THE COOL FACTOR
I think it’s so cool that so many World Champions are still contending: Mike Lee, Kody Lostroh, Guilherme Marchi, Renato Nunes, Silvano Alves. And it’s way cool that it’s Tough Enough to Wear Pink night. I have to say, Flint’s pink and black outfit was much snappier than his usual getup. Each rider came up with a unique way to wear pink: Luke Snyder’s unfortunate choice was to have a bow up front. But it’s cool that he turned 30 and put on a good show with DeWalt Guaranteed Tough (83.50), though Ty Murray’s right: the bull’s trip wasn’t his best.
LIVE EVENT CENTER
Very uncool. All the bad technology, loud arena sound, and none of the excitement. Advertisement screen savers while we can hear but not see what’s happening, the buzzer sounds before the rider’s even out of the chute…
- Hilarious: Jory Markiss looking all over the arena for the mouthpiece he threw instead of his hat, after scoring 83. Flint found a mouthpiece in the dirt earlier, and was ready to offer it to Markiss: “He’ll never know the difference.” Jory covered almost the entire arena searching. “He’s gonna find it,” Flint joked. “Those things cost 38 cents!”
- Unridden David’s Dream is unridden no more! Poor Valdiron sounded so weak as he picked the bull, it was obvious he’s really hurting– and when you’re riding bulls, you can’t have heavy-duty painkillers like they give me for back spasms. (They need to get an acupuncturist on the tour!) Valdiron put it to David’s Dream for 88.50. You couldn’t tell from the ride that anything was wrong with de Oliveira—until he got to the rail, and then yikes! Pain personified. There were at least 3 times during that ride that he should’ve been bucked off. Then he gets smashed against the steel fence. The poor guy can’t stand up; you can literally SEE the spasming. “David’s Dream kinda takes off because he’s thinking, What are you still doing here? you guys are usually gone by now.”—Ty.
- Shocking! In a good way: Marco Eguche, with four stitches in his forehead from Round 2 last night, was scored 87.50 for his ride on clone I’m Back and a cool dismount on his feet. Wow, the judges must be drunk—they scored a Brazilian rider fairly! And wow! They didn’t ding Marco by scoring Brendon Clark higher– Brendon got 87 for riding clone Mr. Slim.
I’M JUST SAYIN’…
- Cody Nance’s left spur was so hooked in the rope, it was the last part of him to get bucked off Mood Swing. But it’s not illegal— unless it was there from the get-go.
- It was indisputable on the video replay that Cody Johnson’s bull hipped himself coming out of the chute, and it definitely changed his direction, so Cody challenged. We all saw what happened, but the judges denied him a re-ride. The crowd booed, and so did I. Chase Outlaw was given a re-ride for a similar issue a couple of events ago. Clearly this is a popularity contest.
- Another nasty move by the judges: Emilio Resende’s bull wasn’t spinning, so they offered him 67.50 or a re-ride. When American riders are in the same situation, they’re given a choice of a score in the 80s or a re-ride.
- I wish they’d stop calling Douglas Duncan “Double D.” It must be mortifying! I’m sure he’s only about a 36C.
- “He’s got to convert here.” Explain what you mean, Hummer. Got to do what? Ride? Score, maybe? That word “convert” has absolutely no meaning whatsoever; some idiot sportscaster used it, trying to be all “The Man” with jargon, and now all the sheep are following suit.
- Loved Riggin’ Slinger heading right to the Shark Cage after he took care of Robson Palermo, who for the first time this weekend wore a brace on his free arm. Flint must’ve pissed off the bull, and was next in line.
CAN I QUOTE YOU ON THAT?
- Brandon Bates must’ve been delirious: “It’s still a long way from Championship Sunday…” Uh, dude, it’s in two weeks.
- Flint: “You can insult somebody into the dirt as long as you start it, “With all due respect…” Down South we say, “God bless her.”
LISSEN UP, FLINT: I’m sick of this “cougar” shit!
Changing the words in “I Love Rock & Roll” from “I knew he musta been about seventeen,” he made another dumb remark about a 43-year-old being a “cougar.” And when asked to hug someone’s grandmother: “I don’t just hug any cougar; it has to be a special one.” So now the word for any older woman is “cougar”? What does that make YOU, Rasmussen? How old are you again? Forty-what? Then what should we call all the so-called “men” over 40?
And what pig came up with this sexist concept that a woman is a “cougar” if she likes younger men? I’ve got news: it’s perfectly normal for women over 40 to be more compatible with younger men. Study biology, people. And what do people call a middle-aged man who’s with younger women? “Lucky.” Or rich. Listen: women don’t have to hunt down younger men. A lot of us get chased!
STOP DEGRADING WOMEN! WHO’S PICKING THE MUSIC??
- The song instructing women to “shake it” in the truck, shake it for the rednecks in the bar, etc.? The music sounds good, but if you listen to the lyrics, it’s abominable. Why should sports be connected with treating women like crap? Try this on for size: would you like your daughter to be talked to like that? Would you want her to be doing that? Or your sister? Your mother? Real men don’t degrade women.
- And why did they play the Big Butt song while the two women were doing the Bass Pro shoot-out? Why is the PBR bent on insulting women? Who’s choosing the music? Does the asshole have a CLUE how many sexist songs he’s using? Maybe you need some female input, jackass! There are a zillion songs you can use; don’t use songs that reduce women to body parts and instruct them to “shake it” for the boys. What cave did you crawl out of, you pig?
ENERGY DRINK O.D.?
We were told no information about Harve Stewart’s out, while the boys who are supposed to give us information were busy amusing one another in the arena. Finally one of them (and it sure wasn’t Flint) remembered they’re at work: “You guys better put the brakes on. Land the plane, fellows.”
Sign in the audience: “There’s still time to get the right clown in the White House. Vote for Flint.”
If you were at Madison Square Garden, you’ll love this followup to that Fan of the Night: A woman in this audience had a sign saying White Women Love Flint, Too.
Lachlan Richardson’s gone back to his front-end flapscramble buckoff style.
THE DEFINITION OF A BULL RIDER
- After Emilio Resende’s re-ride, he was down on one knee, then hopping on one leg in pain, but the first thing he did was check the board to see if he made 8. Yup: 81.75. He had to be bookended by the Sports Medicine team to leave the arena.
- Valdiron wasn’t in his best form, considering that his back was spasming last night, but he still managed to score 86 on Plummer Butt. All I know is, after I’ve had hours of back spasm, I’m even afraid to brush my teeth!
- On Stinger, another bull with regular timing in the spin, Mike Lee scored 86 and a Fearless Frank save to get him out of harm’s way. “I would hurry a little more on my exit,” Ty said of Lee’s slo-mo crawl in the dirt, “but he’s braver than I am.” “He is the Reserve World Champion Hands and Knees Crawler,” was Flint’s take.
- A woman in Row 16 was picked as Best Dressed Fan of the Night. Flint, huffing and puffing his way up and over the railings kvetched, “What would’ve been wrong with Row 4??”
Once again, Silvano Alves is paired with Express, making this his fourth successful ride on that bull. Wow, the judges budged him out of the 84 range, with 85.25.
APPARENTLY “THEY ALL LOOK ALIKE”
As Renato Nunes boarded Alternator, for what would be an 87.25 ride, Clint Adkins hollered out “Silvano Alves!” Nitwit.
I’M JUST ASKIN’…
- Guilherme Marchi waltzed Chin Music around, but was given 84.25. Is this another case of making it too easy, so you get a lower score? He was in total control. Unfortunate choice of pink handkerchief placement, though: around his back, triangle pointing down, it looked like he was wearing a thong. And what was that goofy little victory move? Ben needs to give him dancing lessons.
- Then Marchi took on Flint (the bull). “Flint is unridden,” Brandon Bates announced, then as an aside to Rasmussen: “Let that soak.” Flint: “I got nothing for that.” Guilherme rode an unridden bull, and was scored 89.75–why couldn’t they squeeze out a 90? We know why.
MEIER IN THE HOUSE
Austin needed 82 to win on How We Roll (who’s been ridden 40% of the time), so the judges went over the top with a 90.25. Eek—a gigantic “Pow!” as he was thrown hard flat on his back. “I had that rope real sticky tonight; needless to say it affected the get-off—and the air in my lungs.” After the ride, he ended up on his hands and knees on the dirt, head down, not able to get up for a long minute. He was surrounded by Sports Medicine, bullfighters, and even Clown Prince Flint.
Marty Snyder once again asked the idiotic question about “making a statement” and not being below the radar anymore. “I don’t care about the radar,” Austin said, “I’m just riding bulls.” Here’s the part to pay attention to: he said he was glad to be able to show people that he’s not just a one-directional rider.