Without any Built Ford Tough Series action this weekend, I had a flashback to the Colorado “Rumble in the Rockies.”
BTW, this hourlong broadcast contained just 30 minutes of bullriding material.
HELL HATH FROZEN OVER!
I nearly hit the hardwood when the judges awarded the Fabiano Vieira/Diesel pairing 90.25, for an incredible ride. It’s so rare for those guys not to begrudge a Brazilian rider a 90! This time it was a positive .25 ding. Of course he wasn’t interviewed when he scored, or even when he won. Bah humbug, as one of my grandmothers used to say.
Second in the news: Ty Murray actually used the word “inertia” correctly. And he wasn’t talking about lying on the couch.
IT’S A J.B. WORLD, AND WE’RE ALL JUST LIVING IN IT
The broadcast opened with that laughable “I’m so macho” voice bragging about how grueling the season has been, and how a “dangerous” J.B. Mauney has made a return, reasserted himself, etc. Never mind all the other guys returning from injuries, such as ROBSON PALERMO! You know the drill: trying to drum up excitement by playing up the physical injuries, and sticking to the scripted storyline about PBR management’s favorite rider.
I finally figured it out: Craig Hummer gets paid according to the number of times he says “J.B. Mauney.” I thought I might note the number of times, but I lost track.
Then, naturally we see an interview with J.B., instead of João Ricardo Vieira (53.70% riding percentage), Matt Triplett, or Kaique Pacheco, who are #1, #2, and #3 in the world standings. Are you reading me?
Magic Train came into this battle with 11 straight buckoffs, but because he was facing J.B., who has a 46.67% riding percentage, Craig declared that “the next pairing could go well past that [90.25].” We all know that as long as J.B. stays on a bull, 9 times out of 10 his score will be north of 86, and it’s nice to know that Hummer will tell us the score ahead of time.
- Panda Trax is certifiable. I thought Cooper Davis had a lock on that ride, but at 7.95, he got bucked off. (I yelled.) The bull didn’t just turn and give him what-for, he literally attacked Cooper, then tried to sit on him, and butted him along in the dirt. Frank pulled the bull’s focus (once again, we see how crazy The Fearless One is), while one of the other guys pulled Davis out of the way. Cooper had the presence of mind to challenge the time; the replays showed it was close, but he actually did have the rope in his hand at 8, even as the rest of him was about to become Panda’s doormat. Amazing! A lot of guys would’ve let go earlier and just try to protect themselves from the monster. 87 for Davis, but only 43 for the bull. (Were the judges punishing him for bad behavior?)
- Long John: steep coming up and steep coming down, to Nathan Schaper’s detriment. 46.75 was high score of the event.
- ABBI Classic winners from the Colorado Springs event: Bruiser and Wired Child, tied at 89.25 each. King Pin was the Back Seat Buckers winner, with 92.
BEN, WE LOVE YA DEARLY, BUT…
Ben had food poisoning, and of course thought he was fit to ride, but after Modified Clyde’s lousy start, the Dancing Ozzie was a lost cause. After the buckoff, the bull literally almost went ass over teacup, and landed in almost the same position Ben did.
HIS RIGHT FROM HIS LEFT
J.W. Harris’s neck and back injury (herniated disk) was causing his right arm to go numb, but he didn’t want to “sound like a whiner,” so he got on Percolator, got bucked off, and the bull scored 46. Said Hummer, dyslexing, Percolator was “no match at all for J.W.” Um, then J.W. would’ve scored the 46.
I’M JUST SAYIN’…
- Could they please stop labeling events with stupid Worldwide Wrestling titles? It makes bullriding seem even dumber than a lot of people already think it is. I obviously don’t, and I know plenty of intelligent people who don’t, but the PBR is working against us when they use what they think is a clever marketing tactic. It ain’t. People who watch bullriding will watch it no matter what you call it, and people who don’t aren’t going to start because you call it “Rumble in the Rockies.” “Bucking Battle” is good enough, though even that kind of embarrasses me.
- After we see (for the umpteenth time) the gruesome video clip of Kasey Hayes getting creamed by Panda Trax in Des Moines, then Hummer and Ty Murray have a “conversation” about how Cooper Davis has to put this visual out of his mind when he gets on the bull today. Well, maybe if you didn’t keep showing that disaster, Davis wouldn’t have to try.
A RE-RUN OF THE RE-RIDE NONSENSE
Stone Sober came into this event with 23 straight buckoffs, and fell down on Reese Cates right out of the gate. Re-ride flags flew. Now, why is that? Cates got a clean out, it looked like he slapped the bull, and we’ve been told many times that a rider has to make the full 8 seconds to get a re-ride option. I’ve seen the same thing happen to other riders, and I squawked that they didn’t get a re-ride; the explanation for not being offered one was always that the rider wasn’t fouled in the gate. Well, neither was Reese. Kaique Pacheco got slammed and squashed by Walk Off (who racked up a 44), but no re-ride.
Of course I think a cowboy should get a re-ride if a bull squashes him, but that’s not the point. The re-ride rules continue to be inconsistently applied, and the PBR makes no effort to stop the judges from pulling this crap. They just keep screwing with our heads, trying to make us think we’re the crazy ones.
From the PBR website:
Re-ride: If the bull’s performance is sub-par (negatively affecting the ride score) or if a foul occurs during the ride (the rider is rubbed against the chute, the bull stumbles, the flank strap detaches, etc.) judges can offer the rider a chance to take a re-ride.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen bulls stumble, but no re-rides were offered. Plus, where’s the much-touted “the bull’s motion has to stop” criterion for a rider to be granted a re-ride?
And just to make things more confusing, Ty said something about “breaking the plane of the rope.” Please tell me he was just befuddled, and that isn’t a real thing!
Also from the website:
Chute Clock: The Built Ford Tough Series implemented a new addition to the Professional Bull Riders’ original chute clock rule during the 2014 BFTS event in Nampa, Idaho. Each rider will have 60 seconds from the time he begins to pull his rope until he nods his head to begin the ride. The chute clock will stop the countdown when the judge starts the 8-second ride clock.
Regarding disqualification the rule states, “In the event that the chute clock countdown time expires before the rider nods his head, the judge has to make a determination to disqualify either the rider or the bull at the end of the allotted time. If the bull is disqualified then the rider will receive the first available re-ride bull. If the rider is disqualified, his ride for that round is over and he will receive a no score.”
Yeah, right. There’s a J.B. clock, and he’s never been put on the other one. As long as the commentators keep chanting, “He’s one of the fastest to get out of the chute,” we’re supposed to believe he never takes more than the allotted 60 seconds. LOL.
“This guy is a true warrior.” – Ty Murray’s comment on Guilherme Marchi.
J.B.’s standard response to, What happened to your rope?:
“I shoulda put more rosin on it.”