Before I say anything about the farce that was the Finals, here’s just a sprinkling of Allentown…
Eduardo Aparecido conquered King Buck. The bull didn’t get his butt in the air that much, which affected the score, but 86 ain’t shabby. Neither is Eduardo: he rode Mississippi Hippy in the 15/15 Bucking Battle, also for an 86. I just love when somebody rides that truck!
J.W. Harris didn’t even know what his bull Big Dan looked like. “I find it best if I don’t know what they’re going to do,” he says casually. And that’s how you score an 85.25.
Douglas Duncan’s bull was The Kraken, and I just can’t believe the arena announcers didn’t take the opportunity to yell, “Release the Kraken!” The monster lost: DD scored 87.
Earlier this year Kasey Hayes had a compression fracture of a couple of ribs, and after riding Circle City, had a really terrible dismount: “Landed right there on my back like a turtle.” A turtle who scored 86.
According to Craig Hummer, who’s been taking cowboy grammar lessons: Mason Lowe “got tossed, turned, spinned, and shuttled” by Double Agent, who tried to trample him, then went after him for real.
Nifty: Valdiron, who’s 36 years old, has a 50-year-old brother who’s still riding bulls. Not so nifty: he was put on the clock.
I’m just sayin’: Justin McBride, who ought to know, says “What a great ride” after João Ricardo Vieira’s ride on All Jacked Up, but the judges gave him an 82.50.
Brazilians were injured en masse: Renato Nunes was as close to gored as you can get, Luis Blanco has two broken ribs on his free arm side, Rubens Barbosa got his face smacked against the chute, Spiderman’s previously dislocated shoulder was hurting and made him lose his grip, Silvano’s got that patched-up hip… dropping like flies.
…and a light dusting of Tucson:
Ryan Dirteater scored 88 on I’m A Gangster Too, who was kicking out the lights. And that’s the guy with no ACL and no PCL. The arena was LOUD after this ride.
Shocker: Lachlan Richardson finally ended his 19-buckoff streak by riding spunky speckled Chocolate Thunder for 86.25.
Kaique Pacheco scored his 4th 90-point ride.
STICK YOUR FINGER DOWN MY THROAT:
“a battle is brewing between these two go-for-broke gunslingers…”
“The storm is here and the thunder you hear is JB Mauney and JW Harris doing battle.”
“JW Harris & JB Mauney are basically carbon copies of each other.” (SO NOT!)
Or maybe I should say, stick your finger down The Bummer’s throat.
Score one more for J.W.: Because he’s 1600 points behind JB, suddenly there is no JR Vieira (#2) or Kaique (#3). The competition, as envisioned by the PBR, is between only the two white guys. Leah Garcia asked J.W. when he knew it was going to be a two-man competition in Las Vegas. His laconic reply: “Whenever you guys told me.” He sure didn’t drink any Kool-Aid.
Kasey Hayes: “If I ride bad, I’m hoping to ride the next time, if I ride good, I expect to ride.”
I knew Douglas Duncan didn’t have the tail of the rope in his hand at 8; he was already on the ground—the replay showed he didn’t make it past 7.85 on Easy Money, but the judges scored him 83 and didn’t look at it, though Hummer and Ty Murray stated what we all saw on the air. If that were a Brazilian rider, the ride would’ve been scrutinized, not scored.
Ty Murray: “It feels like I talk about it over and over and over again…” That’s because YOU DO, Ty!
Stetson Lawrence delivered the Comedy Routine of the Year on Micro Man: falling and sliding and hanging and bouncing all over the bull from one side to the other.
Spiderman was DQ’d in Round 1 for catching knots, but nobody saw Cody Nance do it a couple of times. Or they saw it and pretended they didn’t.
This is the event where both João and Robson Palermo got messed up. Palermo had to bow out with a concussion, and Vieira separated his knee.
Wow, there were almost two seconds of silence when Reese Cates came out of the chute on Orange Crush. Hummer must’ve been on a bathroom break.