BullRidingMarketing’s Crystal Ball

My predictions for 2015:

  1. The PBR points system will become more and more complicated and confusing until only Cody Lambert understands it.
  2. The PBR TV schedule will become more and more complicated and confusing until only Sean Gleason understands it.
  3. The PBR will develop a spinoff website all about J.B. Mauney, which they will then develop into The 24/7 J.B. Channel. J.B. will become a franchise, with his own line of clothing, accessories, and grooming products (including a men’s fragrance which of course will be called “Just Bad”), and we’ll be able to buy stock in him. (If Craig Hummer doesn’t scoop it all up and become majority owner.)
  4. More PRCA and CBR riders will get a toe in the PBR door, and PBR will continue to look down its nose at them—until Sage Steele Kimzey shows up and kicks some PBR butt. Get this: coming into the PRCA Finals, Sage (age 20) was leading both the PRCA and CBR standings. He won the gold buckle in He’s also one of only two people in the past half-century to win both PRCA Rookie of the Year and the world title in the same year. (He also won the Top Gun Award). Gee, if he rides in the PBR, I bet they’ll deign to name him Rookie of the Year, too.
  5. Craig Hummer will break the land speed record for words per minute. And half of them will be “J.B.”
  6. We will discover that Ty Murray actually has two personalities, and neither one of them can make up his mind.
  7. PBR judges will develop even more creative math skills, until someone finally hires a hit man. (Don’t look at me; I can’t afford one.)
  8. PBR will install poles on the dirt for the Monster Energy “Girls” and Rockstar Energy “Girls,” and for those in chute side seats, lap dances will be free. The children (and women, and men with a conscience) in the audience will just have to hide their eyes and pretend this is good family entertainment approved by their God.
  9. We won’t see a bull with Bushwacker’s star power. (That’s a big ol’ DUH.)
  10. This one I didn’t need a crystal ball for: riders whose last names end with a vowel will dominate the Top 10 spots.
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About Bull Riding Marketing

Creative services, marketing and public relations professional from entertainment industry background. Published in magazines and newspapers worldwide. I believe bull riders are the new rock stars.
This entry was posted in Built Ford Tough Series, Bull Riding, CBR, cowboys, PBR, PRCA and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to BullRidingMarketing’s Crystal Ball

  1. saraht says:

    Your first prediction has already come true!

    Like

  2. Tired of being fan says:

    OMG. Just watched the PBR on CBSSN and Lambert and Ty could not stop talking about Silvano. Cody even went so far to say that Silvano, McBride and Chris Shivers were the best 3 riders ever,

    Like

    • It was truly bizarre. Lambert even said that he thought Silvano’s 88 score should’ve been 90! I’m not sure if this is just them giving lip service so we won’t notice the judges maneuvering things, or if they’ve all developed schizophrenia since the Finals. Half the time Cody doesn’t even make sense, and now this–? My mind is blown. However, it was clear exactly how the points system can be manipulated: Renato was #1, and by the end of last night, had been moved down to #8. All it took was one lower-than-fair score, and several higher-than-fair scores for the American boys.

      Like

  3. Tired of being fan says:

    What other sport changes the rules every single year just so they can control the outcome? Every year, new rules!

    Like

  4. Tired of being fan says:

    Bravo. I agree with every prediction for the next year.

    Like

  5. Bobby Clower says:

    Pbr sucks now

    Like

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