This weekend marks Jeff Robinson’s 100th consecutive event—and his birthday; he claimed it’s also Chicken on a Chain’s birthday. JW Hart’s comment: “I don’t think he knows Chicken on a Chain’s birthday.” LOL: A batch of Robinson fans, male and female, holding “Happy Birthday Jeff Robinson” signs— all wearing mustaches.
HYPERHYPERBOLES R US
• “Shane Proctor has put together a full season of rides, wins, and buckles…” Guess Hummer didn’t notice that sometimes Shane gets bucked off, like other guys do.
• “Kody Lostroh may want to change his name to “The California Kid.” – Hummer’s awkward way of saying that Kody has won events in California.
• Craig started with that “He converts” stuff last week or so, and it looks like we’re in for a full season of it. Arrghh!
• The Bummer’s celestial vocabulary kick: “Asteroid leads a bovine meteor shower… the cowboys won’t be able to take cover; they’ll have to face him…” “All signs from the heavens point to him sending another cowboy crashing down to earth.”
• Sancho appears to be part camel.
• Loved Money Blue’s Michael Jordan mid-air freeze-frame—and that wasn’t even the slow motion replay! 87.50 for Douglas Duncan’s magic carpet ride.
• Wow! Shameless was whipping around at lightning speed.
• Great Andy Watson photo on the PBR website of Chase Outlaw on Sic ‘Em Sam.
• 85.50 for Ben Jones’s wildly cockeyed ride on Little Man Tate—the definition of “try”—over and over again. He drove to Fresno from Texas so he could “get his head on straight,” and it worked.
• Marco Eguchi, who won the last two events, is now 7 for 9, and according to him, “My hand good, my head good,” although Valdiron thinks he’s too skinny. At one point he was in mid-air on Tuxedo. The replay had me holding my breath, but Eguchi still had the tail of the rope in his hand while the rest of him was off the bull. Shorty said the fans aren’t going to like the score, and he sure was right: 76.25—whaa?? That was JB’s score on Code Blue, when he spent half the ride flying around the bull upside down. UNFAIR.
• Just when he was recovering from a broken nose, Agnaldo Cardozo was knocked out by his face colliding with Santiago’s head. He was carried out to hospital; the report was a concussion and multiple facial lacerations. His nurses: Guilherme Marchi and Renato Nunes. Great idea, since Renato has the flu. Pass Cardozo some germs; he’s not having a bad enough day.
• Valdiron’s lost his confidence. He was sitting behind the chutes, dejected, his head down, his back to the arena. JW Hart thinks he’s hesitating on his bulls, he’s afraid of failure. I felt almost as sorry for Leah Garcia having to ask him a question as I did for him trying to answer about whether he’ll be able to stay on the tour.
• In the Championship Round, Detailer flung Emilio Resende unconscious; Emilio landed on the back of his neck, face down. The bull stomped on him, kicking against his face, then chased Shorty, airlifted him, and Shorty crashed against the fence. (“The takeoff and the flight’s good; it’s the landing that’s tough.”) Resende came to and walked out, with help on both sides from the medical team, but he left with a concussion.
If you tied Shorty’s hands behind his back, he wouldn’t be able to talk.
It’s been 10 years since a Canadian won a BFTS event.
Pretty close-up on Aaron Roy—check those eyelashes!
LOVE LOVE LOVE the “Uncle Drew” basketball players Pepsi commercial–the antidote to the plastic Mow Ho.
Denis Leary’s voiceover for winning a truck and going to Las Vegas, ending in: “…so cowboy up, pal!”
THAT 5-HOUR ENERGY KID
This takes chutzpah: I wasn’t the only one who saw Jory Markiss slap No Spots, and the clock stopped at 6.18. Jory’s take on it: “I didn’t slap him; he hit me in the face!” Asked if he should challenge, he hit the button with conviction. I thought his right arm touched the bull before the face-clunk, but oh well— 83.50 it is.
CAPTAIN HOOK REDUX
Anyone could see that Cody Nance came out of the gate on Lord Baltimore with his left spur hooked in the rope, yet he was scored 83.50. It’s pissing me off that the judges made one fuss over this issue, to satisfy the fans, and now they ignore it.
SHUT UP CRAIG, I want to hear the chute guys hassling Silvano! They tried to rattle him, but his old self showed up. (He’s been practicing at Robson Palermo’s place.) I’m in shock— he got a real score on Keepin’ It Real: 86.50.
I’M JUST SAYIN’…
• That Stupid “Wired” feature does almost nothing for us. We’ve all heard Austin Meier’s grunt repertoire; nothing new there.
• I wanna see the draft!!
• Cowboy surfing? What, they don’t collect enough bumps and bruises? They want to add belly road rash?
• Sitting on Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Honey in the chute, Marco Eguchi was grimacing, saying, “My leg! My leg!” while someone was using the shoehorn on the bull— and the chute guy was yelling, “Let’s go, Marco! Let’s go, let’s go!” If that were an American rider, not only would he not have been harassed, but he also probably would’ve been given a re-ride, too.)
I LOVE WHEN THIS HAPPENS
Right after I typed. “It looked like Night Rider Six just didn’t know what the heck to do when Emilio Resende was still on his back at 6 seconds,” JW said, “This bull didn’t know what to do.” (The score was 83.75; no thanks to the bull.)
WELL, IT’S PROGRESS
Oh look, the Clash of the Cowboys “hostess” (I don’t know what the heck else to call her) buttoned up! Somebody must’ve realized how trashy it was to have her flashing four inches of cleavage. So now, instead of us looking down the Grand Canyon in the first shot, she gave us the lead-with-the-boobs, side-to-side presentation that’s the stock in trade of “actresses” who can’t act. This move is what they think is sexy.
Chase Outlaw is going to train with some cage fighters? Whaa?
Zack Brown was Rango’s 9th straight buckoff. JW Hart was still grinding on how Brown should’ve taken an earlier re-ride offer. “He did exactly what he wanted to do. He came in here to win fifth, he didn’t come here to win first.”
Even at the 11th hour, Silvano was hearing, “Get out of there man, let’s go!” in the chute. But as kids would say, “Fake out!” Fresno was Alves’s first win of the season— without even riding his draft pick, JD’s After Party. He couldn’t answer the post-win question about “What’s the big picture this season,” so he just kept smiling while he thanked everyone.