This is more like a stream-of-consciousness rendering of the rest of the Iron Cowboy event.
Of course the lead-in to the CBS broadcast has to include 2012 Iron Cowboy, J.B. Mauney, as if he’s about to win the event. Never mind João Ricardo Vieira, who won it twice (2014 and 2015). They also commented on Jess Lockwood not being here–because those are the only two guys who count: The Great White Hope and his anointed successor. Keep hoping, PBR bosses, because I don’t think it’s gonna happen.
Pay attention to Claudio Montanha, Jr. instead. And Cody Teel, former PRCA and CBR champion. He even beat Sage Steele Kimzey, which is just about impossible to do.
Aaaand of course the first interview is with J.B. Leah Garcia, still searching for elusive words of wisdom from the Fan Favorite, gets this: “Stay on. That’s the name of the game here. Make the whistle.” “Stay on. That’s my job, the rest will take care of itself.” SO profound. OY. And I am so sick of that fake humility.
“My attitude was to try to be first every time.” –Ty Murray. As opposed to all those other guys who try to be second every time.
Thank god Chase Outlaw shaved. It makes him a little less difficult to look at. Gotta give him props for that round 1 ride on Buckeye Bill, though: worth the 88.25.
João Ricardo Vieira drew Brutus; unlucky for him. The first jump set him up for failure. “It only took one up, and JRV was the one down.”—Craig Hummer accurately (for a change) describing this unpleasant out. 45 for the bull. BTW did you know that Vieira “lightly slammed” his bull rope against the out gate in Kansas City? I never knew you could lightly slam something. Another chuckle, courtesy of Justin Felisko, PBR scribe.
For the 3rd week in a row, Eduardo Aparecido has drawn Jack Shot. Tell me that’s an accident. “He just keeps making bull rider moves”—Ty Murray, reaching the pinnacle of insight. 90.50 for a great ride.
Spotted Demon turned Wallace de Oliveira into a helicopter. This is the bull that tanked Guilherme Marchi for a while.
Claudio Montana, Jr. looked good on Bad Beagle, a Jared Allen bull. Montana won the PBR Brazil title and debuted in Kansas City last week, impressing everybody. This time: Aww! He looked like he had a lock on that bull—WTF happened at 6.71? He landed in a backward somersault, on his head. The Booth Boys think he lifted his leg too soon; he was overconfident. I guess that’s better than being underconfident, but neither attitude helps.
Freak of Nature’s trip down the rail would’ve been a re-ride, but Reese Cates got bucked off; another backwards somersault, landing on his head. He challenged the call, but didn’t prevail. There may have been a little irregularity at the chute, but not enough for the judges to think he was fouled.
Fabiano got Red Rover to come over. (Ha!) “If you’re riding a bull easy, don’t make it hard,” was Justin McBride’s assessment of what Vieira does: he keeps VSage Steele Kimzey, it simple. True dat. Score: 86.50. They were so eager to get to JB’s ride, they didn’t bother to announce Vieira’s score. You have to look for it, or listen hard to the arena announcer, who usually tells the crowd the score. Come on, Booth Boys—do your job. Stop licking JB’s boots for a while.
They were babbling that JB’s the best at riding rank bulls (EVER, I suppose), but Mystical bucked him off in NYC last month. This time the bull fell down, and JB got bucked off at 7.61, in an impressive flying dismount. He challenged the no-score, and received a re-ride option. He had made every possible effort to stay on, even without a rope in his hand—which of course would automatically be a no-score. The re-ride was offered because the bull hipped himself, causing him to fall down. The weird thing is that the bull’s action didn’t stop—now there’s a bovine who knows his job!
Shane Proctor, last year’s Iron Cowboy, prepares his own food and brings it on the road to keep the 10 lbs. he lost at bay. I’m curious what a bullrider healthy meal is. He could tout this as a new weight-loss plan. Anyway, Hey Jack scored 44.50 off him.
Rubens Barbosa, world #2, took on Stone Sober. “To be a special bull, they have to be a little freaky in their head” was Ty’s analysis. “The more psychotic they are in their head, the more athletic ability you see come out of them.” I don’t know; I don’t think Bushwacker was a mental case; he was just really smart and ridiculously athletic. Barbosa, however, had no chance. The bull came out backwards with a big jump. Or would that be a kick?
So now Eduardo and Fabiano are #1 and #2 in the event.
JB’s re-ride was Naughty List. “He [JB] really is a freak of nature. He’s never worked out a day in his life. He’s got that Gumby kind of body.”—Ty, revealing his age– and mine, since I know who Gumby is—and it ain’t from watching Eddie Murphy play him on Saturday Night Live. (“I’m Gumby, dammit!”) “But there will be no fairy-tale ending on this occasion,” intones Hummer about the result of the match. That’s because the judges didn’t get to write the script this time.
Supposedly this is the biggest house of the year, according to Craig. I really wanted a pan of the stands to see if there are empty seats, because when they say things like this, there usually are.
Luciano de Castro, 20, made it to 5.26 on Air Time, who is also a freak, according to Ty. 45.25 bull score.
Mason Lowe on Smooth Operator, for 90.75, moves to the lead. That’s a .25 ding for Eduardo. Now, do we really believe Mason’s ride was better? Or was it the bull? Nope; both bulls scored 44.75. So…
Cody Teel, who rode in the previous round, had to take on Bruiser, helping the bull to a 46.
Oh, god; another Bad Boy “Mow with an attitude” spokesfloozy. Could somebody explain to me what exactly that attitude is? “I’m gonna grind this grass into the ground! Yeah! I’m gonna cut it till it bleeds!”? Very attractive.
Fabiano on Honey Hush made an unbelievable recovery from being out of position tilting on the right side of the bull. 88.50
Aparecido pulled Big Black Cat, “a very rider-friendly bull,” per Craig. Eduardo rode him (the bull, not Hummer) away from his hand. 88.75
Mason Lowe on Fire and Smoke looked like a lock, but arrgh! 44 for the bull.
“And then there were two: the Brazilians will move on.”—Hummer being a jerk and emphasizing nationality. Would he ever say, “Two Americans will move on”?
I’m loving the Cooper Tires commercial, and now it’s gonna be stuck in my head. “Cooper tires on the ground go round and round…”
Fabiano had to tackle Cochise, who has beaten him twice. Vieira naturally was put OTC. I think he wasn’t set before he had to nod; he didn’t look happy coming out of the chute. The result was equally unhappy.
Eduardo rode Catfish John, to win the event. Score? The Booth Boys don’t bother to tell us. 89, I found out. Aparecido pulled himself back up when he was out of position tilting on the side of the bull. He’s now #1 in the world. Of course Leah asked him a question he didn’t know how to answer (as she does with many people). At least this question didn’t have three dependent clauses.
About the money: somebody please ‘splain: A Feb. 15 story on the PBR website says, “The Iron Cowboy event winner will receive a total of $100,000, including $50,000 from Bad Boy Mowers as part of the Bad Boy Mowers Major Bonus Program, providing $200,000 over the course of the four PBR Majors this season.” Aparecido won $138,766.67, according to the PBR website. What an oddball number. Does that mean, after taxes? To make it more confusing, in a photo on the PBR website, Aparecido is standing between two $50,000 checks. (Last year, winner Shane Proctor took home $115,625—another oddball number.) Does anyone understand this math? Please let us all know!
The deciding factor in Fabiano’s and Eduardo’s successful rides: the guys pulled themselves back up to center when they were out of position; they were willing themselves to win—and they have the core strength to do it. Odds are that most riders would let themselves get bucked off at that point.
It was fun to see a pack of Eduardo’s “compatriots” flinging him up in the air. Cute! I’m sure bull riders don’t think of themselves as cute, but they were; it was like seeing a bunch of kids win a ball game.