The last nail in the coffin:
So much JB Mauney worship going on, you’d never know Silvano Alves was #1. Every other commercial break, every other interview, every other comment from the Booth Boys, and even the Athlete’s Profile: JB Mauney.
While Billy Robinson wraps, we hear the arena announcer talking about JB.
LJ Jenkins makes a ride, knocks Mike Lee out of the loop, and Hummer says, “We’ll see how JB slots in.” “…none better than JB, and what a storyline this has become. He’s won the last two events, and may get a three-peat coming into the Finals.” (More bootlicking—and predicting the judges’ performance. ) Talking about JB’s 1st pick in the draft: “It’s up to JB to seal the deal…” “The biggest story of them all is JB Mauney’s chance to cut into Silvano Alves’s lead…” And yet ANOTHER interview about Mauney—but this one is with JW Hart.
Then Craig got out his trumpet: “It’s all about JB Mauney.” Pretty effin’ insulting to all the other riders. The organization is not “The JB Mauney Show.” It’s “Professional Bull Riders”—plural. Then he topped himself: “But with Silvano now a spectator, it’s the JB Mauney Show!” I so want to slap him.
But wait—there’s more!
In the Championship Round, JB faced Shotgun Red. If he scored more than 86.50, he’d win his 3rd consecutive event. Marchi rides Slip Clutch (87.25) and moves to the lead—nobody claps him on the back. Mauney rides, all the fan boys in the arena slobber over him. JB made a good ride, so of course the judges went overboard with an 88.75. “We’re in Hollywood, Florida, but we might as well be in Hollywood, California. JB Mauney is writing his own script!” yelps Hummer, losing his damned mind over his man crush. “We couldn’t have scripted a better ending!”
JB claimed not to be noticing the points, and said modestly, “Sittin’ in first, you’re trying not to mess up as much as you’re trying to win.”
Cute: Alves being all giggly as Leah Garcia asked if being in his position and having some competition was better for him: “…In good position. JB behind me is very good…because more adrenaline, is good competition.”
• JW Hart likens a Kiss Animalize trip to a balloon having the air let out of it. JB scored 89.75 for his ride, and probably should’ve had a couple more points for his extra 8 seconds on the bull! Even Silvano was smiling. Alves behaved like a true sportsman, and sincerely congratulated JB after this ride. They actually smiled at each other and did the Man Pat.
• Footage of Frank Newsom in action: being chased down by a bull into the ground at the gate, and the bull ending up wearing his hat.
I’M JUST SAYIN’…
• After the nice moment between Alves and Mauney, Craig had to put a damper on it: “Silvano is smiling on the outside, but you can bet he’s cringing on the inside.” There are so many things wrong with that sentence, but the basics are:
1) Hummer’s a jerk, 2) He invents what he thinks is going on inside someone’s head—or says what the PBR wants him to say to punch up a rivalry storyline, and
3) He’d never say JB is cringing on the inside, no matter what Mauney’s position was in the rankings—but he has no compunction about insulting Alves. The moron doesn’t get it: This isn’t the WWF; we don’t need manufactured friction to get us excited about the action. Some riders actually do appreciate another cowboy’s ride.
“Douglas Duncan set a record for coming off a bull faster than anybody in the history of the PBR.”—Shorty Gorham talking about Duncan flying off Kiss Psycho Circus as the bull broke the plane of the gate. Douglas still managed to execute a kneeling hang-up—quite an original move.
YOU AND ME BOTH
“I worry about him hurting himself in the dance.”—Justin McBride, as Ben Jones came up to bat.
Ben, post-wreck, after being tended to by medics: “When Tandy came over with that glove, I got scared.” Much laughter from the Booth Boys.
BULLS TO LOVE
Highway 12, one of the top 40 bulls for the last 10 years, was named by Mesa Pate’s dad, who once had to rope him on Highway 12 when the bull escaped and shut down the Interstate for half a mile.
The Bonus Bull: TK 500, for $123K. How is the bonus bull chosen? Why is this one worth so much? Because he belongs to Indy 500 winner Tony Kanaan—and the PBR gave him the bull. That’s the storyline, anyway. The bull formerly known as Mud Wasp belonged to Jeff Robinson. Confession: because of my years of writing and editing, I was wondering why anyone would name a bull “To Come 500,” as in, “We don’t have that piece of information yet.”
João Ricardo Vieira conquered TK 500, with a 87.75. He was kneeling to say thanks, when his buddies ran in, scooped him up, hugged him to pieces, and carried him over to his giant check. How great to see Adriano Moraes on the Shark Cage with him, pounding (or in bull riding, would that be patting?) him on the chest, obviously very proud of him. The math: $15K per second.
HE OUGHTTA KNOW
“You gotta try until your head hits the ground.”—JB Mauney