Whiiine– when is Mustache May gonna be over?
BIG OL’ BOO-BOOS
A fractured eye socket, broken foot, and recent concussion– it’s unbelievable that Valdiron rode this weekend. And he used to be such a sensible man.
At least the introductory voiceover that followed Hummer was reasonable.
NOT TALKING SMACK
“You gotta hate to lose more than you love to win.”—Austin Meier talking about Valdiron de Oliveira: “He‘s doing everything he can to keep on ridin’, keep on truckin’.”
“In this sport, you get paid at 8 seconds, and if you come in with a 7.9, you’re goin’ home with a big fat zero.”—Luke Snyder. On behalf of all the bull riders in the world, Ouch!
THAT WAS THE WEEK THAT WAS
JB Mauney made his third right-handed ride, for 89 points, on Bad Blake. There were a couple of big uh-oh moments, but he still had the tail of the rope in his hand. Why is he hobbling, though? Did I miss another booboo?
On May 8th, he married Lexie. According to Leah, this is how it came down: His soon-to-be-wife told him, “If you wake up Tuesday morning and you can fit a ring on your finger, we’re going to the courthouse.” He iced his broken finger the night before, and the next day they got married, with just one witness.
BEST BUILT FORD TOUGH INVASION EVER
Brendon and Luke are en route to their supposed destination, a potato farm (and trying to sound perky about it), getting lost (“The GPS says we’re right here”) when a cop cruiser comes after them, siren wailing, and pulls them over. (Luke’s first reaction– “Shit!”– was edited.) The officer asks for license and registration; Luke can’t find it in the glove compartment: “I coulda swore it was in here.” “What did we do wrong?” Brendon wants to know. “We’ll get to that later,” the cop says. He makes them step out of the truck, and more cars arrive with sirens screaming. I’m pretty sure another exclamation was edited out here. Then Shorty Gorham steps out of a cruiser.
If Luke and Brendon actually were in on the joke, they did a pretty good acting job. This Invasion was really about the local K9 unit, not a potato farm–but how cute that the guys were game for making a spud ranch visit seem like fun. The lesson learned from watching police dogs rip into a well-padded body part on command: “When the K9 officer tells you to do something, you better do it!” Brendon wanted revenge on Shorty, though: “Your time is coming.” Shorty’s up for it: “Let the games begin!”
I really hope they do. It gets boring seeing how much of what the F150 can haul.
The officer who faked them out was given a chute side seat. Good thing, since there were so many empty ones.
IT’S IN THE JEANS
Loved seeing JB Mauney out of uniform, fence-sitting at the ranch, talking about his grandfather, a pro ball player who lost both legs, but kept hitting– from a wheelchair. “Anytime anybody tells me I can’t do something. I’m gonna try everything I can and do that,” was the gist of JB’s speech. “If he can do that, I can ride bulls right-handed.” Lynn Mauney’s not kidding: “Toughness runs in our family.” This was Ty Murray’s gold star: “He does things other top athletes can’t do because they don’t have the guts.”
BULLS BEHAVING LIKE ROCK STARS
Buckey was just doing his gig– bucking off Marco Eguche—and got so into the moment that he took out a sign, ripping it off the fence without missing a beat.
For one instant, before he got tossed six feet in the air, Luke Snyder did some impressive trick riding on Red Hot: facing backwards.
Ryan Dirteater, who was off last week for a concussion, looked just great on RMEF Gunpowder & Lead —I don’t care if the bull traveled across the arena. 91.25 was definitely deserved. His interview: “You’re just coming back from a concussion; how are you feeling?” Big grin: “I’m just warmin’ up, Leah!”
Renato Nunes looked beautiful on Bucking Machine and racked up 92 points. An aerial view showed his hat practically staying in one spot as the bull whirled around. Leah asked how he felt about handling the bull’s brutal first jump out of the chute: “He got me! I don’t know how I did it, but I got him.” At least I think that’s more or less what he said. He was positively bubbling.
Stormy Wing’s ride on Train Wreck also was rated 92.00. Ty Murray said he thought Wing could’ve gotten a few more points, “but I’m not a judge.” Sometimes I wish he was, but not this time. He thought Stormy’s ride was the best of the weekend. I disagree. Was his score higher than Ryan’s because of the bull’s difficulty? No, that’s not it: this maneuver was to keep Stormy even with Renato.
Kinda mean of Cody Lambert to hitch up Valdiron with Cowboy Casanova, who’s a nightmare in the chute. That’s where de Oliveira’s foot got broken in the first place. Supposedly he told Hummer and Ty that he didn’t feel any pain after his terrible Mohegan Sun wreck. He even sent Tandy Freeman a photo of himself working out in the gym. And after all that, Valdiron made a super-focused 91.25 ride. Tie score with Dirteater.
And then Silvano delivered one of his patented cakewalks on Mega Ton for 88 points– because 89 would’ve tied him with JB. Declaimed Hummer, “Alves in the predator position, just waiting to pounce. If Valdiron shows any weakness this weekend, Alves will be in.”
THE RESULT OF ALL THE CAREFULLY MANEUVERED SCORING:
Nunes and Wing tied, followed by de Oliveira and Dirteater tied, then Vieira, Mauney, and Alves.