Flint Rasmussen was billed as People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive. Must be those hi-def gams and pouty lips.
Bad enough the PBR is using my bull-riders-as-rock-stars idea, but then the new opening to the Friday night event on the Live Event Center was an unbelievably bad crapfest of some of the worst copywriting I’ve ever heard. The basic gist was that bull riders are no longer cowboys from the sticks, they’re millionaires. It’s the PBR’s latest clumsy attempt to attract a mainstream audience.
I can’t understand what goes through David Neal’s people’s minds (and I use the term loosely) when they’re coming up with this stuff. It’s absolutely insulting to portray rural life as a poor background to be ashamed of and left behind as soon as possible, and bull riding as a quaint cultural artifact from the Dark Ages.
It’s also utterly stupid to assume that those of us who aren’t from cowboy territory have no appreciation for their roots and are completely enamored of glitz, money, and fame. Yeah, real smart: disavow bull riding’s roots (pissing off its original audience), make it sound like being a cowboy is embarrassing unless you’re rich, and insult the intelligence of other fans by pretending all the over-the-top hoopla is part of the sport. Ugh.
To add insult to injury, it looks like, unfortunately, the Monster Energy bimbos are now part of the furniture. They’re on the dirt applauding as the riders enter the arena. Bellybuttons are practically the first thing you see. Yet another asinine assumption by that ignoramus Monster Energy exec that bull riding is all about beer and babes, and that’s what “real men” like.
News flash (for the millionth time): bull riding is about athletic artistry, real men don’t need beer and pinups to enjoy the sport, AND HALF THE BULL RIDING AUDIENCE IS WOMEN! Most of us do not want to see other women used as sex props for the pathetic fantasies of drunken yobs. Get your head out from where the sun don’t shine and join the human race! If you don’t know how to appeal to both genders instead of offending one at the expense of another, get a female consultant to straighten you out.
AND NOW BACK TO THE BULL RIDING
I love that they let Bones take a strut in the spotlight. What a gorgeous tough guy! And wow—they miked the challenge button.
Ryan McConnel is back, and a couple of new riders showed up who weren’t on the BFTS two minutes ago. Jason Malone, from Texas, was invited because he won a recent Touring Pro event in Georgia.
I didn’t hear anyone “bring the noise” for any Brazilian rider other than Marchi, and it could be that he got a big hand because you just don’t see that kind of hubba hubba in Oklahoma. (That in-joke’s for my sister). Homeboys Shane Proctor and JB Mauney got the most cheers.
Guilherme Marchi vs. Asteroid was an exciting idea in theory, but even as big a Marchi fan as I am, I knew he couldn’t ride him. Their styles just don’t match.
Robson Palermo was injured in a Touring Pro event— his shoulder, of course! Why is he even bothering with Touring Pro events?? It makes no sense to jeopardize your major league season by taking a busman’s holiday to ride in the minor league. This is where a good manager would come in and yank him out by the scruff of his neck. I know the riders have agents; can someone talk some common sense into him? Make him take the longterm view. I want to see him in the winner’s circle again this October.
• I love that I can see the exact moment when Mike Lee’s got a ride knocked out. He scored 82.25 on Sticker Shock, then did a semi-victory, semi-run-for-your-life lap around the arena.
• Austin Meier didn’t get a score on Air Jack, but his ride in slow motion was amazing to watch.
• Pretty impressive for a newbie: rookie bull Johnny Rocker got Marchi on the ground.
I’M JUST SAYIN’…
Here we go with the hometown boy scoring again: 88 for Shane Proctor on Stinger. Yeah, we’re all glad to see him on the BFTS again, but come on, people. Show your affection some other way.
Sigh: 83.75 for Silvano on Little Willie. Yup, here they go again: underscore him from the get-go so maybe he won’t win the world title 3 times in a row. BTW, who came up with that bull’s name? You bring him over to the U.K. and you’ll have a laff riot on your hands.
Under: Silvano Alves on Little Willie. Luke Snyder on Off the Hook (84). Emilio Resende on Iron Broke (83.75).
Over: JB Mauney on Come Back (86).
Poor Stormy Wing! He took a stomping right on the same booboo he had from last week. That ankle must hurt like hell.
SHOULD I LAUGH?
Ty Pozzobon did a fine job on Boogity Boogity Boogity, for 85.50, inspiring the highly mature-and-soon-to-be-45-years-old Flint Rasmussen to chant, “Boogity Boogity Boogity!” a couple of times. (Because, you know, it’s so darn funny.) Brandon (or Clint?) warned Flint that he can’t steal people’s stuff that’s copyrighted. Now, whaddaya think he meant by that?
Somebody didn’t cut the video feed quite fast enough to prevent LEC viewers from seeing a smidgen of the round scheduled to be broadcast on CBS TV on Sunday. We heard the introductions, but didn’t see the riders. One of the worst melodramatic voiceovers I’ve ever heard included “The Brazilian Bull Riding Brigade” as part of the top of the show blabber, setting up the Us versus Them paradigm, and creating more anti-Brazilian feeling among the ignoramuses. Or would that be ignorami?
The only rider we saw was Ben Jones, and man, I am really feeling for him. His season is not off to a good start. I turned off the computer after that; bull riding doesn’t cut it as a radio show.