Said the CBSSports basketball announcer as their program ran into PBR time: “If you’re waitin’ for the rodeo it’s comin’ up next…You’ll get the rodeo in its entirety.”
Has nobody bothered to send out a bulletin in all caps: “THIS IS NOT A RODEO!” If that slogan were still in place (instead of the PBR fishing around and coming up with the lame “This is bull riding: this is the PBR!”)— people might know the difference by now.
- Shorty’s opening speech as the bullfighters got ready in the locker room: “We’re gonna show you things that you don’t normally get to see.” However, they were putting on clothing. Wish I had a transcript for the whole bit, especially when he mentioned equipment. However, he was talking about Jesse Byrne’s vest, Frank Newsom’s knee braces (“to keep my wheels under me,” the Fearless One explained), and his own knife for cutting loose hung-up cowboys (carried in a very dodgy place, I might add).
- Cody Lambert: “Bulls are either right-handed or left-handed.”
- When the Clash of the Cowboys teams were squaring off for the calf roping and branding, did the hostess (I can’t figure out what to call her) seriously say, “I need you boys to mark your territory”? I couldn’t watch. The thought of eight cowboys in a pissing contest was too much for me.
- Mike Lee’s new trick of rounding all the bases after his ride (or lack of).
- Special guest Cord McCoy: “It’s been real good. I haven’t been bucked off yet tonight.”
I’M JUST SAYIN’…
“Pure PBR” is a good idea, but how annoying to have Justin McBride talking to Chad Berger while Berger’s busy helping Groovy get set in the chute. I’m thinking a lot of riders and stock contractors might not appreciate the up-close-and-personal approach at that exact moment.
It’s interesting how the PBR is now starting to deal with all the complaints I and many other viewers have voiced for years, and trying to explain some grey areas. Example: Justin McBride talked about misconceptions about the rules on “catching knots.” Powers-that-be must’ve started listening to all the griping about Cody Nance’s left spur being hooked in the rope on his way out of the chute. A lot. (He’s not the only one who does it; he just does it so often that once in a while he gets caught.) Sitting on a bucking machine, Luke Snyder demonstrate the technique, Great close-ups on his spurs— they need a spur camera at the chute.
The script even admitted that Cody’s had knot-catching incidents, and said he’s “one that the judges really look out for.” Right in front of our eyes, after Cody’s rematch with No Guts, Shorty said, “He got away with them right there.” But hallelujah, the judges DQ’d him for having his spurs hooked leaving the chute. He tried to talk his way out of it, claiming that his spurs were in front of the rope, not in the rope when he left the chute, and his chaps were covering them. How convenient. Watching the replay, Cody repeated twice, “It’s clear as day that they’re not in there.” If he really were innocent, he’d have been a lot madder than that!
- Fans tweeted: “Where do the bulls stay at night?” JDub’s answer: “At my house.”
- McBride and JW at the chute were having way too much fun; some of what JDub said was muffled, but I think he said he was more nervous waiting for his bulls to go out than when he was riding, and I’m not sure, but did he say something about having to pee?
- Shorty demonstrating how a hang-up happens, what you should do when it happens, and how the bullfighters get you out of it.
- Jory Markiss’s profile says that his warm-up music is dub-step. I’d love to see him dancing to that! He calls himself an adrenaline junkie. I think we’ve all figured that out. It’s very Hummerish of me to say he was in Hot Water, but how could anyone resist? He fought hard for a score on that bull, which made the ride exciting, but stayed on only for 6.71 seconds, after which he made a throat-cutting gesture which I’m not sure was for the bull or himself. Markiss seems like the kind of guy who might suddenly implode. Gotta like that he still doffs his hat to the crowd on his way out, no matter what happened. He hasn’t thrown a mouthpiece in a while. But I think I heard a great big scream from the corridor after he left the chute area.
OIL CAN! OIL CAN!
Even with ropes across his shoulders, Chin Music was banging around in the chute. When Ben Jones finally got out to ride, he clamped up because now he’s fighting his head, and the result looked like the Tin Man trying to make 8. I am so bummed about him being in that place again. Looks like Ben needs another Brazilian boost.
COME TO THINK OF IT…
Sean Willingham is way too trained with that taking a hit of Rock Star Energy Drink every time the camera’s on him. He’s lucky he’s pretty. Come to think of it, Sean Willingham is the Guilherme Marchi of the American riders.
- Brent Atwood on fire! 88.25 on Blonde Bomber
- All that exercise on the Touring Pro circuit was worth it— Sean Willingham turned in an 86 on Party All the Time.
- JB Mauney dismounted on his feet both times this weekend; Shorty was very pleased. He actually asked him if he was practicing landing on his feet.
- Strokin’ covered a huge amount of ground in a fast sideways leap, then in a flash leaped in the other direction. I don’t know who else could’ve stayed on him at that point but Guilherme Marchi. He is THE MAN. 85 was not an adequate score!
TWOFER: FASHION ALERT AND HIGHLIGHT
Shane Proctor “making a (fashion) statement” with his raspberry shirt. Shane and How We Roll were a good pair; they made it look like bull riding was almost easy. 87.50
- Wicked Game had a set of horns on him like a pair of 747 wings.
- Notorious had a couple of tricky moves: a quick right-left-right switch in midair.
- Bugsy did a wild sideways jump as he flung his entire neck and head in a circle. Flashy move, but it made him fall down on his side. That’s what happens when you show off.
THE BULL-VAULT BACKWARDS SINGLE-GAINER 100-YARD KNEE DASH
Stormy Wing invented a new Olympic event: somersaulted backwards off Big Blue, landed on his knees, and crawled away at lightning speed—that’s how you stay off a bad ankle.
STILL GOT IT
- Shane Proctor, talking about Billy Robinson: “The guy works out like an animal. He doesn’t look 31— he looks 35.” Except for his x-rays, probably.
- Sean Willingham, 31, stylin’ in that smooth black leather jacket. He said he’s been working out 4 days a week, lost weight, got in shape, and came back to prove he wasn’t too old for bull riding. Yep, he can check that off his “To Do” list.
Special visitor Michael ”The G Man” Gaffney, age 43, was born on the 4th of July.
SEE, HERE’S THE THING…
Marco Eguchi (who, besides his broken jaw, half-paralyzed face, and eye that has to be taped shut so he can sleep, has a partial loss of hearing going on) rode Wild Card, making it look easy enough for Shorty to say, “Looked like a practice bull for Marco.” So the score was 79.75. Sure, the bull weakened a little near the end, but that was a cheap score, compared to (trumpet fanfare):
JB Mauney, whose bull, Shady Sam, did only one little thing better than Marco’s. The score was 85. He’s got the smooth arm movement going again; was the big difference for style points??
THE ROBSON REPORT
Interesting that McBride said Robson Palermo resembles Jim Sharp, keeping his chin tucked, making him “a technically perfect rider.” Palermo’s not doing any more TP events, McBride told us. YAY! My wish was granted!