Guilherme Marchi’s Can-Can move. Can’t wait for the day he kicks off Rasmussen’s hat.
Fans are chosen at random to watch from the Shark Cage. That’s one place I’d love to be during an event.
Reindeer Dippin’s kids are monsters: red bull Good Times bucked so hard under Zane Lambert that he almost face-planted himself. Great action. And then there’s his brother…
PACKIN’ A PUNCH (or should I say, a kick?)
•LL Cool J. Very athletic, kicking, bucking, leaping sideways. (Just askin’—how do you get to use the guy’s name, unless it’s his bull?)
•I can see why JD’s unridden. 0 for 17 on the Built Ford Tough Series—he’s a handful!
•Explosive Mick E Mouse, still unridden in 20 outs, skyrocketed Jordan Hupp to the moon. Score: 46.75.
•Stone Sober blasted Brant Atwood away; watching that final skyward kick, I bet that bull could’ve sliced through steel. He earned 45.75 for his performance.
•Big Tex “Rocks” is still unridden in 16 outs. Arrggh! Another stupid camera op who doesn’t let the replay go far enough for us to see what the announcers and Shorty are talking about: the cowbell being flung skyward. More cowbell!
Guilherme Marchi earning 90.50 and confetti for his great ride on Palm Springs in the Championship Round—even the JB fanatics have to admit that was a hell of a ride. He’s on a roll; definitely in a better mental state than last season
“The bull’s name is Boo-Ray, but Triplett’s saying Boo-Ya.” Babbles The Bummer, as Matt scores 87.50.
Did Hummer call Sacramento “Sac Town”? OY!
“It doesn’t matter how mean they are when you’re on the middle of their back; there’s nothing they can do about it.”—Justin McBride making sense.
“Sometimes you gotta have your back up against the wall to ride your best.” –McBride again.
The bull rider’s nightmare: “I wake up thinking I forgot to put the dirt in, and the time’s about to start.”–Events Logistic Coordinator Jerome Robinson
“Luckily my chin broke my fall… I was really seeing stars.” – Sean Willingham
Leah Garcia to JB Mauney after the draft: “Mick E Mouse was next to Mr. Bull; were you going to pick him?” JB: “NO!”
PROPS TO THE 3 CRAZIEST MEN IN THE PBR
The slo-mo replay of Mike Lee’s extended hangup in Oklahoma City, with all three bullfighters working to free him, is the perfect example of teamwork. I think those guys should win buckles, too.
Mike Lee, still on his hot streak (9 for 12) completed his ride on Tarantino (83.25), but that dismount right on the top of his noggin would’ve been scary if he didn’t have a helmet. It’s not easy to race in chaps, either, but he took his victory lap.
VARIOUS FASHION STATEMENTS
I don’t think that spoiler on Cody Nance’s back is helping him.
Matt Triplett’s robin’s egg blue shirt—yess!
Nice shave, Pistol! Robinson scored 87.75 on Black & Blue: “I was going for 10,” he said. Well, that’s how you make 8.
Ripped shirts are the new look, sported by Billy Robinson and Austin Meier. Not on purpose.
MORE MAUNEY MANIA
JB is now Stormy Wing’s role model, we are informed. And the female voiceover croons, “Coming up, reigning World Champion JB Mauney,” followed by Craig’s ridiculous statement: “You can only fool JB Mauney so many times, then the arrow is going to point in his direction.” Huh? Arrow? Whuh? It didn’t make sense the first time he blurted it, and it doesn’t get any better with repetition.
Justin McBride said he always wants to think JB has a chance of riding Bushwacker. Says Craig, “You always want your favorite to win.” I don’t think sportscasters are supposed to admit on air that they have favorites. “And he is definitely one of the fans,” says Hummer, messing up what he meant to say, which is that he’s one of Mauney’s fans.
“No surprise to see three of those names in the top 5: JB Mauney and Mike Lee,” says The Chief Nitwit, who’s so besotted with JB he can’t even do simple math anymore. The missing name is Robson Palermo.
All this is a prelude to Mauney’s trip on Kiss Animalize. He was wired, but he doesn’t make those loud Chase Outlaw grunts—he just made a big ol’ plop when he landed, which scooped him an 88.75 and a McBride interview.
“Why not have Leah go out on a limb and pick JB Mauney to win?” Craig says, standing right next to Sean Willingham. Jeez, the dope doesn’t even have basic manners.
Fabiano Vieira’s Championship Round spectacular 89.75 point ride on Jack Daniel’s Winter Jack was barely finished before Hummer talked about JB having the top 3 scores on the bull and Fabiano being “co-winner” with JB in New York, “who just happens to be up next, and has a chance to knock him off his perch.” I may not have the exact words, but close enough—you get the gist. His tongue is hanging out so far, Hummer can’t see any other rider.
Mr. Bull, the Pick of the Pen, is Bushwacker’s half-brother. Of course JB chose him in the draft. Burbles The Bummer: “No hesitation at all on the part of JB Mauney in any part of his career, whether he’s riding or picking.”
Oh for god’s sake, put a sock in it, Hummer!
Then after a whole lotta guff from Craig Hummer about JB (“He’s as close as we have to a rock star.” Yep, Hummer actually said that.), Mr. Bull, after bellowing his opinion in the chute, bucked off JB, who was back to flinging and storming on his way to the locker room. I don’t blame him. All the pressure on him to perform like Superman every time he gets on the back of any bull can get to a guy.
SOMETIMES IT JUST BE’S LIKE THAT
Leah Garcia: “What’s hurting on your body?”
Chase Outlaw, after his rocky trip on LL Cool J: “My wrists, my shoulder, my knee—just all sore,” is what the edited version said. “Really damn sore” is what he really said.
DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA
The melodramatic music and “I’m so tough” voiceover in the commercial for The American event is the epitome of “we’re desperately trying to convince you that this will be THE MOST IMPORTANT happening ever.” It’s hilarious.
MORE REASONS TO IMAGINE HOW FUN IT WOULD BE TO KICK HIM
•“Big strong jumps always trump big strong Brazilians,” said big stupid jerk Craig Hummer, after Angola Slim bonked his head on the way out of the chute (the bull’s head, unfortunately, not Craig’s)—and nobody figured this had anything to do with Claudio Crisostomo being thrown forward and off. What was that rule again about getting a re-ride if something changes the trajectory of the ride? Oh, wait—that’s the rule for non-Brazilian riders.
•Hummer was blabbering about how consistent Valdiron de Oliveira has been in his career; why doesn’t he have a World Championship? Uhh, maybe because one year his father was very ill and Valdiron flew to home to see him, another year he had serious injuries, and last year he had back surgery?
This time there was no way the PBR could rig a “tie”: Fabiano Viera was the CLEAR winner. Guilherme Marchi came in at #2, CanadianZaneLambert #3 (cheers for the old dude!), Superman—oops, I mean JB, #4, Mike Lee #5, LJ Jenkins #6, and a 3-way tie for #7 = Robson Palermo, Ryan Dirteater, and Pistol Robinson. A nice mix.