Shane Proctor lost his world lead in Round 1 and dislocated his left shoulder in a bad hang-up on Nitro Circus, so Silvano Alves is back to the #1 slot. What a surprise.
The Hummer declared that the event was “standing room only.” And then from my living room window I saw some big ol’ airborne porkers, and they weren’t the inflatables from the old Pink Floyd show, either.
Flashback: in 2010, Alves rode all his bulls and won Nampa—his first BFTS event. He’s reached the $1 million, $2 million, and $3 million earnings mark faster than any bull rider in history. As of now he’s earned nearly $3.5 million. But oh no, his strategy is all wrong, he’s picking bulls that are easy to ride (even in the rounds where he has no pick), he’s “soaking” the bulls, he got away with a slap, bla la bla. Money talks, bozos; bullshit walks.
• Major Impact sure lived up to his name; 43.75 doesn’t do him justice.
• Hard Knocks, a Mossy Oak Mudslinger son, is a firecracker of a bull.
• Kiss Psycho Circus had some repertoire: digging around corners and undulating—not your ordinary bucker.
• Carrillo Cartel will retire at the end of this season, his sixth; somebody said he’s had 55 outs, but just try to verify that on the PBR website! It’s got every other kind of stat, but not how many outs. Probullstats says 56 BFTS outs.
• This was Hotel California’s son Hang Time’s 1st BFTS out; he scored 46.25,thanks to a cool lowdown move out of the gate that made Eduardo Aparecido desperate in no time.
• Brendon Clark, Jordan Hupp, and Austin Meier like the new point system; Austin’s at the bottom of the pack, and says riding in Touring Pro events will help him move back up to the BFTS tour. Then he’ll really have something to put in his journal!
• Asteroid and Bushwacker will participate in a Touring Pro event the first weekend of October, at the Pala Reservation in San Diego County, California. Smart management move to confer some cachet on the Touring Pro Division and create crossover interest. (Heh heh—let’s see you top that, Craig!) PS—Wonder how many members of the Pala Band (or any other Native American nation) will be invited to ride? I’d probably win money if I said ninguno.
• How long did we think it would take Craig Hummer to come up with the obvious “JR Vieira,” because it’s too hard to say João Ricardo Vieira?
• Does any other announcer in any other sport constantly mention an athlete’s nationality? Why can’t The Bummer consider riders as individuals instead of fostering the “us vs. them” mentality that causes friction? In he doing it on purpose because he thinks that builds up drama for the Finals? Are those his instructions from the PBR? I wonder if the Canadians do that when American riders show up.
The rear view of Craig’s hairdo is kinda disconcerting. The short bleached straws are sticking out horizontally above the darker bottom half. Looks like he went to SuperCuts.
SCORING BIG ON THE IDIOT SCALE
• “Aside from a handful of Brazilians, Kody Lostroh is one of the riders getting hot,” Hummer declared. “Aside from a handful of Brazilians”?? What an ass-backwards way of saying that Lostroh is one of the few non-Brazilian riders on the case!
• “The journeyman who has made the world his home…” was his nonsensical intro about Zack Brown. Like Zack had another planet to choose from?
Cute moment: Silvano mugging for the camera. He’s so happy now, it’s adorable.
Now JW Hart is harping on re-rides and riders settling for low scores.
• Ben Jones is out of competition, badly injured, with a lacerated spleen and collapsed lung. He was rushed to surgical ICU.
• Zack Brown landed on his head, out cold; he was taken out on a stretcher. A later xray showed no fracture—whew!
Bellagio was banging around in the chute, then on the dirt fell on Brendon Clark and rolled on him; in the process of standing up, the bull accidentally stomped on him. God knows how Clark walked out of there.
• Guilherme Marchi had a lockdown on three-year-old Cheap Trick 2 from the start, though the score wasn’t great: 84.24. I couldn’t understand much of Marchi’s breathless interview, but one of the Booth Boys had a great comment about Cheap Trick 2: “Sort of like the Jory Markiss of bulls: wind him up and point him in the right direction and he’ll just charge.”
I’M JUST SAYIN’…
• Blue Gangster—interesting bull, lots of bounce—helped Marco Eguchi to an 81.75. But in Round 1, Eguchi kept a 47.50 for his ride on Red Man, because of confusion about whether he’d get a re-ride. Renato Nunes had to hit the challenge button to make the judges take another look at the ride, because they weren’t going to give Marco a score.
This exploitation of the language barrier is becoming vicious. Why is there always confusion about whether or not a Brazilian rider will get a re-ride? Because the judges haven’t learned any Portuguese and some Brazilian riders don’t understand enough English to speak up for themselves. This is where fans have two choices: you either believe the judges are deliberately taking advantage of this disadvantage, or the PBR is deliberately not using a translator in situations like this. There’s no other explanation— it’s not like they can’t afford one. Well, there is one other possibility: morons are in charge.
• VERY obnoxious that they play JB’s theme song SO FUCKING LOUD! The name of the song is “Bad to the Bone,” not “Bad to the Eardrum.” Didn’t they see Shorty’s tweet about losing his hearing??
• The Bummer is so annoying me with his self-conscious “trying to be Southern” pronunciation of “Loo-a-ville,” instead of the “Looeyville” that non-Southerners really use.
• Sure, Cody Nance’s ride on Buck Off, son of Buckey, looked impressive, so it was scored 88.50, but where were those spurs?
Mike Lee apparently was so looking forward to his victory lap that he leaped off Charlie Bullware before he earned it. What was he thinking?? It looked like he deliberately jumped ship (or rather, bull).
LAS VEGAS LUKE
Nice work on Night Rider Six, Snyder! 84.75 doesn’t sound great, but that’s on the bovine: “That’s an old bull; he’s about as old as I am,” Luke said. “That’s a good warm-up bull for the bull to come.” He’s looking forward to the Last Cowboy Standing; he said out of the $1.5M he’s won in his career, about $700K of it was in Las Vegas.
HE’S GOT A POINT
Renato Nunes is now 1 for 14— unthinkable. Shorty Gorham’s astute evaluation: if Renato started out at the front end of the bull and didn’t go to the back of the bull until later in the ride, he’d stay on; being on the back of his arm from the beginning is too much pressure on it. And we all know what happens then: you go 1 for 14.
OUTLAW RENDERED SPEECHLESS
Chase Outlaw’s trip on Dark Shadow was an aggressive ride, with him chopping away. The judges reviewed the ride to see if his spurs were in the knots. TV viewers could see that his right foot was clear, but couldn’t see his left foot. The judges decided not to score him. Too bad; it would’ve been a high score. The audience was pretty PO’d. Leah Garcia had the unlucky job of asking Chase what he thought of that call. He flapped his arms a few times, struggling to suffocate expletives that obviously wanted to fly out of his mouth; he started to walked away, then after a few speechless seconds, came up with, “Uhh—can’t say much.” I’m pretty sure the air turned blue all the way to the locker room. Maybe this turn of events was cosmic payback for his grossness in this month’s Men’s Journal article.
THE BOO-BOO BRIGADE
LJ Jenkins, with his taped-up right arm/dislocated shoulder was obviously hurting, but still rode Jordan’s Jacket, a son of Little Yellow Jacket, for 84.5, apparently it doesn’t matter if the bull was traveling. LJ didn’t make it to the championship round; he may have surgery instead of competing in the Last Cowboy Standing.
HOW OFTEN DO YOU SEE THIS?
Nathan Schaper, who was out 6 months last year after surgery to repair his torn left bicep, should get extra points beyond 84.25, for style: Dawson’s rope wrapped around Nathan’s neck for most of the 8 seconds. For a moment, I thought he was going to be the only bull rider in history to be strangled on a ride. Yipes!
• JB Mauney, who’s currently #5 in the world, went go-karting with his wife and friends this afternoon. Just thought of something: did he really need to discover yet another way to break something?
• João Ricardo Vieira wearing a “Pray for Boston” badge on his vest.
HE TAKES IT BACK
• JDub’s comment on Good Timer, the bull that got JB a re-ride offer (or a 64.50): “I think I could probably ride that one; he looked pretty easy—” insert bad trip here— “’til they open the gate.”
• Then when Silvano rode Buckey for 87.50, JW started harping on the re-ride thing again, saying Alves should get rid of the low scores and take re-rides that could get him an 85 “and break records besides winning World Titles,”—at which point Hart regained his sanity and started to get embarrassed—“and I just realized how that sounds.”
Valdiron de Oliveira came to this event as an alternate. He declined a re-ride last night and kept a 76. In Round 2 he was thrown from Stanley PowerLock and knocked out, landing on the back of his head and neck. The bullfighters kept working the bull away; Valdiron had to be dragged out behind the exit chute. Good teamwork by all. I don’t know how he was able to get up and walk, even with help, to Sports Medicine. His concussion makes it questionable whether he’ll ride in the Last Cowboy Standing.
Fabiano Vieira, who missed the first 5 events of the year, took a couple of walks in the park: Grinder, for 87.50, and Shaky Waters, for 86.50. Then he got on Nitro Carrillo Cartel, and took a terrible blow to his shoulders and back. The judges decided to review the ride to see when he reached for the rope, trying to find fault. (Meanwhile, they ignored Cody Nance’s spurs all day.) The clock sure looked like he made it to 8. Anyway, if it’s inconclusive, it goes to the rider, right? Even if he’s Brazilian? (That part I’m not sure about.) Even JW was saying, “Come on, judges, show another view.” The crowd reacted in Fabiano’s favor at every replay—and there were plenty of them. (Does anyone think the judges were making a last-ditch attempt to hand the win to Nance?) Finally they scored him: 88.50. They really made him sweat for it. Vieira had taken such a hit, he practically collapsed into the doctor’s arms. But after the judges’ pronouncement, he was whooping. “Tougher than a $2 steak,” was how JDub described him.