At the top of the broadcast, we’re told this event gives double points, and a $21K Monster Bull Bonus. Sounds great— then comes one of the worst melodramatic voiceovers I’ve ever heard, which also pits the Brazilians against the Americans, by the way. (Although every time I say “the worst,” they exceed my expectations.) On screen is a count of the riders, broken down by nationality: 9 Americans, 4 Brazilians, 1 Canadian, 1 Australian. If an American doesn’t win, there’s going to be more bad feeling against the Brazilians.
EARTH TO MCBRIDE: CLEAN OUT YOUR EARS
Co-host Justin McBride keeps calling Silvano “Alvs” instead of “Alves.” Really, dude? After two World Championships? How do you not see the “e”? How are you not hearing everyone else say “Alves”?
I loved Ty Murray’s description of Asteroid as an athlete, but we all know the real reason the bull beat out Bushwacker for the world title: sentiment about Howard Talley. It’s his posthumous buckle.
JB Mauney talked about how he rode Asteroid: “He went left, and I stayed on…Luckily enough he went into my hand and I could keep up with him… I’ve been on him once before, and he dumped me on my head.”
THE NOT-SO-FUN ADVENTURES OF BEN JONES
Ben’s career riding percentage is now 36%. It’s getting to the point where the highlight of Ben’s outs is him yelling, “Buck ‘im!”
I didn’t think it was possible, but Bad Boy Mowers now has an even crappier commercial. (“Hotter than ever,” is how their copywriter put it.) The PBR and CBS should be embarrassed to air it; it’s about the caliber of one of those 2 a.m. “But wait! There’s more!” home-made infomercials. Guaranteed to help people keep viewing bull riding as the sport of tacky cheeseheads.
DAVID’S DREAM, AUSTIN’S NIGHTMARE
David’s Dream made a stunning, explosive entrance, instantly dumped Austin Meier, then went at him with his giant head, and bowled over Shorty while he was at it. “And mean to back it up,” Ty noted.
THE MARCHI MATCHUP— I MEAN, THE MARQUEE MATCHUP
Guilherme, who has a 62% career riding percentage, told Leah Garcia that if the Asteroid goes to the right, he has an 80% chance of riding him; if he goes to the left, not so much. So Asteroid first went to the right, then threw him off to the left. “He’s done gave up right there; he says, This is over.” Ty, trotting out a stunning Ka-razee Kowboy Verb Tense.
I’M JUST SAYIN’…
• As After Party was jolting Renato around in the chute, we hear the usual, “Let’s go, Renato!” What wasn’t usual: seeing Nunes flat on his stomach on a bull’s back. Did that last-minute hassling at the chute send him out unsettled?
• According to the booth boys, Edevaldo Ferreira doesn’t have a computer, so he can’t do face time with his wife and young child; he hasn’t seen them in a month. Can’t the PBR help him? If you’re gonna tug at the heart strings, you oughtta do something about it.
• “A terribly large handful,” was Shorty’s description of what Chase Outlaw faced: Shamoun, ridden once in 24 outs. That sure looked like The Walk of Shame as Chase, the #25 buckoff, made his way out of the arena. His arm is still braced all the way—what’s up with that? Ain’t it fixable?
• Jordan Hupp continues to do well. He clocked an 87.25 on Stanley Fatmax, to take second place in the round.
• “This bull gives a lot of guys fits,” Ty Murray said about Shepherd Hills Trapper, and man, is he right! That bull cut hard to the left, which everyone expected, but then he instantly cut hard to the right, which shocked Alves off his back. It’s not often you see that flabbergasted look on Silvano’s face.
• International cooperation: Renato Nunes chute-side, helping to steady the fussy RFD-HD, who made a wild sideways jump out of the chute, while wiggling in the air. “The most rider-friendly day I’ve ever seen that bull have,” McBride said, which gives you an idea of the horror Nathan Schaper faced. 89 points, and the kid wins!