DID I MISS SOMETHING?
Craig Hummer keeps saying Pure PBR is “the show by the fans, for the fans.” I must’ve missed that casting call when the PBR handed the cameras, microphones, and scripts over to TV viewers and ticketholders and said, “Here— go behind the chutes and onto the dirt and into JB Mauney’s face and make a show!” If they did, I’m sure the fans wouldn’t rig the sound so that what’s happening in the arena drowns out interviews, they wouldn’t talk incessantly, and they certainly wouldn’t forget to tell all the other viewers who’s riding what and what the score is. Well whaddaya want from a guy who’s wearing what looks like a tight disco cruising shirt under his jacket?
The judges for this event were Shawn Ramirez, Ryan Byrne, Jeff Shear, Lane Foltyn. Nice to know who to blame. For example: Western Way pulled a most bizarre move: literally tilted sideways down onto a knee and dumped Fabiano Vieira off the side. The judges denied him a re-ride and got booed by the crowd. And me.
Another example of WTF: Who Dey dove down, his cheek scraping the dirt a few times, trying to remove Matt Triplett from his back. No re-ride granted. The crowd (and me) booing again. Well, at least the judges didn’t give Matt a re-ride and not Fabiano. They were even-handedly stupid.
STRONGEST BULL OF THE NIGHT
Gotta love the sense of humor: Sue was still in the chute when he clobbered a cowboy—and it wasn’t even the guy on his back. Chase Outlaw was helping another rider get set, when he suddenly was thumped in the chest by Sue’s horn and knocked five feet away onto his back. He had trouble sitting up. His mates just laughed. Leah asked him what he learned. “Situational awareness. Stay away from the horns.”
HIPPEST BULL OF THE NIGHT
Hobo’s Magic did a James Brown knee drop (actually a belly drop). Matt Triplett had on his own dancing shoes, though (do I sound like Craig Hummer yet?) and handled every move the bull tried. Very impressive. 86.50
BEST NAMED BULL
Wreck It Ralph. I remember nothing about what he did tonight. I just love the name. And I’m sure a lot of 7-year-olds do, too.
It probably was Shorty Gorham who said, “This bull has a personality disorder.” I’m A Panda, Too was violently bashing around in the chute, and after Valdiron de Oliveira rode him, took out after him in revenge and delivered several crunches. All that for 84.75.
“In the column usually reserved for JB Mauney,” Craig Hummer says, apparently surprised that someone else besides his man-crush can make 90-point rides. João Ricardo Vieira has made several. This time he took a pounding from Throbbin Robin on the ground: leg, arm, shoulder. No helmet! He made the ride, it looked like he slapped the bull, but good thing he challenged: the replay showed his hand was close, but Shear did the right thing. (Shock!) 84 wasn’t enough for the roughing up Vieira took.
• Jory Markiss’s 85.50 ride on Happy Feet wasn’t exactly graceful, but it sure was exciting, especially that wild money chop at the end. I love that he gives it all he’s got. If he hadn’t been at 8 right then, he would’ve gone flying off into the ozone. PFF: he went straight to the dummy to practice.
• Loved seeing JW Hart dealing with the bulls behind the chute. One of them actually backed away in fear.
• How could João Ricardo Vieira have been stomped on so much last night, and still want to go to work tonight? He scored 87 on Electric Prune (because he needed 90+ to lead). McBride’s evaluation: “He never made a mistake.” Hummer’s ridiculous comment: “JR able to short circuit Electric Prune.”
• Mike Lee was lucky I’m A Gangster Too stumbled when he charged after him, having already stomped his leg. Lee waited for his score (88.75), then hobbled around the arena in his victory lap.
• João Ricardo Vieira’s 90.75 ride on Smackdown (who’s16 for 89) was thing of beauty, and he stuck the landing! It’s his 3rd 90-point ride on Smackdown out of four tries.
YET ANOTHER VERB TENSE I CAN’T FIGURE OUT
“Guilherme has rode for so long…” Justin McBride.
I’M JUST SAYIN’…
• Wow, the scores for the Brazilian riders (82, 83.25, 85.75, 80.25, 84, 84.75) sure don’t match the praise they’re getting from the PBR on Twitter: “Awesome, amazing, super, terrific, fantastic”…yeah, yeah, yeah. Never mind the adjectives—put your points where your mouths are. Keeping them in the mid-80s range is the strategy that shaved down Silvano’s lead last year. Tonight it looks like the strategy’s been extended to most of the Killer Bees.
Yet Justin McBride said good things about Eduardo Aparecido’s 85.75 ride on Nashville, reminded us of what Silvano Alves has accomplished in two years, commented positively on “The consistencies that he’s rode with;” said that Claudio Crisostomo’s very strong, always keeps his head down, keeps the bull in sight, that’s why he makes as many great rides as he does; and talked about “how much fear these Brazilian riders strike into the contractors—Jeff Robinson has 8 bulls here, and 6 Brazilians are on them.” I’m thinking, Justin must’ve taken some Nice Guy pills tonight. Keep it up!
• Somehow even when Guilherme’s on the bull, the subject of the conversation is still JB Mauney—who’s not even here this weekend! And any time Mauney has been on a bull, Hummer or McBride mentioned it.
• What the hell is going on with Silvano?? It’s like he forgot how to ride bulls. Maybe all that flak the PBR gave him last year took its toll, and this is a delayed reaction.
• Cody Nance’s crazy hangup on White Velvet. He was getting bucked off when the bull fell on its side, scrambling on the dirt with Cody still attached. “Boy, it sure makes your job easier when the bull just lies down for you,” Jesse Byrne joked. It took all three bullfighters busting their butts to put an end to that situation, even though, as Justin said: “I guarantee that bull is not afraid of three bullfighters.”
• Eduardo Aparecido was the first to ride Total Com Dirt Peddler, for 85.25, but his spur got hooked in the flank rope on his way off, and he was dragged under the bull just in time for the hind hoofs to stomp him twice full-force; at the rail, he sank halfway down and Sports Medicine came to the rescue.
• RFD-HD was fidgeting in the chute, while Marco Eguchi was yelled at to get out. He got popped in the face by the bull (again), hung up, dragged, and stomped something awful.
• Shorty: “This ride is not over until you get in the locker room.”
• Percolator took Claudio Crisostomo on a trip all the way to the Shark Cage.
“Someone forgot to tell Percolator that he was supposed to buck in St. Louis, not Kansas City,” said Craig, of all people. Score 1 for Craig. I think that’s 2 so far this year.
WTF R U TRYING 2 SAY??
“Alves himself not too shabby; two World Championships as well.” As well?? How many other people have two, Craig??
BEFORE AND AFTER
In the draft, Valdiron chose Crack the Whip because one of his friends told him which bull to pick: “I believe Ben Jones. I don’t think he lie to me.”
The ride was messy—and he took 2 shots in the face. (No helmet.) He told Leah afterward, “Ben Jones is lying to me!”
Clever idea, to put Who Dey and Mississippi Hippy in adjacent pens so we could see the difference in size: the Mini Me effect. The mistake was in letting Justin McBride do the comparison—he can’t do math. Neither can Craig. They both paid no attention to the numbers on the screen. If one bull is 1300 lbs. and the other is 2400 or 2500, he’s not twice the size. If one is 4’ tall and the other is 6’, he’s not twice the size. Looks like the guys’ll have to repeat fifth grade.
João Ricardo Vieira wins his 1st event of season, 4th of his BFTS career. (He’s now #2 in the world standings.) Claudio Crisostomo was 2nd, Mike Lee 3rd, Markus Mariluch 4th.
I guess missing Downton Abbey wasn’t so bad.