Cody Nance, tried riding with his right arm taped and braced; it didn’t work. “It’s getting to be that time in his career,” said Ty.
Douglas Duncan talked in Truth Booth about his two KO’s in previous Pit appearances. The first time, the bull flipped over on him in the chute and knocked him out. The second time, the bull wrecked him and gave him a scar near his lip. He said he’s trying to reverse that luck this time: kissed his fist, touched fist to chin, fist to forehead, “Knock on wood.”
Well, the bad luck continues. His pick, Tremors (Ty Pozzobon’s Round 1 bull) delivered big jumps, fast spins, and was probably thinking just what Ty Murray said: “Get away from me!” Douglas was in trouble early, then hung up for a while until one of the bullfighters was able to reach over the bull’s back and undo the rope, releasing him; he did a good job staying on his feet, or he would’ve been seriously banged up. The bull was still working out like a maniac long after Duncan was down. Hummer’s comment: “Three letters: W–O–W.” I had four: “WHEW!” This is just not Douglas’s town. Maybe next year he’ll doctor out ahead of time instead.
Shawn Best II, invited rider, winner of the Indian National Finals Rodeo Championship. In his first BFTS event, he got slammed with Shepherd Hills Sod Buster─ and the bull fighters weren’t near either the bull or Shawn while he got rolled and shoveled him on the ground; they came in late.
THEM CLONES, THEM CLONES, THEM TOUGH CLONES
I’m Back, ridden only 25% of the time in the BFTS, let Markus Mariluch get halfway through a trip; lucky Markus ended up on his feet. Cord McCoy lasted longer on Another One, but still no score. Emilio Resende, in his second BFTS event, got paired with Mister Slim, who was already showing his forward movement in the chute. He made 5 seconds, but at one point he was literally lying on the bull’s back. Maybe he shouldn’t have started spurring so soon.
I’M JUST SAYIN’…
According to Hummer, L.J. Jenkins “has already won twice in Albuquerque, and he’s going for the hat trick.” Yeah, we all know how the New Mexicans “won” last year.
THIS IS WHEN YOU HATE TO BE RIGHT:
Marchi did get a concussion; he won’t be in the Championship Round.
SO NOT A FASHION ALERT─MORE LIKE AN EMERGENCY
Did Ty Murray and Travis Briscoe go shopping together? They’re both sporting hellacious eye-punishing shirts.
- J.B.’s 90.75-point gaw-jus ride on Pure Smoke, who charged out of the gate.
- Valdiron took on Cooper Tires How We Roll, for 88. (“The Battle of the Bigs,” Craig called it.) Valdiron told Leah Garcia, “You’re right, I don’t like to be #1; I’d rather be the one chasing that position rather than being chased. But I don’t want to pass that up, now that I’m here.” (He came in # 2 in this event.) Love seeing him doing pushups with Flint again. But let’s face it, if they don’t use the translator, they need subtitles for Valdiron, even when he’s using English. And how much did I want to strangle that bimbo waving the “Bring the Noise” sign nonstop behind de Oliveira’s head? A LOT.
- J.B. Mauney’s trip on T Rex was a fabulous flying ride; he was serious! Rode him jump for jump, twisting and turning. The bull was airborne, with serious hang time, and his front end came down so hard, his nose touched the dirt. In slo mo it was even more incredible─ like watching J.B. ride Pegasus. (“T Rex going prehistoric” was Craig’s lame-ass attempt at describing it.) 87.25 was the score, for a definite 90-point ride. This ride should go on J.B.’s highlight reel, along with his Code Blue ride in New York, for the next generations who won’t get to see him ride in person.
- Maybe this should be an EEK! but it was astounding. Austin Meier, who missed the 15/15 “bucking battle” because of his shoulder, had no pick, and got stuck with Jaw Breaker. He told Leah that because of his injury he can’t get out on the end of his arm, so he has to ride with perfect form. Well, he came down at 4.96, 2 seconds longer than anyone else woulda stayed on; he was riding sideways at one point, when the bull flipped his body up and flung Austin over onto the other side.
- Valdiron vs. Jr. Bonner─ what a wild fling that was! The bull blasted out big move after big move; one of the Booth Boys said the bull must be thinking, “Why is this guy not off my back!?” They FINALLY gave him a 90! He takes the lead, and The Bummer takes the opportunity to spew out one of his favorite clichés: “and he says to J.B. Mauney, you want your #1 ranking back, you’re gonna have to best me!” As if any of these guys would talk like that to one another!
- Valdiron’s bull was extraordinary, J.B.’s was tough, too; I would’ve tied their scores.
That montage of de Oliveira’s rides, proving conclusively that yes indeed, if you’re a bull you don’t want to turn into Valdiron’s right hand. The perky music accompanying it made it a hoot.
FASHION BULLETIN! Jesse Byrne’s new Dickies jersey will be purple. Purple rules!
- Meat Hook, the debut bull that has definitely hooked some cowboy meat, kicks so high that his hind end comes so far over his shoulders, it makes him walk or skip on his front legs. Harve Stewart surprised us all by riding him, for 89.50.
- MacNett’s Southern Wine made Fabiano Vieira look like an amateur, and that’s saying something. Ty wondered why this bull wasn’t in the championship round, and I agree.
Yesterday Renato Nunes was put on the clock in the chute while Mailman, who tried to leap out of the chute, was still acting up. The judge kept yelling, “He’s on the clock! He’s on the clock!” (as if Renato doesn’t understand those two words of English) “I understand,” he told the man. “You don’t have to keep saying it!” Renato was MAD, and he channeled it into a great ride─ looked like a little demon on that bull. After the ride he threw his hat back into the chute in the direction of the judge. I’ve never seen him blow his top, but he sure had good reason. I’ve yet to see an American put on the clock, especially while a bull is rocking and bumping around in the chute. Renato was so mad, there was no back flip.
Ty said he didn’t know what Renato was mad about, that his behavior was borderline bad sportsmanship, and didn’t know why they didn’t levy a fine. Did he not see the bull bucking in the chute and Renato being unable to finish wrapping? Did he not hear the chute boss yelling, “He’s on the clock, he’s on the clock!”?
You wanna talk about bad sportsmanship? How about the judges cheating and bending the rules to favor some riders over others, overscoring some and underscoring others, and ignoring blatant slaps to help their favorites win events? How about last year, when the bullfighters cheered only for American riders and somehow managed to not get to the Brazilian riders quite in time when they came off their bulls? How about the way the chute guys hassle Valdiron in the chute almost as soon as he sits down?
Renato’s next bull was Play Harder, one of the meaner bulls on tour, according to Shorty. “When a rider gets off the bull, he knows where they are; the bullfighters have to really be on their game,” he said. This one made it halfway over the front of the chute. Poor Renato! Two crazy bulls. Another great trip, but for only 86.50 and a big boo from the crowd (and me)– he deserved more. Renato did all the work on that bull, really digging down, not in his usual flying-by-the-seat-of-his-pants style. I would’ve liked to see him take on J.B.’s bull; probably woulda been 90-points. This time there was a backflip.
P.S. Renato got a concussion in Round 1 from Rack Em Up. I think he came off that bull because he was a little too wild.
- That awful Pit feature: the Staircase of Shame that cowboys have to shlep up after they’re off the bull, ride or no ride. Not only that, Sports Medicine is at the top. How fun is that, climbing 86 steps when you’re concussed, bleeding, or broken in various places?
- No score for Robson Palermo this weekend. Have we ever heard that before?
- Or this: “Austin Meier on the bubble.”
- Kody Lostroh, riding with a rib fracture, took on Rowdy All Night using a Josh Koschel bull rope for the second time. It takes a few bulls to get it “broke in,” says Ty. The bull made a serious effort to rocket up out of the chute, but “Kody looks like he’s in a sandwich shop in there, he’s very calm, all the way up to when he nods his head,” said Ty. Yeah, ‘cause nobody’s hustling him out. Anyway, the bull’s horn launched Kody halfway across the arena.
- L.J. Jenkins got revenge for being knocked out in Baltimore by draft pick Red Man’s big ol’ horns; 87.75 for a good looking ride.
- Austin Meier went in with a bruised rotator cuff and injured shoulder, untaped, from yesterday’s Round 2, courtesy of PhiPhi’s Secret, who stepped on, butted, and crushed him. Due to his brilliant announcing skills, Hummer confused us all: was Austin’s current bull El Patron, who bucked off de Oliveira in Round 2, or Rush Hour, as Craig said? Either way, from this ride, you’d never know Austin was hurt. Nice work, even if it got him only 84.75 and a big thud at the end. Leah: “What’s your decision?” (about getting on another bull) Austin: “It’s nothing a little Blue Emu can’t handle.”
Kody Lostroh did a slammin’ great job on Gator Bend (who’d already dumped Robson Palermo), but DAMN, the ride review showed that he reached for his rope at 7.83. He said he thought he heard the buzzer: “Stupid mistake. As I was going off him, then I heard the buzzer, and I realized I hadn’t heard it the first time.” Afterward, Kody was standing next to L.J. in the wings, looking like he was fuming and sad at the same time. Wish Craig had shut up so we could hear what L.J. said to him. If Lostroh hadn’t had that brain fart, he would’ve come into the Championship Round 3 for 3.
Haven’t seen Black Ivory, one of my favorites, in a while─ bet J.B. Mauney wishes he hadn’t, either. The bull’s bucking in the chute smashed J.B.’s ankle; he had to get up and take time to get himself together, hobbling and trying to fix it, but nope. Don’t think I’ve ever seen J.B. get off a bull. He was given a re-ride. Is this considered being fouled in the chute? I’ve seen other riders get mangled in there and still have to ride. I was looking forward to that matchup. Leah: “I’m standing so close to him, I’m tempted to ask him, “And why did you pick this bull? But I won’t.” Can you imagine what Erin Coscarelli would’ve done? Mighta been the first time a cowboy punched someone on TV.
P.S. Love the vest with “Ridin’ Dirty” printed on the back. I’d buy one.
I DID NOT KNOW THAT
Kody hasn’t won an event in 2 years. Mike White won Albuquerque 3 consecutive times.
Leah’s gorgeous print shirt in dark green, white, and accent colors, with long trumpet sleeves. Just my style!
SOMEBODY HELP ME!
Ty Pozzobon’s bull was called Prince Albert, and I know there’s gotta be a joke in there somewhere about Prince Albert in a can (remember those phony phone calls you made when you were in high school?), but I can’t find it. Maybe you can come up with one. Here’s the punchline, anyway: “Well, you better let him out.” Alas, the Prince tossed Ty and took a run at the bullfighters.
Sevi Torturo, not visible on this circuit for a while, was an alternate for Marchi. He rode two, but Wild Child didn’t let him go 3 for 3. P.S. Sevi makes his living training barrel racing horses. And he still wants to get his ya-yas out by getting bull-bashed?
KOOL KOWBOY VERB TENSES ARE BACK!
“He likes to get a guy shook loose,” said Ty Murray about Yellow Jacket Jr. and yup, he did, despite Luke Snyder’s valiant effort.
…KOOL KOWBOY FASHIONS ARE NOT
Now Craig AND Ty are wearing op art shirts. Any TV director can tell you not to wear busy patterns on TV. Obviously theirs is clueless.
CAN I GET AN AMEN!?
- “Hey Shorty, you’re impressive,” said Ty about Shorty’s multi-tasking. “This commentating, it’s hard enough when you don’t have a big black bull fixin’ to run over the top of you.” Didn’t totally catch Shorty’s answer, but Ty’s comeback was, “You gotta deal with the bulls, and I gotta deal with Craig.” “I think Ty was trying to tell me I make his job difficult,” said Hummer. Couldn’ta put it better myself. Well, actually I coulda put it less politely.
- “If you wrote this weekend as a Hollywood script, no one would believe it!” You said it, Craig. Happens a lot lately.
CAN I QUOTE YOU ON THAT?
- “Ty got on me last week for fallin’ off of two of ‘em, so I figured I better stay on.”─J.B., becoming the first 3-time winner of the 2012 season.
- “JB Mauney’s one of the most talented bull riders to ever not win a World Championship,”—Ty Murray.
The World Standings now: de Oliveira, Mauney, Eguche, Alves