On duty: Justin McBride, Ty Murray, and Leah Garcia
THE BOO-BOO REPORT
Fabiano Vieira is afraid of having surgery on his broken ankle, but he’ll still be out of action for a few months. LJ Jenkins will need to get back a good range of motion before Dr. Tandy allows him to ride. Valdiron de Oliveira’s agent said he’ll be back on bulls in early February. Renato Nunes’s left arm has been taped since 2010; he had a big hematoma causing him pain. (And riding back on the end of your arm all the time sure helps.) Did I hear this right? A bull that was under Austin Meier in the chute broke Ben Jones’s nose? In Round 1, hefty Cyber Cat stepped on Stormy Wing’s left ankle and sprained it; in this round, Hot & Juicy’s horn hit him in the facemask. “Probably a good time to have a helmet on,” was Ty’s succinct comment.
I’M JUST SAYIN’…
• While we waited to hear a score, Clint/Brandon mentioned “the numbers trickling in,” and more than once during the broadcast said, “the numbers are coming in.” Obviously the individual judges’ scores do NOT come in all at once, as they tried to convince us on the “Pure PBR” broadcast, showing us the electronic pad where supposedly all the scores arrive at the same time. That little song-and-dance was an effort to convince viewers that there’s no tricky math going on with the last score. Fortunately, many of us don’t suffer from amnesia, and can name plenty of instances when that last lagging score was the deciding factor as to whether an American triumphed or a Brazilian was tanked.
• Lately Guilherme Marchi has been off his game. In the replay of his trip on Lil’ Casino, you could see the point when he quit the ship: he looked at the ground to his right, and let go of the rope. Not a good trend!
ARE THERE ACTUALLY RE-RIDE RULES, OR ARE THEY JUST JOSHIN’ US?
Douglas Duncan was given 87.50 for riding a flying pogostick called Main Event. Spin? What spin? The bull changed direction twice in the 8 seconds. I’ve seen other riders get re-ride options for that kind of bull performance. The bull’s score was only 42.75, so this math adds up to, We Like Duncan No Matter What.
YOU CAN BE THE HERO OR THE GOAT, CHARLIE BROWN
Showboat slung JB Mauney overboard fairly easily, and JB sure looked embarrassed to be experiencing that in front of his hometown crowd.
Jordan Hupp is right in saying that he’s not a flashy rider; he’s more utilitarian. He’s been fairly consistent lately, and was looking sticky on Squint N Sylee, a fast spinner who came out backwards. (85) And what on earth does that bull’s name mean?
• CB’s Duckbutter did everything he could, including stumble, but didn’t make a dent; Alves matched his every move, even the accidental ones, and was scored a well-deserved 86. Marco Eguchi had ridden this bull last year and told Silvano it was a good bull. Wonder what their definition is?? PS– Silvano’s taking two hours of English classes a day, and possibly two hours of business classes? This guy is motivated.
• What a goofball trip by Prom Night! Emilio Resende’s bull hopped, skipped, jumped, and stumbled all around the arena, but Emilio stuck on there, and got a re-ride option or 52.50 points. He actually kept the crummy score! (The bull’s score was 23.) Resende kept his 52.50; it didn’t make sense to me or Ty Murray. At this stage of the season, you might as well take the risk; it’s not gonna cost you a title.
• Great rescue for Ryan McConnel: Jim’s Jacket threw off Ryan, then charged at him while he was on the ground. Shorty got screwed up in the mix, then Jesse Byrne launched himself in midair at the top of the bull’s head and saved the day. Man! The guy can leap tall buildings at a single bound.
• Break out the bubbly! Lachlan Richardson made a ride— for 87 points, on Black Betty— that tied him for second place in the round. He went back to Australia during the break; whatever he did down under sure helped him up on top.
• Jory Markiss and Gunpowder & Lead did a beautiful job together; that bull has serious whip! I woulda been a little more generous than 87. Gotta love how “Mr. Excitement” handles his success. This time he leaped up onto the Shark Cage. On his way down from there onto the dirt he asked the camera, “Did you see that?”
Wish we could’ve heard what Dakota Beck said to the camera after his ride on Little Man Tate was reviewed and showed a last-second slap. Poor guy! He got hurt last night, went home on crutches, and came back for Round 2 on crutches. Yup, that’s “cowboying up.”
THE CLONES STRIKE OUT THE COWBOYS
Mr. Slim made Ben Jones mad, and Ben reverted to his old angry banging against the chute. The next clone, I’m Back, downed Luke Snyder, and the final member of the trio, Another One, took care of Ryan Dirteater in the most depressing way: he hit the dirt at 7.77. Shutout! Ty’s comment on the clones: “When they go, they don’t waste any time; they will drill a hole in the dirt.”
Mike Lee stuck to Mud Wasp, who didn’t kick hard all the way through as he spun. After Lee earned his 86.75, the bull ran at Frank Newsom and launched the Fearless One, went back to trample him, and simultaneously butted Shorty out of the way.
The North Carolina crew convinced NASCAR driver Ricky Stenhouse to get on a bull, but he decided, “I’m going to stick to the day job.” Asked about the comparative danger factor in the two sports: “These guys are nuts. We have a cage around us.”
NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK
• Johnny Rocker, who trashed Marchi last night, did the same to Brendon Clark, then made a run at each bullfighter. “That makes our commenting job look a lot easier,” said Ty from the safety of the booth.
• Jason Malone, rookie, got an invite to this event after winning a Touring Pro event in Georgia. When his ride was about to be reviewed, he sent Flint to hit the challenge button. The judges did him a favor on the review; I saw him slap Cool Hand Luke, but he got an 85.25.
MUM’S THE WORD
Leah reported that Mike Lee decided not to speak to anyone before his ride, and was using gestures instead, maybe to keep focused. Around these parts we call that a Method Actor. Shamoun did a lot of running, jumping, and traveling, but no spinning. Mike was so thrilled with making the buzzer, he did a lot of running, too— all around the arena. (I know you’re supposed to say whistle, but it ain’t a whistle!) Obviously he didn’t see the re-ride flags.
Yep, the hustling and hassling of Silvano Alves at the chute officially has kicked in; last weekend it was before he went out on Rock Star (and scored 86); this time it was before he went out on Hot Toddy and didn’t score.
“Another mean one here, guys,” we heard Shorty say, shortly before Western Hauler went down on his right side, squashing Cody Nance’s right leg underneath, and then Nance nearly got hung up. The bullfighters came to the rescue; Cody got a re-ride.
Jory Markiss on Palm Springs was spectacular. So was his leap and roll onto the Shark Cage (Jory’s, not the bull’s). 89.75? Aww come on: this is the first time the bull has been ridden in five years (just like Bushwacker). The judges really coulda squeaked out another .25 so the kid could have some confetti. Leah asked him about riding both Gunpowder & Lead and Palm Springs, nobody’s choice: “What do you think has got into you this weekend?” The 5-Hour Energy response: “I was getting a little mad. I don’t like to get mad, I like to be smiling. I think maybe I need to get a little more passion in me.” More?? You can’t be serious.
WHAT A SURPRISE
I knew Shane Proctor would make 8 on Jack Daniel’s After Party and take back the lead from Markiss, because this is Shane’s home state. (You know: the storyline.) Score: 90.75. This is Shane’s first BFTS win since San Antonio, 2011.
It’s a good thing some of this event was repeated Sunday on CBSSports Network, or I would’ve missed the short round. Why? Get this: on the PBR website’s Live Event Center Chat Line, someone who’s been drinking the Kool Aid talked about some PBR people being open to criticism of the PBR, LEC, and other things. I commented that the PBR is not open to criticism, and without mentioning names (I was being too polite), said that I’d received a nasty phone call from one exec, and had had another one playing email head games with me. I said it’d be a miracle if my comment was posted. Bingo! I was suddenly kicked off the LEC, and wasn’t able to sign back in. I’d be curious to hear if anyone else has had a similar experience. Send in your stories!