Okay, here we go: right off the bat, Craig Hummer aggravates me by calling the event a “confrontation.” Then he continues to blather, “the Idaho Center is the playground …and we will see who keeps the kids in order.” What does that even mean?
JB is at the top of the show, of course. A broken rib kept him out for a couple of weeks. Um, other guys who are not considered “dragon slayers” have come back to work faster than that with their ribs just taped up.
“He’s a home run hitter.” How many times have we heard that? Only now, Hummer’s talking about JB, not Stormy Wing. Shorty’s stupid comment: “You gotta take the re-ride, you gotta have your foot on the gas, because JB’s here.” That’s offensive to all the other riders, as if Pacheco and Cooper aren’t a threat to the guy who’s behind them in the world standings.
RE-RIDE PROS AND CONS
- I think Ryan Dirteater should’ve gotten a reride. Trigger Happy wasn’t cooperative in the chute, and had just thrown Ryan forward against it as Dirteater was nodding, then the bull came out awkwardly backwards. Maybe they didn’t give Dirteater a re-ride because he turned down a re-ride in Round 1, keeping a 77 for his ride on Iodine. I’m just sayin’…
- JW Hart opined that Kaique doesn’t have to take re-rides, unless the other guys start catching up to him. (In Round 1, Pacheco kept 70.75 on Say Goodbye.)
- Jess Lockwood kept a 76, also in Round 1, for his ride on Lowlife. JW told Jess he shouldn’t turn down a reride, since he’s 5th in the world.
Robson Palermo credited Shorty Gorham’s yelling, “Keep moving! Keep moving!” for helping him stick on Ringworm, for 86.75.
JW said the judges are a little tight here, but when Mason Lowe on Traveler needed 84.50 to move ahead of Palermo, they gave him 84.75.
YOW (and not in a good way)
- Ty Pozzobon is back. In the 2014 Canadian Finals he got a concussion bad enough to keep him out four months. He came back, and a bull stepped on his chest and punctured his lung. Now he just has a bad back, he said. Heartbreak Kid “turns out to be a heartbreaking ride,” sez Hummer. Well, at least Ty had an 83.50 from his ride on Phantom on Round 1.
- Big Sky rolled over on Nevada Newman last night, Nevada hit his head on the ground, and was knocked out. This time he got bucked off hard by Pops and looked pretty shaken up. I would say that bull didn’t have much timing.
- What a great save Paolo Lima did! Scored, 84 got off Pile Driver, and smacked his (helmetless) head into the fence on purpose. I think maybe an end zone dance would be a little less painful.
Nice shot of Jess Lockwood clamming twice while JB preps! If Mom saw that, she wouldn’t think he was so cute anymore .
- Of course Craig thinks the big headline is JB returning. I am so sick of both their faces.
- Chase Outlaw miraculously got himself back into position when he was out of wack at least twice. That last judge took quite a while to figure out the math that would give Outlaw an 85.25 and move him to the lead. Judges be funny like that.
- “I think in the years past, the Mauney Mystique counted for something here.”—Craig. Now he thinks that’s not the case. Tell that to the judges. BTW, there is no “mystique” here. Greta Garbo had mystique. A cowboy from North Carolina does not.
- Last year in Idaho was when Silvano Alves broke his hip. I’d be feeling a little barfy tonight if I were him. I wish I’d seen his ride on Cowtown Slinger last night (only 82.75), but if I watched PBR Live, with that camera angle, I wouldn’t really see it anyway. I’d be watching an ant on a grasshopper that’s jumping up and down.
- JW made an interesting observation that the Brazilian riders may all hang together here, but when they go to Brazil, they don’t, and that the Americans are somewhat separate here, but when they go to Brazil, they all hang together. Get it, people? It’s a natural thing to hang with people who speak your language. However, Brazilian riders have made an effort to learn English, while as far as I know, American riders haven’t made an effort to learn Portuguese. A two-way street would be a nice idea.
- Craig keeps harping on his delusion that Stormy Wing’s a “homerun hitter” and can score 90s when he rides. What reality is he living in?? They are few and far between. Red Bandana tossed Wing. So much for a home run. “Stormy Wing looked stunned when he hit the dirt,” said Hummer. I’ve got news: Stormy always looks stunned.
- I really thought Cooper Davis was going to go flying off Thunderbolt a couple of times, but instead he was scored 89 (43.50 for the bull). Sometimes if a rider gets wildly out of position, he loses points, even if he pulls himself back into position. Like, um, let’s say, Silvano Alves. But not Cooper Davis. “I felt like I was throwing Hail Marys over there,” he said.
- Kaique gets into the Championship round by virtue of his lousy 70.75 score. Now do you see why he didn’t take the re-ride, boys? Having a score made it a sure thing. Gambling on a ride could’ve kept him out of the round.
- Finally—a funny Hitch’d episode! Flint Rasmussen giving JB a lie detector test and making him recite the lyrics to “Ice, Ice, Baby” is good television. Props to JB for saying that Jesse Byrne is his favorite bullfighter. Mine, too.
- Today’s Athlete Profile was of João Ricardo Vieira. In my recollection, it’s rare for them to feature a Brazilian rider, isn’t it? Maybe this is has something to do with the fact that the PBR has issued its first T-shirt featuring a Brazilian rider, and his name is Vieira. I’m wearing mine right now.
- Jess Lockwood said he gets to control his own destiny, and he gets to make his own decisions; he didn’t take a re-ride, he has to live with it, and he’s fine with it. Then Cody Lambert chewed him out for not taking a re-ride. Since when is the livestock director supposed to rag on a rider? Jess rode Wipeout in this round. He needed 86.75 or more to lead; he recovered himself several times during the ride, and they gave him 86.50. Was that a little ding, a slap on the wrist for not toeing the party line?
- Apparently Cooper Davis is teaching Jess not to let anyone else affect him, and to play his own game. That’s a good thing.
- Stetson Lawrence has an uh, interesting look: a ski cap under his helmet. He did a good job on American Sniper, for 86.75, becoming a new round leader, tied him with Robson.
- Intensified Clyde Remains unridden, according to Craig Hummer, and he’s wrong. There have been 10 rides. Cody Nance didn’t make 8 seconds in the first place, and he touched the bull; I could see his hand on the bull’s neck. He challenged the call, and after several reviews, the judges finally decided that he didn’t make the ride. There is some justice!
- At this point, Eduardo Aparecideo, #5 in the world, has a 46.05% riding percentage, which is very respectable, but the direction change by Set ‘Em Up Joe did just that.
- Kaique kept 70.75 from Round 1 on Say Goodbye. This time, Wonder Flyer threw Pacheco onto his back (Pacheco’s, not the bull’s), and that was not a comfortable landing. It was also kinda unexpected; I didn’t think that bull could unseat Kaique.
- Guilherme Marchi now has 569 rides under his belt. He scored 86 on Wolverine in the previous round. To me, Lone Wolf was a mystery buckoff. Marchi should’ve ridden him. I’ll bet he thought so, too.
- João Ricardo Vieira has a 43.53% riding percentage, but Joe The Grinder made short work of him.
- Say I Won’t Playboy was The One That Got Away. Derek Kolbaba has now gone for 5 events without a ride.
- Ty Pozzobon, Rubens Barbosa, Nevada Newman, and Ryan Dirteater were out of the Championship Round with injuries.
Derek Kolbaba has been gifted a wild-looking truck, painted with red and white flag stripes, featuring a picture of a bull and rider, with what looks like a silver apartment on top. There are no words…
THE JUST PLAIN UGLY
- Alves is now 4 for 4 in the event. For his ride on Long Haired Outlaw, he was dumped on with a 79.50, despite the fact that he made a great ride, pulling himself back into position no matter how crazy the bull was. Let me not even say what The Chosen One’s score would have been in this case.
- After Marco Eguchi scored 85.75 on Stars & Stripes, Hummer said he “is able to fly the Brazilian flag over Stars & Stripes.” Right there in a nutshell is how you get some Americans to hate Brazilians.
GOOD FOR THE BULLS, NOT SO MUCH FOR THE COWBOYS
Lifting Lives was running 18/0, and then Shane Proctor made it 19.
GOOD FOR THE BULLS, NOT SO MUCH FOR THE COWBOYS
- Unridden Midnight Train lurched forward, bashing Pacheco’s facemask on the front of the chute. 44 for the bull, and Kaique landed right on his knee.
- Tanner Byrne’s attempt on Smooth Operator, who apparently has been ridden once in 28 outs, resulted in 44.50 points for the bull. “That was a heck of a lot of prep work for a 3-second ride,” said Hummer.
- Seven Dust sure kicked up a lot of dust, and chucked Marchi pretty high. 45 for the bull.
- Jeremiah did some fancy dancing, and Lockwood was ejected pretty high. He may have a broken bone in his riding hand, but that butt-landing couldn’t feel too good, either. 44.25 for the bull.
- Paolo Lima won NYC on Cochise, and was #1 in the world for 6 weeks after that. Here, they put him OTC, and he got bucked off at 7.85. I reeeally thought he would ride him!
- JW described Marco Eguchi’s bull Torch as “a little bit of a chutebuster” and “It’s just a different chair you’re gonna sit on this time.” Not the most comfortable. All he has to do is ride, and he will lead. First they put him OTC. Then he got bucked off at 7.93, but he touched the bull at 7.8. Bummer, and his arm is hurt.
GREAT OUT OF THE GATE
Bruiser definitely gives great scores. So far the best was Kaique Pacheco, 94 in Guymon, Oklahoma in 2015. In 2 years, there were 8 rides, total.
GUESS WHO WILL WIN
JB picked Stone Sober, who has 31 consecutive buckoffs. (Let’s not forget that Emilio Resende rode this bull in 2013 for 88 points.) “He has chosen one of the biggest dragons out there,” Hummer starts rhapsodizing. “JB’s gonna expose him,” said JW. Don’t know exactly what he meant to say. Just as JW says the bull isn’t going to be a problem in the chute, the bull goes berserk and they have to lift JB out of the chute. “He’s got his A-team with him,” babbles Hummer, as if the other riders are JB’s apostles. “One of the few men he lets get this close to him in these critical moments,” he utters, as if JB is a world-class neurosurgeon and this is a global drama. Well, if he doesn’t, asshole, he’ll have nobody to help pull his rope and keep him from getting banged up in there. And he continues: “JB Mauney proves once again that he is one of the best out there.” Okay, wait for it: “Today he has risen up in the sky!” Yes, boys and girls, Craig Hummer actually said that! JB is God. So naturally the score was 92.50. JB’s quote: “That’s the way I like going about bull riding: Wild Western.” Yeah, yeah; storyline. Yawn.
This is Mauney’s first 2016 win. It adds 505 points to his world ranking. Cooper earns another 385.
The post-win interview, talking about why he picked Stone Sober: “I’ve never been a businessman a day in my life.” JB talked about how making “businessman” decisions doesn’t work for him; he likes the bulls “Wild and Western,” and he’s going to pick the rankest bull in the pen. That is a subtle slap at Silvano. Think back to how many times the commentators talked about Alves making business decisions about picking bulls he knew he could ride.