Nearly the first second of the broadcast was about J.B. Mauney—but they also featured Robson Palermo and new kid on the block, 18-year-old Jess Lockwood. They are all losing their minds over Jess already, just like they did over Cooper Davis. He is exciting to watch, though.
Later in the event, poor Jess took on Air Time, the $50K bounty bull. “That’s gonna buy him a lotta corsages for the prom,” cracked Craig. We heard the loud smack of Lockwood’s head against the bull. The kid looked all shook up, fading across the lot to the trailer, disappointed. I’d hate to be inside his head at this moment. Probably questioning his place in the universe. 47.50 for the bull.
We also had to hear (again) about J.B. being a mentor to Lockwood. Didn’t we just go through that with Derek Kolbaba? How many riders is J.B. “mentoring”? And does that consist of telling them, “Don’t stop trying till your head hits the ground”? Just asking. Same quote from J.B. as last time, slightly revised from “He’s going to be around for a long time, longer than I am” to “He’s going to be around for a long time.” Interesting.
QUOTABLE (FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE)
• “That kid [Kaique Pacheco] mechanically is as good as anyone we’ve got.”—Ty Murray.
• “When you see both legs straight up, that’s what tells you the bull is in control.”—Ty, master of the obvious.
• “You have to try as hard as you can without trying too hard.”—Ty again.
• “They can kill you on accident.” Ty has a serious preposition problem.
• Every time I hear Hummer’s “Derek Kolbaba has been able to dominate the potpourri of power” I laugh. It just doesn’t get old.
SHANE PROCTOR’S BUMMER OF A SPRING
“It has turned into a season of discontent” for Shane, Hummer said; I wonder if he even knows where that phrase is from. 25 consecutive buckoffs, and yet Shane’s #7 in the world. He’s going to have surgery to get some screws and metal taken out of his arm(s); it will keep him out of action for a few months.
RANDOM THINGS YOU SHOULD BE REMINDED OF
• Kaique Pacheco came in with a 49.07% riding percentage, and finished with 50.75%.
• Fabiano Vieira came in at #4 in the world. By Round 3, he was #3, with a 51.61% riding percentage.
• Eduardo Aparecido is #6 in the world.
• Jay Miller had football scholarship offers.
• Cochise scored 45. Interesting double kick right at the gate.
• 15 guys rode in Round 1 (that’s a lotta rides), none better than Robson Palermo on Swashbuckler for 89 points.
I’M JUST SAYIN’…
• In Round 2 Ryan Dirteater‘s bull Calypso hipped himself and his rear end came out in a different direction, but there was no re-ride offered. Whatever happened to that “changing the trajectory of the ride” thing?
• J.B. Mauney came in with a 53.49% riding percentage, and left with 54.17%. Justin McBride called him the best rider in a decade. Where is your brain, McBride? I’ve got two words for you: ADRIANO MORAES. As I saw J.B.’s ride on Moto Moto, I thought to myself (who else would I be thinking to?), “Watch the score be ridiculous,” and sure enough it was: 89.75, which of course moved him to #1 in Round 2 (his only ride). The judges had to have him win something. (“He’s never won a major, he’s never won a major,” was the repeated refrain.) The Booth Boys were all rah-rah, even after he kept getting bucked off. They even gave us “more inside information” about J.B. Why don’t they just post his X-rays online? I’m sure there must be some nook or cranny of him they haven’t told us about.
• Round 3: Stanley Fatmax had been ridden by only one guy (Tanner Byrne, for 86.75), and Eduardo Aparecido became the second. 85.50?? YOU SUCK, YOU JUDGES! This bull obviously has a big difficulty factor, and you shaft Eduardo with a mediocre score? If that was J.B. on his back, it would’ve been 90 or more. To add injury to insult (yes, I meant that), Aparecido took a big shot to the face–without a face mask.
• I love how in “Behind the Ride,” J.W. Harris talked about Tuff Hedeman (no love lost between Tuff and the PBR) and Don Gay, instead of the usual PBR icons. I hope they don’t slap him down for this. The PBR can be very gangsta.
• Kaique Pacheco on Wicked scored 89.75 – they couldn’t squeak out that last .25? Ding!
• Big Cat is unridden. Ty described what the bull would do, and it was good enough to get rid of J.B. Mauney, who exited grimacing and half-hobbling. All I could think of was Flint Rasmussen’s crack a few years ago that if you buck off, you’d better walk out with a limp. J.B.’s been taking that very seriously.
During this event there was a brief trio of boxes in the upper right hand corner of the PBR website homepage about bareback bronc riding, barrel racing, and one more event I didn’t catch. Is this an inkling of future plans to expand into rodeo events?
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS?
PBR has announced a bull riding “Academy” for junior high, high school, and kids in special camps. Sounds great—but there’s a dark side. The behemoth has found another way to screw over the smaller fry. What about the bull riding clinics run by Shane Proctor, Wiley Peterson, Dustin Elliott, Cody Custer, Terry Don West?—not to mention Gary Leffew! Unless they’re geographically insulated from PBR outposts, they can’t compete. Maybe the PBR could just finance them, like a franchise, and they could keep going; of course the tradeoff is, all their best riders graduate to PBR school. And no doubt PBR scouts will be scouring clinics and camps for fodder to put in their pipeline. I bet they’ll offer scholarships for guys they think are BFTS-bound. I’ll also bet they won’t be spending money importing more Killer Bs. In fact, this whole operation smells like Brazilian-protection. It’s not just about stepping up to rank bulls.
Pacheco wins Round 3.
In Round 4, there was only one ride: the winner.
Eduardo Aparecido had to take on Asteroid five minutes after a blast of Stanley Fatmax. How come there was no big fuss about this, when the Booth Boys get all sympathetic for certain other riders if they have to take another bull just a few minutes after the last one? 44.25 for the bull.
Kaique took on Little Red Jacket for 88 points, $100K, and the #1 in the world slot. Not bad for a day’s work. The fun part was seeing Guilherme Marchi and Silvano Alves hoisting little Kaique in the air and Adriano Moraes giving him a bear hug.
THE FLY IN THE OINTMENT
There was no televised interview with Kaique. The PBR never has a translator any more. This way they can talk about J.B. not being #1 instead of Kaique being #1. Shitheads.