• Outdoor event, weather hovering upwards of 95 degrees. YUCK!! Craig Hummer claims it was 115 in the arena a little while ago. Now it’s 92. Still yuck!
• If they’re going to make the riders do fake chat at the top of the show, they really need to give them acting lessons. We can barely understand some of them as it is; add the stiff dialogue, and it’s amateur hour.
• These young ABBI bulls are impressing me—although Walter Pepper was a bit disturbing, banging his head against the front of the chute. I mean, it’s not like this was a Sex Pistols concert.
• Air Time put everyone on notice with his bellowing before he blew up right out of the gate, then added some mid-air squiggles and serious kick.
• Stir Crazy went bonkers in the chute, reared up as the gate opened, and put one leg through the slats— he was so bad, he broke off a piece of the gate and injured Eduardo Aparecido, who was offered a re-ride. His reride, Tap Out, fell down on his side and scrambled on the dirt, flattening Eduardo under him. Next reride: Little Stick, who also was difficult in the chute, butting against the front of it. And then there was a quick buckoff. The third time was not the charm. Sometimes it’s no fun being #6 in the world.
Before last weekend, Renato Nunes had 12 straight buckoffs. Tonight he took Big Rock Star for an exciting 87.50 ride. Hummer asked him how it felt to ride last weekend and tonight. Renato’s answer: “No words to say.” That translates in any language.
I’M JUST SAYIN’
• Ewww!! Could there be a grosser ad than the one with the three almost-naked fatsos in the “Rent-A-Center” commercial? Sheesh; I knew obesity was a problem in this country, but this was a really sad reminder. How could these actors have the nerve to be on TV? If I looked like that, you couldn’t pay me enough let a camera shoot my rear view. I don’t know which ad agency came up with the idea, but again, Ewww!
• This is more serious: It was crystal clear that the judges were doing the math to figure out how to make Brant Atwood’s ride on Trampas (who?) beat Renato’s score. They took so long that while we waited, Caleb Sanderson had a turn, and then a couple of ads ran. What a surprise: they dinged Renato by that famous .25 to move Atwood ahead of him. What shitheads!
• Emergency lurched forward in the chute, throwing João Ricardo Vieira hard against the front of it. Not a foul?? Well, no, because he’s #2 in the world, the only 3-time winner this year—and he’s Brazilian.
THAT’S WHAT HE SAID (SHE THOUGHT)
• Justin McBride was demonstrating riding technique on the bucking machine, explaining what a rider’s supposed to do when the bull jumps. For a moment I thought I heard him say, “When the bull is up in the junk…” Naahh—it was “up in the front.”
• And did I hear JW Hart explain that the two-leggeds help the four-leggeds deal with the heat by giving them Gatorade if they get dehydrated, or put beer in their water if the bulls aren’t sweating? As if they’re not gassy enough! (tee hee)
IN THE DUMPER
• Too much summer rodeoing, not enough working out? Austin Meier is now 3 for20. He’s been depressed for a while, and now so am I.
• Emilio Resende’s another slumper; in 5 of 6 events he’s had no qualified rides, and now has a 16-buckoff streak. Why?
• Edevaldo Ferreira’s not riding so hot, either, and he’s the two-time PBR Brazil champ: Red Rocket was his 9th buckoff in 10 rides.
• Lachlan Richardson now has a 15% riding percentage: he’s 3 for 31. He’s varying his buckoff style, though. This time, instead of going over the front end (his go-to signature move), he went out the back door.
• Mike Lee’s 1 for 14, but he kept trying, with a couple of adjustments he took Apocalypto for an 87-point ride. He really loved that victory lap.
• Shane Proctor was #1 for 9 weeks, and now he’s 2 for14? I hope I got that wrong. He was wired, but all we heard was “Oof!” as he hit the dirt.
• Silvano Alves now has only a 54% riding percentage. Craig asked someone what the judges look for when putting someone on the clock. “Some guys get put on the clock a lot, and Silvano is one of them,” was his dazzling revelation. You mean one guy gets put on the clock all the time. Alves got bashed against the chute twice—I’m surprised he wasn’t decapitated by his face cage—and he had to re-set. Why weren’t the guys at the chute holding onto him better? And after all that, he got bucked off sideways by Stone Sober’s huge belly roll.
THE BIG NEWS
I’m sure you’ve seen the debate all over Facebook, and just by mentioning it on this blog, I know I’m going to hear more. Can’t help it; this call was just too mean. Valdiron de Oliveira’s Round 1 bull, I-M 908, tried wildly to get rid of him, and after turning into his hand (mistake, dude!), took off galloping, with Valdiron flapping on his back and then landing on his feet. But the bull had made an awkward backwards exit from the chute, and Valdiron was DQ’d for hanging onto the gate after it opened. We’ve seen hundreds of rides where guys do that, and not once have I seen a rider disqualified for it. Some people explained the call by saying it was because Valdiron held onto the gate, then let go of it for a split-second, then grabbed it again, and the bull had broken the plane of the gate. Yeah, I’m sure there’s a rule in the book about what to do when a guy hangs onto the gate, then lets go of it for a blink, then holds onto it again. I’d like the page number, please. And are they going to apply this “rule” to every rider from now on? I doubt it.
THE ONLY GUY WHO’S WORTH WIRING
Tea Time was no tea party for Ben Jones (ha): jumping and kicking in the chute; Ben held onto the gate a long time, and it was a messy out. No score, but I guess Ben was expecting a re-ride. It wasn’t a total loss: if he doesn’t ride, we get to hear “Fuck!” on the air.
Agnaldo Cardozo has been taking a beating lately. As Justin McBride put it, “He’s been part of the highlight reel for all the wrong reasons.” Savage skidded way down low, and Cardozo touched the bull trying to keep his balance. He escaped just as the horns aimed for his tush.
NOT READY FOR PRIME TIME
Train Robber, who was injured in Tulsa, just jumped all the way over to Flint’s pedestal, giving Marco Eguchi (#3 in world, went pro only 4 years ago—can you stand it?) a choice of 62.50 or a re-ride. He kept the score. Mike White literally crumpled under his hat, watching his bull give that performance; not what you wanna see when Cody Lambert gave your bovine face time.
NEITHER IS HE
“In Brazil, these are great big, gentle bulls,” says McBride about their chute behavior. Huh? I thought I was watching an event from Oklahoma. Were Brazilian bulls there? What the hell does he mean? Even if I try to make sense out of his sentence, it leads to no good. All the bulls in Brazil are sweet and easy to ride? And by implication, those riders can’t handle American bulls? (That’s why Brazilian riders are #1, 2, and 3 in the world standings.) Whatever. It’s a good thing McBride’s pretty.
Chase Outlaw wins Round 1. But right after talking about Chase’s Ride of the Night, why are the talking heads immediately discussing JB?? They are obsessed.