FLY THE FRIENDLY SKIES—OR NOT
LJ Jenkins drove 7 hours from Houston to Biloxi because he couldn’t get on the plane that Craig Hummer did. (Raise your hand if you think Hummer should’ve given up his seat to the rider, who actually HAS to be there.) Meanwhile, Austin Meier was waiting for his luggage at the airport. JW was right: Austin should’ve left his bag at the airport and used Luke Snyder’s stuff. (It worked for Lachlan Richardson.) Zane Lambert couldn’t make his flight, and the airline lost Lachlan Richardson’s luggage, so Richardson was a late entry. He had to borrow Luke Snyder’s gear (the only cowboy whose stuff would fit him). Maybe that was the secret to scoring 86.25 on Mini Me. “I can’t remember the last time I saw Lachlan Richardson make a ride,” was the comment from the booth (and me). Lachlan broke his 15-buckoff streak. Then he couldn’t get that helmet off, either. PFF, watching Luke try to release Lachlan. Quote of the night from Luke: “That’s about as ‘cowboy way’ as you can get. I loaned him my stuff, and he whipped my butt with it.”
GOOD ON YA
Luke Snyder’s 85.75 on Keepin It Real makes up for last week’s disappointment in Springfield in front of friends and family.
Brenton Chaffin, who’s been riding since he was 9. This is his first major league appearance. Unfortunately Cyber Cat’s hind hoof stepped on his right shoulder.
I’M JUST SAYIN’…
HERE WE GO AGAIN
“I always call him one of our home run hitters,” says The Bummer, about you-know-who. Yeah, you always do, because you refuse to accept reality—just like you keep telling people, “That’s why we call him “The Valdironanator.” There is no “we.” “We” is you.
And just to prove I’m right, Stormy Wing was offered 76.50 or a re-ride, thanks to Blue Gangster’s peculiar hopscotch trip. He took the reride. “That’s what Stormy does; he swings for the fences,” Hummer intones the second half of his mantra. The score for Stormy’s reride on High Steaks was 0. So much for the fences.
I LOVE STORIES LIKE THIS
John Jacobs, 32 years old, didn’t start riding until his 20s; he was motivated by a visit to an Indian reservation.
CAN I GET AN ‘AMEN’?
Jory Markiss in the Truth Booth was doing some truthtelling about how his bull ride last weekend was a 90-point ride, he doesn’t know where the judges were, he’s seen a lot of other 90-point rides where the guys did a lot less spurring. AND HE WAS RIGHT. BTW, his ankle isn’t broken; we saw a clip of him with a wrapped ankle and crutches, on a skateboard.
His ride on Maul Man was hilarious: the bull wouldn’t quit even when Jory was done; finally MM put it in park and Jory disembarked as if he were stepping out of a taxi. He did a great job of handling that weird trip; 82.75 sucks!
Oh, those fuddy-duddies: apparently some of the older riders are telling Markiss to chill. “You see me out here all bubbly, being myself…,” he told Leah Garcia. “If I’m quiet, it’s not gonna work. I’m not a calm guy.”
FASHION ALERT? I’M NOT SURE
Haven’t seen Clayton Baethge in ages, and he’s back from hip and back injuries, wearing suspenders and a Salvador Dali mustache. The verdict from the Booth Boys: “A little bit Wyatt Earpish,” said Craig Hummer. JW was funnier: “I wish I could grow a mustache like that.”
“A FULL-GROWN MAN”*
Robson Palermo, who’s traveling with Valdiron de Oliveira, visited the broadcast booth; he had been telling Ty Murray about his rehab work, which looks intense. Watch a video of his workouts to see exactly what muscles can do. He said he misses the fans, the PBR, his “bullriding family.” People are talking to him on Facebook. Meanwhile, he’s sure learned a lot of English.
*That’s what Clint Adkins or Brandon Bates (I still can’t tell their voices apart) said after watching Palermo conquer a wild ride.
Agnaldo Cardozo broke his face and some teeth riding practice bulls—so he’s riding without a helmet!!?? Stretch Armstrong literally bucked him out of his boots (one of them, anyway).
The Clash of the Cowboys woman actually has on a complete set of clothes!! One small victory for woman, one giant step for humankind!
Austin Meier’s plane was canceled, he was on his way to the arena, but he was going to be fined for missing Round 1. WTF? He didn’t ground the plane himself!
JW actually said a Portuguese word! I think it was “cowboy.” To my knowledge, he’s the first non-Brazilian PBR person to utter a word of Portuguese on TV.
JDub was informed that Mike Lee has ridden only 2 of his last 22 bulls. “I did not know that. That’s got to be wrong.”
GIVE IT A REST, PBR!
Emilio Resende won Round 1 with 88.50 on Hell Pony, but the “Kawasaki Moment of the Night” was of course JB’s 86-point ride on Extreme. Man, the PBR is so kissing his ass. It couldn’t be clearer that management wants him to beat out the Brazilians.
CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER
Claudio Chrisostomo was supposed to get on bonus bull Sweet Thang, who’s unridden on the BFTS, but declined, which gave the opportunity to Alves. JW asked, “By design?” Good question, I thought; I didn’t know riders were allowed to decline a bounty bull. It turned out that Claudio’s shoulder was hurt. Alves also declined the bonus bull. Why? Hummer says he was confused about which bull it was. According to JW, Cody Lambert told Silvano it was Great White. (Deliberate?) That meant JB got a crack at the extra $3000. In JW’s opinion, “He just hands it to JB…his near rival.” Well, not exactly: JB didn’t “convert” (I’m sure Craig said that), and the bull remains unridden.