MORE PHILADELPHIA: MASH-UP

TECHNOGRIPES

Broadcast started nearly ½ hour late because of college football.

Saturday Shorty said the dirt is horrible: compared it to beach sand; it’s deep and loose. That’s why the bulls’ hind legs have been slipping. “I was thinking about bringing a volleyball and a net. Now I have new respect for beach volleyball players.”

On Sunday, some of the bad dirt was gone, but it’s still deep and the bulls are treading a bit gingerly. Who’s responsible for the dirt? They could cause serious injury to the bulls.

ANOTHER CRAIG CRAPFEST

His desperate attempt to tie in Philadelphia being a center of freedom with the 35 cowboys having the freedom to choose their bulls. OY!

“The City of Brotherly Love, but there will be no love lost tonight.”

“This bull never rests.”—Craig, giving PETA yet another reason to hate bull riding.

“It seems like every week, we look for someone to step up.” As if none of the cowboys are riding their asses off.

Alves would like to stay “flatlined” all season long. Uh, I don’t think so, dear; I’m sure he’d prefer to be breathing. Did you maybe mean, he’d prefer to stay steady?

Alves has to worry about Mauney in the rear-view mirror. Helloo, wishful thinker: JB is #4. He’d still have to climb over de Oliveira and Jenkins. Obviously this is the script Hummer and Murray have been handed for the final events of the season.

“But the plot twists between are exponential.”—huh? Does he even know what exponential means? I think not.

“When is Silvano going to put his foot on the throat…” bla bla bla – as if Alves isn’t making any effort. Later he points out that Alves has had no wins this season. Gee, I wonder why? Have ya been paying attention to how the judges treat him??

COLOR COMMENTARY??

There’s so much colorless commentary going on between rides, they should just shut up when they have nothing to say but platitudes.

LOVE IT!

Visuals of Asteroid’s 8-foot lateral movement.

Don’t know who said it, but yeah: “The bull riding equivalent of Julius Irving. He’s their Doctor J, he’s our Doctor A.”

JB Mauney on Asteroid: “You just gotta ride him jump for jump and keep your hand shut.” “When you get on a bull like that and get a chance to get into the record books, that’s what gets my motor running.”

3 out of 25 riders said they’d pick Asteroid in the draft: JB, Mike Lee, and who was the third maniac? Inquiring minds want to know.

Championship Round: Asteroid’s first jump dumped Lee. That bull’s kick is so vertical that if he didn’t bring his hind hooves to the side, he’d go end-over-end. I’d really hate to see a 1400-lb. back flip.

LOVIN’ THESE NEWCOMERS

A lot of new bulls were here this weekend; some of the impressive ones in Round 1:

Black Spade – That’s a good bucker; he figured out what to do to unseat Renato. Disco Stick – Made a wild move out of the chute, then a sideways jump, digging down into his turns right away, and as Shorty pointed out, got his horn ready to try to hook Vieira, who was starting to unglue right away.

COOL STORY

The back story: Cool Spot (Round 2) almost died, he couldn’t breathe, even with a trachea tube in him, the veterinarians couldn’t help, so his owners were going to put him down. One of the guys’ daughters said, Let’s take him down to Texas A&M. The bull recovered and is back to bucking. IT TAKES A WOMAN!

FASHION ALERT

Ben Jones’s sparkly shirt! LJ Jenkins’ psychedelic hat!

HIGHLIGHTS

  • Renato Nunes said his performance coming into Greensboro was “embarrassing. “ Not this time— in Round 3, he did his usual wild thing on Alternator, who was seriously bucking, for 87.25. See, they can afford to score him properly, because in his present position, he’s not a threat for the world title.

I’M JUST SAYIN’… THIS IS HOW THE JUDGES TREAT THE BRAZILIANS:

  • 7 of the top 10 riders in world are Brazilians. So at the top of the show, they interview LJ Jenkins.
  • Remember how the “Killer B’s” all used to score high? Then magically, they all suddenly lost all their ability and rode really badly all the time and all their scores dropped dramatically. That’s what you’d think if you looked just at the numbers. When you watch the rides, you see what’s really going on.
  • Craig says Silvano Alves “has added incrementally” to his points total. Does he have a choice, since the judges have put a ceiling on his scores? In Round 3, he was scored 85.25, for making every correction, and making Express look easier. Need I say why?
  • More of that special Brazilian scoring: Round 3: Fabiano Vieira gets 84.25 for a picture-perfect ride on Star Baby. Maybe they have him mixed up with Silvano.
  • Round 1: Gotch U Some was wild in the chute. On the dirt, he bounced up and down, realized that wasn’t working, then spun into Guilherme Marchi’s hand, so that ride turned into a piece of cake for Marchi – meriting only 82.50, of course.
  • Round 1: Marco Eguche got 84.75 for his ride on Cow Face. That’s all the judges allow most of the Brazilians most of the time now: mid to low ‘80s. Occasionally, like they think they’re fooling us into thinking they’re not prejudiced, they’ll give someone a real score.
  • Alves’s Round 1 trip on Shaky Waters, during which he pulled himself up out of all kinds of positions, was scored 86.50, conveniently keeping him tied with Billy Robinson for second place, not ahead of him. Hummer remarked that this may have been the highest he placed all season. DUH, Craig—thanks to the judges’ bias.

AND THIS IS HOW THE JUDGES TREAT THE AMERICANS

  • No wonder Chase Outlaw’s been “more confident all season long,” as one of the Booth Boys said, when he regularly gets gifts from the judges. Chase is an excellent rider, and doesn’t need manufactured breaks. Example: Sharafna? Sharoffna? (bull’s name onscreen differed from spelling on website) was flailing around in the chute and made a fiery entrance. Not a good move by Chase, holding onto the chute so long, but once again, a re-ride is thrown at him (“Good fortune has smiled upon Chase Outlaw,” said Craig) because after a review, supposedly the bull fouled him. Ty Murray didn’t think the bull did more than brush against the chute. His Round 3 bull, Peanuts, was just spinning, not a tough bull with any unusual or creative moves; no matter how well Chase rode, 86.25 is a “favorite son” score. I know the PBR’s got him pegged as JB’s successor, but the favoritism is so blatant, if there was a bull riding commission, the PBR would’ve been fined repeatedly for their rule infractions.
  • I’m sick of this touting of JB’s “4 wins” being double Alves’s number, more round wins, more championship round wins, bla bla bla . Let’s not forget how the judges threw the Greensboro win to JB, and as I recall there may have been another one like that.
  • Round 2: Party All the Time wasn’t bringing it like he usually does; he was quick, but not bucking particularly hard or high. Yet the 88.25 score puts Austin ahead of Marchi, even though this bull was an easier ride than Firestorm. That way, Meier wins the round. Why am I not surprised?
  • Perfect example of pro-American bias: In Round 1, Shane Proctor scored 86.25 on Next Day Air— NOT! Watching the replay, “Shane Proctor gets away with one,” Ty said about the highly visible slap at 7.84. “And this wasn’t just a brush—he almost knocked the bull out.”

QUOTABLE

  • “He’s gonna go down trying, whether he hits the ground on his head; he never lands on his feet.”—Ty Murray talking about Mauney.
  • “If Renato starts to ride this bull [Quiet Riot], he is gonna bull up and change what he’s doing.”—Ty, coining a wonderful new expression on behalf of the livestock.
  • “I guarantee that right now Douglas Duncan can’t wait to get out of the arena; he wants to go punch himself in the face.”—Ty Murray, talking about Duncan sliding off the bull on his feet.

EEK!

  • Every time I see the commercial with Austin Meier being ejected from a bull’s back and slammed against the fence, I make the same noise: “Ow!
  • Reamed with a 68 on Star Baby in Round 1 (was he even offered a re-ride?), Valdiron wasn’t allowed in the short round last night because of his torn ligament, hand injury, and back spasms—he’s a mess. He can hardly stand up straight. Ty commented on the look on his face as he left the arena after his Round 3 86-point ride on Plummer Butt. I know that look: Lemme die now and get it over with. His next challenge: Phi Slama Jama. That bull was bizarre—had a lot of forward movement, but at one point he did that rubbing his ass on the ground thing that dogs do, and fell down. Valdiron completed the ride, but took some banging around and needed help walking out. He accepted the re-ride, so I’m wondering, did they offer him a score instead, and if they did, how low was it? The guy can hardly walk.

HIGHLIGHTS

Well, not for Jared Farley who, in the Championship Round, had no chance against Smackdown, who’s 9 for 50. I guess the bull didn’t get all his ya-yas out in that blink of an attempt, because he was still kicking furiously in the pen. Add to that the fact that he always tries to roll the guy who just got off his back, and I’d say he doesn’t like his job. All together now: “Take this job and shove it!”

MIXED BLESSINGS

Marchi said he felt old and slow lately, but “it’s amazing what a win can do for you. I don’t feel old and slow anymore!” Whoo! After riding Firestorm in the Round 2 Championship Round (87.50), he got freight-trained twice, his face plastered in the dirt. Pretty scary! Frank Newsom made an effort, but the other guys weren’t ready for the second ironing Marchi got. His interview comment: “He mean with me!”

SOMEBODY TALK SENSE INTO THIS BOY!

Last weekend Kody Lostroh’s pop in the face broke his eye socket–  and he still won’t wear a helmet. This weekend, Gets Trickey (sic) in Round 1 treated him to a wicked buckoff: slung him forward, then did a little trampling.

THE HARRASSMENT CONTINUES

Round 2 Championship Round: Speckled Ivory was charging forward in the chute, but the chute bully was telling Silvano to go.  Just out of curiosity, how high was that bull jumping?? He is totally airborne! I don’t think I’ve seen another bull that gets all four legs up in the air tucked under him. How could only 42.75 be the bull score?? Are the judges now discriminating against the bulls Alves is on?

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6 Responses to MORE PHILADELPHIA: MASH-UP

  1. S. says:

    The PBR has some weird fixation on bulls that get into a spin as “the best.” Outside of Dr. Proctor, I can’t think of any bulls that got/get big air that also got big scores.

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    • You just have to crack the code. You see, it all depends on who’s on the bull’s back. If it’s an American rider, it usually doesn’t matter whether or not the bull spins; re-rides are always an option. If it’s a Brazilian rider, just give him the lousy score and blame it on the bull for not spinning.

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      • S. says:

        Well, who knows if there’s some snobbishness/intentional or unconscious need to “level the playing field” since the big air brahma type bulls are apparently prevalent in Brazil, but overall I have always been struck that, with the exception of Dr. Proctor, the PBR has always been way too in love with bulls that go into a spin. I personally wouldn’t mind some variety, and guys should be able to ride bulls who don’t just go into a pretty spin.

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      • Frankly, I think bulls who just spin are boring. I’ll bet if you asked the riders they’d say those bulls are easier to ride; you just have to not get dizzy. I used to think the bull was required to spin, like competitive figure skaters or gymnasts have to perform certain moves or they lose points. The PBR seems to change its mind every five minutes about whether spinning is a requirement. The CBR doesn’t have an obsession with spinning.

        The PBR commentators are constantly saying that the bulls in Brazil are different, meaning inferior to the short round bulls in the PBR events, and that the riders are used to those kinds of bulls.

        What the judges and chute boss do to Brazilian riders is not just snobbishness, nor is it unconscious. It is blatant, targeted racism. (There are many races and mixed races in Brazil.) I looked back over a lot of results and comments in my previous posts, and it bears out what I’m saying. (They don’t treat the Canadian or Australian riders that way, do they?) They’re not doing what’s best for the sport. They clearly don’t want Brazilian riders dominating U.S. events, and they are resentful, immature, small-minded, nasty hypocrites. They know they can’t actually ban Brazilian riders, but they sure can harass and victimize them with selective applications of rules.And yet, we all know a Brazilian is going to win the Finals. THAT’S how good they are.

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      • S. says:

        Oh, I totally agree that the chute judge almost always starts in on the Brazilians, often before they’ve even begun to sit down, whereas riders from other countries can apparently screw around in there forever and it’s always excused as the bull leaning on a leg or something. It’s beyond the pale.

        However, the underscoring of big air bulls, while perhaps even more blatant with a Brazilian on board (I’d have to go back and look at it), is something the PBR just seems to do.

        It’s a good thing for the Brazilians that they just keep on keeping on and winning, despite everything. I wish they’d bring in some new judging blood. I would say it’s hard to believe that nothing has changed with how the PBR train/discipline/whatever the judges, but this is the PBR we’re talking about.

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      • My favorite bulls are always the ones who are aerial artists. Yeah, the judges suck. The PBR needs to bring in judges from other organizations, who might be more objective.

        Yet, despite the crapstorm centered on the Boys from Brazil, they won the three most important titles tonight. Cream rises. And these guys are the creme de la creme. (Sorry about the lack of accents– I don’t know how to do that on WordPress.)

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