Championship Round – PBR, Charlotte, NC
To listen to the announcers, you’d think this event took place in Mooresville. Somebody actually said the event was in J.B.’s hometown! Use a map, bozo boys.
I couldn’t stand the idea of watching the first two nights on Carbon TV or PBR Live or whatever the eff it is, so this is all she wrote.
IT’S A WHOLE NOTHER LANGUAGE:
“It’s already like an explosion has went off.”—Ty Murray’s description of Air Time
“A bee-moth like Air Time…” OMG Craig, use your dictionary.
That photo of Air Time’s bizarre pose, with his butt shooting for the moon as he rests on his chin.
Of course we’re getting our major dose of J.B. performing his script.
- How did Josh Faircloth suddenly show up? How did five riders from North Carolina end up in the event? Is that all it took to qualify? Being born in the favorite son’s home state? SO not cool.
- Local boy Shane Proctor came off I’m A Gangster Too at 7.99 or slightly sooner, from what I could see and hear, then took a shot on the back of his left leg. “Much like his brother-in-law, J.B. Mauney…” was Hummer’s irrelevant comment. (Just gotta get those promotional comments in there.) I don’t begrudge Shane, but I would finish that sentence with, “he gets to use the J.B. clock.” The ride was replayed without a digital clock visible, so it was easy to score him 88.25.
- “That was the greatest run to a World Championship we’ve ever seen…this guy is definitely going to be the legend of this sport,” raved Ty about Mauney. Never mind Alves, who won 3 World Championships (some of us say 4). I’m not drinking the Kool-Aid.
João Ricardo Vieira wasn’t in the Championship Round.
- Off the Grid was seriously rockin’ and rollin’ in the chute; Josh Faircloth must’ve been picturing another ankle break. After several minutes of attempting to get set, it got ridiculous; Josh should’ve given up much sooner than he did. After two more riders, Josh got a second chance—on Fire Rock. Leave it to The Bummer to come up with, “Fire Rock is able to light up Josh Faircloth.” Sounds like a positive thing. Considering what actually happened, Fire Rock was able to burn Josh Faircloth.
- Buck Dynasty was his usual charming self: he was so eager to get nasty that he hung a foot in the chute on his way out, fouling Renato Nunes, who got smacked against the corner of a post and then bashed in the back. Since Renato was stuck with the bull in the draft, he looked real happy that he was going to get a reride. That didn’t work out so well, either: Stanley FatMax wasn’t in the mood to be ridden. Or should I say, wasn’t in the mood to be done rode? Craig’s take: “Couldn’t have a worse matchup.”
- The buildup to the J.B./Air Time match: “Will Air Time fall victim like so many great bulls before him?”—Craig, ready to hyperventilate about a potential 98 score. Instead, he was left saying that J.B. had a “dirt sandwich.” Mauney made a Mike Lee-sized plop when he hit the ground. The bull’s head had snagged a bit in the front of the chute, and J.B. also slapped his horn, but still challenged for a foul, which didn’t work. Jared Allen’s impressive bull scored 45.50. Magic Train, another Allen bull, kicked J.W. Harris’s ass and scored 45.25. If I were Magic Train, I’d be looking over my shoulder. You don’t want to make J.W. mad.
- Stuntin’ Like My Daddy finally got his own back against Cooper Davis, who rode him twice; the third time was the charm for the bovine.
- Fabiano Vieira was on an 11-ride streak, got bucked off in Springfield, and is now on another streak. He rode Diesel, got smacked against the fence at the getoff, and scored 88.50. Of course the post-ride interview was with Shane Proctor instead of the guy who just beat him. Because…I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.
- Percolator gave a good performance, including some rear end action late in the ride. Tanner Byrne did some percolatin’ himself; he made it look easy to score 89.25. Of course, when Kaique Pacheco, who turned 21 on Saturday (the 19th), rode Percolator, “It wasn’t Percolator’s best out,” according to Craig.
- Kaique Pacheco on Sasquatch scored 88.75—as far as you can go without getting an American score. Ty Murray’s evaluation of the ride: “This was off the charts.” Ya mean, like 90? I thought so.
How come some riders already have dirty asses before they even get on a bull?
Pacheco wins! Gage Gay, who won Round 1 was #2, Tanner Byrne #3, Fabiano Viera #4, J.B. Mauney #7. And true to form, no on-air interview with Kaique, who’s now #3 in the world. Because…again, I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.
NO KOOL-AID SHORTAGE!
The wrap-up of the event consisted of Shorty Gorham and Craig Hummer trying to turns J.B.’s loss into a win by talking about his confidence, and how he “captured the hearts of viewers.” (And lots of other blather, trying to make themselves feel better about their favorite rider not winning.) You’d think the guy won the event! They just cannot accept reality: J.B. is not infallible, and a 21-year-old Brazilian kid won, okay? Get over it! These jerks would never do this stuff for JRV when he doesn’t win. This is more of that PBR Gaslight strategy: tell people what isn’t true until they think it is. Don’t drink the Kool-Aid, people. There’s a lot of it around.