The Mad Haters at the Tea Party:
Royd Doyal, Shawn Ramirez, Allan Jordan, Lane Foltyn, Jess Shearer.
Wait—I meant Mad Hatters.
The Silvano Alves montage. The Bushwacker montage. Bushwacker lounging in his Las Vegas suite. (BTW, that shot of him in the hotel lobby looking at the golden centerpiece was faked. There was a fence around him that was edited out by the magic of technology.) The tweet from People Magazine telling people to watch Bushwacker. Marco Eguchi’s “triple flippin’ double gainer” off Roy’s back. (Sorry, Marco, but it was spectacular.)
HICKORY DICKERY DOCK
“Having some issues with the clock,” says Craig Hummer, as Tanner Byrne’s score on Superfreak took a while to come in (83.75). Same old song. “A bit of a malfunction with the clock and the scoring system,” he elaborates, as Kasey Hayes waits to hear about his score on Shepherd Hills Tested (79.25). “Technology that has gotten tangled,” he elucidates further. Leah Garcia informs us that we are now “going old-school,” meaning that now the judge at the back of the chute is manually starting and stopping the clock. (Oh great—plenty of wiggle room for shafting Brazilians.)
The replay of Ryan Dirteater’s ride on Boot Jack clearly showed a big lag between the two clocks: 7.33 vs. 7.41! One clock stopped at 7.33, but Ryan challenged it, because he said he knew he still had the tail of the rope in his hand at 8 seconds. And yup, he scored: 86.25.
This is how Ty hedged his bets about Stone Sober: “He wants to go to the left, but he’s also schizophrenic.”
I TAKE IT BACK!
As it turns out, today Fernando Henrique was ready for prime time, scoring 86.25. “This bull is old, mean, and smart,” Shorty said about Excavation. Ty thought he was talking about Cody Lambert. (Snort of laughter here.)
REASONS TO LIKE STETSON LAWRENCE:
He weathered an exciting ride on Wicked and landed on his feet, for 88.75. Plus, since Craig Jackson chopped off his braids, Stetson’s the only guy out there with long hair.
Robson Palermo struggling with serious pain, limping and bent over after Yo Yo did a number on him. How Ty could say that ride was gonna give him confidence is beyond me.
- Ty Pozzobon had a hair-raising 88-point trip on Fire & Smoke, who’d been ridden only twice (by Fabiano Vieira). Ty had the tip of the rope in his fingers as his foot touched the ground at 8—good thing they both happened at the same time.
- Renato Nunes is the only guy to ride Air Time, earning the highest score of the season. Ty’s comment is no revelation to me: If you get Renato mad, he does better. He kinda does defy physics. Ty says this bull’s gonna sling Renato right across the arena. Shorty describes the bull: “Hair trigger, real touchy; when a fly lands on his back, he’ll run crazy around the pen; he’s afraid of his own shadow.” Well, he didn’t sling him that far, and Renato landed on his feet. “You never know which side of the pen they woke up on,” was J.W. Hart’s take on it.
- Ty Murray describing a 46.50-point trip by Asteroid: “From this angle you’re not gonna be able to see the trueness of how it was.”
- “Let’s see if he can swing the pendulum over to the rider’s column,” says The Bummer about Mike Lee. I’m still not sure what he meant.
YEAH, THAT’S THEIR STRATEGY:
- Valdiron de Oliveira, getting ready to go out on Palm Springs, was put on the clock pretty darned fast; he got out with 6 seconds left.
- “The real JB did stand up, and converted in his typical Finals fashion,” slavers Craig. Yeah, in Round 1, for 88 points on More Big Bucks, in that Favorite Son overscored kinda way. Then they talked about how many 90-point rides he’s had in Las Vegas. Gee, I wonder why he has so many at exactly the time when Silvano Alves is in the lead. Meanwhile, at the gate a pack of guys are coddling Mauney. Deerango was being rambunctious, so JB gets off the bull again, and they wait while he re-sets. Craig’s in ecstasy: “another explosive pairing that could result in another 90-point ride.” You mean, if he stays on, he’ll get a 90. Instead, the bull bucked him off in 1.98 seconds—and JB challenged it as a foul. As if!
- Gage Gay scored 87.75 even though Brown Sugar lost steam. Any American will do.
I’M JUST SAYIN’…
89.25 was an “attaboy” score for Kody Lostroh showing up with a broken bone in his ankle and riding The Rocker (who for some reason was pretty tame this time); Kody had to crawl part of the way out the arena, and be walked out the rest of the way.
- Mick E. Mouse comes in today with 26 straight buckoffs, unridden in his career. His first two moves were smashing—and he kept going, for 46 points. JDub says he’s gentle, but I wouldn’t want to try to prove it.
- The Telestrator demo of Asteroid’s and Air Time’s “Wow Factor”:
Asteroid’s “Wow Factor” is his sideways leap, covering about 12 feet (at least I think they said 12). That’s after his huge leap out of the gate, followed by his vertical “Wow.”
Air Time’s “Wow Factor” is the ability to stand en pointe, chin on the dirt, body vertical, with one leg out in the air—after taking two Air Jordan leaps from the gate—and land on his feet. Ty Murray’s quote: “Have you ever seen a bull in a crazier position? If you’re still on him at this point, where are you gonna sit??”
- Talk about a “Wow Factor”—Stone Sober is explosive! His mid-air maneuvers earned him a 46.
- In case we forgot, Shepherd Hills Trapper is “the Barry Sanders of bulls.” This time he pulled two of his deep-dirt cuts one right after the other, first in one direction, then immediately in the opposite direction. Ty describes J.W. Harris’s unsuccessful trip: “That’s a 4-time PRCA World Champion saying, Which way did he go?”
WELL, SHUT YORE MOUTH!
Craig’s lousy crack: Mick E. Mouse “has a chance to rise up and wipe the smile off a Brazilian’s face: Eduardo Aparecido.”
IT’S A THING
Matt Triplett credits his hot streak (92 on Walk Off, for example) to “Hot yoga, all the way.” I’ve done it once, and besides feeling queasy and like I was going to pass out, everything hurt for four days.
DON’T RUN, MIKE!
Crossfire was unridden on the Built Ford Tough Series, and gave Mike Lee his first beating at the Finals. When he hit the ground, Lee made a huge thud; it looked like he was unconscious for a second, and he sure was rocky as he wobbled to his feet and exited with help. Or as The Bummer put it, “Crossfire able to cross up Mike Lee.” You know he has these lines scripted ahead of time, and just inserts the cowboy’s name in the blank space. The one on the page, not between his ears.