A coupla comments on Greensboro

Greensboro day 1                 Ty Murray on duty

THE BOOBOO BRIGADE

  • Well, now we know why Valdiron’s been slipping— he’s got a torn ligament in his right hand and a bad back.
  • Robson Palermo’s torn rotator cuff will need surgery. So of course he’s been getting on practice bulls to try to change his riding. Q: “What’s harder, the ride or the get-off?” A: “Oh, the get-off. I’ve been trying to land on my feet,“ he laughs.
  • Ben Jones is wearing a brace for his torn knee ligaments; apparently he listened to Justin McBride’s advice. Still, he got knocked half-unconscious as Straight Pipe came out of the chute, and he couldn’t get up. His re-ride: Condo Cocktail.

CRAPFEST

  • Craig “Crapfest” Hummer (hey, if he can make up stupid nicknames, so can I) re Alves: “The time for talking about strategy is over.” Actually, Craig, YOU’RE the one who’s constantly talking about Silvano’s strategy. He just rides the bulls.
  • “It’s time for him to make a Statement Ride.”—Craig’s  attempt to drum up drama about Valdiron. “Is it is his head or…” No, bozo, it’s his injury.
  • “You and I have come up with a lot of nicknames for him [Silvano Alves] this season. Here’s a new one for him: Tractor Beam, because when he locks onto it…” Hey, don’t drag Ty into this, Hummer: YOU are the only person in the PBR who tries to plaster nicknames all over the riders.

WHA??

Iron Broke surprised the hell out of Bonner Bolton and everybody else: he decided he wanted to start from the next chute, so that’s where he went. I think that’s a first. Then he backed out, almost hung his horn at the bottom of the gate, jumped up…well, you can guess the rest.

I’M JUST SAYIN’…

  • More “out of the mouths of babes”: An onscreen box showed the winners of the 8 most recent events, broken down by country, “and there is a pattern there, with Americans alternating with Brazilians,” Craig observes. No kidding! That’s what the judges accomplished: leveled the playing field by dinging Brazilian riders and bending rules in favor of Americans. Hummer asked Ty Murray who he thinks is gonna win tonight. Ty was diplomatic: “Don’t get me to lying…”
  • Amazing how LJ Jenkins can have more “wins” than Silvano Alves, despite having a lower riding percentage and riding a lot fewer bulls than Alves. Does that not tell you something about the scoring?? And if that doesn’t, how about this: another fucking 84.50 for Silvano’s ride on Johnson. The judges have decided that this is Silvano’s score no matter what.
  • Hot Chocolate was aggressively shoving himself over the front of the chute; the guys in front of him tried to slap him back down— which as we know is just so effective on a 2000-lb. beast— and Chase Outlaw pulled Marco Eguche off the bull to keep him from getting crushed. Now that’s a great example of international cooperation.

HIGHLIGHTS

  • Who knows how many times Ben stayed on Condo Cocktail when he should’ve come off? That guy is superhuman! He rode, but ended in a horrifying hangup, especially in his condition; he couldn’t stay on his feet. Craig: “He is wearing that ride all over his face.” Leah: “What makes you able to dig that deep?” Said Ben: “Heart. And hand. If you can keep your hand shut, you can do anything.”
  • Valdiron has no strength in his injured hand, making it hard to hold onto his rope. I am amazed that he stayed on Multimin 90. But the score stunk: 83.75 The post-ride interview told us nothing; he was too breathless to make sense.

AGAIN??

As soon as Strokin’ threw off LJ Jenkins, the bull stopped moving. PFF!  Isn’t LJ the guy who knows the most about the bulls? So how did he manage to get on so many bulls in a row that didn’t want to buck?

AAAWWWKWAAARD

The Round 1 win was a tie between Dakota Beck and JB Mauney. The two guys didn’t even look at each other. Dakota was so not enthusiastic about standing next to one of his heroes (or did Leah say idols?), even though he said the opposite.

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4 Responses to A coupla comments on Greensboro

  1. S. says:

    I couldn’t stop picturing Silvano Alves as the Enterprise and the bull as a Klingon Warbird, with a tractor beam between the two. Come on, Craig. Where the heck does he get this stuff?

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