Didja miss that moron fake cowboy shouting at the top of the broadcast? (Hard to believe they can make such a bad choice and stick with it.)
Didja miss stuff like this:
“the oil capital of the world, where the cowboys hope to strike it rich.”
Craig Hummer comparing Alves to a great white shark stalking.
“Valdiron de Oliveira watched a world championship slip through his hands.” (Uh, that actually didn’t happen, dude—and if there’s any justice in the world, he’ll have a grip on it in Las Vegas.)
And then later we had to listen to that crappy song again. I forgot how annoying it was.
And OMG, “Remember When”—surely the sappiest song ever written. It takes the cake over McCartney’s “My Love” or “Touch Me In The Morning,” or even “Feelings.” The line that cracks me up every time—literally; I laugh out loud every time I hear it: “We won’t be sad, we’ll be glad.” OMG, what Hallmark dropout wrote that??
Ya gotta suffer through that stuff to get to the fun:
Leah Garcia asked JB Mauney what lessons he learned by riding right-handed: “Either way, I still don’t dismount very good.”
And now to the actual riding:
It looks like Kody Lostroh is back to his old textbook form. He made an excellent ride on fast, agile Jack Daniel’s After Party, for 90.25. That pelvis is working just fine. Leah asked him, “This is the second time you’ve had this bull; what was different about this time?” That’s a no-brainer: “Well, it’s different when you get a score.”
Marco Eguche, on the other hand—well, that’s the problem: his hand. According to J.W. Hart, who oughta know a few things about boo-boos, an injured riding hand is possibly the worst injury, because all that bullpower yanking on it sends pain through every part of you. But I couldn’t have asked for a better Q and A than this:
Hummer: “What makes him such a good rider, do you think?”
JW: “He’s from Brazil.”
PS– Speak up, JDub, there’s so much arena noise we can barely hear you.
Justin Koon’s got a hand problem, too– it’s all wrapped up and medicinally numbed out, because of messed-up, painful tendons– in spite of which, he earned an 87 on big blond Seminole Wind. Leah asked how he managed to ride without any feeling in his hand: “A lot of rosin.” He’s probably headed for surgery after the season.
SELECTIVE RULE ENFORCEMENT—WHAT DID I TELL YOU? SEND YOUR COMMENTS!
Here we go again with the selective rule enforcement; this time, it’s about the amount of time a rider’s allowed to take in the chute. Specifically, Cody Nance wrapping on Hijack (son of I’m A Gangster). Yes, the bull was rambunctious, but even after he wasn’t, Cody took all the time he wanted, without anyone yelling at him. “Looked like he had that window of opportunity to nod,” Craig said. That’s putting it mildly. He had a freakin’ front porch! I think even Hijack was annoyed with being kept waiting. After he got Nance bucked off, the bull poked a big ol’ horn in his butt; great liftoff.
In contrast, Fabiano Vieira, on Mud Wasp (Mossy Oak Mudslinger offspring), had people yelling at him “Let’s go!” while the bull was rocking all over the chute—and he spent half the time Cody did in there. He got the same treatment from his bull, though, after he came off: another wild butt-toss that launched him, and when he landed, Mud Wasp crunched him with his head.
I probably should’ve timed how long it took Austin Meier to get out on Tid; with all the repositioning, he really should’ve ridden that bull.
Look, what’s the exact amount of time a rider’s allowed to spend re-wrapping? Leaving it to the discretion of the back judge and chute boss is a terrible idea. They are too prejudiced against Brazilians to be fair.
SHAME ON THE JUDGES!
This was really despicable treatment of Silvano Alves. In the bonus round, he was on Delco, when the clock stopped for a touch. He challenged, the replay was inconclusive: they kept showing the ride from angles where you couldn’t see whether or not he slapped the bull. No score. He left pissed off—highly unusual for him; he’s never a bad sport–so I’ll bet he didn’t touch the bull.
Faithful reader Estelle Hertz was seeing red about the inconclusive replay issue, and sent me the following:
“This is what the PBR announced in 2011:
The review process will see two changes in 2011. In response to meetings with riders, the PBR competition committee has ruled this year that if video replays for potential slaps are inconclusive, the ruling will be in favor of the rider, who will receive a qualified score.
Unlike past years, the replay judge will not use a stopwatch when timing replays. Instead he’ll use the clock from the television truck, which provides him the ability to see the ride frame-by-frame alongside the official time.
Viewers at home will see the same replay angles as the replay judge.”
Do we need any more evidence that the judges are punishing Brazilian riders? There it was: blatant, on national TV. Start making noise, people, otherwise the Finals may be a joke—let the PBR know what you see!
THE BEN JONES BANDWAGON
Ben’s gone all Treasure of the Sierra Madre on us, with a Wolfman beard. He’s also tapped into The Secret. No, not the book that Gustavo Pedrero (#4 in the CBR World Standings) is into— I’m talking about the south-of-the-border approach to riding. That is, Ben’s more focused and less hysterical, from hanging out with the Brasileiros. Two of them were flanking him. As Leah put it: “Brazilians have been his instrument of power.” No kiddin’—he came into this event 8 for 10.
Case in point: Ben’s re-ride on T Rex.He made it to 7.23, then landed in his traditional neck-rollover position that scares the crap out of me every time. And yet he was smiling after the buckoff! Hanging out with the Brazilians has done wonders for his attitude—he doesn’t beat himself up afterward.
THESE BULLISH THINGS
This year, some bulls have come up with highly original moves that I don’t think are entirely natural. I mean, I know some of these guys got rhythm, but I suspect that choreographers are now involved in their training. For instance, Wilson pulled a weird, wild flying sideways maneuver: he gets a 10 for originality, but stumbling and falling against the gate, definitely cost him a bronze medal—and earned Ben a re-ride.
Whiskey Cures Ugly took a wacko stumbling dive out of the chute, sliding on his chest, his head snaking along the ground. I cannot believe L.J. Jenkins didn’t get a re-ride for that mess!
And pay attention to Palm Springs:bucking Stormy Wing off makes the bull 0 for 12 on the BFTS.
Never heard of Lovin’ the Business (son of Voodoo Child). As I thought, they threw Chris Shivers a creampuff to welcome him back and make sure he’d score. “Not a lot of kick in that bull,” Craig observed, as did the rest of us. Fortunately the score wasn’t another over-the-top 90-something; 83.50 for a flat-spinner was more like it.
Silvano rode 91, who had long jumps, bucked, and waited until the last moment to spin. Score: 81.25. I think I‘ve made my point.
Chris Shivers touched Train Wreck twice, but the clock didn’t stop. He got bucked off, and how telling is this: Hummer saying Shivers was .6 away from getting his 94th 90-point ride. So now, every time Shivers makes 8, he’ll automatically get a 90? Whether or not he touches the bull?
THE TWO FACES OF J.W.
Jordan Hupp and TribalTuff.com’s rematch resulted in a buckoff. “What did that bull do that you liked?” Hummer asked J.Dub. “Not a whole lot, if I had to get on him,” was Hart’s response. Craig had to explain to him that since J.W.’s now a contractor, he’s asking him as a contractor, not a rider. Said JDub with his contractor hat on: “He pulled Jordan on top of his head, that’s what I like.”
His reward: “You have a split personality, anyway.” JDub’s fast on his feet, though: “That’s what my wife tells me.”
FASHION ALERT, SORT OF
What the hell was Jory Markiss wearing on his feet?? It looked like he was riding in socks! Could this be a direct result of his strategy? As JDub described it: “He usually tries ‘til his head hits the ground a couple of times.”
RANDOM OBSERVATION, SORT OF
Both Guilherme Marchi and Robson Palermo were matched with bulls that went away from their hands, and both got bucked off. Do “wheelhouses” figure into the decisions about which rider and bull to match up? Was Valdiron matched with a green bull so he wouldn’t get a score bigger than 80.25? Not so random: it put him on the bubble for the short round, so that any score higher than his would knock him out. And it did: Chase Outlaw’s 88.75 on Scout. Presto! only one Brazilian rider makes it into the top 10, just barely: Alves, at #10.
BELIEVE YOUR EARS
“Only five men ridden in Round #1”: Craig Hummer, who seems to have been dropped on his head more than once.
WHAT DIRTEATER DID ON HIS SUMMER VACATION
Ryan went to Australia and went scuba diving, snorkeling, and surfing– pretty funny for a kid from landlocked Oklahoma.
IT’S A FAMILY AFFAIR
Jesse Byrne’s little brother Tanner, who had a win on the Canadian bull riding series, made his Built Ford Tough debut with their father Ryan pulling his rope. Shorty sent Jesse off duty to watch instead of being on the cleanup crew; good move. Tanner didn’t stick on his bulls, but Jesse was tickled that he was there.
AWWW SHUCKS TO THE NTH DEGREE
The JB promo shtick is getting way too cutesy. Now during the close-up, he winks at the camera. I‘m worried; if the PBR ratchets up the cute factor, next thing you know, Mauney’ll be blowing kisses.
Sadly, JB’s much ballyhooed return as a lefty was over in a humiliating flash– Carney Man does a real high-kicking can-can– and he climbed outta that arena almost as fast.
NEW TEE SHIRTS:
“I landed on my ass.” —Harve Stewart
Advice from Mike White: “Never quit, and keep that head looking straight ahead.”