Had some thoughts hanging around for a while, so I figured I’d put them here.
THE OUT CROWD
Round 2 is where it looked like Matt Triplett’s injury (possibly a torn ACL or MCL) would keep him out indefinitely. (Coyote kicked his left knee during the dismount.) But since I can see the future (Seattle), it’s not a PCL injury, and Matt thinks maybe he can ride by taping his knee.
It also looked like J.B. Mauney would be out until May, but again, my retroactive crystal ball told me he’s getting a brace, and wants to return to riding in late April or early May.
ARE WE RELAXING THOSE RE-RIDE RULES?
- Nutso’s awkward sideways bobble took Nathan Schaper out of position and the bull almost fell down, but did NOT stop its motion. The judges offered Nathan a re-ride. J.W. Harris also was awarded a re-ride, because Leslie’s Pet crashed into the fence—but the bull’s motion didn’t stop, it just slowed. Is this a new re-ride rule, and will it be selectively applied? I remember a few scraping-the-dirt moves by other bulls that nearly took Fabiano Vieira, Silvano Alves, and Guilherme Marchi down with them, but those guys weren’t offered re-rides. However—see Highlights below for what happened with Renato Nunes.
- 17 qualified rides in Round 1; pretty surprising. The wunderkind from Brazil, Kaique Pacheco, won Round 1. Not so surprising. I’m still puzzling about Ty Murray’s semi-coherent remark: “Wonder with these young guys if when they get an egg broke in ‘em if something happens to them.” I think the translation was that he thought maybe Pacheco’s wreck injury took him off track. Yeah, that’s why Kaique scored 89.75 on Joe the Grinder in Round 1, for his 5th round win of the season.
- W. Harris won Round 2. Not so surprising, either.
- Ben Jones took on Beaver Creek Beau, who was on a 21 buckoffs streak—and broke it. “He’ll get on anything,” Ty gushed. “This guy would get on a mountain lion!” Great score: 90.25, and as Craig put it, “Albuquerque was treated to the Ben Jones extended dance mix!”
- Stone Sober “hates having people on his back,” says Ty. “He goes spastic and will do anything he can to get ‘em off.” The bull sure proved that: leaped up hard in the chute, then exploded, chucked Renato Nunes off, and literally hurdled him, all four legs churning in mid-air like Michael Jordan. Reminded me of Wile E. Coyote running off a cliff into the air (before he comes down with a huge thump). Renato threw some wild stuff at the bull; 99 ½% of all riders would’ve let go after the first big bomb, but he is one feisty lil’ cowboy! The bull stumbled, and his back end went down far enough to earn Nunes a re-ride—once Renato challenged for it. The situation was enough like Schaper’s trip that the judges had to grant it, or their attitude toward the Brazilians would’ve been REALLY obvious (for the thousandth time).
MARCHI KEEPS MARCHING ON (Has Hummer used that one yet?)
Guilherme Marchi came into this event with 538 rides under his belt and left with 541.
Ty Murray complained about Ryan Dirteater getting too picky about how Oscar P. was standing in the chute. Dirteater ended up on the clock, and started to argue with the judge—not something you see every day! The cranky pill at the chute DQd Ryan for chute time—and Ryan kept arguing. Did anybody ever explain what was happening?
RACISM ON THE HOOF
Craig Hummer referred to Ivan Sells, the 2014 Indian National Finals Rodeo champ, as a “full-blown Navajo Indian.” Moron. Did he mean full-blooded? Why is that relevant? Is Aaron Roy a “full-blown Canadian”? Can’t you just say, “Ivan Sells is the Navajo rider who won the INFR?” (Note: Navajo is a nation, therefore its citizens are Navajos. “Navajo Indian” is redundant. It’s like saying “an Irish Irishman.”)
Add Ty Murray’s condescending, “Look at this, there are some abilities… This is the ultimate underdog right here,” and I want to slap both of them.
Ivan Sells decided to become a bull rider after seeing “8 Seconds,” but he didn’t know which hand to use, so he just followed what Lane Frost did. Good way to start.
MORE CREATIVE COWBOY VERB TENSES
According to Ty Murray, Gage Gay’s “confidence has been shook.”
I’M JUST SAYIN’…
- Joe the Grinder gave Shane Proctor a hard time; after Shane’s 86.50 smooth ride, Joe went after Shane to hook him, but slid on the dirt and missed (Ty thinks he was dizzy from spinning so much). Proctor slid down a notch in my book when he said something about Kaique, calling him “Pacheco—whatever his name is.” It’s not that hard to pronounce, dude.
- Mortifying: since Sonic is now the official PBR drive-in (I mean, how many drive-ins are there?), some of the bull riders had to put on roller skates and serve some customers. How embarrassing! PBR Marketing has them by the you-know-whats.
- Silvano Alves came into this event with a 60% riding percentage, so naturally he was given one of those predictable Get Silvano scores: 84.75 on Western Nights. He was some kind of hurt after the ride, helped out by medical staff, but naturally, because it’s Silvano, the commentators barely noticed.
- When João Ricardo Vieira broke Walk Off’s 24-buckoff streak, Craig lost his marbles. “JRV just sent a statement to the world… That’s going to be the ride heard round the world!” What, did you forget to take your medication today, Craig? Vieira had a very solid seat, “He couldn’ta rode that bull any better,” said Ty, but the score still wasn’t a 90, because that wasn’t J.B. Mauney on Walk Off’s back. JRV’s score was 88.
STOP IT ALREADY!
- They keep re-running the video of last week’s awful wreck, showing Kasey Hayes unconscious on the ground, getting his chest trampled. For extra awfulness, they keep displaying his split-open helmet.
- “I’m talking about a different level here,” repeats Ty, about how the 4-time PRCA World Champ J.W. Harris has to “step up” because he’s riding in the PBR. I am fed up with his condescending attitude. Ty never won a PBR championship, so I guess that means he didn’t “step up”? In the Championship Round, J.W. picked Mick E Mouse, for their 3rd Suddenly Ty is admiring J.W.’s attitude: “Mick E Mouse is dreaded by everybody; nobody wants to get on him, he’s dangerous, there’s nothing attractive about him.” Mick E was on a 32-buckoff streak; Ty called him the rankest bull in the world. Even though it was J.W. going up against the Mouse, it was never a contest. The bull scored 45.75, and “All he can do is tap and tip his hat to one of the best bulls ever,” babbled Hummer, stumbling his way through yet another incoherent moment.
You can’t pay for this stuff: Hummer, trying to tell us what’s in store for us, got tangled up and ended up saying something about “a judge goes on the clock properly.”
OMG!! The guy Leah Garcia interviewed about event logistics—Jay Daugherty, VP of Competition—is the nasty s.o.b. I encountered (at a distance, thank god) at the NY event!!
COULDN’T HAPPEN TO A BETTER GUY!
Ben Jones takes the win! “I’m a bit lost for words…not gonna feel like a man when you say this, but I feel like I’m about to cry” was what I could make out of his interview with Leah Garcia. Are you kidding? I’ll bet I wasn’t the only one who got misty-eyed. A bunch of riders, including João, hoisted Ben on their shoulders and whooped their way to the winner’s circle. Unfortunately the last thing we saw onscreen was two female butts in our faces, obscuring the view of Ben holding up a trophy.