BOISE BASICS

A lot of high-scored rides, and yet a lot of slippage on the part of the bulls; a lot of slanting diagonally at the ground. What’s the dirt on the dirt, Shorty?

Both Craig’s and Ty’s shirts are eyeball-punishing. And then– gaagg! Emilio Resende snuck into one of their closets and came up with another  test-pattern shirt. Somebody please hire them a personal shopper!!

For the first time, the annoying crawl at the bottom of the screen actually was relevant: it announced that Mossy Oak Mudslinger is dead.

EXCELLENT PENMANSHIP

Cody Lambert gets a gold star for the bull power he set up this weekend. Gravy Train was so springy, and got Nunes leaned so far back that Renato’s head was bouncing on the bull’s butt. Gravy Train delivered some great surprises: big twists while changing direction. White Wolf, unknown to most viewers before this weekend, brought serious action to his spin; he’s worth seeing again.

ROUND 1

HIGHLIGHTS

Emilio Resende’s 88.50-point ride on Skatman Hou.

I’M JUST SAYIN’…

Why did Austin Meier keep his Round 1 68.50 score on Whirly Blues? Not a good call; the Alves method doesn’t fit everyone. And according to Craig Hummer, “Austin Meier is one of our perennial favorites.” What, like a daisy?

Cody Nance passed up a reride and kept his 75 on Buck Naked. That Alves strategy is really catching on.

Wow— we made it 1½ hours into the broadcast before being subjected to the theme song. Dare I hope that they’re gradually phasing it out? Probably wishful thinking on my part, but come on, guys, you’ve got 3 months to change your tune. You should hear the lyrics to the CBR’s theme song.

ROUND 2

Per Freeman’s orders, Guilherme Marchi sat out because of a concussion and the new stitches in his chin. And he still doesn’t wear a helmet! Brendon Clark was his substitute.

NOTHING TO DO WITH BULL RIDING, BUT IT’S THE HEADLINE

JB Mauney walking hand in hand with Lexie and holding baby Bella: “Today I did a little something different when I got up today, and now it’s over; I’m a married man. I always thought I’d end up with her, but I fought it for a long time. It’s a prideful thing, I guess.” Cue sheepish grin. That bad boy look alone is gonna send the buckle bunnies running for their push-up bras as they set their caps for him. Again. (But jeez, could he have gotten any closer to the phrase, “ball and chain”?)

HIGHLIGHTS

Austin Meier rode Serendipity with injured ribs and a Brazilian rope. (If ya can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em?) Looked like a piece o’ cake. 84.50. Now, is that mediocre score because he made it seem easy to ride that bull? Or is that bull actually easy?

Valdiron was happy with his 87.75 on Jack Black, who’s 2 for 39 (scary, huh?). “I look a little bit ugly,” he told Shorty afterward (you know: broken eye socket, head wound, concussion, etc.), “but I felt good riding.”

Too bad Shane Proctor’s leaving the BFTS (only temporarily, I hope). His 88-point ride on Merlot Man was a reminder of the Shane Proctor we remember.

Love it: Silvano Alves eating a burger in the locker room before his ride, when other people might be nervous or doing pushups. “I was just hungry.” I don’t know who else could’ve stayed on when Angry Bob genuflected. You’ll never see another rider handle a move like this bull made. His head and side scraped the ground, and tilted Silvano so far that his right foot touched the ground; as the bull came up, Alves shifted his hips and left leg and actually succeeded in staying in place. Silvano scored an 86.50; another example of why last year’s #467 on his back, when he won his first event, is now a single-digit.

Shock Wave was more like maybe a tremor. Or maybe Mike Lee made it look that way, earning his 86. Love his forward somersault victory roll.

Ben Jones made a strong, controlled ride on Funeral Wagon, with a flying dismount, for 87.75. (Funeral Wagon’s a horrible name for a bull.) Shorty loved the dance: “As many times as I’ve seen it, I still giggle every time.” You and me both. Marchi talked to Ben today and helped get his head back on straight; he told him to “regather.” “I blew my head out yesterday,” Ben admitted.

Ryan Dirteater made quite the emphatic escape from Firestorm after his 90.75 ride. He’s definitely learned his lesson about getoffs: he ran as far as he could get, all the way up to and hanging more than half over the top rail. One inch farther and he’d have flipped over into the stands.

Trainable was utterly frantic after he ditched Fabiano Vieira, treating his rear to a headbutt that shot him across the dirt like he was launched from a siege engine. Cute note: Leah reports that on the plane, Fabiano has to pull down the window shade for takeoff, he hates it so much.

In spite of his screwed up knee, Luke Snyder racked up a 90 on Dark Shadow, and sure looked happy.

THE RE-RIDE MERRY-GO-ROUND

Luke Snyder wanted another crack at Cool Hand Luke, who previously kicked his ass, so he picked him in the draft. Awww, man—he handled some high jumps, then got a re-ride option because the bull didn’t spin, and galloped across the arena. Maybe the opposite delivery from what the bull’s used to made the difference in his performance.

FASHION ALERT: Cody Nance is back on the case, with a groovy purple print shirt (or polka-dot; hard to tell on TV) and completely not-matching neckerchief. The boy does take fashion risks.

GO, HARVE!

That #41 on Harve Stewart’s back last year is now #17.

I’M JUST SAYIN’…

I am BEYOND sick of Flint’s Bon Jovi song and the audience sing-along in the background during rides. Hearing it several times a year in person is more than enough. Jon: please take back the performance rights!!

After a ride, when the second, larger score box comes onscreen, why can’t it include the bull’s name, and not just the scores?

Cody Nance was in total control on Mean-Eyed Cat, who had no direction change− and yet, he gets a high score: 87, which BTW was late coming in. Were the judges busy doing The New Math? Wonder what the score would’ve been for a Brazilian rider on a bull that didn’t change directions?

Harve did all the requisite moves on New Face: gliding arm keeping him perfectly balanced, his ride was textbook-smooth, but I’m partial to wild bulls and wild rides, crazy tricks and Hail Mary moves. His 86.75 was just .25 enough to take the lead from Valdiron. (What a surprise!) Ding!

I always wonder what the bulls are saying when they moan in the chute.

AWWW

Justin Koon, Austin Meier, L.J. Jenkins, and Ben Jones were recruited to send out their Mother’s Day greetings to those mamas who let their boys grow up to be cowboys. Ben: “I love you as much as I love bull riding, and you know how much I love bull riding. I wouldn’t have had the opportunity otherwise.” Austin was touching: “You been with me through thick and thin, banged and bruised and beat up [editor’s note: that would be Austin, not Mom]. I want to tell you that I love you.”

YIKES!

Mike White’s bull Juice bashed around Marco Eguche in the chute, even turning his head back around like he was gonna bite him. This bull has some wild moves, snaking along the dirt, faking back and forth, sideways leaps and low-down belly rolls that completely bollixed up Marco.  He took Eguche down like he was just a little mutton buster.

Sevi Torturo, replacing Robson Palermo, has gone way beyond Mustache May duty, with a full-blown beard. Overachiever.

Fresh-faced Nathan Schaper tore his bicep muscle from the bone, and will be out for 6 months after surgery. But he still wanted to ride in the Championship Round. “It’s already torn, I really can’t screw it up anymore, and it really don’t hurt that much,” he explained. Leah mentioned Adriano Moraes riding Crossfire Hurricane with a torn bicep. If you’ve ever seen that bull buck, you know how godlike Moraes is to stay on him. Having personally squeezed Adriano’s arm, I know how he did it: he’s made of granite. Arm in a brace, Nathan took on Prince Albert, and I knew that wouldn’t end well. That bull has a wicked whip around the bend. Still, Nathan finished #8, which is his first top 10.

JB chose Push It because of the bull’s name (of course)–but you can’t always. Trading the #1 slot with Valdiron for 6 weeks has him revved, but tonight’s head-to-head collisions– three hits to the head, and the third blasted his helmet across the ring. Gotta love how he gets applause even for getting slam-dunked. But hey, when did that limping start? This is how he was at last year’s Finals.

ROOKIE BLUES

In the Truth Booth, if Lachlan Richardson  got any calmer, he was gonna fall asleep. Such a spectacular debut it tough to follow it up, and tonight he looked like he’d never been on a bull, quickly getting out of position and being unable to scramble back into place. He’s a wild little rider, though; I like how he used the bull’s ass as a handrail for the getoff. He’ll get the knack back, though. This is no one-hit wonder; it’s just a case of deer-in-the-headights. No worries, mate.

CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND

Couture and creative, too: Cody Nance broke in his new Jared Farley-made bull rope by tying it to a tractor to stretch it. Didn’t make a bit of difference to Great White, who has 18 straight bucks. Rambunctious in the chute, the bull came out leaping, double-kicking as he was airborne. How do you train a bull to do that?? “I thought teeth were coming out on that one,” Shorty said of the bull’s #19 buck off.

STOP NOT MAKING SENSE

Hummer blabbering about Jack Daniels rattling Jordan Hupp’s cage: “The bull had not only a message for that ride, but then he sent a message.”

HIGHLIGHTS

Mike Lee couldn’t be any more psyched about his 88.50 ride on Curveball. That smile couldn’t get any bigger without splitting his face. Love that forward roll, jump and strut. Ty’s calling it “the signature flop move—that’s like when you almost learned how to do a front flip.” Unfortunately Mike’s reverted to his scary inmate look again. I guess The Lord told him to get a serious haircut.

Vengeance is mine, saith Luke, who scored 90 on Charlie Bullware. “He got ‘em rode!” saith Shorty, even before the end of the ride. A little messy, but I guess they were being nice to Luke, since Bullware had beaten him 3 times before.

OH NO, NOT AGAIN!

Rockie Smooth “has a hop and a skip…with a little bit of everything throwed in,” Ty explained. The bull was making noise in the chute (somebody said it sounded like his dinner didn’t agree with him), and so were the Brazilians– in English. Then Rockie lay down; de Oliveira rewrapped while the bull groaned. Gotta wonder about those guys helping at the chute: does it really get the bull’s attention to whistle at him? Valdiron was thrown off at 7.13 seconds, landed on the left side of his face (the side with the eye socket he broke at Uncasville), was slow to get up, staggered away, then went down. The bull’s rear hooves seemed to hit his left shoulder, and Sports Medicine surrounded him. The Bummer couldn’t think of anything better to say than, “It looks like what happened to JB when that bull stepped on his hand.” Uh, Craig, JB’s a married man now; take a hint and stop obsessing about him.

Luke won the event, as he did in 2008. Guess he’s recovered from the buckoff streak. “That was two old timers goin’ at it, that’s what that was,” Luke said. “Me and him have a little history together. He’s a little bull that never stops trying, from the first second to the eighth. Me and Charlie Bullware are old buddies. I love that guy!” Leah asked about him having gotten rid of his mustache. “All those mustaches goin’ around– I just couldn’t pull it off.” He should get extra points for that. He credits his win to fiancée Jen flying in—he always does well when she’s around.

But could we please have an update on Valdiron? He ended up on the ground.

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About Bull Riding Marketing

Creative services, marketing and public relations professional from entertainment industry background. Published in magazines and newspapers worldwide. I believe bull riders are the new rock stars.
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